Unexpectedly, I got hit by a car

As the title of the chapter says: I got hit by a car, unexpectedly. And miraculously, or unmiraculously to some people *cough* asshole bullies from middle school *cough*, I survived. All I got was a broken leg that's now in a brace, which probably won't get any signatures. Nothing too major other than a broken leg, I'm grateful. Grateful of the fact that I lived and also because I'll be able to skip 2 weeks of school.

Now, if you're wondering. No, I'm not a lazy sack of shit. I just conserve energy. Yeah, that's right, you heard me. Y'see I live by this motto: I don't do anything I don't have to. What I have to do, I do quickly.

...Wait, isn't that from some anime? Ah, whatever. [1]

Where was I? Oh yes! So, I'm laying in a surprisingly comfy hospital bed in good 'ol Chiba Hospital. Ah, yes. Chiba. What a wonderful city I live in. I sure do love Chiba. Wonderful places to visit. Temples, shopping centers, parks, different unique districts. Chiba truly is such a wonderful city, I feel blessed to live here.

My love for Chiba is almost as pure as my love for Komachi and MAX Coffee, more on them later.

So here I am, laying in bed, reading a light novel. It's pretty good, I'm currently halfway through the 5th volume. As a whole it's about a pessimistic high schooler who's forced to join some club and follows his adventures with his clubmates (who obviously like him). I like the main character. Though, I'll admit, he kinda pissess me off. He isn't really like most MC's, but the damn bastard is so dense. Or at least he acts dense. Y'know, I sometimes just wanna go into his world and beat the shit outta him for being so dense. Oh well. He reminds me a bit of myself too. All of that cynicism and self deprecation, I mean.

Reading this light novel in a strobe filled clean white walled room is nice. The smell of lemon scented cleaning spray fills the room. It smells how any other hospital would smell like. It's actually quite nice. Good thing there aren't murderous pregnant mothers wandering about at night looking to feast on some flesh [2]. That'd be bad some bad news. Besides there's much worse roaming the halls...

Anyway,' I'm having a pretty sweet time here, y'know? I just lay in bed, read some light novels, press a button to get some free food, drink good 'ol MAX Coffee and play on my Vita which Komachi brung a few days ago.

Speaking of Komachi. She's my cute little sister. She's cute and bubbly, loveable and cheerful. The exact opposite of me, I'm disgusting and broody, hateable and a debbie downer, according to most of my middle school's denizens. Oh well. Anyhow, Komachi has an infectious personality. Just being around her makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. Heck, just looking at her has the same effects. That cute toothy grin of hers, her big sparkly eyes, those giggles of her.

Seeing her act any other way isn't right. Nobody should ever make her feel upset. I remember back in middle school i would come home from school before she did, that way she wouldn't be alone. You shoulda seen her face, her big bright toothy smile. I came home before her from then on. However, a few days ago I failed her.

I made her sad and worried for me. It's nice to know that people care for you and all, but knowing I made Komachi depressed filled me with guilt. She told me when I regained consciousness of how sad she was. Of how she was crying for hours straight. All because of that stupid damn dog,

I got hit by a car for saving some random dog. The owner better be grateful, they haven't visited me to say thanks or anything. Or, at least I don't think they have. Heck, the people who hit me with their car haven't even visited me to say sorry. Man, that kinda sucks. I don't need thanks or a sorry, but shouldn't it be courteous? I wouldn't care if they didn't mean it, in all honesty...

Hikigaya…

Huh?

Hikigaya…

The hell? Who's there?

"Who's there?" I voiced to no one in particular.

I was met with silence. Hmm, is she here again? Probably. Damn girl keeps visiting me for some reason. I should probably say this. A girl has been visiting me as of late. The thing is, though, she's not real. Or, not… alive? I dunno.

She, her name's Elyse, visited me my first night here. I was already awake, my leg in a cast, and I laying in bed staring at the ceiling. The lights started to flicker on and off, then the walls started to ooze green slime- wait, no that didn't happen [3]. Only the lights flickered on and off. The bed started to shake a bit, nothing unusual… right?

It was only after the lights stopped flickering and the bed stopped shaking that she appeared. What I saw was a little girl, no more that 10, in a white sundress materialize right in front of me.

2 Days Ago

9PM

"Hello"

"Uh… who the hell are you?" I asked, my eyes not leaving the little girl.

It isn't every day you see a girl appear out of thin air right in front of your nose.

"The names Elyse! Nice to mee'tcha, sir!" The little girl yelled, her smile glowing with 1000 watts.

"Elyse?" I said absentmindedly.

"Yup, that's me. What 'bout you, sir? What's your name?" She asked.

"It's, uh, Hikigaya" I told her.

"Hikigachi?" She said.

"No, Hikigaya" I told her again.

"Ohhh, Hikigala?"

"...no, Hi-ki-ga-ya" I enunciated.

"Ah, I see. Well how do ya do Hikigaya?" She asked me, walking-no, hovering closer to me.

"Are you a ghost or something?" I said a bit too quickly.

"Uhhh, yup. Ghost, yea that's right I'm a ghost."

"Bullshit" Woops.

"Oh for shame Hikiglaki, for shame. To have the gall to curse in front of a little girl, tsk-tsk. You're lucky I'm not like my friend Erma, she would've surely kicked your butt, mister [4]." She said.

Damn girl, she keeps messing up my name. And who the hell's Erma?

"Sorry and it's Hikigaya" I told her.

"Sorry 'bout that Hikigaya, I usually fwub my words" She said that big smile plastered on her face[5]

"What?" I asked "N-nevermind that, who-no, what are you?" I asked the little girl.

Hmmm, now that I think about, she reminds me of Komachi. They're both really cute and innocent. This little girl is really cute. Short light blue hair, pale white skin, big sparkly blue eyes, toothy smile like Komachi, her white sundress is really cute, too. Such cuties... I'm not a lolicon, I swear.

"Mr. Loli, you sure do think a lot, don'tcha?" Pardon?

"What?"

"I said 'Mr. Loli, you sure do thin-"

"No I heard you, what did you mean by it?" I asked, interrupting her speech.

"Oh, it's just that you have a whole lotta inner monologues, eh?" She told me.

Inner monologues? Well that's true, but how could she possibly know?

"I know cuz I can read minds, dude" Hmm?

"Read minds? How?" I asked, recieving a smug smirk from Elyse.

"One of the perks of being a ghost." She said "You coulda gotten some sweet ghost perks, too. If you died during the car accident, that is" Oh?

How does she know of the accident? She piqued my interest with that.

"I saw when you saved that dog" Did she?

"Yup, that was pretty brave of you, mister" She said, her toothy smile showing again.

"Oh, well, th-thank you" I spewed out in a flustered tone.

Oh man, get a grip Hachiman! Don't let this little girl fluster you!

"A-Anyways, why are you here?" I asked her.

Hmm, now that I think about it, how am I not freaked out by this little ghost girl?

"I'm here cuz I wanted to help you" How?

"Well, y"see, another ghost perk is the ability to give non-ghosts some ghost perks" Perks? What is this, Fallout? [6]

"What perks? And how do I know you won't me curse or somethin'?" I asked.

"It's against the rules" Rules? "Yup, and there are a bunch of perks. Though humans can only have a few."

"Like what?"

"Walk and see through walls, being able to dissapear and reaapear, cool magical attacks and teleportation, telekenesis and a few other things" What? That sounds awesome!

"Where can I sign up?" I asked.

Wait, think about the consequences Hachiman. You might be selling your soul to the devil here.

"There are no consequences and you're not selling your soul to the devil."

"Yea? How do I know you're not lying to me, huh?"

"Don't worry 'bout it, there have been plenty of others who got the same deal. You'll be fine. So, you gonna agree or what?" Elyse said, hovering around the room.

"...Suuure?" I said, uncertainty evident in my voice.

"Oki-Doki! I'll cast my super secret spell on you!" She said as she clapped her hands together.

"Ahem. Oh Cthulhu The Great, allow this pitiful, rotten eyed, waste of absolute human life obtain these sweet magical powers!"...

Elyse hovered above me, her eyes closed, she outstretched her hand and clenched her fist above my head.

"Uh, what the hell are you-

"Shh, no talkin'" She interrupted.

She opened her closed fist and from her hands fell some... pixie dust? Wait, it has a smell-

Ah-Ah-Achoo!

What the hell? Did she just sprinkle pepper all over me?

"Ah jeez, what the hell?" I said, annoyence in my voice.

"Did you sprinkle pepper all over me?" I asked while running my fingers through my hair and patting off excess pepper off my chest.

Giggles. That's all I heard. I looked at Elyse only to find her holding her stomach and laughing her ass off. I couldn't help but smirk at such an innocent looking sight.

"Haha, you should've seen your face. Anyways, the pepper and the little chant weren't needed." What?

Elyse hovered over to me again and extened a finger to my forehead. She pushed her pale little finger up against my head.

"Boop! There ya go! Your powers should activate in a few hours" She said, a sincere smile adorning her delicate face.

She vanished soon thereafter leaving a faint scent of strawberries for some reason. And true to her words my powers appeared a few hours later... sorta. I haven't figured out how to teleport but I can see through walls. I'm trying not stare at the ceiling anymore... of course there had to be a bathroom right above me.

I was able to dissapear, too. I just had to concentrate and poof, I was invisible. I was able to scare the hell out of my doctor doing this, a certain Dr. Miura, I think his name was.

I have yet to figure out the magical power attacks and I haven't tried teleporting due to my leg. I have been able to make my light novels float in front of me with my telekenesis, which is fucking awesome.

However, there's been one thing that's been botherin' me. My vision. My vision hasn't been impaired or anything. It's been improved actually, evident by the fact that I can see through walls, but I can see things. Weird things, very weird things.

I'm talking about gobs of goop with eyes floating around going through walls and shit. Weird looking animals prancing about and people, too. Or, I guess other ghosts? They come in all different shapes 'n sizes.

Some are tall and skinny, others are short and fat. Some wear peculiar clothes, some wear suits 'n ties, others don't wear anything at all, they just show their odd colored flesh. Good thing none of the naked ones don't have any private parts, well the girl ones still have their, uh, yeah. Anyways they all leave either a scent or some colored slime on the ground.

I asked Elyse about it the next day she came and she told me it was just ghost vision or something.

Speaking of Elyse she was calling my name.

Hikigaya...

"Oi, c'mon, show yourself already Elyse" I said.

Hikigachiki...

...Really?

After a few seconds she materialized in front of me.

"Sup dude! " She yelled.

"Nothin' much, Elyse. What brings you here?" I asked.

"Oh nothin' much, I'm just checkin' up on ya again. So... how ya likin' them powers, eh? " She said, looking at her surroundings.

"They're pretty cool, though I wouldn't expect ghosts to have such powers" I said.

Elyse stopped looking around and locked her bright blue eyes with mine.

"Heh, well I'm not really a ghost" What? "I'm more of a demon, actually" So I did sell my soul to the devil!

"Oh don't be so dramatic, Hikigaya. In fact, I was sent by Lucifer himself! Don't worry though, he's actually a pretty nice guy." Lucifer? Nice? I have a hard time picturing that.

"Should I, uh, y'know, be scared that the Devil himself sent you?" I asked.

I must be sweating goddamn bullets now.

"Nah you'll be fine. In fact, I'll take you to him now!" Say what now?

"No no no no no! I don't think that's a good idea-

"Oh nonsense, come come! He's been waitin' to meet'cha! Besides, you'll be meeting a much more sadistic lady devil later on" She said mysteriously.

Oh dear God no! Wait, what?

Before I could voice my complaints and questions, Elyse grabbed both of my hands and closed her eyes. She only smiled at me. Huh, she really does look like Komachi...

That was all I thought of before my vision faded to black and felt heat engulf me.

A/N: Hey all, I'm here with another story. First off all, I wrote this on a console browser (which is shit, by the way) so if the format is all weird I'll get my hands on a computer and fix it. Anyways, I'm not sure how I got this idea, but I hope it was fun to read. I'm going for a sorta Parasyte: The Maxim thing here, but w/o all the violence and death. Some characters will duke it out w/ Hikigaya and Hell will have a prominent role, probably. And unfortunately I'm putting my other story 'Connections' on hold for now, sorry.

Hope you enjoy.

[1] Motto from Hyouka used by Hotaro Oreki.

[2] Reference to Junji Ito's Uzumaki.

[3] Good 'ol Spongebob reference, specifically the episode called "Graveyard Shift"

[4] Erma is the titular character in Brandon Santiago's "Erma", one of the most adorable comics I've ever read.

[5] Mayoi Hachikuji from the Monogatari series often messes up Araragi's name.

[6] In Fallout you get to choose a variety of perks.