BPV Chapter 1

Walking through the streets of our neighborhood has always been one of my favorite things. A much needed therapy session to be alone with my thoughts and take a deep breath every time I think of what the future holds.

It's hard to imagine how I ended up here. I actually feel ashamed sometimes. I hate having to lie, especially to my dad, but given his health, it's what's best. I know deep in my heart he wants me to be happy, and although it's crazy to think I fell for someone so different than the people I grew up with, I wouldn't change a thing. James. He is my everything. My heart beats so fast just thinking about seeing him again. I'm not even sure when exactly I fell for him, but it happened so fast. I have never met someone so determined to better themselves.

Perhaps it's what I admire the most about him, or perhaps it's his good nature and kind manner.

He is everything I had hoped for. I remember as a young girl the conversations I had with my best friend, Rose, and how we hoped one day to find a loving husband. To put it simply, there's no one else I'd rather be with.

I quicken my steps, anxious and excited to see him. We tend to meet after lunch hour so there's less people around and a slimmer chance of getting caught.

I know I'm very fortunate, as I belong to an important family. The Swans. My dad used to be the Mayor, so everyone knows us. They respect my dad, and there's a certain expectation to uphold for our family. I know this is what concerns James. He somehow got this idea that my family won't accept him. He is a police officer, and he finds it hard to believe that I don't care that he doesn't come from a rich family. I know financial stability is an important aspect of a young woman's wish when finding a suitor, but I want love. I want to be married to someone I love passionately and who cares for me. I know James loves me, and I also know my dad will support me. My mom will come around. Gosh, my mom. I know she's always worried about what people say, but I don't want to live my life like her. Always doing what people expect of you! I can't imagine how that can lead a happy life. Simple answer. It doesn't.

I can see James standing behind that old oak tree.

My beloved James. I remember the first time I saw him; he looked so intimidating. He seemed so serious, always standing straight up. His chest was broad, currently covered by his smart uniform and his badge, reading "Smith". His arms were strong and bulky. I love being in his arms; I feel safe and more sure about our love than anything else around me. His hair is blonde, but cut pretty short. And his eyes, oh his beautiful eyes. Behind his baby blue colour, was warmth and the fierce, fiery love he had for me. I could never get tired of looking at them.

I can see him finding me. Observing. To an outlooker, he could appear disinterested by my presence, even bored. But I knew better. I could see the yearning in his gaze. For both of us, this time together was everything.

I look around, and thankfully, don't see anyone that I know.

As I get closer, I feel my heart accelerate and I have to bite my lip in order to contain my smile. His gaze is now completely locked on mine, and we're home.

"Hello, Miss Swan." James says as he bows his head slightly.

"Hello." I respond, feeling completely silly and breathless. Wanting to scream out my love for him.

I looked up at him. Not elaborating, but simply enjoying being in his presence.

"You look so incredibly beautiful, it's hard for me to keep my hands away." He says. I feel his eyes travel down my body. As his eyes travel I feel his burning stare, igniting a fire deep inside of me.

"So don't." I said to him, arching an eyebrow, challenging him to take the first step and leaving our lie to die.

"That's not something anyone here would approve of. Heck, I'm waiting for you to realize I have nothing to give." James tells me.

This frustrates me greatly.

"You know how I feel about you James. I don't care what you have or don't have. I love you. You know this." I feel the prickly tingle behind my eyes. How could we ever fight for our love if he is so ready to give up?

"You grew up surrounded by luxury, but I can't give you that." James says.

"I never asked you for a luxurious life, James. I want a life where I can love you freely, that's all I want! I don't want to keep hiding!" I exclaim as my voice cracks.

"Well, you think I do?" James whispers yells.

"That's not what I meant and you know that," I snap. "I just think we have to find a way to let my family know about us. It's not right to sneak around like this. Talk to my dad, he will support my decision. All he wants is for me to be happy, and you are my happiness," I say as he shakes his head.

"Bella, how are you so sure he, or your family, will approve of me? As soon as they find out about us, they will strain to keep us apart!" He responds.

"So are we to hide for the rest of our lives?! I can't live like this! It's torture having to lie, especially to my dad. We have to fight James, otherwise what's the point of all of this?" I tell him defeated. This is our never ending argument. We reach an impasse and neither one of us want to bend.

"Can we not talk about this? I was actually hoping to share some news." James says annoyed. I know this pains him, and perhaps leaving it alone for now is best.

"Fine, but we have to find a way." I say as I reach out for his arm.

"I'm hoping my news can help with that," he says. I see the annoyance disappear from his gaze, and he seemed almost giddy. "I just found out about an open position in the northern part of the state. We can move there and start our new life together. No one will keeps us apart or have preconceived notions of us."

"You want us to run away?! James you know my dad is sick, I can't just disappear!" I say exasperated. "I don't want to leave my family in that manner, especially my dad. They deserve to know the truth."

"It's the only way, Bella." He insists. "Once we leave town, get settled in our new place, you can let your family know and they'll have no option but to accept us."

"James you know I would follow you until the end of the world, but not like this. Please talk to my dad. He will understand." I plead, as I let a tear shed.

"Please don't cry. I just want us to be together, but I'm so afraid to lose you once your family knows about us, Bella." James responds remorsefully.

"Let me try to talk to my dad, or my mom. If after talking to them, they seem unable to support me and our love, then I will go with you. I will go anywhere you are."