Prologue

2005- Prom night

"That..." I shivered as I stared wide eyed at the ceiling of a motel room. I had no clue what I'd been expecting, but that wasn't it.

"It..." He started, his voice cold as he lay next to me, unmoving.

We'd planned this for a while, settling all of the details before the end of our winter break. It was supposed to be perfect, mind blowing and we loved each other.

That's all you were supposed to need... Right?

Wrong.

We were so wrong. Apparently some experience should be in the hands of at least one person. It was much like baking a cake. You can't just go in knowing nothing and start mixing shit together, hoping the outcome doesn't have an explosive chemical reaction. No, there are directions, from an experienced baker. Directions that were put to use in many kitchens, tested multiple times, not just once. Those directions needed to be around the block a few times before they really knew what they were doing.

"I don't..." It was ridiculous. We'd basically thrown in a clueless baker, and directions that had watched the baking on a cooking show but hadn't actually tried it themselves. The end reaction was explosive. Not in the "call the fire station" kind of explosive, but a good, relaxing kind.

Well I guess it was supposed to be relaxing, it just hurt.

"It looks... So much better on the videos." He whispered his voice a little shaky. "Less complicated." Maybe that's because the videos turned off before pillow talk. The videos didn't ruin relationships. The actual act was much simpler in real life, aided by the mood music and lighting.

It had started off perfectly, he met me at my house told me how beautiful I was and gushed over my dark blue gown, which hugged me perfectly, might I add. He listened to my mom rant about image and being appropriate, and then we left. We went in to prom, an extremely extravagant event. Oh it was beautiful, expensive and boring as hell.

So, we dipped.

And in favor of Prom we headed to the least sketchy motel of them all. I wasn't sure, but it sure sounded like one of Edward's videos next door... Probably due to the fact that we'd seen an elderly gentleman pay a sparsely clad woman at the door when we first arrived.

I said least sketchy.

They still had to be sketchy enough to let two seventeen year olds pay and stay the night alone.

"Holy... oh yes, Papi!" That... That wasn't us. Nope, we still laid about an inch apart, because the bed didn't allow more room, staring up at the ceiling.

Not gonna lie, I was hoping that we'd sound a little like that, but nah... It was too awkward to even...

"It'd probably be best if we don't do that again." I whispered my voice thick.

"Like... Ever?" He asked incredulously. "It didn't feel bad... Weird but-" he stopped and sighed. "I'm sorry."

I wrinkled my nose, having no clue what he was sorry about. It wasn't his fault it hurt so much- well it was, if he weren't so... Generously endowed I would probably still have the ability to walk. But that wasn't really his fault that we didn't know anything. Well, he knew enough, I guess you could say. He made me... You know... Feel nice, before he ripped me in two. He just shouldn't have been sorry.

"Maybe we just need practice." He said slowly, as if to gauge my reaction.

"Uh." My heart dropped and my left hand fidgeted with the sheets. I hated this. I couldn't even attempt to be normal, or comfortable, with him after that. I did want to be honest with him though because before we went all the way, he made me feel good, special.

"It was nice... At first." I whispered, my eyes flicking around the ceiling as I worked to control my breathing.

"I heard it hurts for girls the first time." We'd already had this conversation before. Just to prep ourselves, it was days before but I knew that. And knowing didn't ease the pain at all. It hurt that much and I don't think he was all the way in. He got a few good... You know... Before he orgasmed. But he looked nervous the entire time, like he was going to hurt me, which he did.

"I tried to not... I didn't fully..." He put up a hand, waving it in the air.

"Thanks..." I whispered. I didn't know how to let him know that it wasn't bad per say, it just hurt too much to be pleasurable. That wasn't his fault either.

I heard his head move on the pillows and I immediately pulled the sheet over my chest, even though he'd seen it all before.

"I don't want things to be weird like this." He whispered, making me turn and meet his eye. He looked remorseful and I frowned, cupping his cheek and clutching the sheet.

"Me either." His arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer, making me cry out.

"I'm sorry." He gasped moving his arm away. "So... So sorry." I had a feeling he was apologizing for more than moving me too quickly. "God, babe, so sorry." I shook my head and kissed the side of his mouth.

"If it helps... I still love you." He said, sounding sad.

"More than anything." I whispered before our lips met again. The sound of clicking heels outside made me sigh, kind of glad the solicitor had moved on from the man next door.

Then the headboard next door started slamming into the wall again and an emotionless voice spoke loudly.

"What a whore." I yanked away from him at the sound of my best friend's voice.

"Here?" Another girl's voice rang out making my eyes widen as I looked over.

"You told?" I cried, moving away from him as quickly and carefully as I could.

"This is it, right?" My friend asked before there were four knocks on the door. Tears pricked at my eyes as I looked to Edward.

"Only Emmett!" He said sitting up and glaring at the door. I scrambled to the bathroom, taking the sheet with me. "Bella! He helped me-" I slammed the bathroom door shut as he ran to me.

"How could you?! We were supposed to-"

"I don't know how they found out!" He whisper-yelled, trying to contain his temper. I flipped on the bathroom lights and sat down on the tub, burying my face in my hands.

Betrayal was all I could feel.

He wasn't supposed to just be some pig. He was different... Why would he do that to me?

I gasped through my tears as I realized what hell I'd be subjected to at school. They would surely get it out and I would be extirpated. Be called a whore, easy... For the rest of my high school career.

"Let me in the damn bathroom! I didn't tell anyone but Emmett." He spoke of his brother who was in college now. The doorknob jiggled roughly and I almost expected him to barge in laughing, with Tanya and Lauren behind him, snapping pictures.

He didn't though; he came in and knelt in front of me, in his boxers.

"You said you wanted to make it special!" I cried, pushing him away. "You just used me!" I yelled before slapping him. His head snapped to the side and I gasped at myself. He cupped his cheek and glared at me.

"You don't trust me?" He sounded heartbroken but I knew it was a hoax. Just like him wanting to do it with someone he loved.

You don't do these things to the people you love.

"How can I?" The door to the room gave way apparently because a gust of cold air swirled in and footstep grew louder. I tightened the covers and he went to the door, locking it and shutting us in. His eyes locked on mine and my lip quivered as I realized how bad things were.

"Please." He begged me to accept the lie and it made me sick.

My lip curled and my hand snapped forward again, meeting his cheek.

"Fuck you, Edward Cullen."

~-~(/)~-~

Hello, and welcome to More than Anything!

I hope you all enjoyed at least a little…

I promise that the chapters are longer than this, because… this is just a prologue.

I'll try and update around every two days!

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