Disclaimer - All Characters and Copyrights belong to Stephanie Meyers.

Author's note: What if the events during Breaking Dawn had a different outcome for the Newlyweds? What if Bella still couldn't let go of Jacob?

EPOV

I am in hell.

For a 100 years, I have been stuck in a hell of my own making. I had trusted the visions of another, to guide me on my path with Bella. Alice had seemed so sure of our paths together. She had visions of Bella and myself running through the forest together as Vampires. But we both had misread the vision, and saw only what we both wanted to see. And as I replayed those images even now, as I have many times over the years, it was the finite details in the overall landscape that we both ignored. I stole her human heart, by hook or by crook, as the saying goes. I knew she had a better option than myself, but I had not found even half the joys in my own kind over the years, than I felt in just moments in her presence. We Vampires are such selfish creatures, and I refused to be unhappy anymore in my life, even at the cost of the happiness to another. Someone so beneath me, and definitely more unworthy of my beloved. Although, I knew he had a more binding claim than my own. I ignored his claim, and I never enlightened her to it either. If the fool was stupid enough to keep it to himself, who was I to make her aware of it. Of course I sometimes needed to dazzle her more often than not to keep her from enacting on those feelings. All seemed to work in my favor. We were married. She was reluctant at first. Those around us just thought it was cold feet, but I knew it was her feeling the pull towards that mutt. So, I dazzled her a little more until we were soon at the alter together. He tried one last attempt to get through to her, but before he could reveal the truth, he started to cause a scene, and his wolf brothers dragged him away. I whisked her away on our honeymoon. We tried to consummate our love and marriage, but everything we tried became too dangerous to complete with her being human. So, it was decided we would just proceed with our plans to turn her. All the plans we had in place were put into action. Charlie was informed of the accident that claimed our lives. A joint funeral was held. I was told that the Wolves and other Quileutes who attended the funeral peacefully. Although, they did glare at the family throughout the ceremony, especially Jacob Black. We were informed shortly after the service, that we had now violated the Treaty, and if we ever returned to this land, we would be destroyed. Charlie fell apart upon hearing of the death of his only daughter. The family moved away from Forks as quickly as possible.

Then the nightmare began. Bella was administered the venom into her system, and we waited. Of course Alice took this moment to play dress-me-up Bella. I noticed she was placed in the dress we had always seen in Alice's vision of Bella and myself running in the woods. I smiled at her knowingly, she smirked and left the room laughing her tinkling laugh. We didn't know that would be the last humor shared between us for quite a long time. It took five long and excruciating days. I was besides myself when she had not awoken on the third day, which was customary. Alice could not see anything to enlighten us on to when we could expect a change. When the fourth day passed, Carlisle began to research his texts for anything that might explain the issue. Then on the fifth day we heard it, the final thump of her heart. When she opened her eyes, we knew something was wrong. She stared at us all blankly, but it was the color of her eyes that confounded us. They were her normal brown eyes, with just a thin rim of red around the outside her Irises. In fact, if it weren't for our enhanced vision, we would have missed it. Her first words out of her mouth were, "Where's Jacob?" My heart crushed in my chest. She looked at us all with no recognition. Again she asked, "Where's Jake? Where am I? Was I in an accident? How did I get here?" She showed no signs of aggression that a typical newborn displays. I awkwardly stepped back, while Carlisle stepped forward. "Bella, do you not recognize us?" Bella shook her head, "No, should I?" Carlisle gave me a softened look, asking me in his head if I wanted to talk to her or let him continue. I motioned for him to continue. Carlisle sighed, unnecessarily, and spoke again, "My name is Carlisle Cullen, this is my family. My wife Esme, and our children Rose, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Edward, your husband. You are our daughter-in-law, Bella." Bella gasped, "I don't think so. Please I need to see Jake. He'll know what to do. He fixed me before." Carlisle jumped on her train of thought, "Yes, he did. To you remember WHY...he needed to fix you? What was he helping you get over?" I could tell where he was leading her. Perhaps we could re-jog her memory of us through the back door of her memories of that beast. Bella shrugged, but smiled, "Jake can fix anything. He's my best friend. Um...but I can't seem to remember what he fixed. I know it hurt me, but once we started being together, it got better. He keeps me together. So...is there a phone I could use to call him?" It was like she completely ignored the part of being married to me. I stepped forward, "Bella, my love, do you not remember me? We were married just a month ago. You were so excited to join our family, to be one of us." Bella just furrowed her eyebrows together, "I'm sorry, Edward is it? I don't remember any of that. The last thing I remember is being chased by Victoria. She was a Vam...um...she was this very stalkerish woman who was after me for some strange reason. Jake and his friends were able to get rid of her, and then...I'm sorry. But suddenly I'm feeling tired, do you mind if I close my eyes for a while?" Everyone stared at each other shocked. Carlisle stepped forward again, "Of course my dear, please feel free to rest. Just so you know, I am a doctor, so if you need anything please just shout out for me, and one of us will be right by your side." He smiled warmly at her, which she returned. "Thank you for the offer, but I just want to close my eyes for a bit," she stated. "Would you mind if I sit by you while you rest," I all but begged. Bella scrunched her face again, "While that is a lovely offer, I would rather be alone for a bit. If you don't mind. It's just this is all so overwhelming for me." I felt defeated, "Of course, my love, we will be down the hall when you wake up." It didn't miss my attention that she cringed when I called her my usual term of affection. We all quietly left the room. We went to the other side of the house to talk about what had happened. We had not even made it half way to our destination when we heard a loud noise from Bella's room. It was the sound of glass breaking. We rushed back to the room to investigate, but found no sign of her. "Damn our foolishness, we never should have trusted her calm demeanor. Hopefully we can find her, before she does any damage. We were so complacent and confused about how she was acting, we forgot to treat her like the newborn she is, instead of the human girl we knew." I raced out the window with my family behind me. We had to find her before she killed someone. Luckily we were far enough from the nearest town, expecting just this type of event to occur. I quickly caught up with her. She was fast with being a newborn, but I was still just as fast. As I raced to catch up to her, the imagery of what was occurring, was the same image I have seen before in Alice's vision. We were not some frolicking couple as the image always replayed for Alice and myself. No, we were caught in the scene of a kidnap victim fleeing from her abductor. The look in her face as she turned slightly in front of me was of fear and horror, and not of love and adoration. Alice was right alright we were both Vampires, but not a loving couple. I finally shouted to her, "Bella, please stop. There is no need to run. We only want what is best for you. Please just come back with me until we can figure out what is wrong with you." "No, please leave me alone. I just want Jake. I feel so cold, and scared. Only he can warm me up. Please I just want to go home." I hated to do it, but I leaped and tackled her. She struggled hard to escape, it was as if she was still not aware of what she was. It never even fazed her that we were running so fast. She still had not even mentioned being thirst, or the burning sensation in her throat. She just cried in my arms. Crying for Jacob Black to rescue her. The rest of my family finally caught up. They had witnessed her display live, and heard for whom she called for. They all looked at me with pity, even Rosalie looked disheartened. Her thoughts were not of sympathy for me though, it was for my wife cradled in my arms, mourning for another man.

We picked her up and brought her back to our home. We hoped she would settle down for us enough to explain some things she needed to know. That didn't happen. No, instead, everyday for the next two weeks we continued these repetitive tasks of trying to make her drop her defensive shield from us. To let us in. She just continued to refuse to engage us. What was even more shocking was her refusal to eat. We couldn't figure out what to make of this development. She should of been ravenous for blood, yet nothing. Esme even tried to place some human food in front of her, however, she refused that as well. And she slept almost as much as she was awake. Carlisle could find no other transformation similar to this one. When you talked to her, she never gave an indication that she was no longer human. She never even talked about her cold skin, or non-beating heart. Of course with her trying to escape everyday, it was hard to get her to open up. It was towards the end of the first two weeks, that we thought we had made a break thru. While she was napping, she whispered, "Edward, you need to get out of here before Charlie catches you." I was so ecstatic she finally was remembering me. The rest of the family heard her as well, and were so happy that we seemed to be making some progress. It seems like we were finally catching a break since her transformation. True it was not traditional in any way, but at least it was progress. But for every step forward we made, we were hit with a major setback. Since we knew she must be starving by now, and had expressed no normal desire for food or blood, we tried bringing the blood to her. Emmett had gone out and drained the blood from a bear. Esme had put the blood in a covered cup, and colored red straw. While Bella slept, Esme placed the cup in her room. We had actually installed a camera in her room to help us monitor her escape attempts. We saw as Bella stirred and looked around the room confused. She slowly got up and looked around the room finally settling on the dresser where Esme had placed the cup. We watched as she carefully approached the cup, and examined it. She picked it up and smelled it, then placed it down and walked away. She sat back on her bed, and continued to stare at the container. Chewing her thumb nail, she got back up, and walked back over to the dresser. I heard laughter in my head, followed then by the bellowing laugh of my ox for a brother Emmett. He chuckled, "Man even as a Vampire she's entertaining." Everyone joined him in the laughter, but no one thought about Bella's improved hearing. Her head snapped to the door, and I swore she then glared at were the camera was. She had heard what Emmett had called her. Understanding and confusion crossed her face at the same time. Her eyes darted to the window, and then back to the door, then back to the container. She picked it up and slowly drank from it. We all eased our stances a little. She seemed to finish the container, then gently placed it back on the dresser. She walked calmly towards her bed and laid down again. We all relaxed, she seemed to be heading back to bed oblivious to what Emmett divulged. Perhaps she didn't make the connection as it seemed. The next thing we knew, something knocked the signal off the camera. I sighed, and quickly dashed to Bella's room. There on the floor surrounding her hair brush, were pieces of the camera. Bella was nowhere to be seen. It was getting harder and harder to track her down from these escapes, for some reason she was able to hide her scent. We were only able to find her once she made a hard decision on her path, and Alice could then get a vision of where she was going. Today would be no different, except it was not her making a decision that allowed us to find her. The truth is we found her passed out not a mile from our home. We could not stir her from her sleep, so we returned home with her yet again. She awoke several hours later, and the first things she said to us was, "Where's Jake? Where am I? Was I in an accident? How did I get here?"

I sighed, "Bella we've explained this to you before, he's not here." Bella looked confused, "Who are you? Why am I here being held against my will? What do you want with me? Please just let me go home." I was starting to get frustrated. Carlisle apparently had a different thought. He calmly asked, "Bella, my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, and this is my family. Do you remember ever meeting us before? What can you tell us about the last thing you remember?" Bella looked panicked again, "No, I'm afraid I don't know any of you. To answer your other question, the last thing I remember is being chased by Victoria. She was a Vam...um...she was this very stalkerish woman who was after me for some strange reason. Jake and his friends were able to get rid of her, and then...I'm sorry. But suddenly I'm feeling tired, do you mind if I close my eyes again for a while?" Carlisle told her it was perfectly alright for her to rest, and we would be outside if needed. Jasper had already replaced the camera in her room. We all gathered once again perplexed by this latest development. Emmett stated, "It's as if someone hit the reset button on her. It's as she's back to factory settings, like a new cell phone. How could of this have happened? I smelt no one else if the area, did any of you?" Everyone shook their heads in agreement. I asked Carlisle, "I know amnesia works on people different ways, but this seems ridiculous. Do you think she is faking it? Don't get me wrong, I have not been happy about any of this since her transformation, but this seems almost to comical. Please tell me I am wrong or being paranoid here. I need some answers Carlisle." My father looked me in the eye and replied, "Edward I have absolutely no answers for you. Nothing about this transformation has been close to typical as you know. The nearest example we might reference is Alice, who has absolutely to human memories after her transformation. But we know that was as a result of being in a sensory deprived environment before she was changed. Bella had none of this happen to her. You were both naturally in love with each other. She might of had some feelings for Jacob Black, but hardly anything to explain her severe attachment to him, and total lack of memory of you or the rest of the family. I mean she was your mate correct? Both you and Alice assured us of this. Hence why we broke our Treaty with the wolves to turn her." Alice spoke up right away, "Carlisle I can only tell you what I saw. And that was that Bella Swan would become a Vampire. I didn't make that up." "I agree with Alice, Carlisle. I have always felt the pull to her as my singer. You confirmed that's why I was so drawn to her," I added in. Although he was just speculating at the time it's meaning, as he himself had never met his singer. Only Emmett had ever met his, however, he had met two people who were his singers. If that was true, then there was no way, that he could of had more than two possible mates, for at the time he already had Rosalie. I brushed these thoughts out of his head, I didn't need to feel guilty over my choices, she was still mine. Carlisle resumed, "I just don't know then Edward, the only thing that has changed over the last two weeks was we finally got her to take in some sustenances. I know she used to have an aversion to blood, that it would make her faint. Maybe that is a factor in this all?" "Perhaps the blood was tainted some how," Esme mused. No one had a better explanation. So we were forced to put up with a repeat of the last few weeks with Bella. And once again when we finally got her broken down enough to finally drink the blood, she again passed out. Once again, when she awoke, the first things she said to us was, "Where's Jake? Where am I? Was I in an accident? How did I get here?"

Once we had calmed her down again, we left her to the camera to monitor her. "I don't know how much longer I can stand of this Edward," Rosalie said as she threw her arms up in the arm. "Nothing about this has been normal, and I don't think anything logical could ever explain this. Since that girl has walked into our lives, it is as if we've been cursed. I knew she couldn't have been right in the mind to ever want this life, but this just confirms everything to me. This is no life for her, or for us. The kindest thing we could do is to end her ourselves." Everyone gasped at Rosalie. I snarled and leapt from my chair ready to attack, except my brothers held me down. "Edward she is afraid of us, and doesn't trust us. We can't contain her 24/7. We weren't living before, and now our miserable lives will become even more sad. Eternally stuck to watch her continuously stuck in "Reset" mode. Please what would you have us do?" I calmed down, but had no real answer for her.

And so for the last 100 years, we have been stuck replaying the same scenario over and over again. Every time she drinks blood, her mind shuts down, and she forgets anything that has occurred between the last instance. Sometime the periods last longer if we deprive her of sustenances. We even see some slight recognition, but then we are forced to provide her animal blood. She wouldn't even touch the human kind. And no matter what animal we tried - reset. We have tried everything, and nothing seems to help my Bella get any better. We had exhausted all avenues that were open to us. Well as open as they could be to creatures of the Supernatural world. We became so desperate we even went to the Volturi for help. However, none of them had ever seen anything like this as well. Aro was so desperate to make her one of us at one time. He coveted her power even as a human. Bella had power all right. Shortly after she was changed, we soon discovered the reason why no one could reach her mind. We had brought her to stay with our family in Denali, and it was there that Eleazar had sensed that she was a shield of the mind, but also a shield of the physical world as well. It would explain why we had such issues with her up until now. Over the years, those powers began to grow. We however, did not know how she controlled them. The Volturi too had even offered to destroy her for us, if we did not have the stomach for it. Aro had given up his attempts to acquire my love. She couldn't be controlled enough for him to make it worth his time. Her abilities prevented anyone from being able to stop or cure her, or for that matter, destroy her. Her mind shield prevented anyone from breaching her mind, and her physical shield stopped anyone from destroying her physically. As long as we kept her contained, we would not be punished in her stead. We left Volterra defeated. Of course I brought her into this world, and I still love her, so I have remained by her side even when she does not recognize me. She is only ever focused on two things, escape and getting back to him.

I am in hell, and I know I deserve it.