Chapter 1

I've been meaning to tell you

I've got this feelin' that won't subside

I look at you and I fantasize

You're mine and tonight

Now I've got you in my sights

With these hungry eyes

One look at you and I can't disguise

I've got hungry eyes

I feel the magic between you and I

...

..

..

"So, Alex, have you seen the new guy?"

I'm opening my locker, knowing exactly who my friend Brianna is referring to, and already feeling irritated by the mere mention of him. The whole school was in a frenzy about this Billy guy that arrived a few weeks ago. Tight-jeaned, hot-assed, blonde, mullet-ed, pierced, Californian,leather-and-jeans, absolutely insane Billy. The guy was a narcissistic bully. A powerful presence for sure. I mean, you couldn't not notice him. But his cocky energy and the fervor surrounding him was a huge turn off in my eyes .

"I don't live under a rock, Bri. But honestly...why do people care? I'm sick of him already. Guy's a scumbag" I rustle through my locker and grab my History textbook.

Brianna leans against the locker next to me and smacks her bubblegum. "A hot scumbag…"

She wiggles her eyebrows.

"Probably won't be so hot once he gives you a black eye." I shut my locker door with force.

Brianna smirks. "He's not that bad."

"The guy is serial killer material. He gives me the creeps." I look around, making sure that Billy isn't in the hall.

"You're exaggerating! He's just trying to prove himself y'know? Guys are different…" She leans in close to me, "Plus apparently he has….a way with the ladies if you know what I mean."

I roll my eyes. "Oh my god. He's only been here for two weeks. Don't tell me he's slept with the cheerleading squad already…"

"Two girls on the squad.." She says. I was only joking, but I'm not completely surprised at her response.

"Well, he's good, I'll give him that." We start walking to our last class of the day. "Did you have to talk about his sexual prowess right before we're about to be in the same class with the guy? Awkward.."

"You're gonna see him pretty much every day anyways. Why do you care? Does he spark a flame in you after all?", she teases.

"A flame of pure hatred, maybe."

"Hmm...hate and love aren't so far apart." I refuse to respond to this.

We stop in the hallway in front of the History room. One by one students move past us to get into class. There's only a few minutes left till the bell rings, and for some godforsaken reason I actually want to keep talking about Billy the Bully. "What do you think of him, Bri?" I'm genuinely interested.

"I wouldn't turn him down, that's for sure. He's obviously not boyfriend material but he looks like a good time, right?" I'm a little shocked as Bri's type is usually quite wholesome.

"Who are you?"

"What? You can't deny he's sexy." She gives me a coy look.

"Yes I can! He tries way too hard.. It's not natural. He wants you to think he's hot. It's gross. I don't know how everyone can't see how contrived he is."

Bri grins. "Resistance is a common reaction to what one does not understand."

"What? What don't I understand?

"Sex. Hot sex."

I smack her lightly with my textbook, deeply annoyed. "Like, you do?"

With that note I look up and lo and behold, who would be strutting down the hall towards us but the exact object of our desire and hate? Billy Hargrove. He's all magnetism and allure, wearing tight jean on jean from top to bottom. His eyes are piercingly feral,looking like he's about to either punch or fuck somebody. What's startling is that for the first time ever he makes eye contact with me, and I do feel somewhat dazzled. Those eyes? Dreamy. Animalistic. Heated. My automatic reaction completely catches me off guard. Every romantic cliche known to man about a lovers gaze spins through my consciousness. What's more disturbing is that his gaze is lingering on me. Then something even more unexpected happens.

Billy fucking winks at me.

I'm stunned. Did that just happen? Did I just imagine that? The whole experience was like some sort of slow-motion scene in a teen movie. Were we talking too much about his sex appeal and then I just interpreted everything through that lens? His gaze was off of me as quickly as it was on and he shoves past another student to get into the classroom,almost knocking the poor guy off his feet. Charming.

"Oh my god. Alex!" My friend fiercely whispers while shaking my shoulder. "Did you see that?"

"I'm not sure that anything happened..." I say quietly. My body feels very weak. I suddenly want to go home.

"Yes. Yes it did." My friend giggles wildly. "Wow, you lucky bitch. You know, I was about to tell you, you're looking good today."

I am completely mortified. Billy shouldn't be winking at me. I'm definitely not the type to be winked at. Especially by someone like him. Also, why do I care? I've been hit on before. Why is this so different? The school bell rings then, signalling class has started.

"Alex, you okay? We should probably go in now."

"Shit…" The thought of seeing Billy again sends me spiralling into extreme anxiety.

My friend is enjoying the hell out of this. "I thought you were above that serial-killer-material scumbag." She starts moving me towards the room."You'll be fine. Maybe he just had something in his eye."

I stumble into the doorway and realize immediately that there are only two seats available. One in the front of the classroom, and one near the back directly in front of Billy. Bri nearly trips over herself to grab the seat at the front, barely suppressing her laughter as she looks back at me mischievously.

As I stand paralyzed in the doorway, most of the room is staring at me and I know I must look pretty odd. I'm just standing there, eyes scanning the room like a traumatized, shaking rabbit, when there's obviously only one seat to take. Yet, the thought of sitting in front of Billy has me nearly hyperventilating. What is wrong with me? Billy's looking at me now, absolutely gloating.

"Ms. Reine, I know you're overwhelmed with choices, but would you please come to a decision? We can't loiter all day." Mr. Harlston's droning nasal voice shatters my paralysis. I take a deep breath and walk stiffly towards the desk in front of Billy,knowing my face is beet red, trying very hard not to look at him. I sit down, and can feel his eyes on me. The rest of the students look away and focus on the teacher who goes into a spiel about The Vietnam War, but Billy's gaze is a red hot lazer travelling down my spine. Or maybe I'm just going crazy. Should I turn around and check? No, no..way too obvious.

This is just weird. We've taken this class together for 2 weeks. I didn't care about him at all yesterday. Or at least I only cared enough to loathe him. But that whole conversation leading up to him actually looking at me for the first time, and winking at me? Has anyone but a lecherous old man ever winked at me? Also, I never actually looked directly into his eyes before. Suddenly the whole game has changed. Now I feel like dying and can't focus on one word Mr. Harlston is saying.

I manage to make it halfway through the class without turning to look at Billy, or in any other way embarrassing myself.I mean, I'm still completely unable to concentrate but am feeling much better.. It was just a slight mishap. Nothing to freak out about. You'll forget about this by tomorrow. Periodically, Bri looks back at me beaming like a cheshire cat while I shoot her faces of annoyance.

As my mind drifts back to the heart-stopping look that Billy gave me, there's a gentle tap on my shoulder. My head practically spins off my neck to look behind me, and there's no hiding the absolute panic on my face. Billy looks like a lusty metal-head fertility god, though I'm unable to make eye contact with him for more than a millisecond at a time. My heart is beating wildly. Grinning at me knowingly,he leans forward, and passes me a folded piece of paper. I look to see what the teacher is doing, but his back is to us as he writes down dates on the board. I look down at the paper in Billy's hand dumbly.

"Take the damn note." Billy whispers slowly, his expression a disconcerting mix of grace and menace. Turning red yet again, I awkwardly snatch the paper out of his hand and turn back around a bit too quickly. . I can practically hear Billy laughing at me in his head. I get a strong sense that he gets off on my embarrassment. Maybe this is a strange power trip. Or maybe it's just a damn note and I'm overthinking. I'm always overthinking.

I put the note down in my textbook, glancing up at the teacher, making sure no one's looking. With slightly shaking fingers I open the note. I'm at first surprised to see that he has rather good penmanship, but then I read the words.

You're cute when you blush.

I actually gasp a bit under my breath. Heat rises in my body like wildfire. Now i definitely can't ever turn around ever again.

A confusing emotional cocktail of flattery, self deprecation, and anger hit me. Fuck him. This is just a power play and I don't mean shit to him. He's playing a game. and I won't let him win. This thought is as sad as it is comforting. But it's just the thought I need to crumple up the piece of paper in my hand, reach behind me and place it back on his desk.

I still don't have the guts to looks at him, but I'm pretty sure I made my point obvious. Good, now he can fuck off and we can pretend this never happened. I breathe deeply. I feel the heat in my face subside as I try to mentally take my power back. I'm here to go to school and get into a good college. I don't care about assholes like Billy. Focus. On. The lesson.

I am completely unable to focus on the lesson.

A few minutes later, there's another slightly more insistent tap on my shoulder. I feel an electricity in my body. I can't deny the effect he's having on me. I feel like a hormonal..teenager. Damn, I am an absolute cliche today.

I look behind again, and he's holding a note between two fingers and then motioning on the side of the desk to hand it to me. This time, a bit more confident, I roll my eyes. This makes only makes him grin more. Feeling on edge, I grab the note, and this time our hands touch. I'm positive Billy intended for this to happen. I'm positive that my face will never be a normal color again. Get your shit together, Alex.

Breathing deeply and looking around again to make sure no one's watching, I open the note.

I could make you blush again later...in my car.

I'm stunned. My face is burning as I keep staring at the blue ink waiting for this all to make sense. I'm not an idiot, I know what he's implying. I'm deeply flattered and also quickly understand how he's already slept with two cheerleaders since he got here. The guy's a predator.

I'm also powerfully aware that a primal part of me really, really wants Billy to make me blush in his car.

Where is this coming from? Did I switch personalities today? Is Billy Hargrove a sex wizard that emits an irresistible pheromone? I'm a practical person. I can see through people's bullshit. I'm seeing through Billy's bullshit even right now...but there's something that's taking over. Something frighteningly wild. Lust.

Also, there's another thing. Something just as dangerous. Curiosity.

I start to have vivid flashbacks of all the "bad" things that have happened based on my curiosity. The night where I snuck out my bedroom window to drunkenly fool around with Ron Gilepsie in a field. Breaking into an abandoned building with people I barely knew. Looking through diaries that contained information I would be better off not knowing. The list of transgressions was extensive. Curiosity might be my most alarming quality. I told myself this year that I was going to stop ending up in fucked up situations like this.

No, there's no way. I'm going to get through this class, completely ignore this whole drama, then go home and study.

Or I could have animalistic sex with Billy Hargrove in the back of his Camaro.

I nearly burst out laughing at the thought.

But ...I am curious.

The paper is in my hand. I flip it over onto it's other side, smoothing it flat. Maybe I can please both sides of myself. The studious good girl and the reckless, hormonal teenager. Yeah, that's it. Let's think holistically.

My pen scrawls tentatively on the notepaper. I can hear my heart beat in my ears as I write something that pushes my own boundaries.

Show me you're worth it and I might.

I slip the paper behind me, quickly glancing backwards. He looks so pleased. As though he knew this whole interaction was a long shot and he too was just curious. He takes the paper, managing to caress my fingers once more.

A minute later, he taps my shoulder and the paper is in my hand again. I feel a bit giddy now.

I'd be happy to give you a physical demonstration. Meet me in the parking lot.

What the fuck..This was moving very fast. Then again, it's Billy. I should have seen this coming. I slide the note into my pocket, and tell myself that this doesn't mean I have to do anything. No, this was way too much, even for the wild side that had started to emerge in me.

But what if I didn't have another chance? What if this was Billy's final offer and then he would cruise onto his next victim if I turned him down? Why does it feel so bad to not be his victim?

With that thought the last bell rings. I start to slowly pack my things in a daze. I look behind me.

Billy's already gone.