Title: Mommy Dearest
Author: DarkDreamer56
Archive: If you want it, ask please!
Rating: T
Pairing: N/S
Disclaimer: Trust me, if I owned CSI, this weeks episode would never have happened…
Spoilers: none that Ican think of

A/N: Well, this week has really sucked. My cat died, we had Inventory at work, and now this craptastic GSR stuff that they are trying to shove down our throats. I apologize to those multi-shippers reading this, but it's just too much for me. All of this supposed chemistry seemed manufactured by long camera gazes and over the top, anvil like remarks. And I miss my cat. So I wrote this to cheer myself up. It's not necessarily a continuation of "Checking In," but I guess it could be.

The door shut behind Sara softly. It had been a long shift, and a rough case. She dropped her bag and her coat onto a nearby chair as she made her way through the living room. Fortunately, the sight meeting her was just the one she needed to see.

Nick was sprawled out on the couch fast asleep with one leg dangling off the side. He had been watching the Rangers game before he fell asleep; it was playing softly in the background. The only thing covering his chest was their four month old son, also sleeping peacefully. He had the baby cradled securely to his chest, and Sara couldn't help but smile at her happy little family.

Not wanting to disturb them, she quietly made her way back to their bedroom to grab her pajamas and then headed into the bathroom for a long, hot shower. It hadn't been the most gruesome scene, physically, that she had ever processed, but the emotional implications of the case were definitely going to stick with her for awhile. Her tears began to pour along with the water from the shower nozzle, and despite the fact that she was home with her two favorite guys in the world, she couldn't help but sniffle through her entire shower.

She emerged from the bathroom awhile later, towel drying her hair and hoping she could explain away the red rimmed eyes if Nick asked, which of course he would.

The tv had been turned off and Nick was awake now, pulling himself up into a sitting position to allow Sara to sink down next to him. She threw the towel from her hair onto the floor next to the couch, and curled up next to Nick, laying her head on his shoulder.

"How is he?" Sara sighed, snuggling closer to Nick and unable to resist the urge to reach out and softly stroke Nicky's pudgy leg as it lay across Nick's lap.

"Well, apparently we had a better day than you, sugar. I wondered how many shifts you were gonna work through…we went for a walk, grocery shopping. He's trying real hard to roll over, but we're not quite there yet. Warrick stopped by for a little to watch the game, but our little guy here fell asleep during the first inning. He should be hungry pretty soon though." Nick slid his arm around Sara's shoulders, trailing his fingers up and down her shoulder. "I'll go put him down, and then…"

"No," Sara announced suddenly, reaching for Nicky. "I want to hold him for awhile. Besides, like you said, he'll need to be fed in a little while."

Nick knew better than to argue with Sara when she was like that, and he handed the baby over to his wife. She settled Nicky in her arms, cradling him to her chest after leaning down to kiss the top of his head and inhaled that unique baby scent that had become one of her most successful calming techniques in the past four months.

Her head fell back against Nick's shoulder, and she couldn't help but sigh as he started to stroke her hair.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Sara sighed again. "Later." Right now, all she wanted was to feel her baby in her arms, and her husband against her side. Nick let the subject drop, and instead pressed a kiss to her temple.

They sat in silence until Nicky began to fuss, awakening for his next feeding. Sara unbuttoned the pajama top she had filched from Nick to make nursing in the middle of the night easier once Nicky had been born, and she expertly situated the baby for his feeding.

"We got called to this scene, me and Greg…two kids, dead in the little girl's bed, the mother was too hysterical to give a coherent account of what happened…they were just tucked in, curled up against each other." Sara could feel her voice wobble, and she struggled to hold in her tears. She had worked scenes with kids several times since Nicky's birth, but this one had affected her in a way that the previous cases never had. She trailed a finger down Nicky's cheek as Nick pulled her closer, wondering not for the first time, how something so horrible could happen to such an innocent little person. "There was no blood…no wounds, no visible cause of death. Greg and I processed for hours, but we couldn't come up with any definitive evidence. The little girl was five, and her brother was barely a year." Nick kissed the top of her head, urging her to continue. "Doc Robbins had them posted by the time we got back to the lab…they both had fatal amounts of Zolpidem in their systems. Brass confronted the mother, and she just broke…turns out her ex husband was fighting her for custody. He's a cokehead, a gambler…but she thought that the family court judge was leaning his way, so she decided that she'd rather…kill her children than to hand over custody to him. Nick, it was just awful."

Sara choked on a sob as she clutched the baby to her chest, trying to stay in control. She hadn't been able to get those too sweet faces out of her mind the entire night, nor the look on their mother's face as she admitted what she had done.

"Oh Sar…" Nick murmured, but she had already buried her face in his shoulder, tears pouring out onto his bare skin. It was until Nicky began to cry, upset that his feeding was being disturbed, that Sara finally picked her head up.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Mama's sorry," Sara tried to soothe through her tears. She sniffled and readjusted Nicky in her arms.

"Sweetheart, I can just get a bottle." Sara shook her head, satisfied when the baby latched back on and continued to nurse.

"Do you have a burp rag out here anywhere?" Sara asked quietly a few minutes later.

"I'll grab a clean one." Nick kissed her temple again and disentangled himself from Sara before heading back towards the nursery.

Sara took a few deep breaths to calm herself, finally succeeding by the time Nicky was full. When Nick returned, cloth in hand and changed into a pair of boxers and a teeshirt, she silently took the rag and switched Nicky to her shoulder. When he was ready, she slid off the couch onto the floor and placed him on his back on one of his blankets in front of the couch. She waved a colorful rattle in front of his face a few times before handing it to him. Normally, they didn't encourage him to play that late at night; despite the fact that they both worked graveyard, she and Nick tried to keep him on a normal sleep schedule despite the exhaustion it meant for them, but she wasn't quite ready to put him down yet.

Nick settled on the floor next to her, pulling her close as she buttoned her top. She leaned against him, listening to Nicky babble happily on his blanket while trying to shove one of his rattles into his mouth.

"I don't understand, how you get to that place, how you could look at their faces…" Sara trailed off, not wanting to really finish her thought, but needing to express it anyways.

Nick sighed. "I don't understand it either sweetheart. I look at him, and I can't imagine ever doing anything to hurt him…"

"And she thought she was helping them…she thought she was protecting them. She could've sent them somewhere, she could have taken off with them…" Sara shook her head, not wanting to think about it anymore, and turned her attention back to Nicky. "Come on buddy…roll over for mama." Nicky smiled up at her, but continued to play with the rattle.

Nick's hand drifted down to the small of Sara's back, rubbing small circles before applying more pressure in small increments. Sara sighed in contentment.

"I remember when you were pregnant, this was one of the few things that could actually relax you," Nick murmured, increasing pressure once again.

"Hmmm…still does." Sara's eyes had fallen closed since she was certain Nick was also keeping an eye on the baby, and she felt the horrors of the case finally starting to fade as she concentrated on her proximity to Nick and he continued to move his fingers.

"I think I might have something else that might help." Sara felt Nick shift slightly, and the place something in her hand. When she opened her eyes, she was staring down at a small white rectangular box. When she looked up at him with a confused expression, he offered an explanation. "I know Mother's Day isn't until next week, but I thought maybe you could use this now. Open it." A smile spread across his face, and she could see that he was eager for her to discover what was inside.

Sara carefully pulled off the top, gasping as it revealed a stunning diamond and garnet pendant on a delicate silver chain. "Oh Nick…"

"I thought the diamond looked kind of like the one in your engagement ring, and then the garnet for Nicky's birthstone."

Sara marveled at her first Mother's Day present, feeling herself tear up again, though this time they were happy tears. "I love it Nick, but really it's…"

"Hey," Nick said firmly, "don't you dare say it's too much." He glanced over to make sure Nicky wasn't going anywhere before he turned his gaze back to Sara, who was hastily wiping away a stray tear. "You know, I was having a little talk with our son last week, and we decided that we needed to get you something real special for your first Mother's Day." Sara couldn't help but smile; she and Nick had tried their best to refrain from deteriorating to complete gibberish whenever they were talking to Nicky, but Sara especially loved the way that Nick conducted complete, adult conversations with the Nicky while giving him a bath or making dinner. "Sara, you're a great mother, I know you weren't too sure about things those first couple weeks, but he's just so lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you…we both love you so much."

Sara beamed back at him through watery eyes, not trusting her voice to work sufficiently enough to convey what she felt, so instead she leaned up and pressed her lips softly to Nick's. When she finally pulled away, she was able to whisper, "I love you too…I love you both more than anything."

Nick peppered the top of her head with kisses as she snuggled closer to him and turned her attention back to Nicky, who had dropped his rattle and now seemed restless. She watched him for several minutes, and was about to reach out and pick him up, when he did something that caused her second gasp in ten minutes.

"Did you see that? Oh my god Nick, did you see that? He rolled over!" she squealed, reaching for Nicky and planting a few sloppy kissed on his cheek before holding him up in front of her, resting his feet on top of her thighs and bouncing him a few times. "Such a big boy, you rolled over for mama and daddy."

Nick just laughed. "Man, I've been trying to get him to do that for days, and no. But as soon as mommy comes home…" he teased, reaching his hand over and affectionately running it over his son's head.

Sara glanced back and forth between her son and her husband, finally letting go of her rough night. She had all that she needed sitting right there with her, and she wouldn't give them up for anything in the world.

FIN.

A/N: So it starts off pretty angsty, which didn't quite help with the cheering up, but the fluff does eventually come out in the end. I don't know what this baby obsession is that I have, but I haven't been able to let go of it for the past couple stories. I've got a couple days off work, so I'm hoping to finish up some other stuff, but today's my birthday, and I'm going out with some friends, so I won't have anything posted until probably Monday.