Blind
Author's Note: This is my first ever Harry Potter fic never mind Draco/Harry fic. Draco/Harry are my ultimate favourite pairing, I never stop thinking about them. The reason it took me all this time to pluck up the courage to start writing about them was because I love them so much so I wanted the perfect idea for them but also because I have never thought about writing slash before so I have no experience in writing slash at all so I apologise in advice if this isn't as good as you expected.. I hope you enjoy reading this as much I enjoy writing it.
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Warnings: M rated. Please do not read if you can't take detailed sexual activity. LEMONS. This version excludes Dumbledore's death and Horcruxes.
SYNOPSIS: Over the summer, both Harry and Draco changed and is it for good or for worse? When they go back to Hogwarts, They both realise something different about each other. Harry is desperate to know what has changed. Draco acting like his normal self ignores Harry even though he secretly wants to know the difference of Harry. Now in their last year of Hogwarts, they see each other regularly and find it hard not to notice each other. What happens when secrets get spilled out and when trouble spurs up?
Big thank you to my wonderful beta - Half-Tongue - Becca.
Disclaimer: All these characters belong to JK Rowling. Oh how I am jealous of her.
-Blind-
The new autumn breeze was strong, making Harry's hair whip about his head. It didn't matter much, however, since Harry's hair already had a mind of its own and was messy all the time. The sudden rush of cold reminded Harry that he had taken the summer for granted. Now summer was at his fingertips, slowly slipping away into fall. His hand went slowly to his scar which hadn't hurt the entire summer. He didn't feel relieved as he probably should, but couldn't help but feel anxious. Where was Voldemort? Was he planning something again for this year and would it involve Harry yet again? Harry couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding. The atmosphere around him seemed tense and he couldn't help but feel that the tentative peace he experienced over the summer and the gentle fall that greeted him at Hogwarts would soon be destroyed.
Though Harry would normally have been excited to go back to Hogwarts—which he considered his true home—he was not this year. It was his last year at Hogwarts and he realized that not only would he be leaving the safety and support of Hogwarts but he would also have to find a way to kill Voldemort himself—most likely without the help of his best friends. Harry had recently discovered something about himself. Or, more accurately, he had finally come to terms with a part of him that he had long ago locked away because he was too busy with Voldemort and too afraid of rejection to face it. Now that he knew he still had many questions that filled his head. Harry hadn't even talked to Ron and Hermione about it, but he had promised to tell them what had been bothering him today.
Harry's seventeenth birthday was fast approaching and the raven-haired boy did not look forward to it. It meant he was another year away from the blissful innocence of his childhood and closer to holding the fate of the world in his hands. What was there to celebrate? But of course his stay at the cosy Weasley home meant that they would throw him a celebration. They would try to surprise him and lavish him with gifts and food despite their hard-earned income and Harry would have to pretend to be happy. Harry loved the Weasleys, but they could be overwhelming to someone who was used to being alone.
A drop of rain splashed on his glasses. Harry looked up and saw that it was getting darker – darker than normal. He took of his slightly bent glasses and wiped the lenses with the end of his darkened sleeve. He could tell where it had been stitched back up with love. It had ripped when Harry, Ronald and the twins were playing a competitive game of Qudditch and Mrs. Weasley fixed it for him. He replaced his glasses back on his slightly crooked nose (never quite fixed from where Draco had stomped on it on the train at Hogwarts last year) and breathed in what was going to be one of his last breath of summer air before winter arrives.
Ginny's steps behind him pulled Harry from his musings. She stood next to him and put her hand out to join his. Harry's shivered inside. Ginny didn't repulse him but he just didn't like touching her anymore. However, he took her invitation and held her hand in his.
Ginny snuggled up closer to him. "Why are you standing out here alone, Harry? It's getting cold." Her warms breaths caused thin puffs of fog in the cool air. She squeezed his hand.
Harry kept his eyes on the sun as it slowly burned out on the horizon. "I like the peace and quiet, Ginny." He said, hoping she would take the hint. He knew he was being snappish—she was only trying to comfort him and be with him. But he wasn't ready to be pulled away from his brooding and Ginny's talking seemed to break the tranquillity of the land around him.
Ginny noticed the sharpness in Harry's voice. "Oh, I see." She mumbled with a hint of confusion. "You could have told me where you were going. I was worried something happened to you." Ginny was sincerely worried about the boy she loved. If anything happened to him, she did not know what she would have done. Harry was her prize. Her possession and if she lost him, she would have gone crazy. She loved him with all her heart even though she knew the feeling was not mutual.
"What did you think would have happened? Someone would have come here and took me away to Voldemort? No! That Voldemort would come here and kill me? I'm not that stupid Ginny! I know not to go too far from the house." Harry snapped harshly, so sick of being treated like an idiot and a child.
Ginny let go of Harry's hand and kept her eyes averted down at newly cut lawn and a tingling of guilt ran through him.
"I'm sorry Ginny. I should not have shouted at you." The boy turned his head towards her. He swallowed his urge to walk away and instead put his fingers under her small, trembling chin. He turned her head against her will to meet his eyes and he smiled softy at her.
Ginny tried to smile back at him with glittering eyes where just a moment ago a tear had begun to grow. Harry had been acting like this towards her all summer and she knew there was a reason why but she just did not want to admit it as it was slowly breaking her heart. Ginny knew it was wrong to try and force Harry to love her back the same intense way she loved him but she couldn't stop herself even if she tried. There was just an aching hole in her heart.
Ginny gently whispered "I understand, I forgive you." She cupped Harry's face in her petite hands; she thought his perfect face fit just right in her palms like they were meant to be.
Harry saw her hands move to his face and as much as he wanted to move before they reached there but he simply couldn't. It was like his feet were glued to the grass.
"Erm…" Just for show, the raven-haired boy's body began to move. He appeared to be shivering but to Ginny, she knew he wanted to delay getting close to the girl "Oh it's getting a bit chilly, do you think we should go inside?"
Harry dropped his hands from underneath her perfectly shaped chin to his sides and Ginny mirrored him but she did it gracefully compared to the boy. This was one thing Harry saw in her, her grace. Everything she did was such beauty, the way she walked, the way she twisted her hair around her finger and defiantly the way she talked. Even though Ginny grew up being the only girl with six brothers, she was unaffected by the domination of men. Her grace was what Harry used to like and now just admired.
Ginny looked behind them to the Weasley house. She missed the old house and wished it never had been burnt to ashes. She never feels the love and care she had felt in the other house and she knew everyone felt like that.
Harry followed her eyes and could see in hers and the rest of the Weasleys that they missed their old home and Harry felt the weight of guilt settle heavier in his stomach. It was his fault the Weasleys had lost their home. If he hadn't been so stuck revenge against Bellatrix, just maybe the house of his friends would still be standing. He had known she was taunting him but he had taken the bait anyway.
Ginny began to walk back to the house but turned around when she noticed Harry wasn't following her. "Are you coming in Harry?" She asked curiously. After all he was the one who was chilled.
Once again Harry clawed his way out of his musings and walked to Ginny's side. She put her damp, soft hand in his—a feeling he didn't particularly like or want.
"Yes, let's go in." Harry said with a sigh though he didn't feel like returning indoors.
The next morning Harry was awoken by the sound of Ron's snoring. It was early, maybe about six in the morning. The new sun peeked in from behind the old curtains into Harry's eyes. Today was the day he didn't want to come. The day he was regretting.
"Happy Birthday to me." Harry whispered softly. Ron stirred which caused Harry to freeze. He didn't want to wake Ron and start this birthday fiasco any earlier than it had to. Harry just wanted a quiet birthday and to go on like it was any other normal day.
Harry turned over to face the beige wall and dozed lightly. A sound startled him awake to see that he was surrounded by all of his friends.
Harry propped his body on his left hand and leaned back, fumbling for his glasses. As soon as everything came in to focus, the raven-haired boy groaned and plunged himself back down on the bed.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY!" Hermoine and Ron shouted while Ginny said it more quietly. Ginny had perceived that Harry didn't want a lot of attention for this particular birthday.
Hermione was so full of delight that the smile on her face couldn't get any bigger. Ron had the largest grin on his face.
"Happy Birthday, mate! Come on, get up!" Ron said while Hermione shook him.
Harry laughed while trying to get out of bed. In the corner of his eye, he could see Ginny standing out of the way and he couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of guilt. He decided not to address the issue now and smiled up at the tallest of them.
"I'm up!" He stated while laughing. He yawned like he had never before making Hermione laugh. Harry began to wonder why he had been so against this day because so far it was the best he'd felt in a while.
Harry put on his tatty slippers and glanced up to his friends. Ron and Hermione knew it was time for them to leave him alone a moment. However Ginny … didn't.
Ron and Hermione walked closely together to the door smiling at Harry as they stepped out of the room – leaving Harry alone with her, alone with untrue love.
The red-headed girl had not moved at all since the boy awoke and just stared at him. Harry was certain that he could see a glint of lust in her eyes. Harry sat frozen like an ice sculpture, wanting to melt away.
The girl began to walk towards Harry, taking small steps at first.
"Happy Birthday, Harry." She whispered to him, smiling softly. "I'm sorry about my stupid brother and Hermione. I told them that you would rather it be a quiet day but you know them, they wouldn't listen to me. No one listens to me anyway—only you, Harry." Harry couldn't seem to return her smile.
"Oh it's okay, Ginny. I don't mind as long as that's the only excitement today." He chuckled nervously, looking away from her.
There was a noise of springs as the bed dipped next to him. His head whipped around and almost hit Ginny who was leaning so close they could feel each other's breaths on their lips. Ginny's breath forced Harry's hairs on his neck stand up though not in a good way.
"Ginny," Harry cleared his throat. "What are you doing here? I'm trying to change."
Harry jumped slightly when the redhead joined hands with him. "I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to you … privately." She whispered throatily.
"Oh, well, how nice of you." Harry leaned forward for a friendly hug. Ginny, however, thought Harry was making a move for something else and Ginny felt her heart flutter like it used to before Harry started to change—before he wasn't afraid to hold hands or to get intimate with her.
Hopeful, Ginny took the chance and went in for the kiss. Harry was shocked when he felt Ginny's hand locked in strands of his untamed hair. Her free arm was wrapped tightly around the boy's neck. Harry's eyes were wide open, and he struggled to get away from Ginny's tight grasp. Ginny's breaths against his lips were jagged and her hand was slowly crawling up under Harry's pyjama shirt. Harry shuddered and leaped away from Ginny, leaving her stunned and off-balance.
"Wh-what's wrong, Harry?" She whimpered, her eyes wide. Ginny wanted to cry her eyes out but knew she had to keep her image strong in front of Harry.
Harry leapt to his feet, grasping at straws for an explanation. "I'm sorry, Ginny but I feel like we are moving too fast." He lied. "I mean, it's my birthday and you decided to make a move on me?"
He wanted to just blurt out the truth but he knew it would break her heart all the more. Harry may not love Ginny the way she wants but he would never wish pain on her. Ginny placed her hands on her lap, one hand covering the other. She looked down at them and gently bit her bottom lip.
Harry turned his head towards the bare wall, unable to look at the girl. "I'm … sorry, I should have thought about that." She whispered. "I … just thought … that you would like to. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being so stupid." Ginny was on the verge of crying. She stood up gracefully and ran out of the room, holding her hands to her face to dam her tears.
The smell of Ginny lingered around the room, and as Harry began to get changed, he couldn't help but think what he had done wrong. Should he have been more careful with what he had said or acted different? Should he have come out with the truth and spared Ginny the prolonged heartache and confusion? Should he chase her down and just tell her that he simply didn't like her that way anymore? That the love he thought was true was no longer there?
It's not my fault, I'm not to blame. He repeated in his head. It wasn't his fault that his affections weren't the same, and he knew that it was the silence in the room making him ask himself these questions, making himself feel guilty.
When Harry got downstairs, he was ambushed by Mrs. Weasley. She hugged and kissed him softly on his reddened cheek. Harry always would get embarrassed when Mrs. Weasley kissed him. It felt like a mother's kiss and Harry wished he had known the kisses of his own mother.
"Happy Birthday, Harry!" Mrs. Weasley said once she let Harry out of her motherly hug.
"Thank you Mrs. Weasley." The raven-haired boy blushed. Mrs. Weasley had that effect on him. He saw her as the perfect image of a mother.
"My dear, I'm sure I've told you plenty of times to call me Molly." She reprimanded. "Now, everyone is in the living room waiting for you."
"Oh, waiting for me?"
"Yes, of course, my dear. It is your birthday, Harry." Harry blushed once again. "Oh, and there is a surprise as well, waiting for you."
Harry practically ran into the living room, curious about his surprise. He halted abruptly when he saw his old friend Remus Lupin leaning near the fireplace. "Remus!" The young man exclaimed and rushed into a hug. Remus laughed and hugged Harry tightly to him.
Remus had not seen the young boy for months, mostly his fault. He had not tried to contact him since Sirius's death. He knew the raven-haired boy would grieve more than anyone and would be torn apart even more than him. He knew the younger boy's heart was broken but Remus had not tried to fix it, thinking that Harry would be better without him. It appeared that he was wrong.
"Harry, Happy Birthday." He released Harry and reached into his coat, pulling out a book which he placed in Harry's hands.
"You didn't have to get me anything, Remus."
Remus smiled. Typical Harry.
Harry looked down at the book in his hands. His heart dropped when he read the words in the corner.
Sirius Orion Black
Harry was holding his godfather's diary. Harry could see Remus smiling at him through eyes that were burning with tears.
"Thank you." Harry's whisper was all he could manage. He turned around to everyone else in the room. "Thank you guys."
Remus and Harry sat down near the fire after everyone gave Harry his birthday wishes and presents. He got a Firebolt broomstick cleaning set from Hermione, which Harry thought was a nice present. A homemade jumper from the Weasley family "made with love" and Harry had sworn to take care of it. From Ron, Harry got his whole collection of his Chocolate frog cards and even thought Harry hasn't been fascinated with the moving pictures since his first year, he still appreciated the thought. Fred and George, he got a hamper of jokes and sweets but Harry knew better than to actually try the sweets. But maybe the sweets could come in handy at school – maybe he could accidently give one to Malfoy.
Remus and Harry were both exchanging what they had done during the summer. Harry had acknowledged that Remus had been spending a lot of time with Tonks.
"… No Harry, I know what you are thinking but we are not together." Remus puffed and crossed his arms.
Harry grinned. "But you look great together. You are made for each other."
"Just like you and Ginny then." Harry's grin dropped immediately. "Where is the beautiful girlfriend by the way? She hasn't showed her face yet."
"Oh … I don't really know. I mean..." Harry trailed off. "Isn't it lovely outside?" He nearly squeaked, glancing outside at the fading sun.
"Harry…" The older man gently placed his left hand on the boy's shoulder. "What has happened? Has something happened between you and Ginny?" Remus could read Harry's body language and whenever he mentioned the girl's name, Harry's body shifted and his eyes would squint which was a unusual movement to do. There was something going on with Harry and Remus needed to know.
"Nothing! Me and … Gin—" The younger boy cleared his throat "Me and Ginny just got into a little disagreement earlier." Harry couldn't help but look down, unable to meet Remus's gaze.
"A disagreement?" The older man questioned. "Excuse me for asking but what about?"
The fire crackled beside them which caused Harry to stare beyond the flames.
"Nothing really. She just did something she shouldn't have." Harry whispered. "But I guess it is my fault."
The older man's lips thinned in thought. There was something troubling Harry deeply, affecting his life. All Remus wanted to know was what was he suppose to do to help Harry ease this … thing.
Harry fought the urge to tell his old friend about the secret bottled up inside. He felt as if everything was unravelling. He had still not told his best friends even though he had promised himself that he would on the night Ginny joined him outside. That was the day when Lucius Malfoy was featured in The Daily prophet. The reason why? Harry did not know as he would never read anything about scums like the Malfoys. But what Harry did notice was the Photo on the front cover, it was the facial expression the younger Malfoy had on his face – his face said that he wanted to be anywhere but there. Harry didn't think about it anymore.
All Harry could think about was how was he going to tell his best friends. They'd been with him in the face of death and yet he couldn't predict how they would react. He excused himself from Remus and went to find his friends. Hermione and Ron were sitting in the kitchen talking quietly. If Harry didn't know them, he would have thought they were together. By the looks of the closeness, Harry could see some sort of relationship brewing up between them but knew nothing would happen without a little push which is exactly what Harry had planned to do soon but first his "thing"
Harry leaned on the wooden frame, glancing over at the pair who put their heads up when they heard someone enter the room.
"Hi, mate." Ron greeted.
Harry pushed himself off the doorframe and dragged his feet to the table.
"Hey, guys."
He sat down and straightened his clothes. He was getting ready to tell them, ready to tell them something very private.
Hermione frowned and looked over at Harry. She knew something was wrong. "What's wrong, Harry? Are you ill?" On the last question, Hermione eyes widened.
"No no! I'm mighty fine. Nothing bad." He replied. "I hope anyway." He amended under his breath.
"Then what, Harry?" Both of his friends were staring at him, worried.
"I just have to tell you both something."
"Tell us then." Ron said loudly, making Harry flinch.
"Promise me that you won't get angry and I understand if you don't want to be my friend."
Hermione's frown slowly decreased. She had a clue what Harry might say. The clever one of the trio has noticed how Harry was acting around Ginny.
"Just tell us mate, we promise." Ron insisted.
"I think I'm gay." Harry blurted out. He sighed after as it felt like a big load had been lifted from his shoulders now that his secret was out. Harry looked at his two best friends. Hermione was looking at Harry with a slightly confused expression but she had a gently look of sympathy and kindliness. Ron, Harry realized with dread, wasn't going to take this quietly.
"WHAT?" Ron stood up, slamming his fist on the table. Harry felt like an idiot. He shouldn't have expected his friend to accept this. He desperately wanted to turn back time. He wished he was anywhere but here.
Hermione reached to Ron's hand and squeezed hard. "Ronald calm down!" She commanded, shooting a worried glance at Harry.
"What! You are gay? A puff? ONE OF THEM?" Harry nodded his head miserably.
"Why? Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I'm your best friend! At least I thought I was!" And with that, Ron stomped out of the room.
"I'm sorry" Hermoine whispered. Hermione wanted to hug him but she figured he wasn't in the right frame of mind and needed some time alone so Hermione left the room.
Harry was looking down at the bare table. What would he do now? His best friend or maybe not best friend anymore was not okay with his orientation. His friend's approval meant everything to him and now he didn't know what to do next. Obviously Ron would never talk to him again and by extent Harry would probably never talk to Hermoine again either. In the space of half an hour Harry lost pretty much his entire life just because he preferred men over women. But Harry couldn't blame Ron for being angry as he was meant to be going out with his little sister. He was meant to be unconditionally in love with Ginny - not fantasizing about men. But, no matter how hard Harry tried he couldn't make himself fall in love with someone who he wasn't attracted to.
Harry sighed and looked out the window where the moon shone pale in the night sky.
Draco saw the lone moon in the sky.
"Dragon!" Narcissa shouted.
His mother's shouting always made him jump out of his skin no matter how many times he heard it. "Yes mother?" He called back as she walked in.
"What are you doing looking out of the window? There is nothing interesting out there is there?" She snapped. "He isn't out there is he?" Draco could barely hear the last few words but he could tell by her eyes that she was worried.
"No, Mother. I am just enjoying the beautiful night." He sighed.
"Well come away from the window, please." She pushed him away from the view of the lonely moon.
"So I assume you saw Father today?" Draco put his hands in his pockets.
"Yes I did. Only briefly."
"Oh, any news?"
"No." His mother said sadly. "He won't be allowed back until you have done your task."
"Oh, I see." The blond boy closed his eyes as if in pain. His father was being tortured by the minute because of him and it pained him deeply.
"You haven't forgotten your mission have you Draco!" When his mother used his first name, she was trying to be strict. However, she was so worried about her true love that some of the bite failed to reach her voice.
"Of course not, Mother!" How could he forget this horrible thing he had to do?
The task he had to do … he would need some help. He could not do it on his own and he needed help from his despicable godfather.
"Yes, the sooner you complete your task is the sooner your father will be returned—safe and sound, hopefully!"
"You know that is highly unlikely Mother, don't fool your self." He smirked while heading to leave the room. He had soon to pack his case for Hogwarts, his second home. No matter how much he hated some teachers and that one particular person there, Draco still loved to be there.
"Just don't forget where your priorities lay Dragon! Please." His mother pleaded.
Draco turned on his mother. "I won't." He said stiffly before stalking down the weary long corridor, disappearing in its shadows and silence.
To be continued