Author: Patricia Emy
E-mail: patricia_emy@yahoo.com
Category: Post-Episode, Vignette, Angst, Mulder POV
Rating: G
Spoilers: Trust No 1, Existence
Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully and John Doggett belong to Chris Carter,
1013 Productions and 20th Century Fox. No infringement of any copyright laws is
intended.
Summary: Mulder's thoughts on the events of "Trust No 1".
Author's note: I wrote this story based on spoilers for the episode so there may
be some inaccuracies when compared to what was aired – yeah, this is an old
piece. Some dialogues from "Existence" where reproduced here without permission.
And, just for the record, English is not my first language so there may be some
mistakes. Let me know if you find any.
Faraway, So Close
Unknown location
January, 2002
Only a few hours ago, I saw your face.
I could hear your voice, calling my name. I wish I could come back, but I
couldn't. There's so much at stake, so much more to lose. Even that, for a
moment, all that mattered was seeing you again.
"All the sacrifice, the blood spilled -- you've given nearly a decade of your
life. Where the hell is it all going to end?"
"I don't know. Maybe it doesn't."
Doggett's words came back to me. At this point, one would ask himself if all of
it was ever worth it.
It's been almost ten years, and all that I have left are moments. Moments that I
relive in my memory, all that I allow myself to dream about.
It's like as if I could smell your perfume, experience the heat of your skin
against mine, the feel of your hair going through my fingers, the touch of your
lips, the sound of your voice, the tender expression on your face while you're
asleep next to me.
I cling to them as I cling myself to my own sanity.
I don't wanna quit now. Not now that I have a new reason to fight for.
I have you. I have a son who needs a father.
It's weird to think that sometimes we become aware of what really matters
through things we don't give much importance.
Simple things, like an old movie, a pizza and some beers on a Friday night.
And I realize I could even get used to the idea. As if I could allow myself to
dream about a normal life, to share it with someone. To live one day at a time.
I know that these are only dreams. Others would say, from a less romantic point
of view, that it's nothing but stress, or loneliness.
I don't believe in it. I never did.
If we got here, is because there's something more.
Today I ask myself why I didn't realize it before, why I didn't see you like I
see you now. So much time lost. So much time wasted because we were afraid.
Afraid of our feelings, of ourselves. I believe we had made the right choice,
whatever had happened along the way, whatever had brought us here, to the point
beyond the friendship and the trust that already existed between us. If not for
that maybe we wouldn't have taken that step.
I took your hand, extended to me in a silent invitation, willing to go wherever
you wanted me to go with you.
"Stay", your eyes spoke to me.
Nothing else mattered.
Faraway, so close.
The song on the radio said it all, I thought.
That music was the only thing that broke the silence inside that room I was
stuck at in a motel on the side of a road cutting through a place that wasn't on
the map.
My eyes ran through the screen of the notebook right before the click of the
mouse sends the message to your mailbox.
What we feared were the possibilities.
The truth?
We both knew.
END
-------
Stay (Faraway, So Close)
Performed by: U2
Album: Zooropa
Green light, Seven Eleven
You stop in for a pack of cigarettes
You don't smoke, don't even want to
Hey now - check your change
Dressed up like a car crash
The wheels are turning by you're upside down
You say when he hits you, you don't mind
Because when he hurts you, you feel alive
Oh no
Is that what it was?
Red light, grey morning
You stumble out of a hole in the ground
A vampire or a victim
It depends on who's around
You used to stay in to what the adverts
You could lip synch to the talk shows
And if you look, you look through me
And when you talk, you talk at me
And when I touch you, you don't feel a thing
If I could stay
Then the night would give you up
Stay, and the day would keep its trust
Stay, and the night would be enough
Faraway, so close
Up with the static and the radio
With satellite and television
You can go anywhere
Miami,
New Orleans,
London, Belfast and Berlin
And if you listen, I can't call
And if you jump, you just might fall
And if you shout, I'll only hear you
If I could stay
Then the night would give you up
Stay, and the day would keep its trust
Stay, with the demons that you drowned
Stay with the spirit that I've found
Stay and the night would be enough
Three o'clock in the morning
It's quiet and there's no one around
Just the bang and the clatter
As an angel runs to the ground
Just the bang and the clatter
As an angel hits the ground
E-mail: patricia_emy@yahoo.com
Category: Post-Episode, Vignette, Angst, Mulder POV
Rating: G
Spoilers: Trust No 1, Existence
Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully and John Doggett belong to Chris Carter,
1013 Productions and 20th Century Fox. No infringement of any copyright laws is
intended.
Summary: Mulder's thoughts on the events of "Trust No 1".
Author's note: I wrote this story based on spoilers for the episode so there may
be some inaccuracies when compared to what was aired – yeah, this is an old
piece. Some dialogues from "Existence" where reproduced here without permission.
And, just for the record, English is not my first language so there may be some
mistakes. Let me know if you find any.
Faraway, So Close
Unknown location
January, 2002
Only a few hours ago, I saw your face.
I could hear your voice, calling my name. I wish I could come back, but I
couldn't. There's so much at stake, so much more to lose. Even that, for a
moment, all that mattered was seeing you again.
"All the sacrifice, the blood spilled -- you've given nearly a decade of your
life. Where the hell is it all going to end?"
"I don't know. Maybe it doesn't."
Doggett's words came back to me. At this point, one would ask himself if all of
it was ever worth it.
It's been almost ten years, and all that I have left are moments. Moments that I
relive in my memory, all that I allow myself to dream about.
It's like as if I could smell your perfume, experience the heat of your skin
against mine, the feel of your hair going through my fingers, the touch of your
lips, the sound of your voice, the tender expression on your face while you're
asleep next to me.
I cling to them as I cling myself to my own sanity.
I don't wanna quit now. Not now that I have a new reason to fight for.
I have you. I have a son who needs a father.
It's weird to think that sometimes we become aware of what really matters
through things we don't give much importance.
Simple things, like an old movie, a pizza and some beers on a Friday night.
And I realize I could even get used to the idea. As if I could allow myself to
dream about a normal life, to share it with someone. To live one day at a time.
I know that these are only dreams. Others would say, from a less romantic point
of view, that it's nothing but stress, or loneliness.
I don't believe in it. I never did.
If we got here, is because there's something more.
Today I ask myself why I didn't realize it before, why I didn't see you like I
see you now. So much time lost. So much time wasted because we were afraid.
Afraid of our feelings, of ourselves. I believe we had made the right choice,
whatever had happened along the way, whatever had brought us here, to the point
beyond the friendship and the trust that already existed between us. If not for
that maybe we wouldn't have taken that step.
I took your hand, extended to me in a silent invitation, willing to go wherever
you wanted me to go with you.
"Stay", your eyes spoke to me.
Nothing else mattered.
Faraway, so close.
The song on the radio said it all, I thought.
That music was the only thing that broke the silence inside that room I was
stuck at in a motel on the side of a road cutting through a place that wasn't on
the map.
My eyes ran through the screen of the notebook right before the click of the
mouse sends the message to your mailbox.
What we feared were the possibilities.
The truth?
We both knew.
END
-------
Stay (Faraway, So Close)
Performed by: U2
Album: Zooropa
Green light, Seven Eleven
You stop in for a pack of cigarettes
You don't smoke, don't even want to
Hey now - check your change
Dressed up like a car crash
The wheels are turning by you're upside down
You say when he hits you, you don't mind
Because when he hurts you, you feel alive
Oh no
Is that what it was?
Red light, grey morning
You stumble out of a hole in the ground
A vampire or a victim
It depends on who's around
You used to stay in to what the adverts
You could lip synch to the talk shows
And if you look, you look through me
And when you talk, you talk at me
And when I touch you, you don't feel a thing
If I could stay
Then the night would give you up
Stay, and the day would keep its trust
Stay, and the night would be enough
Faraway, so close
Up with the static and the radio
With satellite and television
You can go anywhere
Miami,
New Orleans,
London, Belfast and Berlin
And if you listen, I can't call
And if you jump, you just might fall
And if you shout, I'll only hear you
If I could stay
Then the night would give you up
Stay, and the day would keep its trust
Stay, with the demons that you drowned
Stay with the spirit that I've found
Stay and the night would be enough
Three o'clock in the morning
It's quiet and there's no one around
Just the bang and the clatter
As an angel runs to the ground
Just the bang and the clatter
As an angel hits the ground