I don't own Final Fantasy VII.
She had seen it. He tried to hide it but somehow, she still managed to find out.
It was pretty late that night, she had heard him return from his delivery at one in the morning, she had had that habit of staying awake to make sure that he goes home safe, that's the only time she can sleep peacefully, after all, they were a family, and families look out for each other, even in simple, unseen gestures such as waiting to make sure he's home, unharmed.
She noticed how he had been distant lately and it confused her. But she didn't let it bother her too much, she had her hands full with the kids and the bar to keep their finances going, and the last thing she needed was stressing over Cloud's recent behavior.
She remembered that one night they had that conversation under the stars, just like when they were younger, when she saw how he was smiling and she told him about it. He said that he was unafraid of what the future holds.
Because I have you this time. Those were his words, so sweet, so meaningful and he said it with a smile and it made her really happy.
Until everything took a drastic turn.
She didn't know what she had done wrong, but he kept isolating himself and he seemed to be falling deeper into depression, she wanted to ask him, one time specifically, when he was in the bar, alone and drinking, she had offered him some company, which he declined without missing a beat. She got angry and told him to drink alone in his room and she never tried again. She didn't understand, she wanted to, but she couldn't deal with his problems specially when he makes her feel that he didn't want her to be involved.
Until she finally saw it.
She went into his room to get his dirty clothes, lately, he insisted in doing his own laundry, but she noticed that he was paler than usual and he looked weary all the time, probably from his hectic schedule, so she decided to do his laundry atleast. When she got everything from the romper, she removed his sheets next, upon doing so, she found a piece on cloth hidden under his bed, curious, she bent down to grab only to see that it was a bandage, but what caught her attention was the black stains all over it. The same black stains that covered the towels that she used for Denzel whenever he's having an attack. She froze. Then she started checking his clothes.
Black stains.
She knitted her eyebrows, if in disappointed or worry, she didn't know, but she knew now why he had been acting the way he did, the isolation, the rejection of company, his tired and pale face.
He wanted to fight it alone.
Tifa pursed her lips while she fingered his discarded shirt, she decided to place it back on the romper, and the sheets back in the bed. She wanted to wait for him to tell her about his condition, to see if he will open up to her about it.
Few weeks had passed, but he didn't.
Tifa knew it was coming, he disappeared, without a word, without a note, she tried to call his phone, but it went straight to voicemail. She sighed as she put the phone down, she started to regret her decision in not confronting Cloud about it, but she wanted him to open up to her, she pursed her lips when she started to feel inadequate, maybe he didn't fully trusted her? No, she knew it wasn't the case.
Because I have you this time.
She had proven those words to be false, because he was ill, and there she was, not knowing where in Gaia he is. She rubbed her face before she released a small breath, not really looking forward to Marlene and Denzel's questions about Cloud.
I guess I was the last straw. She had heard Denzel utter those words while looking at Cloud's picture on his bedside table. The kid was clearly blaming himself and her reassuring smiles and talks were not helping at all.
She would distract herself by doing work in the bar and with the kids, she would smile, hum to herself while she worked. But she couldn't help but think of Cloud, worrying about him and where he was. But she needed to keep a straight face for the kids, she had always done that, even when their group of eco-terorrist were traveling all over the planet, she was always the strong one, and she was more than willing to be that person for Denzel and Marlene, not just because she needed to, but because that's how she really is, a strong and independent woman.
When Marlene asked her if they could visit Aerith's church because she wanted to see the flowers, Tifa was more than happy to go, it wouldn't hurt to pay her dear friend a visit, so they went their way. It was the day they found out that Cloud actually lived there, but somewhere deep inside her, she had actually expected that.
I guess he trusted her more than me. She thought with a small but sad smile tugging on her lips, but she gently shook her head to push the thought away. She knew she was being ridiculous.
Because I have you this time.
Is Cloud sick? Did he go away because he's sick? Was Marlene's questions when she found a bandage with black stains. Tifa told the curious girl that Cloud wanted to fight it alone, that's why he left. But she knew that he was giving up, he planned to perish without them knowing about it. He had distanced himself to protect them from the pain of losing him. That's what she understood. She Marlene missed him, they all do, but what can she do if he didn't want to see them anymore? It was that moment that she asked Marlene if they could go home but the girl was persistent, she agreed to wait up for him, and simply joked with a laugh that they'll give him a lecture when he comes back.
They thought it was him that came in the door, but it wasn't and it almost caused her her life.
When Tifa woke up in Marlene's bed after her fight with Loz, she found him standing there, looking out the window, and it appeared that he waited for her to gain back her consciousness and he never left her side after he had found her on the flower bed earlier that day, injured and helpless.
She didn't actually confront him, but waited for him to speak his mind. But she asked one question that she hoped would have him speaking.
Is there something you need to tell me?
He was silent, he looked down like a child who was being scolded by his mother as he sat down in front of Tifa in Denzel's bed, not daring to look up at her. She waited patiently, but no words came out of him, she swung her legs out of the bed to lean closer to him to have a look of his pale face.
You've always had me. She repeated the words she told him when he expressed his gratitude about him having her.
Because I have you this time.
You've always had me.
What I mean is kind of different.
And you'll always do. She said again. Now... Is there something you want to tell me? She waited patiently once again, he took his time, when he looked up at her, she gave him a reassuring smile, telling him that it's alright, that he's safe, that he's secure, that she's to be trusted, and that's when he removed the sleeve that was covering the bruising of his left arm.
Tifa didn't expect it to be that bad, but she kept her face straight while she stared at it, for a long while than she intended, then back up at his face before she gave him another reassuring smile.
See, that wasn't so hard? She said with another smile. Cloud looked back down the floor, slightly ashamed, but he knew she understood. He didn't expect her to know, but there he was telling her about it.
Reno and Rude appeared later that night, informed them the kids were taken by Kadaj. Cloud glanced at Tifa, waiting for her to say something, but she just smiled once again and her words repeated in his head.
You've always had me.
Her simple words and gestures encouraged him, he will find the kids, bring them home safe and sound, then deal with everything else later, with Tifa beside him, fighting with him, like she always did. The martial artist placed her hand over his bruised arm gently while she stared at it, Cloud looked down to where her hand is, her lack of disgust surprising him. Reno and Rude left at that moment, thinking they were prying too much on that precious moment.
Cloud looked up at Tifa, whose eyes suddenly landed on his, she smiled one last time before he lifted his right hand to gently brush the top of her head to down the back, then he gently pulled her towards him to place a gentle kiss on her forehead, telling her how much he appreciated her without words. Tifa closed her eyes with a slight smile on her face at his gesture.
Wait for us. We'll be back home, to you.
She smiled at his words. She waited. And it was worth it.
We'll fight this together. She said, he nodded.
Because I have you this time.
A/N: Referenced 'On the way to smile: Case of Tifa' for the repeating dialogues throughout this fic. That was my favorite part because of Cloud's romantic implications on just that simple conversation. Thank you for reading and reviews are deeply appreciated.