Author: Patricia Emy
E-mail: patricia_emy@yahoo.com
Spoilers: Trust No 1, Nothing Important Happened Today
Category: Vignette, Post-Episode, Scully POV
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully and all the other characters belong to Chris
Carter, 1013 Productions and 20th Century Fox. No infringement of any copyright
laws is intended. And, just for the record, English is not my first language so
there may be some mistakes. Let me know if you find any.
Summary: Scully's thoughts on the events of "Trust No 1".
All That You Can't Leave Behind
"They're watching."
GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC.
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
9:37 P.M.
It's hard to believe that it's been only a few months. I feel as if you had left
a long time ago, even though the memories remain alive in my mind. Sometimes it
feels like a nightmare, and it's as if all I had to do was wake up and
everything would come back to normal. Every morning I open my eyes and, for a
brief moment, I believe.
Then I remember.
The suitcases and duffel bags waiting on the floor, William's cry, the unshed
tears in that last exchange of looks, the good-bye.
The phone rings, breaking the silence. William stirs but doesn't seem to wake up
from his sleep. I close the door before heading to the living room.
Doggett.
He asks me if I'm fine.
The question brings an involuntary smile to my face. I remember the countless
times you had asked me that same question. The pain of that memory makes the
smile fade away. I answer. We both know it's a lie. For my relief, he doesn't
insist and changes the subject, talking about the case he and Reyes are working
on.
I try to listen to what he has to say but my thoughts are too far away. We
exchange a few more words and, after I promised to take a look at the coroner's
report the next day, I hung up.
A week had passed and nothing had been found about the man who was killed on
that train station. Like he said, his name was false, his records forged. He
didn't exist, just like the ones he worked for. Patty, his wife, had also
disappeared without a trace after that night and now I fear for her safety and
for her daughter's. At the same time, I think she had made the right decision
when she left, although I have my doubts whether she will succeed on keeping
herself away from the surveillance of those men with no faces and no names.
As for myself, there's nothing I can do but wait. At that same night, all the
wiring and cameras in my apartment were removed - courtesy of Byers, Langly and
Frohike - but the feeling of being watched remained.
Nothing will ever be the same.
When I think of what they had done to me, I could never imagine how far they
would go. They violated my body, my mind and, now, this.
That mysterious man had made me question something I refused to face. The truth
behind the miracle of the birth of my son and the events that led to your
departure to an unknown destination.
However, I could hardly see his true intentions. He claimed to know all about us
and involved me with his lies entangled with small truths. Ignoring all my
instincts, I trusted him. I wanted to see you so bad that I only realized my
mistake when it was too late.
A man died.
And I almost lost you, once more.
I look at the computer screen. The mailbox remains empty.
We know it's no longer safe.
They're watching.
All that I can do now is wait. For any clue, for anything that helps me to
bring you back.
Until then, all that we have are memories.
All that we can't leave behind.
END
Author's note: This story was written after I had listened to a U2 song. I
couldn't help thinking of Mulder and Scully back then. This music has also
inspired the title of this story. The lyrics are reproduced below.
Walk On
Performed by U2
Album: All That You Can't Leave Behind
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring
Love, not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on
Walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on
Walk on
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place
None of us has been
A place that has to be believed
To be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird
In an open cage
Who will only fly
Only fly for freedom
Walk on
Walk on
What you got
You can't deny it
Can't sell it or buy it
Walk on
Walk on
You stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on
Walk on
Home
Hard to know what it is
If you never had one
Home
I can't say where it is
But I know I'm going
Home
That's where the hurt is
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you care
It's only time
And I'll never fill up all I find
All that you sense
All that you scheme
All you dress up
And all that you see
All you create
All that you wreck
All that you hate
(fading)
E-mail: patricia_emy@yahoo.com
Spoilers: Trust No 1, Nothing Important Happened Today
Category: Vignette, Post-Episode, Scully POV
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully and all the other characters belong to Chris
Carter, 1013 Productions and 20th Century Fox. No infringement of any copyright
laws is intended. And, just for the record, English is not my first language so
there may be some mistakes. Let me know if you find any.
Summary: Scully's thoughts on the events of "Trust No 1".
All That You Can't Leave Behind
"They're watching."
GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC.
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
9:37 P.M.
It's hard to believe that it's been only a few months. I feel as if you had left
a long time ago, even though the memories remain alive in my mind. Sometimes it
feels like a nightmare, and it's as if all I had to do was wake up and
everything would come back to normal. Every morning I open my eyes and, for a
brief moment, I believe.
Then I remember.
The suitcases and duffel bags waiting on the floor, William's cry, the unshed
tears in that last exchange of looks, the good-bye.
The phone rings, breaking the silence. William stirs but doesn't seem to wake up
from his sleep. I close the door before heading to the living room.
Doggett.
He asks me if I'm fine.
The question brings an involuntary smile to my face. I remember the countless
times you had asked me that same question. The pain of that memory makes the
smile fade away. I answer. We both know it's a lie. For my relief, he doesn't
insist and changes the subject, talking about the case he and Reyes are working
on.
I try to listen to what he has to say but my thoughts are too far away. We
exchange a few more words and, after I promised to take a look at the coroner's
report the next day, I hung up.
A week had passed and nothing had been found about the man who was killed on
that train station. Like he said, his name was false, his records forged. He
didn't exist, just like the ones he worked for. Patty, his wife, had also
disappeared without a trace after that night and now I fear for her safety and
for her daughter's. At the same time, I think she had made the right decision
when she left, although I have my doubts whether she will succeed on keeping
herself away from the surveillance of those men with no faces and no names.
As for myself, there's nothing I can do but wait. At that same night, all the
wiring and cameras in my apartment were removed - courtesy of Byers, Langly and
Frohike - but the feeling of being watched remained.
Nothing will ever be the same.
When I think of what they had done to me, I could never imagine how far they
would go. They violated my body, my mind and, now, this.
That mysterious man had made me question something I refused to face. The truth
behind the miracle of the birth of my son and the events that led to your
departure to an unknown destination.
However, I could hardly see his true intentions. He claimed to know all about us
and involved me with his lies entangled with small truths. Ignoring all my
instincts, I trusted him. I wanted to see you so bad that I only realized my
mistake when it was too late.
A man died.
And I almost lost you, once more.
I look at the computer screen. The mailbox remains empty.
We know it's no longer safe.
They're watching.
All that I can do now is wait. For any clue, for anything that helps me to
bring you back.
Until then, all that we have are memories.
All that we can't leave behind.
END
Author's note: This story was written after I had listened to a U2 song. I
couldn't help thinking of Mulder and Scully back then. This music has also
inspired the title of this story. The lyrics are reproduced below.
Walk On
Performed by U2
Album: All That You Can't Leave Behind
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring
Love, not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on
Walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on
Walk on
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place
None of us has been
A place that has to be believed
To be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird
In an open cage
Who will only fly
Only fly for freedom
Walk on
Walk on
What you got
You can't deny it
Can't sell it or buy it
Walk on
Walk on
You stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on
Walk on
Home
Hard to know what it is
If you never had one
Home
I can't say where it is
But I know I'm going
Home
That's where the hurt is
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you care
It's only time
And I'll never fill up all I find
All that you sense
All that you scheme
All you dress up
And all that you see
All you create
All that you wreck
All that you hate
(fading)