Sam liked to believe that that entire situation was, on some level, Steve's fault. Because Steve was a great friend. The kind of great friend that spent sixteen hours (after a full night's work, mind you) checking every open store in the tri-state area trying to find just the right type of bracelet for another friend's birthday.

Just because she'd smiled fondly at it once and offhandedly mentioned that it reminded her of an old friend.

And, because Sam was a good friend and Steve had these really stupidly large blue eyes and was really damn good and being persuasively earnest, Sam had joined him on his quest.

So, after having been awake for 34 hours straight, Sam had crashed exhausted but victorious on his couch, too weak to even make it to his bed.

Which was why, when his cell rang a mere two hours into his nap, he wasn't entirely lucid when he woke up.

"Okay, before you get mad...no one's dead. Or maimed, wait- HEY! Are you maimed? What? No, I don't know what- Are you missing a limb? Then you're NOT MAIMED! Jesus. So, we're fine. But we might be in jail. In Canada. Or...Mexico? What the hell are they even speaking here? How do I not know? Do you understand them? Wait, no, that's not important. I need you to get down here with some food and, like, your ENTIRE emergency fund. The one in your mattress that I promise I don't know about."

Sam blinked slowly and pulled the phone away from his ear so that he could stare at it in bleary confusion. He rolled over onto his stomach and buried his sigh in the couch cushions. "Um, yeah, sure. Just. Let me get up. Text me the address?"

There was a surprisingly long pause at the other end before he got an uncertain "Sure," and the call disconnected.

He was two hours into a three hour drive before he realized that he had no idea who the heck had called him. It was two hours and forty-five minutes into said three hour drive that he realized that he was holding Steve's cell phone.

Which, okay, sure. Not like either of them had been all that coherent when they parted ways.

And, because Sam was a bit too freaked out by that realization (who did Steve know that would get themselves into that kind of situation?) to press redial but not quite freaked out enough to turn back, it wasn't until he had arrived (in Minnesota) that he found out that the guy(s) he was bailing out of jail were Tony, God-wished-he-was-as-rich-as-me, Stark and Natasha's boyfriend Clint Barton.

Clint, having actually met him before, gave him a sheepish smile and nudged Tony into finishing his paperwork. Both were covered in an unreasonable amount of bandages and...tarp?

"Um, so obviously we can't tell Nat about this."