TW: Panic attack, Blood/Gore, Death
It was one thing to watch your love be ripped away from you. To watch your love fall down, down into a chasm of darkness to never return in order to save everyone from darkness-or rather, the Light. Yes, that was one thing.
It was a completely different thing to watch your love be ripped apart; moreover, to watch your love to be ripped apart by one of your friends. And being completely and utterly helpless against it.
The day started out easy enough, happy enough even. We were watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, of all things, all curled up in our dorm. All four of us. Carmilla was making sarcastic and sometimes accusatory comments toward the series, pointing out details like "Vampires don't have souls, you dimwit!" or "Oh, yes, leave the child in the care of an emotionally unstable witch, of course." I couldn't stop smiling because, while she acted all uninterested and callous, her comments and reactions gave away her true feelings toward the series….
Yeah, the day was going…perfect. Seeing as we were at Silas, I guess I should have expected what came next….
For the past few days leading to the event, Silas U was under strict quarantine. Classes were cancelled, dorms were locked, and no one dared step outside in fear of what they could not see. What the stupid Alchemy Club released upon the campus. No one knew what the gas did, and frankly, no one wanted to. I wish I could have stayed so blissfully unaware until they cleaned it up, but it was not meant to be.
Perry and LaFontaine left after a few more episodes, something about checking to see if their experiments on a cure were coming along. Maybe they were trying to fix this, that would've been nice. The two were gone and left Carmilla and I to our own devices.
"You totally enjoyed Buffy." I accused smugly.
"What? No, creampuff, it was stereotypical and focused way too much on Buffy's love life- or rather, lack thereof-"
"Ah hah!" I sat up suddenly and pointed an accusatory finger at her, "You were totally paying attention, I knew you'd enjoy it!"
Right as Carmilla was about to make a rebuttal the door was thrown open behind us, a tall, disheveled redhead clamoring into the room. We both jumped out of the bed in surprise. Danny wasn't supposed to be there. She was at the Summer Society meeting across campus when the experiment went awry. She couldn't have been there….without having gone outside. The wild look in her eyes and the crazed smile on her face gave us all the confirmation we needed of that fact.
"Danny, what-" She lunged for Carmilla straight away, throwing her into the wall, hands wrapped around her neck. No, not hands- claws. In place of her neatly trimmed fingernails were short, sharp claws that pricked Carmilla's skin as the amazon pushed her hands into her throat. Carmilla was struggling a surprising amount, and I could see the growing helpless frustration at her inability to remove the claws.
I jumped toward Danny, tugging at her arms as well, screaming at her, "Danny, what are you doing?! Stop it! Let go of her! Let go!"
Carmilla's own fingernails had elongated by then and was digging into the amazon's forearms, eyes glowing red with rancor. Regardless, the manic smile was still ever present, the only new addition to her state was the breathy, hysterical laugh that passed through her lips as her gaze bore into Carmilla..
"Danny, why are you doing this?!"
"Because I finally figured it out, Laura!" Her ecstatic tone froze me in place, it seemed as if she had this epiphany, this clear view of why everything must happen, why everything has happened.
She laughed. A cold, hysterical laugh.
"I know how it can happen! How it can finally work!"
"How what can work?!" she looked at me as if I had grown two heads, smile ever-present.
"I figured out how we can finally be together!"
In that moment, I had pieced together her plan. I knew what she was about to do. I couldn't have done anything to stop it. The blood was pouring out of her neck. The nails had grown sharper. Longer.
"It's her fault!" she emphasized the 'her' with another push of Carmilla's neck. Her wild mane was growing even more untamed and even more present everywhere else. "She's the reason we aren't together! I finally figured it out! Isn't this great?" She was so excited, so relieved.
"Don't you see? All I have to do it kill her!"
Carmilla was writhing under her, struggling to get out of the vice grip on her neck. It hurt so much to see her so helpless. I couldn't stop it. I tried so hard. But she was so strong. I kept pulling and pulling and grabbing. I was screaming at her to stop, let go, anything but what she was doing now.
"Stop? What do you mean, stop?" She positively growled the statement, her lips turning up into a feral snarl- a repulsing, feral snarl full of nothing but malice and razor-sharp incisors. "We could finally be together, Laura! Don't you see?!"
I didn't see. I couldn't. All I could see- feel- was Carmilla's increasingly helpless demeanor. She didn't need to breathe-I know that, she knows that, Danny knows that- but it doesn't stop her neck from being so vulnerable. I could see her eyes growing darker and darker. I could feel her ripping the skin from Danny's forearms as she tried the claw her way out of the vice grip. Her nails, too, were growing sharper and sharper; the sounds coming from her became increasingly more animalistic. For a fleeting moment I thought she had a chance; maybe she could get out of this! Maybe she could get Danny away from her! Maybe-
But then I was thrown back against my desk. I had voiced my hope aloud and even the redhead saw my affect on the strength of the vampire. I was a threat. I was a threat in the plan Danny had imagined. My head hit the corner of my desk and I slumped to the ground. My hand flew to the back of my head. Blood. God, more blood. Everything was getting blurry...
"I have to be with you! We belong together, Laura!"
Blood. Dark red, seeping blood was absolutely pouring out of Carmilla's neck, much like it was pouring out of my head. It covered the expanse of the pale blood there. The fingers around her neck pressed in even further. Her eyes widened. A whimper escaped her lips-god, her lips, where blood was slipping out faster than any quick-witted retort ever had. Any normal human would be beyond dead by now- her throat being crushed underneath supernatural strength- but she wasn't a normal human. She was a vampire. She was my vampire. I couldn't do anything- I could hardly keep my eyes open. She was trying so hard to get away, to come help me. So hard. To help.
Wait...no…
No, Danny..
No DANNY! STOP!
A split second of eye contact. Her helpless, dark eyes filled with despair and excruciating agony snapped to mine, and everything slowed. We knew what was going to happen. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't breathe. A scream bubbled up inside of me until-
"CARMILLA!" Her name ripped out of my throat, just as her very throat was ripped out by the red-haired monster in front of me. Her head flung back into the wall behind her as her esophagus was ripped from the tissue surrounding it. Blood- her blood- gushed out of the cavity, and down her body crumpled. I was crying; I was downright bawling. She crumpled- my indestructible, heroic vampire crumpled into a mess of limbs on the ground. Horror. Heartbreak. Loss. So many emotions raced through my bones as she crumpled. She was gone. She was dead.
Danny was laughing.
I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe- I was hyperventilating. All I could smell was her blood. All I could see was her body in front of me. All I could hear was my muffled heartbeat. It was ringing, everything was ringing. It was blurry. The world was blurry. My thoughts were blurry-Oh god she was dead. My head was pounding. My heart was frantic. I can't breathe. I can't think- oh god everything was so dizzy. Carmilla. God, carmilla, I can't do this. Please, please help me. Carmilla. Baby, please. My head, my heart, my eyes they- Tears? I was crying. Was I crying? God, Carm, I can't breathe. Jesus Christ, I can't breathe….
Sometime during this I collapsed fully to the ground, my eyes disregarding the soaked carpet that squished under my weight. God, I can't breathe. I can't- I-Carm- please-
Then, my entire being was encased with darkness. Darkness in which everything was more clear than when it was light.
And I welcomed it.