A/N: Alright. Since people here actually seem to like my Regina/Gold stuff, I'm cross posting this last fic. Y'know, one more you can hold me accountable for while I try to juggle multiple stories. Anyway, I envision this story will ultimately descend into a dark comedy of mutual domestic abuse à la Punch and Judy. That shouldn't really be a spoiler considering how they treat each other to begin with. So heads up.
Purple smoke whirled around the royal nursery in a maelstrom of increasing intensity, thunder and lightning crackling and flashing as an evil queen leered over her stepchildren. The world was irrevocably collapsing iota by iota into nothing. The Curse ripped, tore, and devoured with mindless hunger. This was unnatural destruction of the highest degree; it should not be allowed to happen and yet it was. The land groaned in rumbling tones so low they could only be felt deep in the chest as though the fabric of every living creature resonated in sympathy. Everything was shaking. The windows exploded towards them, but instead of ripping through their skin, the shattered glass hung in the air like lethal stars, dangerous and beautiful. Time froze. Regina closed her eyes and the cloud hit in full force, enveloping everything in a cold, endless darkness.
When she opened them again, it felt like eternities had passed. A dark-draped window in a strange room met her gaze and she lay between silk bed clothes in a warm, soft bed, softer than any of the feather beds she had ever had at her palace. Sultry, thick air smelling of sleep filled her nostrils. Compared to the howling at the end of the world, everything was so suddenly quiet now, enough to make her ears ring. But whatever peace she felt then, it shattered as the ringing unexpectedly increased and a headache exploded behind her eyes.
Foreign memories wormed through her head as someone called Regina Mills began to crowd her brain, pushing and shoving, until she felt her skull would crack under the intolerable pressure. It felt so strange, so unnatural, so wrong. There simply wasn't room for two people in one head. Panic pricked at her stomach but she reassured herself that this was all part of the plan. All part of the Curse. She breathed through the discomfort and dug the heels of her palms into her eye sockets.
Fortunately, it didn't last long. The pain mounted to one last jagged peak, then released to a blessed light-headedness, as though her brain were sloshing about between her ears. Two senses of self were slowly congealing into one entity, the memories separate but apart, and not altogether unpleasant. Finally she could think again.
So there it was. She'd done it. She'd finally done it. She'd successfully enacted the Dark Curse. A sense of overwhelming... something glowed in her chest. Was it satisfaction? Yes, she decided after a moment of contemplation. Yes, it must be. Regina could not fight a grin, or else tears and laughter would spill out instead. Disappointment and regret were her more familiar companions, but she'd never felt satisfaction like this. Who knew it could be so warm, so brilliant, so consuming, so wonderful? All the years of sacrifice, all the years of pain and humiliation, found validation in this instant. She had won. She had finally won and there was nothing-absolutely nothing-anyone could do to reverse the course of events she had set forth. She wiped at her suddenly wet eyes. Everything had finally gone to plan. Tonight, for the first time since she could remember, she would rest easily.
No sooner had that thought crossed her mind, Regina felt something shift on the other side of the bed, dislocating her train of thought. What in the name of the gods was that?
She rolled to her other side only to find herself staring directly into the sleeping face of Rumplestiltskin. Catching a strong whiff of musk and morning breath, she flinched back in surprise. Only this wasn't Rumplestiltskin, at least not anymore. Suspiciously human in the gray morning light creeping through the drapes, this was now Mr Gold; calm, peaceful, still, and curled in her expensive sheets without a visible care in the world. Oh, what fresh hell was this? At the very least she spied the black of his pajamas at his wrists and shoulders but this afforded far less relief than she had hoped.
Gold's eyes slid open without warning and nearly stopped her heart. He fixed her with a bleary, brown gaze that grew sharper with each passing second. Without appearing to notice her, he sat up and looked straight to the stately black clock on the fireplace mantle opposite the bed. Eight fifteen.
"There is a time and and place for subtlety, dear," he snapped, rubbing his face. "This wasn't it."
Regina failed to register his bait, staring instead at the thin band of gold that flashed around the fourth finger of his left hand. Was that a wedding band? It looked suspiciously like a wedding band. But it didn't seem Gold desired any kind of answer this morning. With a withering look, he retreated from the bed and shrugged into a dark silk robe, all in quick succession. Then he snatched up a black lacquered cane she'd not noticed resting against the headboard and limped from the room.
With heart sinking into her stomach, she glanced nervously to her own hand and, to her horror, found a not dissimilar ring in the exact same place. She tore it from her finger as though it had scalded her, only to notice the inside bore an inscription. In capitalized, small but bold sans-serif letters, it undeniably read "SOULMATES." No sooner had she read it, she flung it across the room with a hiss of rage. It cracked against the wall and clattered noisily on the hardwood floor.
That bastard! What had he done this time? When Regina had gloated to Snow White about sending them all to a horrible place, she had meant every word of it. It was meant to make Snow and her little friends suffer for time and eternity while she and other like-minded individuals enjoyed a well-deserved happy ending, free from the interference of heroic busy bodies. But this-this was not her happy ending.
So if this wasn't her happy ending, whose was it?
Ominously on cue, from behind the bathroom door across the hall, Regina heard the sound of the shower turning on, suggesting an answer that made her flesh crawl. If this was a joke, it was in extremely poor taste. This was not happening to her. After all that work, after all that sacrifice, this was not happening to her.
Mayor Regina Mills was scheduled to appear at the office in forty minutes, but the Evil Queen needed to scrub every inch of her skin until it bled before she could even begin to contemplate her new role in this world. And if Gold didn't hurry his ass up in there, she was not above flushing the toilet to expedite the process. In the meantime, she would burn her sheets.