NO! Lovino!"
"Fratello!'
"He is the only good, innocent thing left in my life anymore!"
"You are so... Complicated."
"I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!"
"Their not gonna get ya Feli. Their not gonna get either of us. I promise."
"I will NEVER leave you all alone il mio fratellino, you know that."
"... You're a lair fratello."
…
But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself
(line break)
The first time they met was a warm, clear Autumn day. Three men walked, side-by-side, making their way through the Italian market. They searched for food, clothing and other necessary items to pack prepare them for the next leg of their journey across Europe wanting, finally, to make their childhood dream a reality.
One was a born womanizer. Wavy, beautiful blond hair cut just about his shoulders and deep blue eyes he wasn't afraid to use to his advantage. He was born and raised in the city of love: Paris, France, and introduces himself with either a flip of his hair or a kiss upon your hand and always by the name of Francis Bonnefoy.
The next of the three came off as a bit opposing if not overwhelming. Light-grey hair, really more of a white, only enhanced deep, red eyes. His attitude fell nothing short of self-centered and would constantly overuse the word "awesome" to describe himself and that around him. He harbors a deep-rooted German accent, obtained from his own home country of Eastern Germany, that he insists always has and always will be the Kingdom of Prussia, and titles himself as "The Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt"!
The last, but certainly not the least, of the trio falls under the profile of handsome, easy-going Spaniard with dark hair that curls around his cheeks and piercing green eyes, a constant smile and a boisterous laugh. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, both a lover and a friend, a put your mind at ease, "one look and I know your putty in my hands" kind of attitude, and a "hell if we don't all end up in jail after all this is over because I'm coming with you" kind of plan.
But, as the three began to lapse into a comfortable silence, amongst the soft, Italian chatter, they heard a very, very loud, very, very angry Italian scream at the top of his lungs:
"GET BACK HERE YOU INSOLENT BRAT!"
Neither the Spaniard nor the young Italian boy, who was trying to force his way through the crowd and away from the shotgun wielding shop man, had time to notice the other until both ended up on their asses, the back of Antonio's head cracking sharply against the hard ground.
Rubbing the back of his, now throbbing, head Antonio sat up with a pained groan, looking up at the dazed child and held out a hand of assistance. "Hey, are you alright?" But, before he could continue on to apologize or even attempt to help the Italian up, the child gave an animalistic snarl, sharply batted the hand away from him, and took off into the crowd just before the vendor appeared.
Gilbert and Francis helped Antonio to his feet as the greasy, very... horizontally enhanced man spat in the kids direction with a curse. "Damn, lost him." he kicked a pebble with the toe of his shoe and he started off back into the crowd. Then, Antonio's curiosity and big mouth got the better of him.
"Wait!" The vendor stopped as Antonio tugged sharply at his clothes. "That boy, the young Italian that just ran by, is that who you're looking for? Do you know him?" Toni didn't know why he was so interested in the boy. Maybe it was the look in his eyes, the way he held himself, this frightened, helpless, lost, forgotten, seemingly useless, unappreciated, overwhelmed-
"That teenage runt?" the man interrupted Antonio's inner-musings. "Yeah, whole place knows him. He and his little brother hightailed it out of town after their parents and youngest brother passed away by some freakish accident. Police still can't figure out what happened and can't catch the runts neither. They went and put a reward up for their safe return n' everything. Not a soul can catch 'em though. Their fast little shits." then, with a tense, half-hearted, polite little smile he turned on his heel and walked away.
Antonio could feel the worried, uncomfortable stares of his friends as the three oriented themselves with the cabin they would rent for the next couple of days or so. But, while he could feel the stares, he paid little attention to them. Images of the little Italian boy filled his head, the thin, fragile state of his body: too thin for a boy his age. The way he held himself: broken while trying to keep himself strong. Afraid but refusing to back down or show weakness. The look in eyes: scared, helpless, useless, unloved-
"So," Francis cut of Toni's train of thought. "How long will we stay in this part of Italy before we move on again?" Toni didn't look up from his pack, where he had been trying to figure out what he needed to get at the market next time they went. "A couple of weeks? Maybe a month?" silence ensued. Finally looking up at his friends Antonio was surprised to see Gilbert giving his Spanish friend his best death glare while Francis beamed at the both of them.
"¿qué?" Toni questioned raising an eyebrow at the two of them, understanding dawning in his brilliant green eyes as his friends exchange continued.
"Verdammt!" came Gilbert's curse he covered his forehead with one hand while the other reached into his pocket.
Francis laughed wholeheartedly "It is the boy is it not?" he questioned, accepting the twenty euro note from his Prussian friend and slipping it into his own pocket.
"Kinda... Maybe... Yeah, yeah I think it is." Antonio hung his head as flashes of the boys face raced past the dark of his eyelids. Gilbert's glare increased, and it didn't go unnoticed by interrogated Spaniard. "Come on," he urged the albino. "You can't not wonder. It's a mystery Gil! And there's a reward for the two of them right?" he hated bribing his friend or trying to put a price tag on the two boys 'but if it meant Gil's agreement... 'he thought "So, why not play detective?" Francis clapped his hands happily in agreement while Gilbert folded his arms across his chest, trying to hide the growing smirk playing on the corner of his lips.
"Very well." Gilbert appeased as the three tucked themselves in for the night. "Gute Nacht." he bid them sleepily and he was out like a light, loud snores filling the air. Francis and Antonio looked at each other and laughed, tensing when an especially loud snore startled the two of them, as Gilbert rolled over in his sleep. They settled for sharing another, quieter giggle after a moment, both knowing Gil wasn't much fun when woken up.
"Buenas noches, Franny." Antonio yawned, smiling when Francis returned it with his own, sleepy "Bonne nuti, Toni." then the two joined the snoring Prussian in blessed sleep as they always did: happy, no regrets, and their whole lives ahead of them.
Antonio awoke to darkness, suddenly restless and hot, suffocating in the small bedroom. Making as little noise as possible, despite the fact that none of them were light sleepers by any means of the word, Toni escaped to the chilled night air of the forest where their cabin sat. He walked through the trees, stepping over roots and rocks, wanting only to steady his breathing and calm his body's tremors silently wondering what had spooked him, when he heard the sound of a child's whimper and a softer, slightly deeper voice of an older child, likely a teenager, coming from his left.
Moving quietly, Antonio saw the light of a fire coming from what looked like a shallow, natural cave, pressing his back against the moss-covered rock he inched his head around the side to peek in through the mouth of the cave. He couldn't help stumbling forward with a gasp at what he saw.
Two boys sat in a tangle of long, pale limbs. The first, decidedly younger by several years, had clapped both hands down over his mouth to muffle the sobs accompanying the tears that streamed steadily down his face, his head shoved under the elders chin. The older of the two, consequently, was the same Italian from before, his arms wrapped protectively around who Antonio assumed was his brother, he rocked the two of them slowly, and had placed his lips near the others ear whispering softly to try and quiet his sobs.
Antonio was only semi-fluent in Italian and the boy spoke quietly but, before he disrupted the moment, he could make out and, hopefully correctly, translate the breathy mummers of "Their not gonna get ya Feli. Their not gonna get either of us. I promise."
But, at his sudden movement and loud, echoing gasp, the two sprung to their feet. The older boy shoved the younger – "Feli" was it? - behind him. Then, the shot rang out through the confines of the rock shelter and out into the night.
The shot swooped wide around Antonio's head, the child not having taken the time to correctly aim. The bullet was not intended to kill him, it served only as a warning. The dark-haired intruder held his hands up, palms open as they faced the elder Italian. Feli cowered behind his brother, one hand fisting the collar of his own tattered shirt while the other grasped frantically at the elders hand. The armed of the two held the younger's hand just as desperately while confidently cradling the pistol, long, calloused fingers steady on the trigger, and they all knew: this shot would not miss.
"Leave." the Italian snarled, cocking the gun sharply. His scowl sent ice water through Antonio's veins. He said nothing more, he just waited, impatiently, for his order to be fulfilled, when the intruding Spaniard's feet did not move he gave one, last threatening cock of the gun.
Finally, Antonio's feet moved and he took a single step back. "Who are you?" he whispered, afraid to speak but unable to stop his tongue from forming the words. The second shot fired from the gun hit the ground much too close to his, suddenly unfrozen, feet. Antonio took off running.
...
"Run, Toni, run!"
"Oh God..."
"Mama? Dad?!"
"Come ON!"
"What are we gonna do now?"
I don't know, Toni... I really don't know..."
And Antonio screamed...
...
Stumbling his way into the room the first thing Antonio noticed was all the light's were on, then he processed one very worried looking French womanizer and one very, very pissed Prussian.
"WHERE THE FICKEN WERE YOU?!" were the first words out of Gilbert's mouth.
Thankfully, Francis followed with a much calmer explanation of: "We heard the shots." as he placed a calming, restraining hand on Gil's shoulder. "Then when we went to wake you up..." he let his sentence trail off, using his other hand to gesture to the pissed off Prussian.
But Antonio could not see their faces, couldn't hear their words, he couldn't feel the warmth of the fire. He was shaking too hard, tears stung his eyes and the only thing he could see were those Italian's and... and... oh dios...
"Fran, Franny, Francis, Francis, please," Antonio mouthed, whimpered, whispered, gasped, screamed, begged, he'll never know, but he could feel his arms move, his hands grasp at Francis' face. "Please, Please, oh dios no, oh dios por favor no, dios que deje de..."
Antonio's legs gave out. The exhaustion of the early morning, the fear of the gun, the horror of the children and the looks in their eyes. It was too much, and Antonio collapsed.
"TONI!" shouted Gilbert as his friend collapsed in on himself.
"ANTONIO!" screamed Francis as the sobbing man in his arms went limp, dragging the French man with him.
And, from the eyes of the Spaniard, the world turned black.
When Antonio finally came to he woke to the sound of three voices instead of the two he had become used to over the years. Opening his eyes, the only thing he could see was a bright, white light. He allowed his eyes to adjust before pushing himself first onto his elbows then to his feet.
Looking around he oriented himself, he was in a room, his room. In a cabin, their cabin. Looking out the window he saw the trees, a forest. Italy...
His knees wobbled for a moment before he grit his teeth and pushed forward. Moving through the layout of the cabin he made his way through the kitchen into the dining-room and saw the owner of the peculiar extra voice, Gilbert's younger German brother, Ludwig, was seated at the head of the table, his hands folded in his lap.
"Has he woken up yet?" the man questioned. Francis and Gilbert exchanged a look. Francis bowed his head, Gilbert settling for avoiding his little brothers piercing gaze. Ludwig sighed, lids sliding shut over hard blue eyes and running a hand through slicked back, blond hair.
"Buenos dias," Antonio made himself known, cautiously stepping into the lighted room, uncertain and soft. The scrape a chair filled the silence as Ludwig stood, Francis and Gilbert lifting their heads with wide eyes.
Suddenly a chorus of happy, surprised "Toni!"'s came from the two elder friends while Ludwig responded with his own, respectful, quiet "Antonio."
Gilbert clapped a hand on Antonio's shoulder and Francis ruffled the Spaniard's hair, Antonio ducking away from the onslaught of rough manhandling with wholehearted laughs, trying not to remember the faces of the two Italian boys.
A knock on the door made all four members seated at the table jump. Gilbert rose to answer the frantic knocking and Antonio could hear his voice as well as that of a whimpering child. Francis, deciding Gil was taking too long, went to assist and Toni and Ludwig shared a worried glance as the breathy, childish voice rose to a hysterical cry, and Ludwig excused himself.
After a few moments the Spaniard could hear Ludwig's low, rough voice trying to sooth the crying boy as they came back into the room. Ludwig carried a filthy child who had buried his head into the German's shoulder and Antonio disappeared into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water.
When Antonio returned to the dining room he saw Ludwig kneeling in front of the boy, and had reached out to hold trembling hands. "Now," Ludwig sighed, squeezing the small hands he held. "Who are you looking for?" everyone was surprised at the soft, comforting tone the usually uptight, crisp German used as he questioned the boy.
"The man, the man who came and fratello didn't kill him, he didn't kill him, he likes the man, please, please bring him to me. He his here is he not? Please, my brother, the man my brother likes take me to him..." the stuttered, softly accented dialect the boy used peaked Antonio's curiosity and he began to make his way around the room to get a proper look at the child's face.
"I need more than that." Ludwig gently explained. "What does this man look like? What do you need help with? Talk to me mein kleine italienische, please." the young boys crusted brown hair flew out to the sides as he frantically shook his head.
Antonio moved behind Ludwig and saw the boy's face. "Feli?" he asked, bewildered. Feli's head shot up, wet eyes wide in fear and surprise and the sound that escaped his mouth must have been as painful to produce as it was to hear.
"Please!" Feli begged rushing past a frozen German to the equally stunned Spaniard. "Please!" he repeated his plea. "Help! My brother..." Antonio needed no further persuasion. He grasped the Italian's hand with his own, desperate and afraid "Bring me to him!" and the two left the house, the forgotten three sharing only a single glance between them before taking off after the two down the path and into the town.
Feli dragged Antonio to the town's market where an impressive crowd had gathered around a very angry, very familiar Italian boy.
"RELEASE ME YOU CAZZO CAGNA!" the boy fought against the hold of three police officers.
At Antonio's side, Feli gave a frantic cry of "Fratello!" the boy's head shot up and his eye's locked on his little brother.
"Cazzo, Feliciano I told you to get out!" he screamed, fighting all the more desperately against restraining hands.
"Feli." Antonio spoke sharply, pulling the, now crying Italian, to him. "Go." Feli looked at Antonio, back to his brother, and then back up to Antonio.
Feli took a small, shaking step back, yelping in surprise and imagined pain when Ludwig's strong arms enveloped around the Italian. The restrained brother letting out a long string of Italian curses as he screamed for Ludwig to release his little brother.
Ludwig, deciding that speaking wouldn't calm either Italian pressed one hand to the crying boy's head to push Feli's face into his shoulder, the other wrapping around the small of the other male's back to bring them closer.
Feli flung his arms around the German's neck desperately. And, as the restrained Italian watched his brother and Ludwig, he broke, like some kind of porcelain doll.
"May I?" Antonio asked, moving forward to the broken child. He cupped the boy's chin in one large hand, tilting the head up. The child's eyes locked with the Spaniard's and his body went completely limp. Antonio shushed him, however unnecessary, moving his free hand to rest on the Italian's back.
At the unresponsiveness of the captured child, the officers released the boy's arms. The Italian felt the release of his limbs, and all hell broke loose.
Poor Antonio didn't even have time to blink before he was staring down the barrel of a loaded pistol. The police on the other hand took action instantly and, in one, sharp movement, the Italian was on the ground, unconscious from a blow to the back of his head.
Looking up, Antonio saw the officer's raised gun prepared for a second attack if necessary. None was needed.
Looking down at the limp boy in his arms Antonio didn't raise his eyes to the officers as he posed his question. "May I take him home?" he pulled the boy closer to his chest, afraid the men would take the Italian.
Toni didn't see the officers exchanging glances, his eyes locked on the strange, complicated child in his arms. Antonio could, however, feel one of them place a hand on his shoulder, could hear a voice ask if he was a member of the boy's family or had adopted him. The Spaniard was aware of the shake of his head, though he couldn't feel it and didn't want to, he denied he held any guardianship over the child.
"Fine." The man said, straightening up and dusting off his jacket and pants. "Tell you what: We'll come for the two of them in a little bit. Then we can discuss what to do with them."
Antonio could only nod.
Lifting the still sleeping child, Antonio slipped one hand behind thin shoulders, leaning the Italian's limp head against the Spaniard's own shoulder. Toni's free hand slid underneath bony knees, pulling the child close. Antonio relished in the feeling of having the younger male close, having that child warm and safe, here in his arms, where no one could get him.
Turning, Antonio saw Francis pressing a hand to his mouth, the other lifted to clamp it down. Gilbert's red eyes were wide, jaw swinging in the Italian breeze. Feli had his head pushed up under Ludwig's chin, long legs wrapped around the German's waist while the larger man's arms held the Italian up, holding him tightly.
Exchanging a nod all four set back off toward the cabin, Francis leaning heavily on Gilbert's shoulder, and Antonio could have sworn he saw the fingers of the Italian in his own arms worry the trigger of the pistol still lying in his lap.
Antonio had the boy tucked in his bed while Ludwig carried his own, exhausted Italian. Toni could hear the German gently hush the younger child informing him of where they were and where he was taking him. Suddenly Antonio could hear the younger Italian cry out, something akin to a scream of "FRATELLO!"
Peeking out of the doorway Antonio could see Feli fighting Ludwig's hold with surprising strength. "Ludwig." Antonio called softly, freezing both men in place. "Let him see his brother, it's okay." Ludwig nodded and Antonio moved back into the room, not surprised when Feli crept nervously into the room a few moments latter, Ludwig in tow.
"Fratello..." Feli choked on the word, fighting back tears. Ludwig pulled a chair up to the bedside behind the Italian. Placing his hands on the boy's shoulders, the German helped Feli into the seat; Feli sat heavily, clutching his brother's hand.
Cupping the back of his brother's hand Feli moved the limb up using the hand of his brother to cradle his cheek. He nuzzled into the palm sadly. Kissing the inside of the wrist the Italian breathed in the warm air surrounding his brother's skin with a strangled sob.
Ludwig squeezed Feli's shoulder before he pulled back. Nodding at Antonio he moved across the room in only a few, measured strides. "I'll draw a bath." he grunted in response to Feli's sudden, frightened cry. The Italian nodded slowly, bringing his attention back to his sleeping brother.
Antonio stood awkwardly in the middle of the room as he watched the child hold back tears, tightly clutching his brother's unresponsive hand. With a sigh, Toni crossed the room, seating himself at the foot of his occupied bed.
"He'll be fine." Antonio assured, trying to sound convincing, but the words sounded hollow, even to his own ears.
After only a few minutes Feli lifted his head, panic entering his eyes before his body relaxed in recognition; Antonio turned his head to see Ludwig standing in the doorway, sharp and clean-cut as always.
Slowly, Ludwig's eyes softened and he allowed a tight, forced smile to appear on his lips. "The bath is ready." Feli nodded, cautiously standing and making his way across the room.
Nervously approaching the waiting German, Feli accepted the hand Ludwig offered tentatively and both moved down the hall towards the bathroom, Feli giving one last anxious glance to his brother.
Antonio watched them leave before moving quietly to the chair still resting next to the bed. Slowly, as though not to startle the sleeping boy in front of him, Antonio reached forward, hesitating for a moment, then taking the child's hand, intertwining their fingers uncertainly.
"Who are you" he whispered, though no one could hear him. He was not surprised when the sleeping boy made no move to answer.
Half and hour after Ludwig had taken Feli to his bath neither had returned, so there Antonio remained, watching the boy sleep.
Suddenly, the child's eyebrows furrowed over tightly closed eyes. Antonio watched, suddenly paralyzed as the boy's breathing became uneven and his fingers curled so tightly around the bed sheets Antonio feared he would tear through the fabric.
Wanting to help, Antonio rushed forward to sooth the boy but, just before his hand touched the child's hair a voice cried out "Don't!" turning, Antonio saw Feli racing into the room. The Italian's skin was tinged slightly pink, most likely from the heat of the water, and wet hair dripped on an old pair of Ludwig's sweats.
Moving swiftly, Feli made his way to his brother's side. He slid into the bed, resting back against the headboard he lifted his brother awkwardly into his lap so the elder rested against him. Antonio could hear soft Italian practically singing its way from Feli's lips into the older brothers ear, he watched in fascination as the young Italian's hands smoothed the crease in the others brow, fingers trailing slowly, comforting, down to his cheek than farther around his brothers waist, lowering his own head to rest against the others tense shoulder.
Shushing his brothers rising whimpers again Feli turned to face Antonio. "You can't touch him." he explained in an underlying frightened whisper. "You'll scare him."
"What do you mean I'll scare him Feli?" Antonio asked, tilting his head just so to the side in confusion.
Feli looked down at his brother fondly, brushing sweaty hair away from the boy's white face. He shifted his position so he was a bit more comfortable "He gets touchy when he has nightmares, especially nowadays..."
Looking down at the boy's tortured face as it now lied on the younger's lap, Antonio couldn't help but feel his heart-break. "What- What's his name?" he whispered, his voice catching uncomfortably for a moment.
Lifting his eyes Toni saw the uncertainty dance across Feli's face. "Not like that. I don't want to hurt him Feli, never. What do I call him?" slowly Feli gave a long sigh, carding his fingers through the elder's hair to shush the sudden escalate in whimpers and addition of tears that had begun to bead at the corners of closed eyes.
"Lovino..." he whimpered brokenly. "Big brother Lovi..." Antonio and Ludwig shared a brief glance, both wondering if the Italian was talking to them or saying the name as if he believed calling out would wake his brother.
Antonio's eyes did not stray from Lovino even as Ludwig moved across the room in large, swift steps to Feli's side; he did not process the murmured conversation between the two; he just stared, enchanted, at the no longer nameless child in front of him.
With a soft smile beginning to adorn his lips, Antonio moved forward. The Spaniard knelt at the bedside, ignoring the chair still resting, unoccupied, next to him.
Antonio reached slowly for Lovino's hand, carefully lacing long fingers together in a complex tangle. His eyes widened and his affectionate smile morphed into one of wonder as Lovino's own fingers tightened around Antonio's, as though searching for warmth.
The transfixed man did not see Feli's own eyes widen at the slight shift of his brother's fingers, nor did Antonio notice when Ludwig touched the Italian's shoulder and the two of them slipped out of the room.
Antonio could only lower his head and pray that this was not a dream, that this complex creature would not disappear in front of his eyes. Antonio had dreamed for so long for someone to love, and he dared to hope that, maybe, just maybe, that this boy was looking for a family too.
Antonio woke with a start when the lamp sitting on the bedside table next to him suddenly exploded, scattering glass over the floor. Leaping to his feet. Antonio's sharp green eyes locked instantly onto a very strong, very wild, very frightened, very awake Italian for the first time all week. Antonio gasped.
"Lovino..." the Spaniard breathed at the sight of Lovino slumped on the floor next to the bed, shards of glass surrounding him. Not wanting him to hurt himself further, but not wanting to terrify him anymore than he already was, Antonio moved towards Lovino like one would approach a wild animal that had been wounded.
Because Lovino acted like one. As soon as Antonio began to advance towards the jumpy, confused Italian, Lovino's own body started its own movement, away from Toni. Lovino tried to scramble to his feet in his attempt to widen the distance between them but only succeeded in fumbling his way back from the approaching Spaniard, that is, until his spine was pressed flush against the wall and had nowhere left to run.
"Steady..." Antonio spoke softly but clearly, trying to calm the panicked child but Lovino would have nothing of it and, as Antonio's fingers began to reach for Lovino, the Italian broke. Lovino bolted, moving with incredible speed even as his knees buckled and his body's center of gravity swayed. Antonio could hear Lovino screaming in frightened Italian as he raced after the fleeing child.
Rounding a corner he saw Lovi forcing the door open in a desperate race away from the strange environment but tripped over himself at who he saw on the other side of the oak: two police officers and a women with a warm smile that didn't seem to truly reach her eyes.
Lovino made the decision immediately, deciding the Spaniard and strange house behind him was safer than the people in front of him but, as he tried to reroute his course. One of the officers grabbed at his arm and Lovino began to scream, he didn't waste his time trying to form words this time, he just screamed.
Feli came bursting into the room. Moving with obvious practice, he put down his left foot, sending his body towards his brother "NON FELICIANO!" Lovino screamed, managing to free an arm and sweep it in front of him as though trying to paint a barrier.
Ludwig came through next, dazed and confused. Whipping his head around wildly, it took him too long before he finally seemed to process Feli's location. The German moved, collecting Feli in strong arms as both Italians began to fight off their captors.
Feliciano gave in first, slumping against Ludwig with a broken, gut-wrenching sob. And as Lovino's fight began to weaken, Antonio moved.
"NO! LOVINO!" Antonio screamed as he stumbled forward, blind with rage. He was stopped, however, as Ludwig's arm swung out, creating a barricade.
"Ludwig!?" Feli sobbed, terrified as the second officer moved towards him. "FRATELLO!" he screamed for his brother as the man took him from Ludwig's arms. 'They're both going to make themselves sick if they keep at that...' Antonio thought, his own stomach rolling at the thought. Lovino was still too weak to be moving like that, and Feliciano too, if he kept sobbing like that...
Eventually, the officers managed to manhandle both Italian's into the car, the woman walked up to Antonio with a smile.
"Are you the adult of this home?" she asked, her voice dripped in sickening pleasantries and Antonio forced himself not to spit at her.
"Yes." Antonio answered, hollow. He wasn't looking at the woman.
"Well, I thank you on behalf of the orphanage and those sweet little boys. I'm sure they will love their new families." then, with another, disgustingly sweet, smile, she turned and entered her car, driving after the officers, as well as the two boy's all of them had come to love so dearly.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING?" Antonio screamed at Ludwig, only the presence of Francis and Gilbert's arms holding him back prevented him from strangling the German.
"There was nothing any of us could have done." Ludwig stated crisply, reforming the thick barrier that had been reduced to dust when in Feliciano's presence. "They were right, and we knew all along that we couldn't keep them. This isn't a fairy tale Antonio. To think otherwise is childish." Antonio fell to his knees.
'He's right...' Antonio thought, feeling himself slip into his own protective bubble. 'I'm being stupid, to think I would get some kind of happily ever after...'
"Says who Luddy?" Gilbert surprised them all by breaking the silence. "They're going to an orphanage aren't they? So," the Prussian placed a reassuring hand on his Spanish friend's shoulder. "all we have to do is go down there and adopt them back, right?"
Antonio felt his hopes rise again. He opened his mouth to agree with is friend when the German teen dashed his dreams again.
"Do you really think it'll be that easy, Bruder? No reasonable orphanage is going to adopt out those Italians after what they've done. Lovino's a thief Antonio, and Gott knows what Feliciano has done over the years. They'll most likely be sent to some Italian version of a juvenile hall. There's also the fact that you're a single man Antonio, you don't even have a steady job, much less any kind of housing. That orphanage will never let you take those two home with you. We might as well just forget them." and, with that, he turned sharply on his heel and marched out of the room.
An uncomfortable silence enveloped the room, it was so quiet, save for the sharp breaths coming from Antonio as he tried not to break down sobbing.
"I'll... uh... I'll go talk to him..." Gilbert suggested hesitantly, backing out of the room to locate his little brother.
Francis had slid down to join Antonio on the floor, rubbing the Spaniard's back gently. "Oh, Toni..." Antonio choked on another sob. "Mon ami, it will be alright," gently tilting Antonio's head up, Francis leaned forward, tenderly kissing both the Spaniard's cheeks in apology, as he pulled back eyes locked and green clashed with blue, the French man grinned fondly at Antonio and winked "I promise." and, with a gentle pat on Antonio's cheek Francis bounced away with a school girl giggle only he could accomplish.
Antonio, despite himself, rolled his eyes at his friends antics. He sighed, looking down at his hands, closing his eyes he lifted one hand to worry the cross that hung around his neck. When he opened his eyes again, he was starring at the ceiling "I hope you're right mi amigo, I really hope you're right..."
It took Gilbert two day's to convince his little brother to let them go and at least try to regain the Italian's, despite the fact that Gilbert was older, Ludwig was the one who cleaned the house and cooked the food and payed the bills and... Anyway, so Gilbert more or less had to get his younger brother's permission before he could fill Antonio in on the good news.
"Yo, Toni!" The Prussian exclaimed loudly, "Mein freund! Let's go!" Gilbert laughed as Francis helped him drag a very confused Spaniard out the door, Ludwig trailing behind at a much more reluctant pace. Suddenly, Antonio dug in his heels.
"Wait, wait, wait! Gil, Franny..." Antonio trailed off warningly his eyes flickering between his friends before locking his gaze on an overly excited Gilbert. "Okay, Gil, spill it."
"What do you mean 'spill it'?" the albino complained, starting to become impatient
"I love you Gil, really, I do, but you tend to get the lot of us in a lot of trouble when you get like this... oh dios! No Gilbert we are NOT going to have a repeat of that tavern in Czechoslovakia, no, it's not happening. Funny as shit? Yes. Worth a do over? HELL NO! No-"
"DUDE!" Gilbert interrupted his friends rant "No I'm not talking drinks or shit, though I really wish you guys would tell me what ficken happened that week," Francis cleared his throat. "ANYWAY! Dude were going someplace better!"
"Where?" Antonio questioned, half intrigued, but the rest of him was suddenly very nervous.
"We're taking you..." Gilbert held a finger up playfully in a dramatic pause. "To an orphanage!"
Antonio could only stare in amazement and disbelief, jaw slack, eyes wide. "No way..." he whimpered, softly, shutting his eyes tightly "No way, that's, that's not possible..." Gilbert and Francis shared a worried glance.
"Toni... Gilbert breathed, surprised. "Verdammt!" the Prussian cursed, clenching his fists as he turned his head, letting white fringe cover closed eyes.
"Antonio, mon ami, we had thought you would be more excited about this désolé. Why don't we go back inside and just pretend this never happened, oui?"
"Es tut mir leid, Toni." Gil sighed, "I just hate seeing you all..." he waved his arms around to try to emphasize his point. "I thought I could get you to be Toni again."
"No." Antonio corrected, lifting his chin, I'm the one who should disculparse to you, I want this, I'm just..." he ran a hand nervously through dark, curled locks, "A little..."
"Scared?" Ludwig supplied behind him. Placing a solid hand on the Spaniard's shoulder he leaned down, whispering in his ear "If it helps: me too." then he stood "Well?" he barked, sharply at the men in front of him "What are we just standing around for?" pointing forward as though commanding his own army he gave his command. "Move out!"
"Oh yeah! Lass usn gehen!" Gilbert shouted joyfully, punching the air as he jumped up. He was gone as soon as his feet hit the ground, Francis right behind him, alternating between happy yells in French, and requests to "Wait for us!"
Lagging slightly behind, Antonio and Ludwig followed the much more excited of the two. Ludwig walking quite unwillingly while Antonio tried not to go racing after his friends, Ludwig looked at him out of the corner of his eye.
"You can go after them you know," he stated kindly, "I don't mind." Antonio glanced at him in surprise, before grinning happily.
"Gracias, Ludwig!" he called behind him as he chased after his friends with a laugh, Ludwig could only smile.
By the time Antonio had caught up to his friends they were already arguing with a woman at the front desk.
"Look Hündin, it's not all that hard: we give you the money, you give us the kids, everyone's happy."
"And, as I keep telling you: it's not that simple, there are regulations that must be fulfilled, paperwork to file-"
"Mon amour, surely, something can be worked out. You see, our friend very much loves these children, and, so long as they end up in a loving home, what does it matter about finer details?"
Antonio froze at the doorway, unnoticed by the three. His stomach churned and his blood boiled; they weren't going to let him have the children, Lovi and Feli were going to stay here, Ludwig had been right...
"What matters," they continued, still not having noticed the Spaniard in the doorway. "is that our goal is to find every child a forever home in which they can prosper. Your friend has no steady job, no home, and barely has the money to keep himself in good health, not to mention two children.
"However," everyone brightened up as she continued. "Your friend seems to be a good, loving man. I might be able to pull some strings and let him take home one child, but not both of them." she smiled "Besides, being brothers, it'll be good to separate them, it's not healthy to cling to each other like they do."
"Are you saying I have to choose?" Antonio asked, no longer able to keep himself quiet. "You're making me choose between Lovi and Feli?"
"I'm sorry." the woman apologized with a small smile. "That's all I can do." dipping her head, the woman- Sam her name tag read- backed out of the room. "Take your time." she bid them, and shut the door.
Silence filled the room for several moments Antonio's eyes wide and unseeing, still staring at the place where Sam had been standing.
"Toni..." Gilbert breathed, breaking eye contact within only a few moments, unable to look his friend in the eye.
"Big brother Antonio!" came a call from the door, looking over, Antonio saw Lovino and Feliciano standing in the doorway, Sam behind them.
"They wanted to see you." she said with a smile. Starting to put her hand down on Lovino's shoulder, but her fingers froze inches from the Italian's skin.
Clasping her hands behind her back she smiled again, tensely and uncomfortably, and she backed out of the room. "I'll leave you to it."
"Feli!" Antonio cried kneeling to the ground and opening his arms, Feliciano ran into them, burying his face in the Spaniard's shoulder.
"Antonio." came the cold, harsh, but still quiet and slightly uncomfortable voice of the older Italian. Feli backed up towards his brother, Lovino placing his hands on Feliciano's shoulders.
"Lovi..." Antonio breathed, smiling slightly, then smirking devilishly. "Do I get a hug from you too?" he asked, opening his arms again, half playing, half hopeful.
"Take Feliciano." Lovino commanded, refusing to make eye contact.
"Wha-" Antonio began.
"You can only take one of us, right. Take Feliciano." bowing his head so that his bangs, a darker shade of brown than his brothers, covered soulful brown eyes. "Please... I-" he cut himself off. Taking a deep breath he locked eyes with Antonio. "I can't protect Feli anymore. I would rather him go, willing, with you where I know I can find him when I turn of age, than him be taken somewhere that I don't know and can't contact him."
Lovino released Feliciano and moved until he was in front of Antonio, he reached up, cupping the Spaniard's cheeks and bringing their heads together until their foreheads touched, Lovino closing his eyes in desperation. "Please." he breathed, voice breaking and shaky.
"Lovi..." Antonio whispered again, surprised, he never thought that Lovino, stubborn, proud, hot-blooded Lovino would ever reduce to begging.
"Arrepentido-" Antonio started to apologize but-
" Bastardo, either speak Italian or English I don't speak gibberish. Idiota." Lovino cut him off, glaring off to the side, a small blush tinging the tops of his ears
"It was Spanish but okay." Antonio whimpered slightly. "I said sorry, but I can't Lovi."
"Well why not!?" Lovino exclaimed, quickly losing patience.
"I can't just leave you here all by yourself." Antonio explained, feeling slightly defeated. Lovino opened his mouth to retort when he was cut off.
"Who says you have to?" Looking up, Francis had broken the sorta, kinda, not really argument. "If 'Tonio can only take one, what's to stop me, or Gilbert for that matter, from taking the other?"
"Franny you're brilliant!" Antonio exclaimed, wrapping his arms around his friend. "That's a great idea isn't it Lovi?" releasing Francis, Antonio turned to the Italian with a smile on his face.
"No." Lovino answered, glaring at the three of them and pulling his brother close, backing the two of them away from the trio.
"But Lovi-" Antonio protested.
"No." Lovino cut him off again. "I wouldn't trust them to wash my shirt not to mention care for my well-being and my fratellino doesn't even make the list." sighing, Lovino looked up at the Spaniard his brown eyes wide and scared despite his composure.
"You, Antonio, you I trust with my little brother. I don't trust that white-haired freak further than I can throw him and his fat ego, and I wouldn't get within a five-mile radius of francy pants over there. But you..." he trailed off looking away for a moment before making eye contact again sure and confident this time.
"You, however stupid it is, you I trust." placing his head in his hand he heaved a sigh. "And I just know it's going to come back and bite me in the ass. But I'm not going anywhere near your friends, no."
Antonio could only stare at the child for a moment, not breaking off his stare he spoke quietly, his softly accented voice humming its way out of his throat in a calming fashion. "Gil, Franny, Feli, can you give us a moment?"
A few mummers of agreement sounded from the three and Antonio could hear the sound of the door opening and closing before he closed his eyes with a soft sigh.
"Lovi." Antonio spoke softly. "Come here a moment will you?" he looked up at the Italian as Lovino crossed the room uncertainly. Stopping just out of arms reach, Lovino raised a brow, silently questioning the Spaniard.
Antonio reached forward, fingers stretching out towards Lovino who, despite knowing he was out of reach took a step back. "Don't touch me." he whispered clearly, his head bowed eyes shut tightly, Antonio didn't listen.
Moving slowly Antonio reached for the boy again. 'He's shaking...' he observed, his hand closing in on Lovino's shoulder. 'Is he afraid? No...' Antonio realized with a start. 'He's...' Antonio's arms closed around the shivering Italian, who in turn, first yelped then screamed. "I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!" And he fought to get free.
"LOVINO, STOP!" the Italian froze, looking up with wet eyes. It was not often Antonio raised his voice or called Lovino by his full name. "Stop, Dios just stop," but Lovino had a feeling the Spaniard's meaning was deeper than just 'stop moving'.
"Lovi..."Antonio sighed, breathing out the young teens name, Lovino wouldn't look at him. Tilting the Italian's chin up so that emerald-green could meet with a tearful honey brown, Antonio moved forward, resting their foreheads together and sighing out as Lovino breathed in.
Several moments passed, one just breathing in the other, before Antonio lifted his head again and smiling at the confused, hurt Italian. "You are so..." Antonio searched for the right word. "Complicated."
"What the hell do you mean by that?" Lovino tried to sound big and threatening but only succeeded in whimpering out the words as squeezed his eyes shut.
"You contradict yourself: you say one thing then turn around and do something completely different, you say you want something but really you yearn for something else, you say one thing and mean another." running his hands through rough, unwashed hair, Antonio leaned forward again, far enough away so that they didn't touch, but close enough that Lovino craved for the Spaniard's warmth.
"Why can't you just ask for what you want? Say what you mean? You don't have to be afraid anymore Lovino, much less of me." locking eyes with Lovino again he suddenly wondered... "You know that... don't you?"
Lovino shook his head. "How can I? Look at what they have done: they took my brother's family away from him, forced him to live out in the woods and steal like some common animal because his only living relative is a few years too young, humans have tried to kill us," eyes ablaze with disgust and unburied hatred. "Who's to say you're any different?" Lovino asked rhetorically
"Me." Antonio answered anyway, tightening his hold on Lovino, pulling the Italian further into his lap. "Why does your brother mean so much to you? Why do you hold his life above your own well-being?"
Lovino answered so quickly and so surely that, for a moment Antonio felt he had asked a stupid question. "He is the only good, innocent thing left in my life anymore." but Antonio knew there was a deep meaning behind the words, a desperate message Lovino begged him to hear: 'I'm all alone, I'm scared, I can't do this anymore, help me.'
And Antonio swore that he would, silencing the unspoken plea and sealing his own silent promise with a soft brush of a kiss against the child's forehead.
"No more, Lovino." Antonio broke the silence with a soft whisper against the younger's skin. "I promise: no more."
And Lovino believed him.
"Ne fratello?" Feliciano broke the silence as the two brothers made their way back to Antonio's cabin.
"What Feli?" Lovino asked, squeezing their tightly laced fingers slightly as he fought back a fond smile.
"Do you love big brother Antonio? Do you love him like you loved papa?" Lovino stopped. Did he love Toni like he loved his father? Was he willing to let another man into his heart? Would he be willing to try to rebuild a family at the risk of losing it again?
"No, Feli." he answered, shielding his heart. 'Never again.' "I will never love anyone like that again, I don't want to and I don't need to."
"So you're going to stay with me forever and never want to leave?" Feliciano wouldn't look at his older brother.
Lovino's head shot up, eyes wide in shock. "I will NEVER leave you all alone il mio fratellino, you know that."
"What if I had to go with big brother Gilbert and Ludwig? Would you defy big brother Antonio and run away? Would you never regret it?" why would Feli not lift his head?
"Of course I wouldn't regret following you." 'Why am I so good at lying to my brother?' Lovino almost, almost prayed that his air-head brother would see through him... almost...
"..." Feli paused. "You're a lair fratello." Lovino froze
"What the hell are you saying!? Why the hell would I lie to you?" 'Dio non... oh dio non prendere il mio fratellino lontano da me...'
"Because you're afraid of losing the only family you have left." Feliciano stated calmly finally looking up, his usually excessively expressional eyes unreadable.
"IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE!" Lovino screeched, hands fisted at his sides, head down, face red, breathing labored. 'why now, oh dio why now does he have to understand?'
"I'm going to go live with Ludwig and big brother Gilbert, Lovino." Feliciano moved towards his brother, cupping his face in between warm hands. "You're going to stay here with big brother Antonio." Lovino grabbed at his brothers hands, pressing them further into his skin, gripping as tightly as he could.
"It's okay Lovino." Feli comforted him, rubbing his thumbs back and forth under his big brother's eyes. "It's going to be okay." lowering his face, Feliciano forced his brother to look him in the eye.
"Let it go Lovino, let go of the hurt and hatred." freeing one hand, Feli let his fingertips travel down his brother's chest until they rested of his thrumming heart. "Let go of the walls and locks. Let go of the fear and uncertainty." leaning forward, Feliciano's placed a kiss on his brother's cheek.
"You deserve it Lovi." he whispered against the skin, he moved across, placing another kiss upon the opposite cheek. "You deserve a family."
"I don't need Antonio, I have you." Lovino protested weakly, Feli shook his head.
"You're not as big as you think you are, you need someone who can feed and cloth you. Who can sing to you when you can't sleep. Someone to hold you through the storms and nightmares. Antonio is that someone. Don't be afraid anymore Lovino, let someone else in."
Lovino trembled beneath his brothers touch. "When did you become so smart?" Feli smiled.
"Always, but intelligence wasn't what you needed."
"Feliciano!" came the call in the distance. Feli's head shot up, a happy grin splitting his face in half.
"Coming Ludwig!" Feliciano called back.
"Wait!" Lovino cried, desperate and frightened again. "When are you leaving?" Lovino's little brother's smile broke and became sad.
"As soon as Ludwig finishes packing the car up." he answered simply.
Lovino didn't answer.
Making their way back to the cabin, Lovino noticed the German bastard's car was already packed up. 'He's leaving me...'
"Lovino." Feliciano spoke suddenly, urgently. "I'm not leaving you all alone. I will always be your fratellino."
Lovino pulled him into an embrace. "My fratellino," he whispered, more to himself than anything. "My precious baby brother..."
Several moments passed.
"I'll come back one day, probably come summer." Feliciano promised, pulling out of the hug and smiling at his brother.
"Yeah, you'd better, that or I will come hunt you down." smiling sadly Lovino reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind his brother's ear. "Ti amo."
"Ti amo," his brother returned, moving towards the car. "Sempre, Fratello!" Ludwig stepped out of the car, opening the door for Feli, as he entered behind the bouncing Italian Lovino made eye contact. 'Take care of him you bastard.' his mind screamed, willing to open his mouth should his message not get across.
'Always.' but Ludwig knew, he understood and answered the older brother's plea as silent but sure as Lovino needed. He didn't like the German bastard's who were steeling his little brother but, if Feliciano accepted them as his family...
Lovino watched as the last of his family disappeared into a cloud of dust, he waited, unsure as to what to do next.
"Lovino." came the deep voice at the door. "Dinner's ready, are you going to stand there all day?" turning around, Lovino saw Antonio standing, relaxed as ever, an easy grin gracing his features. Taking a deep breath, trying to calm his shaking hands and trembling knees, Lovino moved forward.
Stopping in front of Antonio he looked up, eyes wide and scared and, for once, Lovino didn't care. Maybe Feliciano had been right, maybe it was time to let someone in.
But his inner pep-talk didn't, couldn't stop him from gasping in surprise and relief as Antonio collected Lovino's smaller body to his own.
"Welcome home, Lovino." breath in, warmth, sunshine, safety... Antonio...
"I'm home." how long had it been since he had said that?
As Lovino crossed the thresh-hold and the door closed behind them...
he never looked back.
I am not fluent in any of these languages and I apologize if I made any grammar errors or just fucked up in general
Fratello- big brother (Italian)
Il mio fratellino- My little brother (Italian)
¿Qué?- What? (Spanish)
Verdammt!- Damn, Damn it, (German)
Gute Nacht- Good night (German)
Buenas noches- Good night (Spanish)
Bonne nuti- Good night (French)
Ficken- Fuck (German)
Oh dios- Oh God (Spanish)
Dios no, oh dios por favor no, dios que deje de- God no, oh God please no, God make it stop (Spanish)
Buenos dias- Good morning (Spanish)
Meine kleine italienische- My little Italian (German)
Cazzo cagna- Fucking bitch (Italian)
Cazzo- Fuck (Italian)
Non- No (Italian)
Bruder- Brother (German)
Mon ami- My friend (French)
Mi amigo- My friend (Spanish)
Mein freund- My friend (German)
Désolé- Sorry (French)
Oui?- Yes? (French)
Es tut mir leid- I'm sorry (German)
disculparse- apologize (Spanish)
Lass uns gehen- Let's go (German)
Gracias- Thanks (Spanish)
Hündin- Bitch (German)
Mon amour- My love (French)
Arrepentido- Sorry (Spanish)
Bastardo- Bastard (Italian)
Idiota- Idiot (Italian)
Dio non...oh dio non prendere il mio fratello lontano da me- God no...oh God don't take my little brother away from me (Italian)
Ti amo- I love you
Sempre- always (Italian)
Okay, I. Am. SOOOOOO sorry. I know that I totally just disappeared off the face of the earth but I really hope that nobody hates me.
Basically: Shit went down. I had computer issues, then writers block problems, then other, complicated issues and... well...
but, I did finish writing Heroe
So I hope that makes up for it ^^;
This is the final draft and I hope that you all enjoyed it,
I don't know when I'll manage to get the next story up but I'll do my best ^^
Ja ne!