That morning, when Grimlock, Slag, Sludge, Snarl and Swoop trotted over to where Ratchet sat with Ironhide, Wheeljack and Perceptor in the commissary and dropped a rose bush down in front of him, everyone stared.
Ratchet rebooted his optics, wondering if he was dreaming, but no, he wasn't so fortunate. The Dinobots and the rose bush were still there.
"Grimlock," Ratchet ignored the snickers that had broken out amongst the Autobots, "what is this?"
"It rose bush," grunted Grimlock, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it kind of was.
"Yeah, Ratchet," chortled Sideswipe, "get your plants right."
"I know it's a rose bush," snapped Ratchet. "I mean, why is it here, in front of me?"
"It present," Swoop chirped proudly.
By now, everyone in the commissary was listening in on the conversation. Some found it amusing, others were just curious as to why the Dinobots had given Ratchet a present in the form of a rose bush.
"A present?" Ratchet stared up at the Dinobots in confusion. "Why?"
"Because," Grimlock explained impatiently, "it Mother's Day."
That did it. Jazz, Blaster and Sideswipe burst out laughing, Prowl's lips twitched in restrained amusement, Optimus' optics shone suspiciously and Ironhide and Wheeljack let out mutual snorts. Everyone else was laughing as well, except for Perceptor, who just looked thoughtful and Red Alert, who was looking at the Dinobots like they'd lost their CPUs from across the room.
Ratchet was rather panicked following Grimlock's announcement and glanced desperately left and right. No one offered him any assistance.
"Grimlock," Ratchet hissed at last, "I'm not your mother."
Grimlock tilted his head in confusion. "But you Ratchet and him Wheeljack create Dinobots."
"That does not make me your mother."
"You Ratchet Dinobots' mother." Grimlock folded his arms resolutely and glared down at the medic.
"Why me?" groaned Ratchet. "Why not Wheeljack."
Grimlock shook his head. "Him Wheeljack can't be mother. You Ratchet protective of Dinobots, like mama bear. You also medic, have white paint job and nice hips."
"One," snapped Ratchet, "Wheeljack and I may have created you, but that does not mean I'm your mother. Jack and I aren't even in a relationship..."
Wheeljack snickered. "Yeah, that's Ratchet and Ironhide, Grimlock."
"Two," said Ratchet, shooting Wheeljack a filthy look, "I'm not a femme and three...wait a minute...I have nice what?"
"Hips," Sludge tuned in helpfully.
Ratchet, if possible, looked even more horrified. Meanwhile Ironhide choked on his laugh and Jazz, Blaster and Sideswipe all looked like Christmas had come early.
"Alright," snarled Ratchet, overcoming his shock and getting to his feet while glowering around at his fellow Autobots. "Who the hell put this idea in their helms?"
"Us Dinobots call you Mama now," Grimlock informed Ratchet matter of factly, "and him Wheeljack Papa."
That wiped the smile off Wheeljack's face, or at least, everyone assumed it did. The engineer looked much less amused than he did before.
With that, Grimlock gestured for his brothers to follow him and together they trotted back out the commissary, Swoop calling over his shoulder to Ratchet, "Happy Mother's Day, Mama."
There was a rare moment of silence after the Dinobots had left. Prowl was the one to break it.
"You know," he commented calmly, "you might want to put those roses in water before they wilt."
"Oh shut up," snapped Ratchet, gathering up the rose bush. He made his way to the commissary's exit, stopping only to address Sideswipe.
"One word," he hissed at Sideswipe, "and you're a dead mech walking."
Ratchet continued on his way, roses still clutched to his chestplates. He purposely ignored the laughter that sounded after his exit.