This one shot is written in honor of my aunt, who lost her battle with cancer yesterday morning. I will never forget how bright her smile was and how kind her heart was. Thank you for being my aunt, you are forever loved. ~CelestialSpiritQueen
Death wasn't an unfamiliar enemy in the lives of Kagome and Inuyasha. In fact, when battling Naraku for those two long years, death was seen just about every day. Some days they would stumble upon an entire village razed to the ground, lifeless bodies lying limp in the streets or wherever the demon (and sometimes humans) had discarded them. Other times they themselves had to kill enemies who attacked them. No matter the circumstances it was always an unsightly scene to witness, and half of the time it ended with being covered in demon guts. Right now Kagome would have taken being covered in a pool of slimy, stinking guts than face reality.
Her heart felt like it was tearing itself apart in her chest as the miko sobbed into red cloth, her tears darkening the color. "It's not fair! It's not fair!" She cried out, releasing her pain in the form of anger. "He shouldn't have...h-he can't be-" her shouts morphed into another round of heart wrenching cries.
"I'm so sorry, Kagome," Sango told her friend in a soft voice, her own eyes beginning to pool with tears that she refused to shed. "He wouldn't want you to feel this way, you know that better than anyone."
Kagome pulled her face out of the fire rat skin long enough to cast a misdirected glare at the brunette. "No, he's not," she snapped in a harsh tone, her voice slightly hoarse from her constant cries. "He should still be here."
Sango flinched slightly but continued. "He's no longer in pain. We can be grateful for that much at least."
The grieving woman went to answer with a sharp retort but the hand that rubbed her back appeared to calm her slightly. "Oh, InuYasha..." she whimpered, burying her face into his chest.
"I know, I know, Kagome," the half demon murmured soothingly into her ear, having not let go of her since they heard the devastating news. It happened when Inuyasha had passed through the well to pick up more ramen at his wife's request. He had stopped into the Higurashi household to see how everyone was doing (he knew Kagome would ask) when the sounds of crying filled his sensitive ears. He rushed in only to find out that Kagome's grandfather had passed away that morning. Ramen forgotten, the hanyou awkwardly patted his mother and brother in laws head and brought them over a fresh box of tissues before bolting back to the feudal era to reluctantly give his wife the news. Obviously she wasn't taking it very well.
"Kagome, please stop crying," her husband whined not unlike a dog. He kept one arm wrapped securely around her waist while the other shifted from stroking her hair to rubbing circles in her back.
"I-I can't help it! Grandpa is gone and...and I didn't even get to say goodbye," the dark haired girl whimpered, fisting her fingers into his robe tighter.
Inuyasha breathed out through his nose. He knew she'd be emotional but this still took him off guard. The half demon could handle almost anything, including cynical demons but Kagome crying, that was a whole new level of difficult! "He knew you cared for him even if you didn't get to say your final farewells. You had no way of knowing." His lips planted a soft kiss to the side of her head, hoping the small gesture of affection would calm her slightly. Unfortunately it did nothing to appease the grief stricken woman.
Kagome let out another cry, pulling away from him slightly so that she could rub her eyes with the long sleeves of her robe. "Grandpa will never get to meet…" she couldn't even finish her sentence as she broke into another fit of tears.
"He'll get to meet her, I swear," Inuyasha murmured, watching his wife give him a confused look. "Even if your Grandfather is no longer part of this world physically, he will always watch over you. So because of that he will be able to meet her," he finished, resting his palm on the soft swell of her stomach.
"Do you really believe that, Inuyasha?" The priestess sniffled, her eyes turning towards her abdomen. She wasn't far along and just began to show but her loose clothes hid that small bump of her tummy. Her pregnancy hormones definitely weren't helping her in this moment one bit.
"I really do, Kagome," Inuyasha kept his hand on her stomach where his child grew just beneath his fingertips and rested his forehead against hers, tan skin clashing with creamy white. Her eyes closed but he kept his own open, staring at her beautiful face covered with tears. In that moment his heart ached to see her bright smile again. Someone as wonderful and kind hearted as her never deserved to be so upset. Death wasn't something he could slay with the sword of his father's fang. Only Sesshomaru could and even those powers were limited. With her grandfather so old it was likely that if they did manage to convince Sesshomaru he would die soon after from another illness. The whole having to travel through time also posed a bit of a problem.
Her soft request brought him out of his thoughts. "Can you come with me to the future…so that I can say goodbye?"
Kagome stiffened when she caught sight of the large brick building in the central region of town. Worries swirled through her head as she pictured every possible scenario that could transpire when she entered those revolving doors. Sensing her distress, Inuyasha tightened his hold on her to reassure her that he was still there for her, and that he always would be. He carried her on his back just like always since he hated modern transportation. Kagome hadn't even put up a fight about how they could be seen jumping across rooftops like usual. At this point she didn't even care.
"Here we are, Kagome," her husband bent his knees, allowing her to slide off of his back, making sure that her feet safely touched the pavement. She couldn't muster up a smile for him so she squeezed his hand to show that she was grateful for him being there. Kagome was especially thankful when she noticed how his nose scrunched up distastefully when they entered the hospital. All of the smells of medicine, sickness, and death were probably driving him crazy from the sensory overload. Other than his twitching nose and ears he made no complaint.
Together the couple made their way over to the nurse's station, Kagome leading the way. "Hello, my name is Kagome Higurashi," she introduced herself before asking for her grandfather's room.
"He's in room B207. That will be the second floor on your right," the nurse glanced down at her computer to double check that she read the room right. "I'm very sorry for your lose."
A lump formed in her throat at the words, the situation seeming more real. "T-thank you," she choked out, feeling her chest tighten uncomfortably, like there was either not enough oxygen in the air or that some force was squeezing her lungs. The feeling was awful so she did the only thing she could think of and stopped feeling. Turning off her emotions was like flipping a light switch. Simple and effective. If she couldn't feel emotions she couldn't feel pain. All that was left was emptiness.
Inuyasha seemed to notice the shift in her but made no comment on it. Silently, the two walked to the correct, opting for taking the stairs instead of the elevator since the hanyou didn't trust the confined space. When they finally arrived at the room, Kagome tugged at her short skirt. She wasn't used to wearing her modern clothes after living in the feudal era for so long so it felt weird stopping at her house to change into time period clothing. Unfortunately almost none of her shirts fit her anymore so it took a bit of digging around her closet to find a loose fitting sweater that she had gotten as a gift from a friend who accidently bought it a size too big.
Without a glance towards her mate, the black haired woman pushed open the door. She looked for her mother first, who sat hunched over in a chair with her face in her hands but she didn't appear to be crying at the moment. It was heartbreaking to see the normally strong, happy woman look so defeated. Souta wasn't much diiferent as he sat slumped in his chair, staring at his shoes. "Hi Mama," Kagome croaked, avoiding her gaze from the hospital bed. She wasn't ready yet.
"Oh Kagome!" her mother sat up, plastering a smile on her face when she heard her beloved daughter, except it lacked the usual warmth. "You are here. I missed you so much," she stood up, wrapping her arms around her child lovingly.
"How are you doing, Mom?" she asked, resting her chin on her mother's shoulder as she embraced her tighter.
"Oh, I'm all right, don't worry about me," Mrs. Higuarashi pulled away slightly to look at her. "How are you doing? I hope the journey wasn't too strenuous for you. Maybe you should sit down," she tittered worriedly. As always she took care of others before herself.
"I'm fine, Mama. I really am. Inuyasha carried me the whole way," Kagome tried to protest but was forced to take the chair her mother had been occupying earlier.
Mrs. Higurashi turned her kind gaze to her son in law. "Thank you for taking such good care of my Kagome, Inuyasha."
The hanyou was caught off guard by the praise so he looked away from them. "Pfft, no need to thank me for taking care of my wife. Keh," he mumbled but the blush on his cheeks gave him away.
Kagome mustered up a small smile at the interaction between her husband and mother. She was so glad that the two got along as well as they did. Inuyasha didn't always respect many people but Kagome's mother was an exception. While the two engaged in conversation about ways Inuyasha was caring for his pregnant wife in the past, the miko shifted her attention to her younger brother. "Hey, Souta," she called out to him in a gentle voice, reaching out and placing a hand on her shoulder. He had grown so much since she graduated high school. It seemed he sprouted an inch every time she came to visit!
"Hey, Kagome," her younger brother greeted without looking up from the tiled flor.
"How are you doing?" she questioned, not liking to see him so despondent.
The boy shrugged his shoulders, still avoiding her gaze. "Ok, I guess. Just sad."
"Well that's understandable," his sister responded, wrapping him in a hug. "I am too."
It was then when Souta began crying again, his sobs muffled from her sweater. Mrs. Higurashi and Inuyasha abruptly ended their conversation at the sound of tears but neither made a move towards the siblings. Kagome was rubbing circles into his back, similar to what Inuyasha had done for her yesterday. "I know, I know. Don't try to hold it in just let it all out," she soothed in a calming voice. "No matter what we have to remember that Grandpa is watching over us because he loves us just as much as we love him. Can you try to remember that for me?"
Souta gave a tiny nod, pulling away from her after a moment once he was calmer. He sent her a small smile as he wiped his eyes. "Y-you're right. Grandpa would probably complain that we are all crying."
"He would probably start pulling out sutures and charms to make us stop," Kagome added with a light laugh. Her eyes were dry as she thought of her grandpa as he was when he was alive, not how he was now.
"Then start rambling on about some ancient relic from the feudal era and its origins," Souta added, rubbing his eyes.
"Oi! You calling me old pipsqueak?" Inuyasha butted in but his words didn't hold any bite to them.
"I mean you are five hundred years in the future so doesn't that make you older than that?" Souta questioned, thinking hard on it.
Kagome let out an airy laugh. "I think that makes Inuyasha about five hundred and fifty years old!"
"Eh?! Now you're joining in too, wench?!" the silver haired man whined, puffing out his cheeks.
The miko let out another giggle before she made a face. "Ew I married an old man!"
"Hey, that's your fault not mine," Inuyasha pointed out with a bark of laughter. "At least I look good for my age."
"His hair is all gray like an old man's," Souta pointed at his long locks.
Inuyasha ground his teeth together and defensively shouted, "My hair is silver, not gray you idiot!" Everyone in the room erupted into laughter, and not even Inuyasha could stop the small smile from forming on his face. Even if he was being teased it was at least making them not be so sad.
"Mama, what color was grandpa's hair?" Souta piped up as the giggling subsided. "I've only known his with gray hair."
"His hair used to be black," Mrs. Higurashi answered for him. "But he grayed rather young so I think he had gray hair longer than his natural hair color. He wasn't too happy about that," she chuckled as they all envisioned him crying over his aging hair.
After a few more questions were asked and a few more memories shared, Mrs. Higurashi deemed it time to head home so she told everyone to say their last goodbyes. Tomorrow they would make the funeral arrangements. Souta was satisfied with his farewell from earlier so he went towards the door. Their mother murmured a few more words over her own father before following after her son. "Kagome?"
The black haired woman turned towards her mother. "I'll be out in a minute Mama. I just need a moment alone with Grandpa." Her mother nodded in understanding and ushered her son out of the room while Inuyasha looked unsure about where to go. "I'll be all right, Inuyasha. Just wait out in the hall with Mom and Souta. I won't be long."
Her husband stared at her blankly, reluctant to leave her but in the end honored her wish. Hearing the door click shut behind him, Kagome finally faced the bed where her grandfather rest. The whole time she was there she avoided looking at it, not wanting to break down into tears again like she had the previous morning. With a deep breath, she made her way over to the bed, kneeling down at his side. She searched for his hand first and wrapped her fingers around the old, wrinkled appendages. His skin was cold, a complete contrast to his usual warmth. Despite this she still squeezed his hand tightly like she did when she was little.
"Hi Grandpa, it's me Kagome, your granddaughter," she began in an uneasy voice. The words stuck to the back of her throat like peanut butter but she managed to force them out and the more she talked the easier it got. "I'm glad that you are no longer in any pain. I know the sickness was hard on you but still you would pull yourself out of bed to sweep the shrine grounds and dust the relics no matter what we told you," she let out a sigh but no tears came, only numbness. "I wish I was able to see you one last time before you left. The doctor's had said you had longer to live so I was planning on visiting you in the next few days but, looks like I was too late.
"I miss you, Grandpa. I'll always miss you but you will always be alive in my heart," her hand touched her chest. "And I'll tell my child all about you and how great of a grandpa you were. I'll tell them about how you would call the school every day with the weirdest illnesses to get me out of class. About how you searched high and low for me when I first feel down the well. No matter what happens in life, you will never be forgotten, that I can promise you." With a final hand squeeze she released him, leaving the room with only one glance back, but still no tears were shed.
For the next few days were hectic as arrangements were organized mostly by Mrs. Higurashi, but Kagome helped out as much as she could. Together her hand Inuyasha stayed in her old room which remained unchanged from when she lived here.
On the day of the funeral, Kagome woke up per usual in her husband's arms. The bed was only made for one person so it was a bit of a squeeze for them to both fit. However, the couple made it work. The miko's brown eyes were met with the comforting color of pink paint on her walls. The color seemed to relax her in some way. "Inuyasha, are you awake?" she whispered, already knowing the answer.
"Of course I am, since when have I ever slept more than you? I don't need as much sleep as you humans," came his rough reply.
"There was that one time when you were sick…" Kagome reminded him with a teasing smile. He was spooning her in bed so she turned to her other side to face him, planting a kiss on cheek. "That was nice."
His bushy eyebrow knit together in confusion. "You enjoyed me being sick and miserable?"
"No silly," she brushed his bangs to the side to get a better look into his golden orbs. "I liked that I was able to take care of you since you always take care of me. Just like you are doing right now."
"It's my job to take care of you," he pointed out, looking pleased either way. "Speaking of taking care of you, do you need me to do anything specific today? I don't really know what you all do for funerals in this time period…"
Kagome kissed the frown right off of his lips. "I just need you at my side, that's all," she assured him.
Inuyasha leaned into the gentle kiss, selfishly wishing for more but recognizing that he had to wait at least a few more days until she was ready for heated make out sessions again. "That I can do."
"Oh!" the woman suddenly exclaimed, resting her hands on his chest. "You have to dress up nice today so that means no fire rat. Mom picked up a suit for you."
"What's a suit?" Inuyasha wrinkled his nose. Whatever it was it did not sound like something he would enjoy wearing.
He was right about that. "What's wrong with my clothes?" the hanyou complained, tugging at the tie that Kagome just finished wrapping around his neck like a noose. Accidently he tugged at it too hard, unraveling her careful work. He shrank away from her glare as she snatched up the tie.
"You're normal clothes are not period appropriate nor formal for this event," she snapped, moving to redo the tie before giving up. "Fine you don't have to wear the tie but you have to wear everything else."
"Even the shoes?" Inuyasha tried but regretted he uttered a single word as her glare intensified. "Please don't-AHHHH" he yelled out as she sat him. She hadn't done it in a while and boy had he not missed it one bit.
"Unbelievable!" Kagome huffed, looking over herself in the mirror. This week she had bought herself a black dress since one, she didn't own any and two, if she had it probably wouldn't have fit over her baby bump. She had curled her hair slightly for the funeral and bought on a little more make up than usual.
"You look beautiful?" Inuyasha tried from the floor, struggling against the spell.
Her glare returned to him in an instant. "Is that a question?"
"N-no! Did you want it to be one?"
"SIT BOY!"
Yes, Kagome did realize she was being unreasonable to her husband. Unfortunately for him, her hormones did not care about that right now. Even the whole ride to the funeral house she snubbed him. At least she didn't sit him again on the bus. That would have been hard to explain to the other passengers. Finally, the family arrived at their destination, Inuyasha being the first person to immediately launch himself out of the vehicle. Kagome braced herself mentally as they stepped into the building together, her hand reaching for her husband's once again.
Kagome had not shed another tear since she found out about her grandfather's death, but once the service started all of her caged emotions broke free, leaving her a sobbing mess. Inuyasha and her mother comforted her the best she could until it got to the point that her wails were disrupting the ceremony. After Inuyasha received a look from his mother in law, he swept his wife into his arms, carrying her out of the room. Once in the waiting area of the building he sat on one of the couches, resting her in his lap. The whole time she cried, Inuyasha rocked her in his arms, rubbed her back, kissed her hair, and murmured soothing words into her ears.
He did nothing to try and stop her from crying, knowing she needed to get all of her feelings out of her body. Right now what she needed was to cry and feel upset and that was ok. Death was never easy so sometimes you just have to cry. And that's ok.
Aunt Ranee 3/11/17