Celeste, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: Obviously I didn't come up with any characters myself, I wish I was JK Rowling but sadly I am me. I am not making any money off this either, as I am sure you will be able to tell when you read it.

Author Note: This is my first ever published story, I'm really nervous about it, but I hope there are a few people out there who might enjoy it.

I am open to reviews, critical ones would be lovely thank you, as I am keen to improve this story, I just thought I would whip it up and see if anybody was interested. It is currently edited only by me, so I would love a beta reader, any offers out there? :)

I'm also eternally sorry for the fact that this is a songfic, honestly it makes me cringe that I wrote it, but I think the included lyrics work, I have tried to work the story around them but they seemed to fit almost perfectly anyway, they were what gave me the idea in the beginning so I'm just going to go with it.

If you want to listen to the song it's called Celeste and it's by the talented singer/songwriter Ezra Vine

Cheers :)

I was sitting in a field of pine trees

Coaxing the words from the earth and the dirt

And, I saw the muse but the words just wouldn't come

Sunday 16th October, 1977, 4:48pm

"Black! Where've you been all afternoon? Potters' been driving me up the wall without you to distract him with your ridiculous ideas!" Lily Evans confronted Sirius Black as soon as he stumbled into the common room, her eyes narrowed and her tone accusing. Sirius' mind was still racing around the clearing in the Forbidden Forest, where he had been running wild as Padfoot for most of the afternoon, trying not to think about how all he wanted was to tell Remus. To tell Remus that he, well, that he was sure he was bloody in love with him. How bloody stupid is that? Sirius thought bitterly. Words weren't Sirius' thing though; they were more Moony's forte. Funny that. Sirius was sure he could never tell Remus without humiliating himself to the point where death would be a welcome release, so he kept his mouth shut, He didn't want to lose Remus again.

Sirius mumbled something inaudible as he tried to push past Lily. Lily could see that Sirius was grouchy and tired (what was new?), but noticed that there was something else under there, and her scowl dropped off her face, softening into something more concerned and confused.

"Black?" she said incredulously, "Black, are you upset?!"

"Sirius?! Upset! I never would have imagined!" James Potter joked as he came up behind her, grinning slightly manically. "Lily, Sirius is obviously in a strop because he hasn't been hanging with the coolest guy ever all afternoon! ... She's right though, Pads, where've you been? I've missed you!" James' voice turned into a whine at the end as he sidled past Lily to peer at Sirius from behind his glasses.

"Piss off, the both of you." Sirius grumbled as he shoved James' shoulder and attempted to storm off towards the dormitories.

"Sirius!" Lily called out, deciding to use his given name, stepping to around James follow Sirius, grabbing his arm and turning back quickly to motion to Potter to leave them, just for a minute. She, Lily Evans, was sure she knew lovesickness when she saw it. Lovesickness? Maybe it was more love-stress. Sirius does look really stressed, maybe I should try help him, she thought, shocked that she was considering helping this idiot. He was almost as bad as Potter! She was sure she hated them both, wasn't she? Hmmph... Sirius Black, in love. Who would have guessed it? Lily wracked through her mind, trying to find any recent signs of it, and found none. Well, he was always rather affectionate with his friends... if you could call beating them up and pranking them affectionate. Lily smiled at Sirius as he turned to face her, eyes down.

"Lay off, Evans." He said, fuming as he raised his eyes to glare at her from behind a lock of hair that had fallen messily across his face.

"Sirius." She said, more softly, trying to coax him into conversation. "You seem upset. I don't know why I'm even offering, but if anythings' wrong, if you want to talk... You know, what I'm trying to say is you can talk to me about whoever it is you're crushing on..."

"Evans, why the fuck would you think I have a crush on somebody?!"Sirius snapped at her, "For God's sake Evans, girls crush about me; they fawn over my mysterious, dark, handsomeness and beg me to fuck them. Nothing's wrong, Evans, nothing."

"What's wrong?" Sirius' head snapped up and Lily caught a fleeting look of something on his face, before it settled into anger again and he turned to face Remus Lupin, who had just gotten up out of a nearby armchair, his book and parchment discarded lazily. That look, Lily thought. Would she catch it again? She wondered if she had imagined it. What was it though? Surely not Remus... REMUS! OH MY GOD YES! Lily tried to hide her inner triumph and focus on the two boys in front of her, desperate to catch something more.

"Nothing's wrong, Moony! Apart from the fact that everyone's convinced something is, and Evans here won't just bugger off and let me do my charms essay." Now that was a surprise, something must be wrong if Black was willing to do homework on a Sunday. One glance at him and Lily knew Remus had picked up on this as well.

It's been awhile since I saw you, knew you

Holding your breath,

Your eyes upon the second hand

The way you looked is still there, there to me

Sunday 16th October, 1977, 4:51pm

Sirius glared at Remus, trying to hold his expression of anger, trying not to let on that all he wanted to do was kiss him, the half a metre space between them was killing him, while he frantically tried to think of something to say other than, "I fucking love you!" Remus was studying him carefully, wearing that stupid expression that made Sirius feel, for want of a less cliché way of putting it, like an open book. Remus never missed anything in a book. Sirius thought perhaps Remus already knew.

"Fuck off, Moony." was the best he could come up with as he finally broke away from everybody and huffed upstairs to the dormitory. He fell onto his bed, whipping the curtain shut and opening his charms book. Two sentences into his essay, and he was twiddling the quill between his fingers, licking his lips and thinking about how Remus had looked that morning, gazing absent-mindedly at the clock, watching the second hand tick round and round, counting down to the end of their time at Hogwarts. He remembered how Remus had looked like an angel, with the sunlight slanting on his brown hair, lighting the tips golden, filtering through his sparse eyelashes making his eyes glow amber as it neared midday. Sirius couldn't believe he noticed shit like that, God, he felt like such a sap, like a stupid thirteen year old girl fawning over her first crush. He wasn't pining after Remus. They were best friends, nothing more. Absolutely nothing was wrong. He shook his head and held the charms textbook in front of his face, forcing his eyes to follow the words, forcing his mind to think about something other than Remus fucking Lupin.

You're something out of a dream

Messing with my head

And I've been looking for you

Are you hiding?

Sunday 16th October, 1977, 4:48pm

Remus looked around as Lily Evans' voice rang from across the common room.

"Black! Where've you been all afternoon? Potters' been driving me up the wall without you to distract him with your ridiculous ideas!" He stretched slightly to peer over Lily's shoulder as she threw her hair back. It was true, James was in a pranking mood, but Peter was off attempting to sneak into Hogsmeade with some girl, something James had lost interest in as soon as Lily had turned down his invitation for her to attend, telling him that as Head Boy he had better things to do, and instead James had taken to spending last few hours jumping between Lily and Remus, who were both trying to get work done. And God knows where Sirius had gone. Peter had the map, so Remus had given up on looking for Padfoot after an hour of causing mischief with James as they trawled the castle and grounds for him. Remus wanted to distract himself from his unbearable thoughts of Sirius, and so had settled himself in the common room, surrounded by books, parchment, and an annoyingly restless James. He wasn't particularly interested in doing schoolwork, he just did a lot of it because he was always falling behind. And, if he wanted a job, as a werewolf, he needed to have exceptional grades. Life was tough. Remus was just as restless as James, but luckily for Remus, James didn't seem to have noticed that he hadn't actually written or read anything for the past half hour. Remus glanced up and caught Lily Evans staring at him, her features arranged in way that showed him she was trying to decipher something. He tried not to blush, hoping she hadn't been able to read his thoughts of his face, after all, they were rather private ones. Lily just smiled curiously at him and continued writing after that.

Now, Remus was watching Sirius over Lily's shoulder. He seemed down, and Remus thought maybe Sirius had been off 'thinking' all afternoon. What the hell does he have to think about, his thoughts only seem to consist of ideas for pranks and images of naked girls. Remus mulled over his own thoughts and took in Sirius' hair, which was mussed up and flopped in a tangle over his forehead. His face looked a bit grubby, or maybe it was just the shadow that Remus was catching from this angle. His shirt was slightly rumpled, but it wasn't the sort of disheveled that came from a kinky little rendezvous. Remus assumed he had been out as Padfoot, and wondered why he wanted to do that alone. Usually when Sirius was feeling a bit restless he would go out with Prongs for a romp. Padfoot bloody should have taken him this afternoon, and saved me all the trouble of babysitting the Head Boy, who clearly should be able to look after himself, Remus thought, a bit grumpily. He looked questioningly at Sirius, who had seemed fine this morning, sitting across from Remus in the common room and chatting idly with James and Peter. Even in Sirius' messy state, with Evans interrogating him, Remus found himself drawn to his friend, wondering if he was dreaming up the fearful, embarrassed expression Sirius seemed to be so desperately trying to hide with anger.

"-handsomeness and beg me to fuck them. Nothing's wrong, Evans, nothing." Remus hopped up at that, walking over to where Lily was clutching at Sirius's wrist, holding him captive as she tried to wheedle something out of him. Handsome? Sirius definitely is, Remus thought, smirking slightly. Sometimes he certainly wanted to beg Sirius to fuck him, though nobody needs ever know that, he thought hurriedly, nervously glancing around as he approached Lily and Sirius.

"What's wrong?" he smiled at Sirius, and when Sirius denied the fact that anything was wrong, very quickly and very harshly, it was obvious that something was. Remus knew he wouldn't tell him here, but maybe Sirius would be in the common room in the early hours of the morning, and would be tired enough to launch into a heart-to-heart with Remus. Remus was hopeful at the thought, but knew it probably wouldn't happen.

"Nothing's wrong, Moony! Apart from the fact that everyone's convinced something is, and Evans here won't just bugger off and let me do my charms essay." Remus looked skeptically at Sirius, I was right, he thought, something was very, very wrong here. Sirius was even more worked up than normal, and he had been pretty bad for the past few weeks.

"Oh, for goodness sake, Padfoot. You never do homework on the weekends, unless it's due tomorrow and you just remembered you haven't done it yet. And anyway, you'd probably rather spend two hours trying to get me to lend you mine, so you can brainlessly copy it, rather than just doing the essay yourself in half as much time." Remus studied Sirius' face. Sirius just stared at him, and it looked like he was trying to hold something back. Remus saw a glare in his eyes, anger he supposed but it seemed to be something else. Seconds stretched out that felt like hours, days, years, and Remus was overly aware of the clock ticking, louder than his pounding heart, the general noise of the common room had disappeared, all there was in the world was Sirius, Remus and the clock, marking the space between them so possessively.

Then it broke, Sirius snapped out of the trance they were held in and stormed upstairs, Remus felt Lily's eyes boring into him as he turned to face her, shrugging his shoulders and smiling benignly.

"He'll come around, I don't know why you bother worrying about him, Lily." Remus offered, running his hand down his forearm, smoothing the sleeve of his jersey.

"Clearly, I'm not the one who worries about him, Remus." Lily said softly, and Remus found himself blushing, though he desperately tried to hide it. Lily can't know, she can't! How much did I let away then? Can she read it on my face?! I should never have gone up to Sirius when she was around! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Remus scolded himself over and over in his mind as he returned to collect up his books and study bit and pieces, feeling his face burning, throbbing, probably almost purple with embarrassment at the thoughts of Sirius he found himself thinking. He'd be bloody hot having angry sex, Remus thought, before he quickly banished the thought, as he felt like the entire common room was watching him. He threw his things into his bag and exited the common room. It was unlikely he would get any more work done this afternoon.

'Cause I like the way you're calling to me

Your spell upon me

You're something out of a dream

And I like it, though I fight it

Sunday 16th October, 1977, 4:30pm

Lily didn't want to admit that she secretly liked the way James pestered her. After 6 years of hating his guts, she wasn't willing to suddenly turn around and leap into his arms, before proceeding to snog him senseless.

"Lily, Lily, come for a walk with me." James' had fallen to his knees beside her chair, practically begging her to do "something, anything, please!" with him. She forced herself to sigh irritably and flick her hair over her shoulder, gazing down at him disdainfully.

"Potter! Could you knock it off, some people are busy, and don't have time for your childish ideas of pranking and pissing everyone off."

"Lily, please, listen to me!"

"You're really starting to piss me off, actually, Potter. I hope you're happy."

I'm delightfully happy." James was grinning at her, he leaned his head against her knee, for her to promptly swat it away and shuffle along the chair until she was pressed against the opposite arm.

"Well, I'm not happy! Go away Potter!" James looked up at her in mock sorrow over his glasses.

"I'll go away if you go out with me…" James pressed his hands together under his chin and batted his eyelashes at her, adding in an over-exaggerated wink for good measure. Lily couldn't help but snigger slightly, before she quickly rearranged her features into a scowl, staring at him and twirling her wand threateningly between her fingers.

"D-d-did you just, gi-giggle?! REMUS!" James leapt up and dashed a few paces across the room, throwing himself across Remus Lupin's lap, where he was seated at the next table over. "Moony, Moony, Moony, I think the ever-endearing Lily Evans just giggled at me! She finds me humourous!"

"Humourous?" Remus was smiling at the seventeen year old boy, who was currently acting more like he was seven, who was sprawled on the couch beside him, having leapt over him and nearly kicked him in the face. "I didn't think you were joking when you asked her out just now. I think Miss Evans might be laughing at you, rather than with you, Jamie." Lily watched the interaction, grinning at Remus and shaking her head when he looked over at her. Remus curled his lips into a smirk he must have learnt off Sirius Black, and waggled his eyebrows at her. Well, he didn't really waggle them, he jittered them up and down in a slightly awkward, so very Remus way, but Lily got the drift. She flipped him the bird before turning around, but she struggled to wrestle her face back into seriousness, and had to shift her head so her hair fell in a curtain that hid her face from the two boys, trying to ignore the heat that had flooded her cheeks. Remus understands too much, she thought, sighing as she flipped over her sheet of parchment to carry on with her essay.

10 minutes passed, and she was trying to ignore James Potter as he paced up and down past her, again and again, but she felt the tension in her shoulders, and the base of her wand was digging into her palm as she clutched it, her hand shaking with pent-up irritation. Where James Potter was concerned, Lily had a lot of emotion, and though she usually used all her energy trying to smother the kindling love for him that had been building in her stomach, sometimes she just need to get her frustration out, and put him back in line. She was Head Girl, after all. If anyone could tell Potter what to do, it was Lily Evans.

"For goodness SAKE!" she cried, leaping up, earning a few startled looks from around the common room, she noticed the amusement on Remus' face as her eyes flicked over him, to glare at the subject of her annoyance, the one and only James bloody Potter. "Potter! Stop storming up and down here and go find somewhere else to drive people up the wall!" Her words rushed out in a flurry and she realised she didn't quite make sense, and she huffed, but noticed an unmistakable shaggy black mop clambering through the portrait-hole, followed by the gangly limbs of Potters best friend.

"Black! Where've you been all afternoon? Potters' been driving me up the wall without you to distract him with your ridiculous ideas!"