This was written as a challenge; it was a joke and she said she didn't really want it to happen, so I was obligated to make it happen. Enjoy!
This insane mashup of characters belongs to me; please don't blame the authors who created the characters for the twisted workings of my brain.
"Artemis will be fine," Alice said. "Jane has him well in hand. You can relax." She said, stroking Butler's cheek and gazing soulfully into his sapphire orbs.
Butler gazed soulfully back. "I'm not worried about his finding mischief. I'm worried about him discovering… this." He gestured to the two of them, locked in a lovers' embrace, and grimaced shamefully. "This thing between us, it's wrong. It takes us away from our duties, nay, our destinies. I feel that Artemis is the other side of my proverbial coin, and I'm fated to protect him always."
Alice held his face to her heaving bosom. "So protect him by always focusing on him in his presence. If you deny yourself this, now, you will be thinking about me when it should be him. Let us have these few precious sinful moments so that we may return to our mundane everyday lives knowing we could have been more."
Butler gave a few more necessary but insincere protests, before giving way before Alice's desire. As their lips met, sparks of passion flew between them, igniting the atmosphere with the ephemeral euphoria of their clandestine tryst. They made passionate love secluded there in their love nest, secure in the knowledge that ridiculing Jane and Edward would occupy Artemis long enough for them to have this bubble of time to themselves to carry them over the tempestuous tides of the rest of their lonely lives, dedicated to serving those they loved but who would never appreciate their sacrifices.
As they lay in the aftermath of their passion, Butler was the first to hear a calling; "Mrs. Fairfax! Where have you absconded to?" followed shortly by a younger snootier voice, "Butler! I'm bored! We're leaving!"
As they pieced their tattered selves back together, avoiding eye contact at all costs, they tried to merely clasp hands but ended up with Alice held tight yet again in Butler's strong arms.
"I will always love you," he whispered into her flaxen locks, "always."
"I will never forget you," she whispered into his taut chest, "never."
He gazed soulfully into her tear filled eyes before turning away, lest the drops in his own should fall.