A/N: I guess you could say this story takes place in a world where season two does not exist. It's not AU exactly, but it doesn't strictly follow the SWAC timeline. It does deal with some grown-up issues so tread carefully.
Weighted Matters
"You know what's great about Mondays?" asks Sonny.
"Nothing." Tawni glances up from her compact mirror, her pink lips pouting. "I hate Mondays."
The two teen stars are sitting in Condor Studio's commissary, half-heartedly picking at their lunches during their one-hour lunch break. The remaining three members of their show are spending their break in the Prop House, prepping a sketch for the upcoming show on Friday. Sonny and Tawni's Check it Out Girls sketch rehearsal went off without a hitch, giving the two girls a little time off to unwind before they have to regroup with everyone else.
It's a slow, quiet kind of day. Sonny and Tawni's movements are lethargic, their conversations unhurried. The So Random actresses remain mostly silent as they enjoy a respite from the draining demands of producing sketch comedy. Only Sonny's attempt at small talk is enough to break the spell.
"The food," the young brunette explains as she twirls her spaghetti around her fork, un-twirls and twirls again. She doesn't actually take a bite. "The cafeteria always has good food on Mondays."
"How can you eat that?" Tawni asks as she sets her mirror down. In front of her is a plate of salad piled high with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, spinach, onions and a Thousand Island dressing. It easily has twice the amount of calories as Sonny's spaghetti lunch, and is probably just as unhealthy. Plus it's her second helping. "Chad's beach party is two weeks away. Don't you wanna look awesome in your bathing suit?"
This catches Sonny's attention. "Chad's beach party?"
"Chad's 'Beach Party Bonanza'. He throws one every summer. Didn't you get the invitation?" Tawni reaches into her tiny purse, pulling out a laminated blue index card.
Sonny plucks the card out of Tawni's hand and turns it over. She frowns as she reads it. "Ok, this only says "Party" "Saturday" and "Be There". How is anyone supposed to know where to show up? Or what time?"
"Only the cool people get to find out." Tawni tosses her hair behind her shoulder, snatching the card back from Sonny.
"You have no idea, do you?"
"Ugh, no!" Tawni huffs in annoyance. "I'm a second tier."
"A what-tier?"
"A second tier. Chad always divides his party guests into three levels: the VIPs, the first tiers and the second tiers." Tawni ticks off the three groups with her fingers. "The VIPs get the time and location of the party. The first tiers just get the time, and the second tiers have to figure both out by themselves. Otherwise they don't go."
Sonny can't help but laugh. "That's so dumb."
"It's not dumb!" Tawni protests. "Tiered parties all the rage in Europe."
"Says who?"
"Says Tween Weekly." Tawni says with far more confidence than anybody should have while quoting from a trashy tabloid magazine. "And don't even think about asking me to help you. It's every woman for herself."
"What do VIP invitations look like anyway?"
"I've never actually gotten one," Tawni says with a shrug. "But I think they're supposed to be in a gold envelope."
"Gold…" Sonny hums in thought. She shifts around so she can reach into the pocket of her dress. Her fingers close around a shiny, gold envelope, pulling it out to show Tawni. "Like this one?"
Tawni lunges for the item in Sonny's hand. Sonny narrowly avoids a paper cut by quickly letting go. "No way! You're a VIP? Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't know what it was," says Sonny. "Chad gave it to me this morning. I just thought it was another receipt for his dry cleaning bill. Spill grape juice on a designer suit one time…"
Tawni petulantly tosses her blue card on the table, her French tip fingernails tracing the edge of Sonny's envelope. "This is so unfair! I've been in Hollywood longer than you and I've never gotten a VIP invitation to anything. Why can't Chad have a crush on me?"
"Chad doesn't have a crush on me," Sonny sputters in protest. All she receives from Tawni is an incredulous look. "He probably just wants to rub my face in his 'Awesome Pool Party Extravaganza'."
"'Beach Party Bonanza'. You have to open it and tell me what it says."
Sonny takes the invitation out of Tawni's hands. "I thought it was every woman for herself."
"That was before I knew you were invited!"
Sonny simply raises her eyebrows.
"Come on, Sonny." Tawni's voice is getting higher, a sign that she's desperate. "We're friends right? You're always saying I'm the sister you've always wanted."
"I've never said that."
"Well, I'm sure you're thinking it. Please. Please! I'll do anything!"
"Why do you even want to go to Chad's party?" Sonny asks. "You hate Chad."
"Yeah, but Chad throws the best parties. Last year he flew twenty people to his own private island in the Caribbean, Anti-Goo-ah."
Sonny twists her mouth in confusion. "You mean Antigua? That's not a private island. It's one half of a country."
"Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe." Tawni gives a dismissive wave. "The point it is, I should be a VIP. I'm pretty! Good things are supposed to happen to pretty people."
"Well," Sonny says standing up with her full plate of spaghetti in one hand and the coveted gold envelope in the other. "If you ask nicely, maybe I'll let you tag along."
She doesn't need to glimpse back to see the exasperated expression on Tawni's face, her eyes twitching at the humiliation of having to ask Sonny for help getting into an exclusive Hollywood Party. Sonny figures she'll probably cave before the end of the day. She doesn't often get the upper hand, but she intends to enjoy it while it lasts.
Sonny knows there are girls far more beautiful than she is. Girls with silky, wavy hair and tall, thin bodies that sway when they strut in their platform heels. Girls who turn heads when they enter a room and stay on everyone's minds once they leave. Girls like Tawni, who thrive under bright spotlights and flashing cameras. Girls like Portlyn, whose sultry pouts turn confident men into bumbling buffoons. Girls who radiate beauty and poise and grace in ways that Sonny herself does not.
Sonny doesn't normally like to dwell on her flaws, no matter how numerous and consuming they may feel. No one is without insecurities. She knows, for example, that Tawni's greatest vanity is her hands. She treats them with manicures and moisturizers to keep them as soft and ladylike as her money will allow. Portlyn tucks away her pale legs in knee high stockings and opaque tights; sometimes even in the dead heat of summer.
Sonny is insecure about her stomach.
She's not overly sensitive about it in general. Mostly because it's usually covered and well out of sight. But standing in front of the floor length mirror in a Nordstrom dressing room, clothed only in a two-piece swimsuit, the magnitude of her imperfections hit her full force. And it's not just her stomach, she realizes. Her thighs, her hips, her butt, all suddenly appear disproportionately large under the harsh lights. She holds her breath and twists around, analyzing her profile from the side.
It wouldn't take much, she thinks. Just losing a few pounds in the right places and some ab crunches and she'll be more than ready for Chad's beach party. She simply needs to be disciplined for a little while. Then, after the party, she can go back to stuffing herself full of carbs and fats and sugars to her heart's content.
"Sonny!" Tawni shakes the dressing room door handle. "If you don't come out in five seconds I'm coming in!"
Sonny jumps, dropping her hands from her stomach and scrambling for her clothes. She and Tawni have spent the better part of Wednesday afternoon bathing suit shopping. And while Tawni found a flattering outfit in less than 30 minutes, Sonny still can't seem to find one that highlights her best features while hiding her more obvious flaws. The last thing she wants is for Tawni to see her like this, tentative and uncomfortable in an outfit that does nothing for her body. She has a feeling she'd never live it down. "No! Don't—wait one second, I'm almost done!"
"Well hurry up!" Tawni whines. "I need to pick up Princess from the doggy spa!"
Sonny manages to tug her shirt down over her head just as Tawni swings through the door uninvited.
"Too late!" she says cheerfully. She spots the red bikini on the floor and picks it up. "Are you getting this?"
Sonny eyes the piece of clothing carefully. "I don't know. Maybe."
"It's cute, I guess." Tawni tries to appear disinterested, fighting against every fiber of her being to give Sonny anything that could be misconstrued as a compliment. But Sonny can see Tawni clenching the bikini in her hand, staring at it with that hungry look she gets when she sees something she just has to have.
"You like it?" Sonny asks. It is a pretty nice suit. At least, it looks great on the hanger. Sonny's more concerned with how it will look once it's actually on her.
"Not as cute as mine, obviously," Tawni amends. "But you might be the second cutest girl at Chad's party. After me, of course."
"Be nice to me. I'm getting you in, remember?" Sonny waves a finger teasingly in Tawni's direction.
"Ugh. Are you gonna hold that over my head forever?"
"Yup!"
"Whatever. Get dressed. I'm buying dinner tonight."
Sonny glances down at her clothes in confusion. "I am dressed."
"Oh, right." Tawni sniffs in the direction of Sonny's clothes. She drops the bathing suit. "I guess I just forgot how hideous your outfit was today. Come on, I'm hungry."
"Um." Sonny hesitates, her eyes flickering between the bikini and the full length mirror. Tawni glows underneath the lighting, her blonde hair illuminated, her pink dress highlighting her slim figure. She looks like a supermodel; Sonny feels more akin to a troll. "Actually, I had a pretty big lunch so I'm not really hungry. I think I'm just gonna head home."
If Tawni notices anything amiss, she doesn't give any indication. "Suit yourself."
The two girls part ways at the cash register. Sonny watches as Tawni bounces out the exit, her shopping bags swinging beside her. The red bikini feels heavy in Sonny's bag, both a promise and an omen.
Sonny bursts into her mom's bedroom like a firecracker Thursday morning, lifting the blinds to let the early dawn sun shine in.
"Morning, mom! Are you up? It's a beautiful day, isn't it? I just came from a light jog. Five miles, nothing too intense. Can I make you something? You want waffles? I'm gonna make you waffles!"
Sonny's sneakers tap against the hard-wood floor as she jogs in place. Her forehead is slick with sweat, her clothes cling to her body and her eyes are wild with adrenaline. She smiles manically at her poor, befuddled mother. Connie's only response to her hyper-activeness is to slowly blink the sleep out of her eyes. She turns her head to the clock on her bedside table, pulling the covers up tighter around her body.
"Honey," she cuts herself off with a yawn and tries again. "Sonny, it's five o'clock in the morning. What're you doing up?"
"Couldn't sleep," is Sonny's rapid-fire response. "Just thought I'd get in a little exercise before work."
Connie snorts. "You? You won't even get off the couch to change the channel when the remote's missing."
"It's a new day. If you get ready in, like, 10 minutes we can jog around the block together!"
Connie struggles to sit up, reaching over to put on her glasses. She eyes her daughter carefully. "Everything ok, sweetie?"
"Yup! Great. Fine. Why?"
"You skipped dinner because you weren't feeling well yesterday. I'm surprised to see you so… energetic."
"I ate too much with Tawni last night, that's all." Sonny brushes her dark hair out of her eyes, giving her shaking hands something to do.
"Have you had breakfast yet?" Connie asks, leaning back against the pillows.
"I'll probably grab something at the studio. I still need to shower." Sonny puts her hands on her hips, lifting her right leg up to her stomach, than her left, than her right. She stares down at her mother eagerly. "Are you coming, mom?"
Connie shakes her head with a small laugh. "I think I'm gonna sit this one out."
"If you say so." Sonny plants a kiss on her mom's cheek, backing out of the room as quickly as she bounced into it. "I'll run an extra lap around the block for you!"
She hears her mom order her to take it easy, but she's far enough away to pretend not to hear. Only 9 more days. She just has to push herself for 9 more days, and then she can go back to sleeping in and drenching her breakfast waffles in buttery maple syrup.
Sonny smells the chocolate chip muffin before it's placed on the table in front of her.
"Here."
The commissary is loud and busy, which is probably the only reason Chad is talking to her this morning. He wants a place to sit and someone to entertain him. Sonny and her empty table provide him with both.
"The lunch lady gave me an extra one," Chad says, pulling out the chair across from Sonny and flopping down in his seat.
Sonny knows he's lying, but spares him the indignity of calling him out. It's not every day the superstar does something nice simply for the sake of being nice. She grins and pulls the plate towards her. Then she remembers. "Thanks, but I already ate."
Her stomach chooses this minute to growl loudly. Sonny flushes as Chad raises an eyebrow at her. He leans backwards in his chair until he's balancing on two legs, so effortlessly assured in his every action and movement. Not for the first time Sonny finds herself envying his unwavering self-confidence.
"Yeah, I can tell." He doesn't take back the muffin though. Just keeps his gaze on her while she eyes the delicious pastry. It's tempting, but she's lasted this long on her crash diet. She's not about to break it now. If she's still hungry in an hour she'll probably snack on a granola bar.
"What do you want, Chad?"
"You never RSVP'd. That's generally the polite thing to do when someone invites you to their party."
"I didn't think I needed to." Sonny picks at the wrapper around the muffin but refrains from taking a bite. "I just assumed that you assume everyone you invite will show up."
"True. It's not like it's a Random party." Sonny makes sure Chad can see her roll her eyes. "But I like to get a head count, just so everyone knows exactly how popular I am."
"Well, as much as I hate feeding your ego, I will be there." Her hands are busy pulling out the chocolate chips from the muffin, lining them up on the plate to form a smiling face. At the last minute Sonny turns the smile upside down. She thinks that better matches her mood this morning.
"Are you bringing anyone?" Chad tries to sound nonchalant, picking at the label on his blazer. But Sonny can see his blue eyes peeking out under his eyelashes, gauging her response.
"Yup." Sonny lets him squirm for a little bit, watches as he tries to form that magical combination of words that will get her to explain what she means without him having to sound eager for her answer. She decides to put him out of his misery before he can speak up again. "I'm bringing Tawni."
He visibly relaxes, and then squares his shoulders when he catches himself showing his relief. "Oh. Cool."
"Speaking of Tawni, why'd you give her a blue invitation and me a gold one? I mean, you knew I was gonna tell her, right?"
Chad laughs. "Yeah, but it's fun to mess with her head."
Sonny can't help but beam in response, holding his gaze for a second too long. She glances down and clears her throat. "I better get back to rehearsals."
"Right, right. You guys definitely need all the practice you can get."
Sonny resists the urge to push his chair the rest of the way backwards and him along with it. "How would you know? Are you finally watching our show?"
"You wish. I saw the ratings from last week's episode. Even a repeat of Pauly and Pals did better than you guys."
Sonny stands up. "Bye, Chad."
"See you at my party!" Chad calls, resting his hands at the back of his head.
Sonny storms out of the commissary, the demolished but otherwise uneaten muffin left on the table.
A/N: Chapter two is already written. It just needs to be fine-tuned.