Once Upon a Time is the property of ABC and Adam Horowitz and Eddy Kitsis.

I'm With You

They were walking back through the trees, quiet, both lost in their own thoughts, but the tension between them was ebbing away now that they'd talked, really talked.

Suddenly, she stumbled over a tree root or a fallen branch, and he caught her quickly.

She huffed out a breath, surprised at the stumble and at his quick reflexes. Her thoughts had been miles away and she'd stumbled because of it: she didn't expect he'd catch her so easily, caught up in his own thoughts as he likely was.

'Thank you,' she said quietly, meeting his eyes quickly and looking down just as fast, her sudden proximity to him making her nervous, making her heart flutter. 'Sorry, I don't know where my head was,' she murmured lamely.

'With our son, I'm sure,' he said gently, 'same as mine.'

She looked up again, the gentleness, the understanding, in his tone making her relax somehow. His mention of their son made it easier for her to tear her thoughts away from how it felt to be close to him again. It wasn't the time for thinking of that now, she told herself. She was grateful for him saying what he'd said at the well, for him opening up, for him, after all, wanting what she wanted. Unconsciously, no longer nervous, she relaxed into his arms, smoothing a crease in his coat.

He loosened his hold, prepared for her to step away, but she didn't. She stood there, looking at him, and he was afraid to speak, to ruin the moment, because he hadn't seen softness in her eyes for so long.

She was remembering what he'd said about finding a way to help Gideon, and everyone else. She knew he meant it, knew he was sincere. For so long, she hadn't been able to trust him, hadn't been able to be close to him. With Gideon to think of, she couldn't be around Rumple, though she never stopped loving him. She'd wanted everything to be right between them, wanted them to be on the same page, for once, for always. Now, things weren't right, not by a long way, but she understood him better, or she was beginning to anyway. It was a start. They were on the same page, at last.

'Are you alright?' he asked softly.

She nodded. 'Yeah,' she said, her voice lighter than it had been in an age. 'I was just thinking.'

'About Gideon,' he guessed.

'Yes, and you.'

'Me?' he asked, surprised. It honestly shocked him that there was any room in her thoughts for him when their son was in so much danger.

'I was thinking that I think I understand you better now,' she said quietly, looking at him, ' why you've done what you've done, why you reach for your magic. It's hard for you not to, isn't it?'

'Yes,' he agreed, waiting to see if she'd say more.

She nodded. 'I guess that's why, even when I don't like it or ask you not to, and sometimes force you not to, when things are difficult, it's the thing you go to for…for consolation, for a way out.'

'Yes.' She did understand. 'Like I said, I'm addicted to it…but…'

'I know: you don't want that for our son.'

He shook his head. 'I don't, but that's not what I was gonna say.'

'What, then?' she asked, holding her breath, seeing the vulnerability in his eyes.

'I want to be free of it, Belle,' he said simply, truthfully. 'I wasn't lying when I said I was tired of being the beast, I just…didn't know what else to be, but maybe now…' He trailed off.

'Go on,' she pleaded, 'I'm listening.'

'Maybe I can change.'

Belle didn't answer. He took her silence for doubt. It wasn't exactly doubt: she just wanted him to say more, to make her believe he wanted to change.

'I know,' he said: 'I've said that before and let you down. And it's true, maybe I can't change, but I want to.'

'You never said that before,' she said, nearly breathless.

'No,' he agreed.

'What changed?' she asked, staring up at him. 'You made it sound like you were happy, like that was who you were and you didn't want to change.'

'I know. I was lying. You knew that, didn't you?'

'I don't know that I knew,' she said, 'but I hoped. I hoped you'd…'

'Come to my senses?'

'I guess so. Stop being complacent, stop hiding behind the mask.'

'You told me you'd always known who I really was and that was why you loved me.'

'Love,' she said, 'not loved.'

He smiled, a soft, grateful smile.

'Thank you. Thank you, Belle.' He was cupping her elbows and gave them a gentle squeeze. 'You've no idea how much I appreciate hearing you say that.'

'Well, it's true,' she said, 'I never stopped loving you. I just wanted you to be honest with me, to let me in.'

He smiled wryly. 'You married a difficult man, Belle, a secretive man, a frightened man. I was afraid to let you in, afraid you couldn't really love me, though you gave me every proof that you did…do. I suppose I was blinded by my fears, and the one thing that could soothe them was the magic. No matter what I lost, who I lost, I had the magic, and that didn't leave, but I know, now, that that was the problem all along. I thought magic could fix everything, but it cost me everything. Well, I've learned my lesson now.'

'What changed?' she asked.

'The price of magic was too high.'

'It was?'

He nodded, smiling a little. 'Magic may have gotten me my son, but the price was losing you forever. That's a price I wasn't willing to pay.'

'S-so you chose me?' she asked, her voice shaking.

'Yes,' he said. 'I simply decided what I couldn't live without. When it all came down to it, that wasn't the magic: it was you, you and Gideon, my family.'

She smiled. She realised that, in spite of what he'd said, the decision probably wasn't simple at all, and that made her all the more pleased and happy, and awed, that he'd made it.

'Rumple,' she whispered, hope blooming in her.

He shook his head. 'Don't say anything.'

'Why not?'

'Because it's all very well to tell you all of this, but I still need to show you I mean it. Actions speak louder than words. To be honest, Belle, I don't know if I can get out of this vicious cycle, but I want to try: I will try.'

Belle squeezed his arms. 'That's all anyone could ask of you, and it's all I want, all I ever wanted.'

He smiled. 'I know.'

She blinked. 'I can't help wondering…'

'What?' he asked, alarmed at the glittering in her eyes.

'If you'd had more love…if I hadn't left, maybe…'

'And you wouldn't have been true to yourself if you'd stayed,' he said, 'and we'd have ended up here anyway eventually, or maybe somewhere worse. You loved me better than anyone else in my very long life, Belle. I broke your heart, more than once, and I had - have - no right to want or expect more than you gave, since you gave me everything.'

'But I broke your heart too,' she sniffled.

He rubbed her arms. 'Which you never would've done if I hadn't hurt you first.'

'That doesn't excuse the things I said and did,' she protested.

'You were hurt and alone and afraid.'

'But so were you.'

'Even so,' he said, leaning closer, 'Belle, the truth is, that despite all the pain, I've been happier for having known you than I would have been if we'd never met.'

'So have I,' she agreed, smiling, her eyes shining.

'And I don't know what the future may hold for us, but what's important now is saving our son, and stopping this war.'

'Yes,' she agreed.

'Have I told you I like the name?' he asked.

'You do?'

He nodded. 'Gideon: it's a strong name,' he said quietly.

'I'm glad you like it,' she said. 'It's from—'

'Your book,' he said, anticipating her: 'your favourite book.'

'Yeah,' she said, and then her expression clouded over. 'This is my fault,' she declared, tears coming into her eyes again.

'Belle, don't,' he murmured.

'No, I did this to him: I gave him this impossible expectation. I told him I wanted him to be a hero: I—'

'I would have told him the same thing,' he interjected, holding her gently. 'You wanted the best for him: that's all, Belle. In your shoes, of course I would have said the same thing. Don't be like me, son: be a hero, like your mum.'

She shook her head. 'I'm not a hero, Rumple,' she said miserably.

'Yes, you are,' he said gently. 'You're the most heroic person I've ever met.'

She made a bitterly amused sound. 'How do you figure that?'

'Because you always want to do the right thing.'

She laughed outright now. 'Yeah, and look how well that turned out.'

'You don't always have the best methods, but you do always have good intentions. You're not selfish, Belle, not like me.'

'Wasn't it selfish to keep our son from you?'

'Did I give you any reason to believe I could be trusted with him? No, I didn't,' he said, answering his own question. 'You were afraid of me: I know, and I'm sorry.'

'But I know you were afraid too,' she said, stroking his arm. 'We've done some terrible things to each other, Rumple: I'm sorry too.'

He nodded, acknowledging it. 'What's done is done, in the past: it's useless to torment ourselves about it now. What we can do, I hope, is learn from our mistakes.'

She nodded eagerly. 'I hope that too: I want that.'

He smiled. 'Then we understand each other.' He looked as relieved as she felt.

She smiled.

'So now,' he began.

'We find our son,' she continued, 'and save him, save everyone.'

'Together.'

'Together,' she agreed, ready to go with him, to fight by his side.

He stepped back, releasing her. They began to walk. After a few steps, she slipped her hand quietly into his. He looked at her and she met his look. She smiled a little.

He squeezed her hand gratefully, knowing what the gesture meant: I'm with you. In step, they walked on.

The end