Uh oh...Moonclaw has crept into the Metroid fandom...

So, my brother and I went on a Metroid play kick, and by that, I mean we got through most of Metroid Fusion. (A few rage quits later and we still haven't beaten it...or the first Prime...and sadly that leaves just Super Metroid left on our list of games we've played for this series) and as such, like always, we came up with some fun jokes while playing it.

If you don't have a sense of humor, then you won't like this, so you probably shouldn't read it.

I make fun of games I love, that is a fact, so don't take anything I say in this story too hard or serious.

Also, my brother and I picture Samus...very differently from how we think most people would or how (I guess) she's supposed to be...all well.

I don't own this game, or series, or these characters. I know that this will shock all of you, but you'll have to get over it and carry on.

Enjoy!

(There is some swearing in this)

The bell that signaled the beginning of the tribunal meeting chimed and made Samus roll her eyes. She had way better things to do then sit here and go over what happened on the B.S.L Station.

It exploded.

What more of an explanation did they want?

The Federation had wanted to, for reasons she didn't really get, not kill the X. That plan was stupid, so Samus changed it.

End of story.

This was a waste of her time.

"Samus,"

"Huh?" she said, looking up, "No, no, I was listening."

Those gathered looked around at each other skeptically. She had missed their introductions, but she was sitting close enough to the man in the middle of the semi-circle to read his name tag.

"Please continue, Sakamoto," she said, trying her best to sound like she actually cared.

He made a face, "Its Admiral Sakamoto,"

Samus rolled her eyes again.

Nevertheless, he did continue; "We are here to discuss your mission to the B.S.L Research Station," He flipped through some of the papers in front of him. "We've been looking over you logs for the mission and have a few questions,"

"If you read my logs, then you should already know what happened. Why do I have to be here?" Samus asked, annoyed.

"Your logs aren't exactly the…most reliable sources of information." Sakamoto muttered.

Samus was insulted, "Hey, what's that supposed to mean? I keep very detailed logs,"

"Your log for mission-"

Samus zoned out while they read the lengthy record file number for whatever mission they wanted to talk about before the one she was actually supposed to be here to discuss.

"Which one was that again?" she asked once they had paused.

Sakamoto was not impressed. He sighed, "The one that started when the Ceres Space Colony was destroyed."

"Oh, right," Samus said, leaning back in her chair, "That one. That mission was a success; my log indicates as such,"

"Your log is just your own take on things! It says you're the protector of the universe, too." Sakamoto commented acidly.

"…I am," she said, frowning.

He sighed again, "Your mission was to rescue the baby Metroid; it died,"

"And?"

"What do you mean, 'and'? That was your mission! How can you say it was a success when you didn't complete the objective?" he asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"Because, I killed some space pirates, some Metroids…Ridley, Kraid and Mother Brain…again…seems like a pretty good success!" Samus said, nodding.

Sakamoto stared at her for a long moment. "…Zebes exploded,"

"I know!" she exclaimed, grinning.

"Not a good thing…and I would deem this mission a failure,"

"I don't really care what you would deem a failure or not," she pointed out. "My respect for you is so low, you could hide a secret Metroid breeding program beneath it."

Those present glared at her. She just shrugged, unconcerned.

She certainly wasn't here to be liked.

"Samus, people always leave the room before you, because we're worried it's going to explode behind you! You're infamous for things going 'boom' when you're around." one of the other council members pointed out, voice not as grating as Sakamoto's.

"That doesn't seem like a bad reputation to have…" she pondered. "Besides, things don't always explode,"

Sakamoto held up a hand and listed items off his fingers; "Zebes, Dark Aether, Phaaze, SR388, the Bottle Ship, the B.S.L station, the Oubliette, the Leviathan Battleship, the Ceres Space Colony, The Frigate Orpheon,"

"You know, some of those weren't exactly my doing…" Samus remarked, holding up her index finger.

"Four planets, Samus. Planets! Not to mention, what is that…three ships and some assorted space stations?"

"I don't know what you want from me. I'm fine, my ship is fine, my missiles are fine and I even went back to rescue the jumpy gremlins and the speed bird!" she complained, "I didn't have to do that, you know. That mission was a success, whether or not you think it was."

They exchanged another round of looks and Sakamoto sighed once again before shuffling his papers some more. "Regardless, we need to get back to the topic at hand; what was the first thing you thought of when being sent to the B.S.L Research Station?"

"My ship." she answered immediately. "I missed my old ship. The one you guys gave me was…okay, I guess. But it needs a coat of paint at least. Purple? Are you serious?"

Sakamoto scowled at her, "You're not keeping it,"

"Oh, then it's going to blow up…" Samus said, trailing off. "But come on, how am I supposed to get around the galaxy without a ship? And why'd you bother making it look like my helmet if I wasn't going to be allowed to keep it?"

"The guy who designed it was apparently a fan," one of the other members said.

Samus grinned, "Well, who isn't?"

"You're not keeping the ship. It's going to be returned to the Federation."

"I'm keeping it,"

"You can't,"

Samus tossed her hands up and spoke up in a triumphant tone of voice, "And you said I couldn't blow up a planet, either! Proved you wrong!"

Sakamoto looked confused, "That…wasn't a dare, Samus. We meant you shouldn't blow up planets,"

"Oh," she said, drawing the word out. "That makes more sense…"

There were murmurs throughout before they began all over again. "What did you think of the X?"

Samus frowned, "I thought it was weird. I mean, I've been to SR388 before, you may remember that? When you sent me to kill all the Metroid there because, you know, they were dangerous?"

Sakamoto glared at her pointed comment so she continued, "I was up and down that planet, in every hole, slime pit, sees pool; I got monster blood, monster spit, monster…I don't even know all over me and I never once saw one of those X thingies. Seemed a little strange."

"The X and the Metroid are natural enemies. So, when you killed all the Metroid, the X could thrive."

Samus stared at him flatly, "Thanks for the biology lesson. My point is, I found it strange."

"What about the station? What did you think of that?"

"The BS station?"

Sakamoto blinked, "B.S.L,"

"Right, that's what I said." she waved off his comment. "I thought it was laid out poorly. I mean, you put the temperamental boiler in the fire sector. That, and I thought everyone who worked there were probably dead, but, you know, I don't really care. I mean, I wanted to blow it right off the bat,"

"Hey, computerized boss," Samus said, interrupting her latest objective. "I don't get it. If everyone is dead, why can't I just blow this thing and go home?"

"We have not confirmed that the crew and workers are deceased," the computer informed her.

Samus blinked, "Oh, you're still thinking they aren't dead? That's…optimistic of you,"

Sakamoto didn't make mention of her assumption that everyone was dead, but he did continue to bug her with questions. "And the computerized C.O, what did you think of that?"

"I thought it was stupid," Samus said. "I mean, the nickname I gave it should prove that you,"

He rolled his eyes.

She sighed, "Why bother having someone order me around at all? Just let me go do my job; killing bad things and blowing things up. Don't micro-manage me, it's stupid. You should have just sent me to the station and let me go wild."

"We had hopes to salvage the station," he informed her tartly.

Samus shrugged, "Then why send me? I mean, come on, salvage opts aren't my thing…" She grinned, "But, you know, who else can do what I do? Am I right, or am I right? Whoever else you sent would have died, clearly."

Sakamoto was unimpressed again and glossed right over her comments. "So, the computer,"

"Oh, yeah, naggy as hell. This one time, I tried my best to avoid it…"

The navigation rooms were always too quiet, and not by actual lack of sound. They just were too open and empty.

Samus glanced at the computer screen, noting the fuzzy lines and the blinking console that indicated a message. She shifted her gaze to the door across the pad.

The Fusion Suit was way easier to jump in then her old Power Suit, and it made less noise when she landed on the other side of the pad.

The door hatch was locked and she growled, "Damn it, I don't want to talk to you…"

She looked around and didn't even see a sizeable air vent to crawl through.

Hanging her head, she stomped over and tapped a few keys, glaring at the screen as it crackled.

"What?" Samus said, crossing her arms. "I still want to blow this thing up, but that's apparently not going to happen, so what's next?"

"You need to go to Sector 1 (SRX). The X are-"

Samus cut in, "Hey, quick question; which sector has the illegal experiments in it?"

"…We don't have any of those," the computer retorted.

She made a face, "Sure you don't…"

"Anyway, in Sector 1 (SRX), the X-"

Samus interrupted again. "I swear to God, if I find Metroid growing on this thing, I'm done."

The computer sighed, actually sighed, and replied in an annoyed fashion, "You won't find Metroid, Samus."

"I just want that to be clear; if I see one Metroid or even half a Metroid, I'm taking my new ship and suit and I'm done."

"Just go to Sector 1 (SRX) already!"

"Fine, I will!"

"Fine!"

Sakamoto shifted uncomfortably, "Why…did you think there would be anything illegal on the station?"

Samus just stared flatly at him, "Because,"

"…How does that answer my question?"

"I'm Samus Aran."

"That…isn't an answer, either," he complained.

She shrugged, "It is, you just don't get it. Besides, that corpse of Ridley on ice? What the hell?"

"You saw that before going to Sector 1?" Sakamoto said in a confused fashion. "But at that point you had not obtained the Varia suit upgrade. How did you survive the sub-zero freezer. And why did you go in there to begin with?"

"I'm Samus Aran," she repeated. "Besides, I figured you probably hid something in that room since it was on the main deck. I wanted to check it out."

Sakamoto frowned, "We didn't intend to actually do anything with that corpse,"

"Right," she commented, disbelieving.

He crossed his arms, "If the X ended up using it, that's not our fault."

"Like Space Pirates? Why bother recreating them? And in a trench, too? Why was I required to maneuver down that?" Samus complained, crossing her arms to mirror him. "I wasn't really impressed with you guys and how you handled the situation,"

"We sent you upgrades," Sakamoto retorted. "And the Space Pirates were created by the X,"

Samus rolled her eyes, "The X have to copy forms from something, they don't just make shit up. And the upgrades?"

The data beam transferred a bio-electric current through the Fusion Suit, adjusting the parameters and changing her arm cannon to create missiles. It felt a little different then how it worked in her power suit, but it didn't matter.

She had her favorite weapon back.

Samus hopped off the data platform happily and glanced at the read out on her arm.

"Ten?" she exclaimed, insulted. "Ten missiles? They gave me ten?!"

She let one loose into a nearby wall just to throw a fit before yelling at the empty room, "Ugh! Ten missiles won't even last me this room!"

She stomped through the door, annoyed and disappointed. "I'm going to tell stupid computerized Adam to let HQ know they're stingy bastards…"

"So, just in case he never relayed that message," Samus said, "Your stingy bastards."

Sakamoto looked angry and scowled, but she added as an afterthought, "And you tried to withhold the diffusion missiles from me! That's just mean."

"We had concerns that you've grown to powerful." he informed her as if it was a serious problem.

Samus frowned, "That's not my problem…"

He sighed, "Moving on, we want to ask you about the X known as SA-X."

"I thought the name was lame," Samus began, "But, Adam named it, so…you know. I wanted to call it something else…something catchy…Darth Samus, or Samus 2.0, or even Sawus."

"Sawus?"

"You know, you swap the M and the W to make something evil?" she said. "Anyway, I had a discussion with the computer about it…"

"Wait, you didn't just space my infected Power Suit?" Samus nearly screeched. "What the hell is wrong with you people? I mean, what? Did you need it for something?"

"…"

"Do not tell me you were trying to make more clones," Samus said, glaring at the computer.

"Or just recode the suit to someone else." The computer explained. "Someday you will die, and the universe needs Samus Aran."

"Well," she huffed, "I can't argue with that logic, but still, this is all your fault."

"You will have to avoid SA-X for now. If you see it, don't engage, merely run. Later we'll have to devise a way for you to combat it, but for now, you aren't strong enough."

"Says you," Samus retorted automatically. "But, yes, we need a plan for me to deal with it, because, let's face it; if I can't stop it," she broke off to chuckle, "You guys are screwed."

"…"

"Hey, what if SA-X tries to take my ship?" she mentioned, frowning.

The computer replied, "It's coded to your DNA."

"Right, DNA the X copied."

"For now, you must-"

Samus pulled the power cord out of the wall, "Yeah, yeah…"

"So," Sakamoto drawled, "You weren't afraid of the SA-X?"

"Are you kidding?" Samus said, making a face. "It was the scariest thing I've ever seen. I'm pretty imposing, in case you hadn't noticed. I finally know what it feels like to be a Metroid! But, it proves the X are intelligent."

"How so?"

"Well, they copied the best." she said simply.

Sakamoto frowned.

"Look, even retarded computer Adam said so,"

"Why did the SA-X try to have the boiler melt down? All the X would have died!" Samus said, thinking it made no sense.

"They must have factored you into the equation. They may have seen you as a greater threat to X elsewhere, and your elimination became their top priority, even above their own survival." the computer intoned.

Samus grinned, "That's what I was thinking!"

Sakamoto was shaking his head, "Your ego did not need to hear that…"

Samus frowned, "But it's true," she shrugged, "Besides, I did discover something more fiendish then the SA-X on board the BS station,"

"B.S.L," every member of the council chimed.

Samus ignored them; "Fake missile tank. It was horrifying."

They all shot her flat looks.

"And Sierra Mist."

"…Excuse me?" Sakamoto said, making a face.

The main deck of the station was brightly lit, unlike nearly every other area, but there wasn't much to see. Metal everywhere one looked, and Samus made a face as she passed a fake potted plant. Clearly someone was trying to liven the place up and failing.

She paused at a vending machine. "Huh, I didn't notice this before. Let's see…"

She pushed the Pepsi button only to have it beep out her. Next was the Dr. Pepper, which also beeped. She sighed, "They're out of all the good stuff," she complained, trying the others. Orange, fruit juice, even the plain bottled water.

Frustrated, Samus armed her cannon and shot a lower powered beam at the hinged door. It swung open, littering the ground with cans of Sierra Mist and only Sierra Mist.

Samus stuck her tongue out, "Ugh, all that's left is Sierra Mist! No one wants that…"

She glanced at the trash can next to the machine only to see some waded up paper and another can of the horrible pop. "Even the aliens tried it and threw it away!"

Behind her, there was the distinct sound of free floating X particles, quickly followed by another noise. The telling sound that they had formed into a creature.

Samus rolled to the side to avoid a claws hand trying to grab her. She scooped up one of the cans littering the hallway and threw it before using the distraction to take aim and fire a charged beam.

The beam struck the Sierra Mist can and it exploded, raining the monsters with droplets. The creatures roared in pain and quickly dissolved to their base X before further liquefying into puddles on the floor.

Samus stood and sighed, "It even kills the X. What the hell is in that stuff?"

Samus paused in her story as one of the men on the end of the semi-circle wrote something in a notebook. She narrowed her eyes, "What did you just write down?"

He looked around nervously, "It's for research and development."

She groaned, annoyed.

"So, the creatures you encountered, the ones the X duplicated…Were they any different than their original counterparts?" Sakamoto asked.

Samus shrugged, "How should I know? I've never seen some of them before. I mean, that one…the big jumpy one…"

Samus stared up at the purple creature as it jumped up into the air, hovered for a moment, and then came down before repeating the process all over again. It was easy to avoid, and its reason for living made no sense to her.

She tipped her head to one side, "It looks like a…no, I'm not going to say it."

It bounced right over her head.

"How does this thing catch any food in the wild? I literally have to be standing right under it, asleep, to not get out of the way…"

Sakamoto flipped through a few of the papers in front of him, "I see that, by the end of your stay on the B.S.L Research Station, you had broken each security level."

Samus nodded, "It was necessary to…do…whatever it was I was supposed to be doing there besides killing everything in sight…"

Now that she thought about it, she wasn't really sure what the whole mission had been about except that it had been the Federation's fault.

"Still," Sakamoto said, scowling at her, "You did access areas you weren't supposed too, and that in turn let the SA-X and other X into other Sectors."

Samus sighed, "Not my plan. I wanted to blow it up!"

"Opening the blue hatches may have been a bad idea," the computer said.

Samus held up her hands defensively, "Well, it was your idea!"

"The X have made it to Sector 4 (AQA). It's a shame, but I'm authorizing you to destroy the creatures there if you must."

"Why can't we just seal off that sector and space it? Or blow it up? Who designs this ships and stations," Samus complained. "Self-destruct controls that can only be accessed from inside the part of the ship that's going to blow up, no containment fields to speak of…"

"Samus," the computer complained, "Go to Sector 4 (AQA). Avoid Sector 5 (ARC). It's sub-zero and we still haven't solved the problem of your extreme weakness to the cold. The X may have already made it to that sector, but we have no way of knowing."

Samus nodded, "Got it."

The computer switched off.

"I've got to see if its really sub-zero…"

Samus input her code into the console in front of her, "Well, here I am in Sector 4 (AQA) and I can safely report that the X have in fact made it into Sector 5 (ARC)."

"…I told you not to go there!"

"Did you?" she said, feigning ignorance. "I thought you said Sector 6 (NOC)!"

"You did not mishear me,"

"Totes did." she said, grinning.

Sakamoto frowned, "So you admit to disobeying orders?"

"Have you not been listening to stories about me for the last, I don't know, decade?" Samus said skeptically, "I mean, I think orders are stupid, it's why I never listen to them…"

"You bypassed the highest level security field without authorization." the computer complained.

Samus shrugged, "So?"

"So, you weren't supposed to do that."

"Well, I did."

"You may have to pay the price for that soon…"

Samus made a face at the console in front of her, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're not going to do anything without my say-so in the future."

She grinned, "Your right, I won't be, because that was the highest level to breach. There's nowhere else to go."

"…"

She sighed, "Let me guess, the illegal part of this station?"

"I keep telling you; we don't have any illegal projects!" the computer insisted.

She put a hand on her hip, "Maybe I'm asking this incorrectly…where's the perfectly legal, Federation sanctioned projects that I would find illegal?"

"Uh…"

"My money's on Sector 6 (NOC)," Samus supplied.

"We don't…have anything like that….there or anywhere else…" the computer said.

Samus frowned, "How can a computer be so bad at lying?"

"Uh…you're breaking up!"

She was unimpressed and rolled her eyes, "You're integrated into the station's systems! There's no transmission to break up!"

"I can't hear you!"

Samus groaned, "I'm not buying it,"

The computerized voice sounded put out, "Look, everything that's happening…it's all the work of the sex, I mean, the SA-X."

Samus stared at the computer before starting to laugh hysterically. "Wow," she said, drawing the word out. "They so used a real person's brain as a template for your program. I know what's on your mind…anyway, get your head out of the gutter and open the hatches for me. I need to go figure out where your hiding the…I mean, I need to stop the B.O.X."

Samus thought the looks on the council's faces were funny.

Sakamoto frowned, "That conversation did not happen,"

"It did too!" she insisted, chuckling again. "But anyway, are we almost done here? I want to make sure I clean out the inside of my ship from the transport of my friends."

They exchanged a few glances and luckily didn't chide her for calling the ship hers.

"Friends?" Sakamoto said, looking confused.

Samus nodded, "Yeah!"

The glass window was heavily polarized, making it hard to see through it though she could make out vague shapes moving around inside.

Accessing the panel, Samus opened the gate up, glancing over to see what would emerge. She was dubious the life signs they'd picked up were human, but she was more annoyed that the Federation hadn't invented internal censors that could distinguish between different life signs.

Out of the room beyond stepped a few familiar faces.

Samus gasped and excitedly exclaimed, "Speed bird! Jumpy gremlins!"

To find them on the station was suspicious and unexpected, but she hoped they were alright.

A small bundle zipped out and rested against the bird's leg. A tiny baby with large eyes.

"Ah…damn." Samus complained. "Now I can't blow up the station…"

Samus glared at the ship's console in front of her. "So, the X tried to get inside that Ridley corpse. I shot it. A lot."

"…Anyway, the reason I called you to your ship was…there's some strange life forms that made their way into your ship somehow…" the computerized CO informed her.

A picture popped on in time to show one of the gremlins jump up and smile at the camera.

Samus grinned, "Yeah, they can stay. I wonder how they found my ship, and why are they on board…?"

"I activated a translation matrix to ask them the same thing and they said that…when they saw you back in the lab they knew that the station was going to blow up and the safest place to be was your ship. They made their way here."

She chuckled, "Smart creatures…"

"So," Samus said, "I relocated them to a planet where they could live. A planet whose location will remain unspecified, so don't think about bugging them."

Sakamoto hesitated, "It's not…a habited planet, is it?"

"Why?" she asked warily. "Don't tell me; you messed with them somehow?"

"It's what scientist do," he explained, "they inject stuff with other stuff and see what happens."

"What did you do?" she demanded. "I mean, I don't have a lot of stuff I'm protective over, but my missiles and the little creatures are some of them."

"They're fine. Just…keep them away from humans." Sakamoto said cryptically.

Samus was not appeased, "I want to talk to someone about this,"

"Well, the head scientist is the one the X mimicked and you killed," Sakamoto pointed out.

She frowned, "Oh, yeah….that guy."

"How did you know he was an X, anyway?"

Samus paused, "Um…"

Truthfully, she hadn't known he was an X, but he had clearly been sabotaging the station, so, she shot him in the face with a missile.

"Instincts." she settled on, shrugging.

Sakamoto looked back to his paperwork, "Why did you access the secret sector on the main deck?"

"Well…"

Samus resisted the urge to blast a hole clean through the navigation room's computer. Again.

She'd had to gone to another sector to access it because she'd lost her temper before even turning it on.

The computer beeped and powered on. "You went to the classified section. You weren't authorized to do that."

"I was trying to lure the B.O.X out!" she said in her defense.

The CO did not sound convinced. "…Are you sure you weren't just snooping around?"

Samus hesitated and looked around the room, "Well, there was some of that, but ninety percent…or at least seventy percent was to try and lure the B.O.X out."

Annoyed, she put her hands on her hips, "But, what the hell? Metroid?"

"Only for peaceful applications!" Sakamoto said defensively, mirroring what she'd already been told.

Samus scoffed, "Oh, yes, because nothing says galactic peace like a brain sucking jellyfish. What possible use could they have but as a weapon?"

Sakamoto scowled, "I'm not required to explain our motives to you."

She held up her hands, "Hey, I already warned you. If I saw Metroid, I was done. Though I will admit to some of the blame in this situation. I should have known better then to work for you pinheads again after the last time with the whole bottle ship debacle."

Sakamoto glared at her, "That is-"

"Oh, sorry," she said, "Was that rude to call you guys pinheads? Well, let me phrase it differently; you are steaming piles of-"

The room was humid and dimly lit, the perfect place to hold vertical tubes reaching from the ground to the high, vaulted ceiling.

Inside the tube was rarefied air, allowing the prefect environment for one of the galaxies worst nightmares.

Metroid floated in the tube like weightless clouds, mandibles flexing every so often while their membrane tops glistened in the low lightly.

Samus watched them for a moment. They looked peaceful and harmless, belying what they truly were.

"Done." Samus said, slicing an arm through the air.

"I'm so done." she complained. "You deserve what you get and I'm over it. I mean, you were cloning Ridley again, too! What peaceful application would he provide?"

Ridley screeched in his high pitched, inhuman cry and took to the skies as the X mimicked his movements and form perfectly.

Samus held up her arm cannon and loaded it with a missile.

"I'm having an existential crisis," she said, firing the projectile into his mouth.

"We all know you have a history with Ridley," Sakamoto said. "But don't turn this into a grudge match."

"Are you kidding?" Samus said, "I love that guy. Shooting him in the face with missiles is how I relieve stress, but I'm also over it. I mean, I've lost count of how many times I've fought him. There was the original Ridley, the clone, the other clone…I seriously can't even trace what number this X version was. I'm sick of seeing him everywhere I go. Let him die."

"I already told you; we had no plans to reanimate him or clone him." Sakamoto said.

She sighed, "Where's Admiral Dane? I mean, I know he's completely devoid of a personality, but at least he wasn't a moron. I want to talk to someone who isn't stupid."

"Admiral Dane went into early retirement," Sakamoto informed her tightly.

Samus huffed, "Man…I liked that guy. He used to let me do whatever the hell I wanted…"

"That's your problem Samus; you don't follow orders."

"Then stop giving me orders!" she retorted.

Sakamoto glared at her, "We could court martial you for this!"

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, "I'd love to see you try! I'm Samus Aran, in case you missed it. I've saved the universe, more than once. What are you going to do?" She grinned, "Oh, send one of those delete-r guys after me. I didn't get to kill the last one."

"The situation at the B.S.L-"

Samus shrugged, "The SA-X did it."

Sakamoto cut off mid-sentence. "…What?"

"The SA-X blew it up. It wasn't me." she said, grinning.

They all exchanged a round of glances and she leaned back in her chair, "You can't prove otherwise, and even if you found evidence, the SA-X mimicked me perfectly. It's not going to prove anything. So, the SA-X blew up the station and I was lucky to escape."

Sakamoto glared at her for a long moment before grumbling, "Why would it do that?"

"I'm a pretty big threat," she suggested. "Or, maybe it was too kill the Metroid there."

He waved a hand, "Stop mentioning that. This hearing is going to be public record."

Samus made a face, "Well that was a bad idea. Because I'm going to keep saying Metroid."

She glanced at the woman typing away on her keyboard and spoke up, "Hey, you might want to redact that part, and this next part, the one about the Federation doing secret Metroid breeding programs."

Sakamoto cleared his throat loudly, "Please stop that,"

She glared at him, "You're going to cover this up, that I get, but why you're antagonizing me…that's a really bad idea."

"You need to learn you can't just do what you want." he said.

"I have so much random crap in my DNA that I'm pretty sure I'm unstoppable. I have Chozo DNA, Metroid DNA, X DNA, my cells have been irradiated with Phazon…My suit is a hybrid…fusion, gravity, power…thing. I have diffusion missiles, power bombs, a light whip, I can morph into a ball, screw-attack space jump and I'm armed with a plasma-spazer-wave-ice beam."

Samus held up her hands, "Bring it on."

Sakamoto was clearly not happy, but she just got to her feet and gave a mocking salute to the council.

"I told you I was done, so I'm out of here. I'm taking my ship and my heavily armed self, who in case you didn't know, is Samus Aran, defender and savior of the universe, bane of the Metroid and the X, on a trip across space to be my awesome self. Try not to get yourselves killed without me here."

She turned and walked out of the room, lifting her arm at the threshold of the door and shooting the support beam so it made the door collapse behind her, "Peace out!"

They all looked at Sakamoto as soon as the debris at the door settled.

"So, should we go after her?" one asked.

He shook his head. "No, we killed her franchise with a game no one liked. We've gotten our revenge."

They all laughed.

Well, there you have it. Since in the timeline Fusion was the last game, that means I can recall all the ones before it.

A few things:

Number one; this is how my brother and I see Samus. Not only as a complete badass (Because she is,) but also just a tad crazy and overly arrogant.

My brother and I have played all the way through Super Metroid. Most of Metroid Fusion and the very first part of the first Prime and the original. That is all. I looked up stories and spoilers online, so at least I know some of the world mythos...but still...

I always joke that at the end of Super Metroid when it comes up with big letters; "The Mission was a Success!" that...it wasn't, because her mission was to save the Metroid and she didn't do that. My brother just looks at me and says; "She's Samus."

I can never remember the real names of the speed bird and the jumpy gremlins, and as such, I refer to them as...speed bird and jumpy gremlins...my brother and I may have also been overly excited to see them in this game. And, we made joke when they ran off that they were going to Samus ship because they didn't want to get blown up, only to find out it was true!

Samus does blow up a lot of stuff. I mean, seriously, look at that track record! Even if it's not her solely doing it, it's still a lot.

I think SA-X is supposed to be said as separate letters (S A X) but it's a lot easier to simply say SAX when playing (All one word) and of course, a slip up to the other word is bound to happen...

The whole game of Fusion we knew there were going to be Metroid, and we kept joking about it only to of course, be right again.

I egged my brother into entering the sub-zero room to see if there were power-ups in there. We were disappointed we only saw Ridley's corpse.

We also wanted to blow the station up from the start.

There is a fake tree and vending machine on the main deck, I swear it! At least, it looks like a fake tree and vending machine...(And really, who does like Sierra Mist?)

My brother did try to avoid talking to Adam by jumping over the platform.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Thanks for reading!

~Moonclaw~