Me: Hello everybody!

Fang: To those who don't know me, fear my name! For I, the great Black-Furred Fang, is the polar bear of LMWOE!

Max: Meh. Hi. Max. A polar bear.

Me: Yeah, these are Max and Fang, my polar bears! They will be the co-producers of this fanfic –

Fang: Only CO?

Me: Dude, who's writing this thing?

Fang: *mutters something obscene*

Chapter 1

Rainbow Dash's POV

I yawn. The cloud furniture in my home doesn't move or talk – yet I am staring at it intensely… It's been ages since I've seen my friends around. I guess I could call them by pony phone…

"Hello?" I ask. "Hello? Twilight?" I speak into my phone, my voice sounding waaaaay too loud after being in silence for so long…

"Um… Hey. I'm sorta busy today. Sorry, Dashie, but I have to – "

"Yeah, yeah, go hang out with Asterisk. Shaky. Whoever that is." I growl a little as I say his name. Ever since all my friends started getting coltfriends they've been completely and utterly horny and giggly… even Twilight, the sensible one, had forgotten to call and meet up as friends.

"Sorry."

"Iz alright," I mutter. "Bye, I guess."

A WHILE LATER -

I stop by at Sugarcube Corner after a long time of practicing. I was actually pretty pleased with myself, creating three different new moves – the Ferris Wheel, the Tsunami, and finally, my favourite, the Soarwing. Named after Soarin', one of my idols of course.

"Hey~ Dashie!" Pinkie squeals. I have to crack a smile; the energy of Pinkie is rubbing off on me. Also, Pinkie's the only other one without a coltfriend. She doesn't even want one, which is a little comforting.

"Is it just me or does no one come to my parties anymore?" she complains. "I've tried EVERYTHING! Free cupcakes, free cupcakes, and free cupcakes! Oh, and did I mention free cupcakes?" I sigh. Even though Pinkie's a nice friend, she definitely doesn't have the same interests as me.

"Anyways… I guess I'll see ya 'roun – " I get interrupted by my phone ringing. I almost break into a smile, but Rainbow Dash never does that…

"Hello?" I ask cheerfully into the phone. Maybe it's Twilight, saying we might have some spare time together. Or Applejack, saying we can have another iron pony contest.

"Heeeey. This be R-Dash, hey?" This time I really do break into a grin.

"Spitfire? Hey! Nice hearing ya again. We haven't practiced for a while. Should we do that soon? Tomorrow maybe?"

"Sorries, RD, but greater things are here tonight. Y'know Soarin'?" Spitfire's voice slides smooth like butter.

"Yeah? The colt who I saved the pie for?"

"Eeeeeeeyup. He's my coltfriend now!" I gasp, being the fanfilly I am.

"OH MY BUCKING CELESTIA!" I shriek.

"No need to freak out, RD," snickers Spitfire. "All cool, y'know? Anyways, we holdin' a party for all the Wonderbolts and I was wonderin' if ya and your friends will come."

"Without a doubt, we'll be coming," I say, brighter than ever. "Is it okay if they bring their coltfriends too?"

Spitfire laughs. Her laugh sounds a little like a whale. "Eeeeeeeyup. Just fine. Anyways, see ya at Brinkstone Bar at 8:00 PM."

"Totally!" I exclaim. "Bye!"

"Byesoossss," Spitfire says. A faint beep as my phone hangs up.

"YEEEESSSSSS!" I yell. I fly loop-de-loops everywhere and even do my new move, the Ferris Wheel.

"Am I invited? It's a party, isn't it? Wait, is everyone else coming?" blabbers Pinkie Pie. She jumps extra high with every syllable.

"Yes! Everyone's coming," I say excitedly. "A chance for dinner with the Wonderbolts! It's a dream come true! And believe it or not, Spitfire's coltfriend is now Soarin'!"

"Who the Celestia is Soarin'?" Pinkie Pie shouts over my excitement. She stuffs a multi-colored cupcake in her mouth, spraying crumbs everywhere when she talks.

"Only one of the best of the Wonderbolts!" I squeal. Okay, totally out of character. Me, the best flier in Equestria, Rainbow Dash, squealing? Really?

"I'm calling everyone." I'm almost singing as I fly swiftly past Sugarcube Corner, going home to figure out what I'll wear and stuff. Wait, huh? That's a Rarity thing… fine; I'll go naked as usual. Nah, I can't do that! Too informal…

"Oof!" I squeak a little as I smash into Applejack's barn. Oh well. Bucking barn.

"Applejack! APPLEJACK!" I howl into it.

"Hey RD! That you out there?" she hollers back. "Sorry, Tiger, but I'll have to answer the door!" I roll my eyes. Tiger's her coltfriend's nickname. He's my favourite of the bunch, though. I can't stand Rarity's coltfriend, though, even though Tiger and him are best friends.

"Hey! Applejack! We're all invited to the Wonderbolts' dinner! They're celebrating Soarin' and Spitfire's get together, y'know?"

"I'm totally coming!" Applejack calls.

"Brinkstone Bar, 8:00 PM. Don't forget Tiger! And go see Rarity. And call Twilight and Fluttershy. I'm so bucking excited!"

"Language," sighs Applejack sternly. I stick out my tongue.

"Thanks, mother."

"Ew. Now that I have Tiger, that's grosser than ever before…" I burst out laughing. Oh, Applejack. That friend of mine.

"See ya there!"

ANOTHER WHILE LATER-

Soarin's' POV

I smirk slyly at Spitfire. She avoids my gaze, almost trying to get rid of the immaturity that sits beside her. I take my hoof and rub it against the side of the glass, making a faint ring sound.

"For the love of Celestia, Soarin'," she groans. "Can you please act at least slightly mature around our friends?"

"Hey, that's why they're my friends," I defend myself. "They know I'm weird and stuff." I grab a muffin, which Derpy Hooves looks at longingly – the last blueberry muffin. I throw it at her and she gulps it down in one mouthful. With a lopsided grin, she trots away to go snarf more muffins.

"You forgot my friends," Spitfire huffs. "So act your age." I snort.

"Soarin'," she whines. I roll my eyes. Spitfire's a great gal and all, except I get kinda tired of her moaning and whining all the time.

"Hey, there are some good-looking mares here, hey? Look at R-Dash over there. You won't believe how pretty she looks…" Spitfire literally snarls and whips a foreleg to my face.

"Whoa, whoa," I say, putting both my forelegs up. "Just a joke." Spitfire looks at me disdainfully and then walks over to her friends.

I sigh, sitting my rump down in a seat. Jeez, she really needs to loosen up a bit. Ever since we… I guess "got together", as Spitfire puts it, I've been more stressed out than ever. Trying to please her all time is just putting my mind on haywire.

Speaking of hay, I could really have some.

Rainbow Dash's POV

I sit cordially wearing another beautiful dress, complete with silver lightning shoes. Perfect. Rarity always knows this stuff.

I munch on some celery sticks, delicious. So crunchy… I love Brinkstone Bar. I ordered practically everything on the menu. I have enough money, anyways. I got a raise at work.

I watch as Spitfire takes a spoon and clinks it against the side of her glass as I gulp down the last of my food.

"Hello! I am just thanking everypony for being such a kind soul and coming along to celebrate Soarin' and my get together. I hope you enjoyed the dinner. I was just hoping you could stay a little while, Soarin' and I are about to put on a show!" I gasp again. I've seen the Wonderbolts… let's see, five times now. Six to count this one.

"Hey, R-Dash!" calls out Soarin'. "Spitfire says we've practiced your routine, so I was wondering… let's do this show together!"

"!" I scream. "Yes!"

Soarin' nods, and at that exact moment I slice through the air, rainbow trailing behind me. We do the Flame, the Windwaker, and the Supersmash. Spitfire beckons to Soarin' and then they create a heart out of their lightning bolts.

With a blinding flash, I slice through the heart, creating a rainbow arrow. I then spin around and start another Sonic Rainboom.

"Epicness for the win," I think.

Soarin's' POV

"Rainbow! NO!" I yell. She's started the Sonic Rainboom at the wrong angle. If she continues, she could bucking die.

I start flying impossibly fast towards her, trying to make her stop.

"RAINBOW!" She can't hear me, she can't hear me…

BOOM!

A rainbow does trail out in a giant mushroom cloud fashion, but I can't see Rainbow Dash.

"RAINBOW DASH!" I scream. I fly haphazardly over the land, searching for her. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing.

Wait… yes! I found her!

She's about a mile from the site of her Sonic Rainboom.

"Rainbow Dash!" I scold. "You could have died for Celestia's sake!"

"Celestia's got nothing to do with it," she grumbles. She tries to stand up, but I can already tell she can't support herself. She grunts, rolls over a bit. Then, with a mighty flap of her wings, she whips herself into the air.

Only to collapse onto the ground.

"Ow." It probably hurt more than what she's showing.

"Look Rainbow, I'll help you get back to the bar, 'kay? Now stay," I say worriedly.

"I don't need your help," she groans. "No. Pony's. Help."

And then she faints.

Rainbow Dash's POV

Ouch. It hurts a lot.

"Hello?" Soarin' is speaking into his pony phone.

"Yes, get here for bucking sake. She's almost half-dead, idiots!" I slowly, slowly start to regain consciousness.

"WHAT IN CELESTIA'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU!" he snarls. "JUST GET THE BUCK OVER HERE!"

I moan, and this makes Soarin' turn to me.

"Stay with me, R-Dash. You're gonna be okay." He says it so gently, I just flop onto the ground.

Faint whee-oh in the distance. And it gets louder. And louder.

"State emergency."

"Just get her in and I'll tell you later, buckhead!" At this, I feel a slight sensation of being lifted.

And black out. Again…

Soarin's' POV

She's going to be okay. Okay to be okay… oh Celestia, what if she doesn't make it?

"Rainbow, don't die. Don't die on me, Rainbow!" I groan. All these white ponies wearing all these white coats… creeping me out…

I pace back and forth across the shiny, blinding floor of Gets-Better Hospital. A doctor comes up and gently turns me by the shoulder.

"Ahem. Well, Soarin', your companion here –" The doctor starts.

"Get to the buckin' point," I groan.

"She's suffering from; ahem; some broken ribs, broken wing, broken foreleg. She also has some minor scratches, but we've fixed those up." The doctor pony nervously jumps around, as if he got ants in his coat.

"Okay, on a rating from 1 to 10, tell me the chances of surviving?"

"9.9. She's definitely going to survive. What worries me is that her home is in the sky, no? How will she get up there? And even if she is carried somehow, she will need a caregiver at all times."

"She can stay at my place," I say. I almost clap my hoof over my mouth. What am I saying?

"Are you sure? I know you are a Wonderbolt and all. Work complications may -"

"I think Squadron Two will be good without me for a while," I say. "And Spitfire… she practically lives with me. She could take care of her also."

"Good. Her health is stable, but we'll keep her here for the night. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to like it here in the hospital very much…"

I smirk. Oh, Rainbow.

Twilight's POV

"Is Rainbow okay?" I practically shout into my pony phone.

"She's just waking up," soothes Asterisk. "Do you want me to carry you over to the hospital? My wings still have life in them."

"No, no," I say. "I can't do that! You'll be too tired, Asterisk. In fact, I think you should stay at my place in the library. Your home is simply too far away for you to fly to from the hospital after such a wreck of a night."

"Right then, I'll do just that… Be careful, Twi. I don't want any pony – "

"I'll be fine, Asterisk. I'm not helpless. But it's sweet of you to care." I smile to myself a little. He is really sweet.

"Bye then, T. See you later!"

"Bye, Shaky."

Me: Word count: 1995. I promise to make even longer chappies in the future!

Fang: HA HA! The cookies have been doubled!

Max: Fang, I've just made two.

Fang's Therapist: Sorry I'm late! Hey Fangy!

Max: *snickers*

Fang: Hey Holly! Let's have some sarsaparilla!

Holly: Sorry, luv, but I have a little bit of a busy schedule with you today. We have to go over sitting in a bus, don't we?

Fang: Oh yeah! I wanna see the bus!

Holly: Of course, luv. *whispers* I'll get him out of here.

Me: Course. Thanks Holly!

Holly and Fang: *leaves*

Max: I hope this one's better than the last.

Me: She BETTER be better. I'm paying 'bout fifty bucks extra every session!

Max: What can I say? He's an expensive polar bear.

Me: Last year, the total cost of Artic Chill smoothies cost $4596! And don't get me started on the Timmy's Blizzard donuts…