Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.

A/N: And here it is, the 'reboot' of Rich and Famous, alongside the FFVII fic. Wasn't initially sure, but it's been nudging at me all day during work, and even though I fell off the Naruto story wagon, Naruto characters will always have a soft spot in my heart. Especially Sasuke and Naruto love.

Warnings for the fic consist of:
Yaoi
Violence
Sexual content
Swearing

The Rich and Famous

Chapter 1: Bad News and Bad News

Sasuke Uchiha sat in the back of the limo, his arm propped up against the window, completely ignoring the city of Los Angeles that passed by his window. Nothing he hasn't seen a thousand times now. He peered towards the front of the vehicle, towards the driver.

"Did my brother happen to mention what he wanted, to summon me so quickly after filming wrapped up?"

His driver—as if Sasuke bothered to remember his name—glanced at him through the rearview mirror. "He did not, Mr. Uchiha. My apologies. We will be at your manor shortly. About ten more minutes."

"Hn," he grunted. He didn't bother to point out he'd gone back and forth between the airport and the manor plenty of times before and knew the distance between the two. He settled into the seat, closing his eyes.

The limo finally pulled into the long driveway leading up to the secluded manor, and Sasuke waited for the driver to open his doors, drumming his fingers impatiently. When the door was finally opened for him, he glided out of the car and to the ornate front door. "Don't forget my luggage," he called out. "Leave it in my room."

The door opened as he walked up, Sasuke never missing a step and ignoring the few employees who bowed and welcomed him home. He padded his way up the carpeted stairs and shoved his way into his brother's study, where he knew he'd be.

Itachi Uchiha, a few years older than Sasuke, sat at his desk, which was covered in various papers and folders. He glanced up at Sasuke walked in and turned around to print something off the computer. "Sasuke, my dear little brother. Welcome home. How was Ireland?"

Sasuke ignored the warmness and shrugged. "Nothing special, it was just a filming location. Did you send that director my wishes to partake in his upcoming movie?"

Itachi faked a grimace, and Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "That's why I flew you in, to talk to you about that." Sasuke shrugged, feeling no ounce of disappointment. He didn't particularly care about that movie.

His brother waves a hand towards a cushioned seat. "Sit. I have some rather big news for you." He clasped his fingers together and leaned towards Sasuke.

Sasuke drilled a hole in his head with his eyes. "...yes?" he snapped. He was handed the recently printed off paper, and he saw it was a picture of a completely average house which appeared to be located in the middle of a city. "What is this supposed to be?"

"It's a house, Sasuke. I know you're so used to mansions but you really should know that."

"You're not funny. Answer me."

His brother grinned, and attempted to look serious when Sasuke didn't crack a smile. "That's where we're moving."

For once, Sasuke was stunned into silence, then managed to find his voice. "Excuse me?"

"That's where we're going to be moving, Sasuke. In two weeks."

"And why the fuck will we be doing that?"

"Sasuke," his brother stood up. "How old were you when you broke into the acting career?"

"Eight... This has to do with what, exactly?"

"This has been bothering me for a long time now, little brother. Our parents died when you were seven. We're the only family we have. You never really got the proper chance to mourn, you don't have any actual friends, we live a completely fake life in which we never really talk, you never got the chance to really grow up normal. I want to try to change all of that."

Sasuke just stared at his brother after that attempted speech. Part of him remembered early days, when him and Itachi wrestled with each other and Itachi would often play jokes on him, to Sasuke's delight. When the two brothers would wake up extra early to help mom make breakfast, sneaking morsels when they thought she wasn't looking. Those days were long gone.

"Have you even thought this through?" he asked.

Itachi furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Sasuke just stared at his brother, changing his mind on what he was about to say. His brother seemed resolute, regardless. Instead, he said, "What about the press?"

"Already got a fake story." Itachi smiled. Sasuke heaved a sigh. "Another thing. I arranged for you to do your senior year at a school called Konoha High. The principal there is named Tsunade. After I told her some of my concerns, we decided to get another student to show you the ropes."

"You arranged a play date for me?"

"No, Sasuke, a guide. He'll also be helping the school...get used to you."

"He's going to be the guy beating the girls away from me with a stick?"

"Of sorts," Itachi chuckled. He searched the top of the desk and handed Sasuke a picture. "So you'll recognize him."

Sasuke took the picture. It was a pretty terrible one, to be honest. This oh-so-wonderful guide having the name of Naruto Uzumaki, and he was trying to pull off a funny face but only succeeded in looking like a dumbass. It appeared to be last year's Yearbook picture.

"He looks like a dumbass."

"I'm sure he'll be great!"

"NARUTO, FUCKING STOP BRINGING RAMEN IN THE CAR I TOLD YOU THIS A THOUSAND FUCKING FUCKITY TIMES," Kiba yelled.

Naruto looked at his best friend from where he was sitting in the passenger's seat, fork halfway up to his mouth. "Fucking fuckity?"

"Shut up. Dump it out of the window, I'm not having you spill anything in my car again! Unless you want to pay for the cleaning."

"This is the last time, I promise! I woke up too late to eat at home."

"You said that last week."

"Just shut up and drive to school. I swear I won't spill anything."

He ended up spilling some on the tire as he hurried out of the car and towards the school to start their second day of senior year. Kiba glowered at him, and Naruto smiled at him sheepishly. "Seriously, I swear no more ramen in the car!"

"No food, period."

"Not even something like Poptarts?"

"Sometimes I want to strangle you."

"You love me too much."

The two took their time heading to English class, even though the final bell had rang a few minutes ago. The perks of having a teacher who was often very late himself. The two heard the animated girly chatter and the TV the moment they slipped through the door. A group of girls had gathered to watch the TV mounted on the wall, and once again Naruto felt elated when he saw the short pink-haired girl among them. This was definitely going to be the year he asked Sakura out.

"What's going on?" Kiba asked as the two placed themselves in desks next to their other two best friends, Gaara and Shikamaru. "Please tell me they finally invented hover cars." He frowned when the group hushed him, even though the TV was just showing commercials right now.

The program came back on finally, and Naruto groaned out loud when it was some interview with one of the most famous Hollywood celebrities, Sasuke Uchiha. "And we're back!" the female reporter said. "And I have today Sasuke Uchiha, who just finished filming his new movie, Ninja Stars!" The girls in the classroom clapped.

"He can't hear you," Naruto muttered, his eyes on Sakura, who was also mooning over the not-that-hot-and-was-totally-a-fucking-jackass star.

Even the reporter seemed way overly excited, as when she asked Sasuke about his female co-star and pointed the mic in his direction, she almost shoved it up a nostril.

Sasuke leaned back, not trying to hide his scowl and annoyance, and pushed the mic away from his face a tad. The reporter gave him a sheepish grin as Sasuke answered. "She was just kind of typical, really. Talked a lot."

A gorgeous girl with long blonde hair who was also Sakura's best friend jumped up and down. "He likes typical girls!" Naruto didn't bother covering his snort, they couldn't hear him anyway.

"Fascinating!" the reporter kiss-assed. "What can you tell us about the movie premiere next month?"

Sasuke seemed to study the reporter for a split second and then appeared to look at someone behind the camera. The star nodded, and faced the reporter. "I won't be there, my co star will give details about the premiere. My career is being put on hold while I go to England."

The reporter gaped at him, while meanwhile the girls in Konoha's English classroom were going ballistic. She seemed to lose herself again and almost shoved the microphone up his nose a second time. "Can you give the details on that?" she asked eagerly.

The bratty star rippe the mic from her grasp, growled a 'no,' and tossed the mic to the ground and stalked off. Naruto appeared to be the only one who saw the guy for the jackass he was, as all of the girls were in hysterics at the news. The guys really just didn't a shit.

The intercom of the classroom interrupted the freak out session, and the girls calmed down enough so the intercom could repeat whatever was said. "Naruto Uzumaki, we would like to see you in the Principal Tsunade's office, please." It was Shizune, the old hag's secretary.

Kiba and Gaara gave him the what-the-hell-did-you-get-up-to-the-second-day-of-classes? look. Yes, it had a look. Naruto shrugged and stood up, honestly confused himself. She was probably calling him down there to warn him away from doing any shenanigans this year.

He made his way down the halls and to the main office, his hands casually shoved in his pockets. "Hey Shizune!" he greeted. "What's up?"

The girl sat behind the office desk and gave Naruto a cheery smile. "Hi Naruto! How was your summer?"

"It was okay, really. Didn't do anything exciting, picked up a part-time job at the cafe across the street from my apartment."

"That place serves some great bagels. Anyway, thanks for coming down, Tsunade is in her office waiting for you."

Naruto thanked her, striding into the Principal's office, closing the door behind him. "Hey gran-gran," he greeted the busty blonde woman behind the desk, sitting in a chair and propping his feet up on his desk.

"One of these days people are going to see your face on the side of a milk carton," she warned. "And get your disgusting shoes off of my desk. How are you doing, brat?"

"The usual. Why am I here? I haven't even done anything!"

"Yet?" she added, quirking an eyebrow.

"Maybe."

Tsunade sighed, giving his feet a rough shove off of her desk. "Naruto, it's your last year in High School. Hopefully it's your last year, anyway." She pinched the sides of her nose. "You need to start behaving more responsibly and planning for the future."

"I'm fine in my apartment. I got a part-time job at Bagels and Bagels to help."

"Selling bagels to customers isn't a future. I mean, it could be, Naruto, but do you honestly want to do that with your life?"

"We also sell muffins."

"Naruto!" she snipped.

"Gaaah, gran," he whined. "How am I supposed to know what I want to do with the rest of my life? I don't even really need to," he muttered.

Tsunade just sighed. "Okay Naruto. This can be a talk for later. Yes, later," she cut him off. "I called you here for a different reason. We're getting a new student on Monday, and I thought it'd be nice to offer you to help him around."

Naruto gave her a flat look. "Is he, like, blind or something? Should really just get one of those cool dogs to help with that."

"No, he has no impairments. He's just going to have a bit of hard time...ah...acclimating, as you will. He's had a private tutor since he was eight, so I'm sure he'll be unsteady in a public school, in a completely new city, with no one around but his brother."

"He's a big boy, I'm sure. Still not seeing why you need me to help out a snobby rich kid."

"It'll be a completely new lifestyle for him, and you'll only need to help in the short-term. He's also a tad famous, which is why I think it will be helpful to have you around in the halls, calming things down."

Naruto paused. "A celeb is enrolling in our school?" he asked, shocked. This was kind of cool! "I'll totally get some chicks noticing me, being all buddy-buddy with a celeb." Preferably a specific, pink-haired chick.

Tsunade nodded, grinning in a way that made Naruto nervous. "Great! You'll be sharing a few classes together, and you'll both have permission to leave a few minutes early to show him to his other classes. Sasuke Uchiha will be gracious, I'm sure."

That took a while to sink in, and it was obvious Tsunade found it a tad funny. Naruto sat there, gaping at her, trying to process the name she just gave him. Finally, he flew from his seat and slammed his hands down on her desk. "No!" he shouted.

The old hag straightened up and gave the student her best serious-business face. "You don't have a say in this situation, Mr. Uzumaki. I'm informing you of what will be happening as of Monday, not asking you."

"You didn't just call me Mr. Uzumaki."

"Yeah, that felt pretty weird." And it was, Naruto thought. He never really had parents, and oddly enough, he kind of sort of maybe considered her a mom to him. Or maybe a grandma. Or great grandma.

"Tsunade, you know I hate that guy. He's totally insufferable."

"Well, you haven't even met him in person, only what he shows cameras. Maybe he'll surprise you." Naruto scoffed. "Besides, to be completely honest, I think it'd be best for Mr. Uchiha to have someone around who doesn't fawn over him."

Naruto really didn't care what was or wasn't best for 'Mr. Uchiha.' "Are you sure you're not asking me? Because you totally just ruined my good mood for the near future now."

Tsunade grinned. "You'll live, brat."