All his life, Dean Ambrose has thought of himself as a worthless piece of garbage from the wrong side of the tracks that no one will ever love or accept like normal people. The constant pain from being neglected and hurt over the years has driven him to build walls around himself to keep others out. No matter how hard anyone's ever tried to be his friend or to show him just an ounce of affection, it's a waste of time—a lost cause, even. He doesn't believe that he deserves any of it, he doesn't feel like it's even possible. But despite his issues, Dean, like any other human being gets lonely. It drives him crazy.
If only there was someone out there who would just—take a chance.
Night after night, Dean buries himself in booze, stale leftovers, and faceless lovers hoping to feel anything other than that gnawing loneliness, but it's always the same. They're all the fucking same—All the goddamn same. Maybe it really is time to stop wondering 'what if' – Stop dreaming. After all, dreams are for fairy tales and his life is anything but that.
The only thing even worth caring about or finding happiness in is his career in wrestling. It's something he's actually good at, something he can put his all in to—his heart and soul. And it actually works for a while. Hell, he's even made a few friends. Something he'd never even thought was possible, but he's done it quite a few times since joining the Shield. Since joining the Shield, things have gone well for Dean. He's grown as a wrestler and as a person. And who wouldn't when being teamed with and practically living with two of the most amazing guys he's ever met. They sort of reminded him of the few independent guys he used to run with for a good few years back before he made it to the WWE.
If it weren't for Seth and Roman, Dean probably never even would've made it to the main roster. He'd become just as he'd always thought of himself—forgotten. In fact, Dean was damn near out the door by the time they called him into a meeting with the two other men, gave them the idea and threw them out into the crowd. And from that day up to now, it's been one hell of a ride.
But once again, the vicious cycle has returned and Dean's found himself alone. A single's career. There's nothing to complain about though. He's happy for once. Still part of the main product, Dean's got a good thing going so far all on his own and the plus side of feuding with Seth? He still gets to hang out with someone he knows, though it's not the same as it was before. Nothing's the same anymore. Seth's his 'enemy' and Roman's off doing his thing for the titles. So he's guarded again, keeping his distance because the fear of being hurt is just something he refuses to go through again.
And who knows? Maybe he's just paranoid because of the past. Or maybe he's right and everyone's just out to get him, make him miserable. Either way, there's just got to be a cure for this never-ending loneliness.