Disclaimer: I do not owe any of these characters.

A/N this is my first Stephanie Plum fanfic, so please be gentle, although I always accept constructive criticism.

Please review and also i've been thinking about incorporating some paragraph's that are in other character's POV. Let me know if you think it's a good idea.

My name is Stephanie Plum, bounty hunter extraordinaire.

Well maybe that's not the entire truth. I've had a few problems in the past, mainly with my cars, which tend to catch on fire every now and then. I have been working as a bounty hunter for a couple of years now. That's how I met my on-again, off-again boyfriend Joe Morelli. He's one of Trenton's finest and I must say he defiantly has one of the finest arses in Trenton as well. However upon meeting up with Morelli, I also met up with my friend and mentor Ranger, or as I sometimes call him, Batman. Ranger and I have a strange relationship, most of the time I'm not sure whether he actually loves me or just wants me in bed. Joe loves me too, but in an entirely different way; he wants to marry me. At this point in time I wasn't quite sure I was ready to settle down but I'd have to decide soon enough.

It was raining when I woke up at 11, I stared out the window I didn't really like the rain, especially when I knew I'd probably end up on my ass on the wet pavement. But never the less I got up, had a shower and tried to do my hair and make-up as best I could.

While I was in the shower the phone rang multiple times so I let it go to the answering machine. The first message was from my mother.

"Stephanie It's your mother, I haven't seen you in a while so I want you to come to dinner tonight, I've already rung Joseph, and he said it's fine. Be here by 6... I'm making pineapple upside down cake for desert" she said and disconnected.

My Mother knew I wouldn't miss pineapple cake.

The second was from Joe, "Hi Cupcake, your mother just called so I'll pick you up at 5:45 for dinner, be ready"

I felt a funny feeling in my stomach when I heard Joe's voice, but since it was too early for me to think about my feeling; I just put it down to me being hungry.

On the way into the office I stopped by the bakery to pick up some donuts for breakfast. When I arrived at Vinnie's bail bond office I heard some screaming inside. Curiously I went inside and found my asshole of an ex-husband standing in the office screaming at Lula, who was an ex-ho.

"Dickie! What the hell are you doing here?" I yelled as I walked through the door and realised who it was.

"I'm just here to see you Steph" he said it nicely, which caught me by surprise.

It was no secret in the burg that our divorce was anything but calm. This was mainly because of the act that resulted in the divorce. I caught Dickie banging Joyce Barnhardt on my kitchen table when I came home from work early one day.

"Yeah right you piece of shit, what do you want?" I asked my voice was dripping with venom now that I'd recovered from my temporary lapse in judgement.

"Well" he said now his voice had the same edge as mine, I guess he figured there was no point faking niceness if I wasn't going to fall for it. "There's something that wasn't dealt with during our divorce because i didn't think there was any reason, but I've just realised recently that you're more of an annoying bitch then I thought you were."

"Gee thanks Dickie" I said sarcastically "But I don't have any idea of what you're talking about"

Of course I knew exactly what the dickhead was going on about. It was a safety deposit box that had only been in his name, but when I discovered it I decided that since we were married it should have my name on it too. At the time I was a bit angry with him for some reason so I had forgotten to tell him about it and then the fateful day with Joyce came around and I put it out of mind forever. The box hadn't been brought up during our divorce because I forgot about it and obviously Dickie didn't think I knew and had wanted to keep it that way. I guess now he needed it and because the box was in the highest security bank available he was going to need my permission to do whatever it was he wanted to do. But judging by the way he had treated me this morning already I wasn't going to let him touch anything in that stupid box yet.

"Don't play dumb Steph, even though i know you're good at it" Dickie sneered "I know you know what I'm talking about and you have no idea what you've got yourself into"

"I don't care, I'm going to make you suffer at least a little bit longer" I shot back at him.

"Any new FTA's?" I asked Connie who had just been standing there watching me and Dickie.

"Yep, there's one here for quite a bit of money" She replied

"Great I'll take it"

"You wanna come along for the ride Lula?"

"You betcha skinny white ass I do" Just like Lula

I stalked out of the office before Dickie could say anything. Lula gave him her best death stare and followed me out.

My phone rang while I was in the car.

"Cupcake?"

It was Joe.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I'm just letting you know that i might be running a little bit late tonight, so if I'm not at your apartment by quarter to 6, go without me and I'll meet you there"

"Ok, but try not to be late, dad hates it when his food is late" I said with a laugh

Joe laughed as well "I'll try" and disconnected.

"So what's up with this FTA?" Lula asked once I was off the phone.

I opened the file and read.

"His name is Ted Barry and he's wanted for B & E, it looks like it shouldn't be too hard."

Lula and I pulled up a little bit down the street from the FTA's house. We just sat there for a couple of minutes contemplating how it was going to go down. Judging by my record, probably not well.

"Are we going to do this or what?" Lula asked impatiently.

"I suppose"

"Right then, get your skinny ass out of the car and go get him"

Excuse me? "What? You're not coming?"

"No way, I'm not ending up on my butt this early in the day"

I shook my head and got out of the car. "If you hear anything funny, you'd better come and help"

"Of course"

I don't know why I bothered to bring Lula with me, most of the time she was worse at this job then I was. I guess I just liked a bit of company.

I walked up Ted's driveway, took a deep breath and knocked...

"What'd ya want?" I heard someone yell from inside.

"Could you open the door please?" I yelled back

I could tell that this probably wasn't going to well.

The door swang open and I was faced by a tall, skinny man with a rough looking face and a scar that split is left eyebrow in half.

I took a step back from the door and introduced myself.

"My name's Stephanie Plum, I work for Vinnie's Bond Agency and you missed your court date. I need to take you downtown to reschedule." Sometimes this line worked, but usually only on weak criminals when there charges weren't severe.

Ted started laughing. "As if I'm going with you"

"You just need to reschedule, it won't take too long"

"You know what wouldn't take too long?" He asked with a sinister smile. "For me to pull this shotgun from behind the door and pull the trigger in your pretty little face"

Well that just about did it for me. I was hungry and there was no way I was taking on a crazy guy with a shotgun.

"Right well maybe I'll leave it for now" And I hightailed it out of there; reaching Lula in record time.

"Jesus, what's got you in such a hurry?" Lula asked

"Oh nothing... He just didn't want to reschedule" I said gasping for air. "How about we get some lunch?"

"Sure why not" She gunned the engine and took off.

Crap, I thought, I really need a new job. I was pretty sure that something was going to happen and I'd probably end up dead for some stupid reason.

After lunch we decided to go after an easier FTA, maybe one that would pull a shotgun out.

"Ok" I said to Lula, "Let's go pick up Annie Long."

"What's she up for?"

"Umm, looks as though she assaulted her boyfriend at the time"

"Probably deserved it" Lula replied

Maybe... I just hope she didn't want to take out any leftover anger on me.

"Right, hopefully this time I'll bring her back, but just in case be ready to make a speedy get away" I told Lula as I prepared myself for another disaster.

I knocked on the door just as I did last time. But this time it opened straight away showing me a pretty looking girl with blonde curly hair that hung neatly around her face. Bitch, I wish I had neat curls.

"Annie Long?" I asked cautiously

"Yeah"

"My name is Stephanie, you missed your court date and I'm here to take you...""OHHH... You're a bounty hunter!"

"Well I'm an apprehension agent"

"What ever... I don't think I want to go with you" and with that she pushed me into the bushed that were sitting in front of the window.

Shit, there was no way I was letting two skips get away in one day. I jumped up and chased her down the street. After about 2 minutes I was puffing significantly but I was catching up to her.

Finally, after chasing her around the street twice and getting hit with the contents of a garbage bin I caught up to Annie. I tripped her to the ground and put my cuffs on her. I stood up and felt pretty proud of myself; even though I had a couple of nasty scratches on my arms and I smelled like a trash can.

"Geez... you know you didn't have to run like that" I said as I dragged her towards the car.

"Yeah i did actually, people already think I'm a crazy bitch"

No kidding I though. "Oh yeah? Why is that?"

"Because the only reason I beat the shit out of my worthless boyfriend was because he called me fat... and I had PMS"

"Ha he deserved it"

"Yeah that's what I thought too" she answered as she got in the car.

The ride to the station was pretty uneventful; we all just rode in silence. When we got there I took Annie in and ignored the comments of the other cops about the smell; I collected my body receipt and left.

After chasing Annie around the street I desperately needed a shower and a nap.

I thought 2 o'clock in the afternoon was as good a time as any to go to bed so that's exactly what I did. When I woke up it was 5:15 and i had a sudden panic attack as i remembered i had to be at my mother's hours at 6. I quickly jumped in the shower again, then did my hair and make-up; as it turned out the look wasn't really what i was going for but it would have to do.

As I finished my make-up I heard the sound of breaking glass in the kitchen.

"Joe?"

No answer

Shit

Of course, a person breaking into my apartment wasn't exactly abnormal, but that doesn't mean that i don't almost mess myself every time it happens. I checked my clock, 5:44, Joe would be here at any moment so I decided to just play it safe and i stayed in my bedroom until i heard his fantastic voice.

"Cupcake?"

"I'm in the bedroom" I replied loudly

I heard him move through my apartment and heard him stop at where i suspected was probably the kitchen at the scene of the broken glass.

"Steph... Why is there glass all over your floor?"

Slowly I made my way out of the bedroom. In the whole minute I had been waiting for Joe I had tried my best not to cry, but I knew in doing so I'd probably gone all red and blotchy.

"What's wrong? You didn't break this glass did you?"

I didn't trust myself to speak so i just shook my head.

"Crap!"

He quickly took me in his arms and held me tight.

"I don't want you to stay here tonight... Please come home with me after your parents house. I'll get a team in here to see if they can find any prints."

"OK" was all i could really manage.

I quickly went into my bedroom and gathered a few things I'd need for the night and tomorrow.

"We're running late for dinner" I said as Joe rushed me out the door.

I was lucky that Joe was a cop and every other cop in the city knew his car. Because on the way to dinner he broke almost every traffic law possible in the short journey. We managed to arrive at the house at 6:02.

My mother was waiting at the front door.

"Quickly" she said "You're father is waiting"

Joe and I rushed through the door and quickly sat down at the dinner table. My dad served himself first as always and then the rest of us had our food.

"I'm going to the Mary Angelo viewing tonight, I really hope it's an open casket" Grandma Mazar said between mouthfuls of potato.

I saw my mother made a cross over her chest. I knew if it wasn't an open casket Grandma Mazar would find some kind of way to get it open anyway.

"Didn't Mary die in a car crash?" Joe asked

My mother's face contorted with horror.

"Yeah, I want to see how well she's been patched up" Grandma said with a big smile.

No one said anything. Joe was trying really hard not to laugh and my mother made another cross.

My father mumbled something into his plate which sounded a lot like "crazy old woman"

"You know Stephanie I was speaking to your cousin Kathy today and she said that there's a job open at the dentist's surgery for a receptionist." My mother told me, "Maybe you should consider it."

Morelli raised his eyebrows at me and I sent him a glare.

"Mum, I like the job I'm going now"

"Yeah Stephanie's a kickass bounty hunter" Grandma said

This time Joe couldn't keep his laughter to himself. I send him another glare and he tried to control himself.

My mother also added "You know Kathy has just got engaged as well"

Crap here it comes...

"When are you two going to get married?"

"Mum do we have to do this now?" I asked exasperated

"I hear that women only like to get married to men that are good in the sack" Grandma said as she joined the conversation. "Joseph, maybe you're not doing something right, maybe you should see someone about that."

This time it was my time to laugh. Lucky for Joe his pager went off so he could avoid a conversation about his sexual ability, although his ability has never been under question.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Plum could I please use your phone?" He said with a polite smile.

"Of course Joseph" He got up and left.

"He's such a polite young man"

I nearly choked on my food, "Did mum just say that a Morelli was polite?" I never thought I'd hear her ever say that.

"So about marriage..."

"Mum, seriously I don't want to have this conversation right now"

Truth be told I really didn't know why I couldn't marry Joe. Sometimes I wanted to but then other times I wanted to keep my independence. Joe returned to the table with his cop face on.

Crap; that usually meant something was wrong.

"You alright?"

"I think we should get take-away desert" Joe said

"That's fine I'll put the cake in a bag for you" my mother said sweetly

Joe just smiled and stood up from the table. 5 minutes later we had cake in a bag and were on our way out the door.

The drive home was increasing quite, until finally I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Joe?"

"Yeah cupcake"

"Are you going to tell me what's happened?"

He sighed heavily. "Can we please wait till we get inside?"

I agreed only because we were 2 minutes away from the house.

Once inside Joe sat me down on the couch and sighed again.

"Joe, please stop sighing you're making me nervous"

"Good Steph you should be nervous, I don't know how you've done it but somehow you've got yourself caught up with drug gangs."

"huh?"

"The team I sent to check out your apartment after we left found prints and a note... The prints matched a man that it a known hitman for the Vice Lords"

"Shit!"

Joe got up and started walking around the room.

"What are we going to do?" I asked cautiously, I could tell he was pretty upset.

"I want to lock you in the house and not let you out until every single one of the gang members are in prison"

I looked at him incredulously.

"I know, I know, but I just want to keep you safe."

Hang on a second... why was Joe taking this so well? Usually he would have let his Italian temper take over by now.

"Why are you being so calm about this?"

He smiled at me. "I think I'm beginning to realise that no matter how hard I try there's no point trying to get you to do something I know you won't do" he said kissing me on the temple.

"Wow" I said clearly surprised

"But I'll need you to cooperate with all the police investigations"

I pulled him close to me. "You know... I really like this new, improved you"

He laughed "I thought you might... I've been thinking about what your grandma said..."

I looked at him and then laughed. "As if... But... Maybe you should remind me of your talents just in case"

"I think I can do that" he said and his eyes turned into the beautiful liquid chocolate they did when we was aroused and we quickly rushed upstairs.