Author: MoiraShipper
Summary: After avenging Qasim's death, Ellie doesn't know what else to do.
Million reasons
Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith
But baby, I just need one good one
Good one, good one, good one, good one, good one
Lady Gaga-Million Reasons
It was midnight and Ellie Bishop was lying in her apartment, staring at the yellow wall of the room, her beautiful brown eyes lifeless as she remembered about him.
"I love you Ellie forever," Qasim murmured as he pressed his lips to hers in a gentle but lovely kiss.
The blonde giggled, kissing him back before sitting on his lap and she stroked his beard, still giggling her brown eyes glittering with love and amusement as she stared at him.
"So romantic..."
And he laughed with her before he laid the blonde's head on his chest, kissing her hair and murmuring something in farce, leaving them in a comfortable silence in each other's arms.
Her cell phone was on the floor, vibrating with messages from Abby, Quinn, McGee and Clayton, all worried about her, but at that moment, for the first time in her life, she didn't want to answer the phone and pretend everything was fine because nothing was. She loved her friends but the world had lost Qasim and without him, it seemed that even the Earth wasn't rotating properly, that's what Ellie thought.
"Nothing seems right now." The blonde murmured to herself, rising from the couch and walking to her bed room where Qasim had been a few times, but that had turned it in theirs in Ellie's mind, with a book here, a t-shirt there.
Ellie was always nice, sweet, but in the last few days she seemed to recognize herself no longer, without Qasim and the wave of fury she felt for his murderer, which she herself had killed later consumed by her hatred. Her heart was broken.
Feeling tears stream down her face, she tossed away the objects from her desk, punching the desk hard, and crying, ignoring the sickness she felt. She had enough reasons to give up fighting, or so she thought. Qasim, the love of her life, was dead, she was near to lose her job, the thing she enjoyed and had worked so hard to get, had killed a person consumed by her revenge.
"Qasim, just give me a reason to keep fighting, please Qasim..." She cried as she sat on the floor, laying her head on the mattress of the bed.
When Bishop woke hours later, with a huge headache and an empty apartment, she looked at the mess in front of her and sighed, running a hand over her face and got up to collect the objects she had thrown on the floor.
But when she found a box of cupcakes among them, she frowned because it wasn't hers, but it must have been there for some time and she hadn't noticed it during her mourning. Opening the box, she realized that there was no cupcake inside, but a white gold ring with a single pink stone. Qasim already had her engagement ring. She let out a moan, a mixture of sadness and emotion.
And, she noticed that close to where the box was, was her calendar.
It was then that she realized that amidst the stress of the NCIS cases and the death of her love, she had been late by two months. And that explained why the nausea in the last days.
"Qasim, I will never forget that it was you who brought colors to my world in the last months... Thank you my love." Ellie said crying excitedly as she sat on the edge of the bed, lightly touching her belly with a small smile, and then, staring at the ring over her desk that she intended to carry with her along with her son.
Somehow, even though he was dead, Qasim had given her a reason to keep fighting, and she would be eternally grateful for it, until she could join him someday. And with that, Ellie opened a beautiful smile, getting up from the bed, ready to return the messages of her friends.