I own no copyright over the story or the characters, copyright belongs to BBC Spooks.
Shadows of our pasts Chapter 1
As Ruth approaches Thames house, all she can think about is the past.
Her past memories and shadows of her younger self. Bright and naïve, young and enger, she thinks of Harry making that ridiculous joke on her first day and smiles to herself despite all the gloom.
As she approached the pods she suddenly felt a surge of great loss go through her as she remembered reading Harry's extradite form to have him sent to America, it caused a sharp ache in her heart.
The feeling and the pain she felt was so powerful she had to steady herself against the glass doors.
She stepped out on to the dark blue setting that was the grid, the place in which only days ago she had worked but Harry on one of their encounters had told her to leave immediately.
She couldn't help wondering why she did these things for him and then she remembered, it was because she loves him.
It hurt more to imagine what could've been in that moment.
Calum approached as she tried to compose herself the best she could in this situation.
"Calum." She spoke with slight unease at her pain.
"Ruth!" Calum responded enthusiastically, "It's good to see you." He walked right up to her, unaware of her unease.
Ruth clears her throat before she speaks again.
"Wher-where's Harry?" She pondered turning to look into his office.
"He said he was popping out." Calum replied now aware that Ruth was staring in to space.
She was lost in thoughts and memories of past but recent encounters with Harry in that office and how they were merely shadows of those people now rippet apart by their personal losses and duty to the country... She thought about the time he had tried to comfort her after Jo's death how she had felt instant coldness towards him, she was still feeling torn over George and Nico. And time when she had begun to fall in love with him all those years ago. How she had felt when he told her he needed her.
And then she was pulled back from her thoughts by Calum's shouting.
"RUTH!" Calum shouted as she snapped out of her moment.
She turns around to face him and speaks, "Let me know when he's back I need to see him." She turns around and walks off in to the pods.
Calum's left to ponder and then sit down at his computer.
A tear falls down Ruth's face as she exits Thames house for the final time knowing she may never see Harry again.
Meanwhile…..
A while later Calum was stirred from his thoughts by the sound of pods whirring open and Harry's voice as he stepped on to the grid.
"Where have you been Harry?" Calum asks.
Harry sighs and takes a breath before he speak again.
"I'm being deported for the death of CIA agent Jim Coaver this morning, I went home to do a few things and I wanted to say goodbye." Harry replied with sadness in his voice.
Calum nodded in acknowledgement...
"I'm sorry Harry, but Ruth was here and she wants to see you." He replied, Harry at that moment felt a pain surge through his heart reminding him he still had the most heartbreaking goodbye of all left to live through, saying goodbye to Ruth.
"Right." Harry says acknowledging what Calum has told him.
Harry takes one last look at the grid as he disappears through the pods and the exits Thames house for good. As he does this he takes his phone of of his jacket pocket and dials Ruth's number.
Ruth who is back at the home office answers her phone immediately waiting with baited breath, she knows who it is immediately.
"Harry!." She quickly responds.