I hate that I've never written one of these. It's been super hard trying to find a unique way to approach this scene when so many of these stories are the same.
How did you guys let me live without one of these for so long? HA!
Yugi
A clear Egyptian sky lights up with orange and yellow as I freeze where I stand. I feel like my chest has tightened and my insides have gone numb. I try to keep it inside, but even there my feelings aren't safe from the one this news affects the most. I just heard that tomorrow, when I am to get off this boat, a volunteer strong enough to beat the Other Me has to challenge him. I swallow the lump down my throat through the tightness in my chest. I sense him appear next to me and I can feel his interest and curiosity is peaked too, but for once, I don't care what he's thinking. Then again, I feel like I am not able to focus on anything. I wonder if this single second will ever end. I want my body to feel again and I want my mental function back. I focus my eyes on Marik and pray that no one can see my inner panic attack lingering. He's nodding as he agrees with my prediction of the meaning of discovered scriptures.
Even in this state, I realize why I'm frozen. The answer came to me as soon as the words escaped Marik's lips. Who is strong enough? Who has the skill and, better yet, the courage to send my other self to the afterlife? Jounouchi and the others are debating this even after I have the answer in my head, but I say nothing. I will tell them in time. My other self doesn't look at me; he is genuinely focused on listening to Marik and the others. I don't bother to peer into his mind. Fuck, I don't even know what I am thinking, let alone can I learn what he is thinking.
My fingers flex outward behind me, out of anyone's line of sight. They search for the bars of the boat's railing. Of course, I am just a little too far to grab onto something. What am I doing? The answer came so simply. This should mean I'm ready to face any physical or mental challenge that comes my way. That is what he has been preparing me for all these years. So why am I feeling so damn scared? Sure, I could beat him. Couldn't I?
Beating Bakura wasn't some fluke. I did it all on my own. No outside help from anyone, other than the strength I find daily in my relationships with those around me. No supernatural power swooped down from Heaven to make me win suddenly. I have felt for a while that I've grown because of everything that's happened to me and Mou Hitori no Boku. My friends' bantering and comments ring in my ears like annoying bugs. I don't want to hear it anymore. I bite my lip and recommend to the others that we each take the time to think about it over dinner. My other self finally looks at me, his face stern yet puzzled at my sudden willingness to change the subject. Fuck him and his attempt to be surprised. I'm convinced he knows but I don't want to confirm it. I ignore him. Marik's expression mirrors my other self's yet I feel it is sincere. Isis' expression conveys something of sympathy. I push past them as if my insides aren't still twisting from mental trauma. I even resist looking back to see everyone else's stares into my back.
The galley is a level below our rooms and looks out at the Nile as it reflects the sunset. Under any other circumstances, I would try to enjoy this. Even knowing this would someday happen isn't enough to soften the blow. Because let's face it: I never expected to have to be the one to make it happen. He was just supposed to find who is and leave. I was never supposed to have to be the one to open that door. It will most certainly be too heavy for me. I will let him down. This terrifies me more than my future loneliness.
I barely touch my food while the others fair better than myself, though not by much. I keep my head down but steal glances Anzu's way in the galley. She picks at her food and doesn't eat a bite. She keeps touching her hair and flipping it over and over, even though I see no strands in her face. Jounouchi is contemplating reasons he should be the one to fight as some of his thoughts leak out. No one really responds, though. Kaiba is nowhere to be seen. Come to think of it, I never really followed where he was headed after we heard. None of their musings matter. None of Jounouchi's arguments will ever make a difference and even payoffs from Kaiba won't make me change my mind.
I'm the only one capable.
I really do have a shot at it. I take a small bite of my fish. It's at this point that I realize my other self hasn't shown himself since we stood on the stern. A literal mind reader, he always knows when I need privacy in my own mind. Everyone else in the world takes this type of privacy for granted. Realizing this provides me with a fresh stab of pain my chest. There is a good chance that at this time tomorrow, this privacy others call normalcy will be my normal again. This hurts a lot more than I ever expected it would. To never have my thoughts as purely mine and to have someone become aware of every change in my emotions and ideas is something I grew used to and enjoyed. He and I often joked that our relationship cheats with this method of connection. How many other couples are truly so connected that they are hyper-aware of the others' every thought and whim? I push my plate forward. I'm suddenly sick.
Seeing the depth of his heart drew me to him in ways I never would have dreamed. Most people who would realize that an ancient spirit was sharing their body would probably throw the puzzle into the ocean out of fear, or try to use such a person like a genie. I, however, saw him as a beacon to reach in my own pursuit of inner strength. And yet, that's not even the extent of it. I fell in love with him. But then again, how can two people be in love when the other sees their lover as a goal to reach because in the end, they are not equal.
It's not his fault; I'm the one who let it happen. What's more, he loves me in return. A confession was in the works for months after I finally realized I wasn't I only inhabitant of my own body. Love has always been intangible, but it takes on a whole other meaning when I look at my own romance with my other self. Irony is cruel. The built-up confession came the same night that he promised me would never end. He told me all he wanted to was to be with me. I should have paid more attention to his outward musings and stares out the window when he approached the topic of finding his memories again. Perhaps I did, but I didn't want to remember that. This realization makes me feel like the worst relationship partner ever. Here I am manipulating my own thoughts and memories while had none until recently. I wished with all my might he would truly own to the words he spoke that night and stay with me. I was the idiot who said I would help him do it. I'm the idiot who said I loved him. Making love to him all those nights was my physical manifestation of my prayer that he would stay. Even still, I'm the fool who will see this through. I may be throwing away the best thing that's ever happened to me for what he wants. Does that redeem my selfishness?
I hear someone refer to my other self by his name. I bite my lip and let them. He was never anything else to them but simply "Yugi" until recently. To them, there were times he and I were alike. When I was taken by the Orecalchos, I credit that as their true realization of our differences. Even so, they called him by my name until last month. I know he's his own person, that's why we're here. But I can't shake my feelin that ca are one, and that this life could continue on longer. It's what I would wish if I were granted a third.
"Yugi!"
Jounouchi snaps me out of my thoughts and I look up.
"Not hungry?" he asks, motioning to my plate.
I shake my head. "Sleep isn't the only thing jetlag has messed with," I lie with a smile.
He smiles and nods. "Mind if I take you out on deck for a sec?"
I know what he wants to talk about, and it means I have to say it. I have to tell the others what I've decided. "Sure!" I quip as I stand up.
I know Jounouchi will accept it better than Kaiba will. Still, as we head to the bow and into the starlight that has replaced the sunset painting from earlier, I can't help wondering if being the one to fight my other self is an extension of my desperation to keep him forever. If so, does that mean I really didn't grow the way he wanted.
Jounouchi
Honda and Ryuigi head back to their rooms before I do. Memory lane has me in its grasp and even though I'm not much for the overly sentimental, I can't help but remember what Yugi and I were talking about earlier. Reflection makes us appreciate what we have. Duelist Kingdom feels like it was an eternity ago. I guess it is. We've all changed for the better. I think we're all ready for the next stages of life. Fuck, I guess my change was transforming into a sap. I don't even recognize the me who would beat up little kids for kicks.
When Yugi told me he was going to fight Atem, I mentally slapped myself for never having thought of it myself. Baka! Of course he should! I have no right. I already fought him in the most honorable way. Duelist Kingdom ended with Yugi giving me the prize, Battle City ended with Atem giving me the duel I deserved. For that, I will always be grateful. This is my last act for him. He deserves to go out with a bang! Yugi can give him the fight of a lifetime!
But then…there is another reason I want him to fight. I want him to put it all on the table. I've been aware of their relationship since the moment I saw the look in Atem's eyes on the train ride in America. That kind of pain can only come from one place, and I've been there. I let Mai go to truly learn what she wants, and every day I pray that she comes back to tell me that she wants me like I want her. But I know she needs time to learn herself. I may not be the smartest guy in the world. Fuck, my grades are as such that I'm grateful I'm a senior with the tiniest shot at graduating. Even so, I know that Yugi is going through virtually the same thing I am. He has to figure out if his desire is selfish. But unlike me, he has the opportunity to manipulate his situation. Yugi is too honest for that. It will honorable.
But still…what would I do in this situation? If I could make Mai stay, even if it meant letting her lose a part of her own life experiences, would I really make what I want happen?
Speaking of unrequited love… What is Anzu still doing up?
At this point, I'm walking back to my room, but seeing her coming out of Yugi's room makes me stop in my tracks. She pauses just outside the door and collapses against it, silent tears streaming down her face. Of course, they're preparing for the duel. She won't be able to say goodbye the way she wants. Is everyone heartsick here?
Yugi and I can only guess where our love stories will end. Anzu's end is certain. She is on the losing side. I see it whenever Yugi mentions Atem. I see it when Anzu looks at Yugi as if she wants to say something, but can't. I saw it plainer when Yugi touched Atem's face after the battle with Zorc. Anzu will never have either. That is, if she knew at all which she truly loved. It suddenly hits me. I can't fight Atem tomorrow, but I can still help.
"Anzu!" I step towards her.
Her head jerks up and she immediately looks away. Her hand moves to her face before she faces me again. "Jounouchi…I-"
I touch her shoulder. She needs to hear it. But not here. I steal a glance at the door. Yugi and Atem deserve their long goodbye. Whatever the outcome, I know enough about my own love story to know that there will be no one else for either of them. I'll need to put all of my energy towards Yugi's healing if he is to win. For now, my attention must be given elsewhere to prevent damage before it happens.
Shit, I really did turn into a sap.
"Anzu, can I talk to you for a minute?"
She lets me lead her down the hallway to my cabin. Unlike on the blimp in Battle City, I have my own space to witness tomorrow's battle. The boat is large enough for that and I ignored my impulse before to ask Marik how much I'll owe him. Come to think of it, he owes me… Focus Jounouchi!
"Sit…" I have no clue how to start, so I head over to my bathroom to get her a glass of water. She's sitting in the plush chair next to my bed silently, her mind obviously on what happened to her minutes ago. I hand her the water and she takes it in her hands only a moment before she sets in on the table.
I stay standing and wring my hands together, unsure of how harsh to be. Is it time for more tough love than understanding, or is sympathy the way to take it. Maybe-
"I know what you're going to say, but you can't stop me from going to him in the morning." Anzu's voice is quiet, but it stops me in my tracks.
I tilt my head and brace myself on the table next to her. "What do you think I was going to say?"
"That I should take my chance later tomorrow. You're always one for dramatics. Tomorrow, when we go to the shrine, that's when I should?" Her blue eyes look angrily at me, but at the same time, she looks tired and desperate. Aw, fuck.
I say nothing for a moment and let her convince herself for the last time that her fight for the affection of one Yugi is continuing when the sun rises.
"Well I'm not going to wait, Jounouchi! I'll let them prepare. I'll let them sleep. But I want my own goodbye. I want my part of the story to end the way I want it to."
She says nothing; she simply looks at me. I meet her gaze unflinchingly.
"Who will you root for?" I ask simply.
Her face scrunches into a confused and frustrated look. "What?"
"Who are you going to wish victory on, Anzu?"
Her breaths become faster and her gaze on me breaks. "What kind of question is that? I care about both of them and honestly both outcomes would be a happy ending. I am rooting for a happy ending, Jounouchi. You can't tell me to take sides."
"Whose happy ending are you talking about?" I'm genuinely curious.
Her gaze was on the floor after her last answer, and it remains there as she says, "I…I want them to be happy… I want…"
I put a hand on her shoulder and bite my lip. I care about my friends, all of them. She deserves her own future free of guilt and regret. Yugi deserves his goodbye. It's like other people's parents would say: this hurts me more than it hurts you.
"Do you really mean that?"
She nods.
"Anzu, if you really want Yugi and Atem to be happy, you won't say anything tomorrow morning. Or at the shrine. Not even at the door, you can't say a word."
Her body convulses at me like I shocked her with a stun gun. She shoves me away with surprising force, but it's not enough to force me far or cause me any pain.
"The fuck do you mean? Of course I can! I'm their friend! I'm Atem's friend! I can say whatever I want!"
I lean forward and squat down in front of her. "Yes, as a friend you can say whatever you want. But Anzu, I know you want to say something as more than just a friend. You know I'm right."
She bites her lip. "Jounouchi, can I ask you something?"
I nod. Yugi taught me how to be a good friend. I wonder how he felt when I put him through things like this?
"When the Other Yugi got our Yugi back from Dartz, I felt…distant from them…" She pauses and I can tell she's trying not to cry.
I let out a long breath. Yeah, it was hard for me to get by that whole incident punching him in the face just once. But that did something to the two Yugi's. It did something to me, too, but this isn't my time to discuss my failed love life.
"I just want to know if…if it's wrong for me to want to repair that gap before something happens tomorrow," Anzu finishes, but she's holding back her real intention.
"Why?" I ask. "We've been friends for years."
Anzu's tears start again. "Because…I think-no! I love him!"
This is exactly why I'm here. Fuck.
"Anzu, you say you want to say goodbye before something happens, but I know that you understand that something has already happened."
She shakes her head, her tears falling freely. "No! I have to let him know before he leaves and I have to live with regret forever! I don't want to hurt like that!"
I bite my lip. "I think the question you really wanted to ask is, 'Is it ok to love him?' Right?"
Her silence says it all.
"Anzu, neither of them wants you to feel regret for the rest of your life. But as a friend, I have to tell you…give it up."
Her head snaps up and she's looking me dead in the eyes. "Wh-what?" her shock keeps her from lashing out at me. There's a time bomb…
"Anzu, I know that Yugi and Atem are…well, let's say they beat you to the punch. How long? I'm not sure. All I know is that when Yugi talks about his other self, I see him light up and when we found Atem in Egypt, I've never seen two people happier to see each other. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"
I sound like a moron from a badly written soap.
She sniffles and looks at me with a softer expression. "They're…in love…with each other?"
I nod. "Anzu, he's Yugi's. Yugi is his. In reality, I don't think you understand which you love. But after tomorrow, I know you think you'll be missing out on a great love story for yourself, but it's Yugi's. I don't…I don't want to hurt you Anzu. I love you as a friend, but this is what I want to help you with. I don't want you to live the rest of your life regretting something you never had nor could you ever have. Atem loves Yugi and after speaking with him over the years…I think he always did. I think they've been in love for a while. Strange though it seems, I'd call them a couple. This love story has been theirs to share. Their ending is shared between the two of them."
Her gaze is on the floor. "You don't need to tell me everything. I've known for a while."
I nod. Of course she knew. But denial is not something to let her live with the rest of her life. Maybe just me saying something will let her know that she can't live in denial when others know what she does.
"But Anzu, when you say 'him" which do you mean?"
She never answers me, she only cries. I wrap my arms around her now balled-up form on the floor. I hold my friend as she weeps for what I hope are the right reasons. She can cry this way for the rest of her life. She is crying for the loss of her friend. She cries because of the rejection. She is not crying for the loss of her happy ending. She is not crying for the loss of her great love. You cannot lose what you do not have. Anzu cries for what she could never take, not what slips through her fingers.
"He loves Yugi…" she sobs.
I simply nod.
"Right now they're probably m-"
"Shhhhhhh. It's not your life. Your life has dance school, and your own original love story waiting for you. It's coming for you, Anzu. You don't…You don't want the kind of pain Yugi's about to go through. You don't have to. I'm here to tell you that. You're not going to bear what he is."
I'm speaking from experience now.
Everyone on this boat is spending this, the last night of our involvement with the legends of Egypt, the quest for the god cards, and our experiences from the millennium items in a different way. I don't know how long it will be that I sit here holding my grieving friend, but I know it's my place. Everyone has their own story, but sometimes we need to make sure that others own the one they are meant to follow.
Honestly, tomorrow will bring me my own confusion. And as I look out the window at the moonlit sky and sparkling Nile, I wonder how I'm helping Anzu when I don't even know where I'm going.
Yugi
An honorable duelist must stay silent. His opponent is merely that and must not be disgraced by anything that would dishonor the grounds of the duel.
I'm sitting on the floor of my soul room, my back resting against the door. I'm trying not to cry, but even though I know that he cannot hear or sear me, I know it would break the very rules he and my jichan taught me. I promised him an honorable duel, and every rule must be adhered to in order to see it through. He is a king, and so he deserves as such.
I've lost track of how long it's been since I left him to strategize on his own through my musings and meditations over our relationship, both as lovers and as duelists. Though we share a body, I'd consider us a couple, as the world would label it. It's been this way since just before Battle City, but even now, how strong is that label in keeping us together? Because right now, I feel the same way I did when I realized he'd lied to me about his motivations in joining Battle City: his willingness to leave shows the fragility of our relationship. Now I have to stay silent, just like I did when I smiled and lied right back to him when I said I'd help. Now, my compulsion to stay silent is stronger than before, and I regret not saying anything earlier. I think I sabotaged my happiness. That is who I am and that is probably who I will be.
But that's not what I wanted. I wanted to be like him. I want to live my life brave, unflinching, and confident the way he lives his. I want-
"Aibou?"
My head has been hanging between my knees, and it snaps up at the sound of his voice. What is he doing here? He's supposed to put his deck together and get some rest. That's what we agreed to. Here I am trying to stay silent like a real duelist and warrior, and he's ruining it!
I bite my lip and stay silent, but I feel his presence on the other side of the door. He's not budging.
"Aibou…open the door."
I stay seated and bury my face in my hands. No, this is not happening. I wanted a clean break. Why won't he go away? I have to live the rest of my life without him, and I don't want to wait in agony. Let's stop now! Please!
"Aibou. I'm done. Would you just…just come out here and talk to me. I know you want to. I can't help but feel…we need to."
I feel the tears stinging my eyes, but I wipe them away with my sleeve. "Why?"
"Just…just open the door, love. Please. Don't let it end like this."
"Like what?"
"Like you don't give a shit."
My breath catches in my throat and I hold it there to keep the lump down as I feel myself beginning to cry. I don't want him thinking that at all. Now he's the one begging for me to come out to him. For a good part of our relationship, I was the one begging him to come to me and open up. Maybe I really have changed.
He hears this.
"Aibou, I know you don't want to break whatever rules you think I keep holy and sacred, but this night…tomorrow, they're different. This could be the end and I love you. So you know what? Fuck the rules!"
My forehead scrunches and my jaw slacks a little. I'm still not standing, but all of my attention is on the man standing behind the closed door I lean against.
"I don't give a shit about ritual, or what's sacred, or what's appropriate! Because at the end of the day, it's just a game!"
"A game that is going to send you away!" I can't stop myself from yelling back.
I feel his exasperation through the door. "You said you were on board."
I'm silent again.
"But I still don't care about anything I said about what makes a true duelist. Because you already showed me that you are one. Just accepting tomorrow's challenge shows me that you have more courage than anyone. That in itself is honor. Why torture yourself? Talk to me!" he pleads.
"Because talking to you makes it harder!" It's the God's-honest truth. "Kissing you, touching you, and making love to you tonight just draws it out. It will leave me wanting more when I know I can't!"
He pauses, but I know he doesn't really agree. "You could lose. I am pretty tough."
I bite my lip. His attempt at humor falls flat.
"Please…just go," I beg.
"You don't want that. So why don't you do both of us a favor, stop lying to both of us and open the door," he says, his voice never breaking.
"Mou Hitori no Boku, I'm trying to-"
"I said fuck it, Aibou! Quit taking this so Goddamn seriously!" he yells at me.
"Tomorrow makes all the difference!" I scream back.
"Damn it, tonight does too!"
"Why does it?" I ask. "Two years ago you said you wanted to be with me forever. Wasn't that supposed to make a difference?
This time, he's the one silenced by words that pass through the door.
"Other Me, tonight, my desires make no difference. Tomorrow has to happen. I can't be selfish tonight. I can't open this door because that would be selfish. You deserve the chance to go where you deserve to be," my voice shakes, but never breaks as I speak. "Please, don't make me show you my selfishness."
"Aibou…"
I bite my lip. "I love you, Mou Hitori no Boku."
"I love you too, Aibou. That's why I want to savor this. I said I want to stay with you forever, and let me show you how I can. Make this night last forever with me."
Tears start to fall down my face.
"I made a promise, and I won't break it. Please. Aibou." His voice is soft now. Hearing it makes my heart hurt.
My mental weakness in the light of his pleadings and my tears unlock the door. Whether I meant it intentionally or not, I'm not sure. Deep down, I'm glad for it.
When he hears the click of the lock, my other self immediately grabs the handle and I move out of the way of the door, awkwardly getting on my feet like a baby giraffe taking its first steps. My back is still towards the door when he opens it. I'm frantically trying to hide the evidence of the tears that were present only a moment ago.
His arms wrap around me from behind and his grip is tight. His face buries itself in the crook of my neck and I feel his hot breath on the back of my shoulder.
"You don't look the least bit selfish. You're still the strong duelist I fell in love with. Taking advantage of a moment isn't selfish…" he pauses to kiss the side of my neck. "It's what will make me stay with you forever."
"You promised-"
"Aibou, no matter what happens tomorrow, I did promise that I want to be with you forever," he says as his hands reach to touch the backs of mine, our fingers interlacing. "I'm sorry I couldn't promise you how. But Aibou, I love you. If anything, I want us to spend this time together so that we never forget that. This love is unlike anything I've ever experienced. I remember everything clearly, and I can say that with absolute certainty. Let me give you every ounce of that love."
"Let me make love to you," I say. Because at this point, it's the only way I can give. It's the only way I can leave my mark with him.
A bed sits in the corner of my soul room. I lead him to it, making our way around the toys that lay on the floor. I know he's noticed, but as I've changed, there are fewer now that when we first discovered this room.
I remove my jacket on my own. All the while, his eyes look intensely at my face.
"We don't have to, you know," he says. I continue to disrobe. "Aibou?"
"Take your pants off or I will," I command.
He gives a tiny smile and shakes his head as he removes his jacket that is identical to mine. "I can give you forever just as easily by talking and sitting still with you," he says, amusement in his eyes.
I crawl onto the bed on all fours, sliding my hands over the silk sheets that are as smooth as a sheet of ice. I turn to lie on my back, my head on the pillow, and my eyes taking in the sight of him fully for the first time since he entered my room.
His light skin tone matches mine now, but I know that was not always the case in his first life. What would it have been like to do this with him then? I bite my lip as he removes his shirt and joins me on the bed. I have not reduced my clothing to this level yet, but I'm not concerned. He will take care of that for me momentarily.
"Actions speak louder than words," I quip as I adjust myself to a comfortable position.
He crawls to cover my fully clothed torso with his bare chest. His eyes hone in on mine instantly and I'm lost in them. Those eyes will be gone in mere hours. I want to look at them every second.
He kisses me with a fervor I understand all too well. I indulge in it immediately. I kiss him back with as much force and passion I can muster. We've made love many times and some may consider sex at this point to be mundane and just the same as always. Even though tonight is different, I want to take it for granted like that. Taking something for granted means you have it. It's familiar and you feel it will be familiar forever. I don't want to tell myself it could be our last time. I don't want to feel that way. It's just sex with the man I love. It's as simple as that.
My worries are forgotten, as is my fear of selfishness and any rituals he was thought to hold dear. As my clothes are stripped away, so is time. I cling to him. Our eyes are locked in an intense and loving gaze that neither of us breaks. This is my soul room. Here, we have our own bodies. Our own entities. Our bodies are familiar to each other. We navigate them according to our memories. This muscle memory makes it easy for me to look into his dark eyes, all while removing the last scraps of clothing that separate us.
Finally, we are both naked. I purse my lips as I stroke his face. His hand is next to my face on the pillow, the other is moving slowly up the inside of my thighs to my sack. I let out a quick breath and my right leg jerks at the feather-light touch. I never let my eyes leave his. The thumb of the hand next to my face reaches out and begins to stroke my cheek. His hand that lies between my legs runs its way over my testicles and wraps itself around my hardness. I cup his face in my hands and I finally break our gaze by kissing him full force again.
Finally, he releases his weight and meshes our bare chests together just as he pushes into me. I cry out at the penetration, not because it's a surprise, but because it feels all new again. It's not like my painful first time and it's not the mundane sex of a long-term couple, it's discovering what lovemaking is. For the second time in my life, I'm learning the connection between sex and undying love. Our arms wrap around each other so that we are essentially hugging horizontally. I want to hold onto him as tightly as possible. His long arms easily wrap themselves around my frame that is now larger than our first few times, but still small compared to his.
I don't feel so small inside.
He begins to grunt and thrust into me. He lays kisses to my face and my chest as he lifts himself again. I run my hands over his shoulders and look up at his strong, muscular form moving above me. I feel so full inside physically and emotionally. So much love and so much pleasure. This is the man I love. He's not just fucking me, he's loving me. We're in love. In this moment, he's inside me. In this moment, we are together. He hits that spot inside me. I cry out. His hips begin to speed up. No, not yet. Don't let it end.
"Please…slow," I somehow manage. Oh it feels so good. I want to savor it. I need to savor it.
His member is moving slower in me. Still, as I feel him pull out, each nerve tingles with the pressure of his efforts to be still. I begin to pant as the pleasure builds despite his slow movements. In and out… He kisses my lips. Our hands bump into each other as we both reach for my member. Our kisses break as we both chuckle.
I smile and remove my hand. "You want to-?"
"I got it. I'm sure you can't doubt my abilities," he says coyly, wrapping his fist around my member.
His manhood continues its slow assault as his hand beings to pump my most tender of places. His grunting resumes and I can't help the sounds that escape my mouth. We're both getting closer. Yet, it's not a desperate feeling of impending pleasure. The slowness allows for the tenderness of our actions to show itself.
"F-faster," my voice comes out sounding like a whimper like that of someone crying. It's the most I can muster through the intense feelings radiating from my nether regions. I'm ready. Release will happen tomorrow. This release will be a different freedom.
His hips speed up. The tingling in my cock increases. My cries become louder. They are incoherent, as are his grunts and groans. We enjoy each other's bodies. My hips are going wild to match his pace. My eyes are squinting but still meeting his eyes again. My hands are suddenly without a sure place to be. Eventually, we find ourselves in our original position of hugging, my arms now looped around his back to grab his shoulders in my sweaty palms. My fingers dig into his shoulders harder and harder as I feel my climax approaching. I'm terrified of it and yet I'm reaching for it.
Then, the cable snaps and I spiral into the awesome pleasure that is my orgasm. My fingers dig into his shoulders and he clutches me close. I feel his hot essence fill me. My back arches and my eyes close. It's almost too much to handle.
"I love you!" my choking voice manages.
His heavy breathing is interrupted by a deep groan from his throat. His arms and chest tense up against every inch of my skin as he rides his own orgasm.
And then, it's over.
I have to keep myself from crying again. Our bodies are still and all is silent. I feel alone even as his cock is buried inside me, his body covering mine, and his seed leaks out of me. This is what the rest of my life will be. I'm spent. My love can go on for him. But I'm suddenly aware that this was the last time I will ever have sex. Or, at the very least, the very last time it will mean something. This is the last evidence of the deepest connection I will ever have with another human being.
And yet, he's been dead the whole time I've known him. He can't belong here. He could win. But right now, in my soul room filled with the scent of our sex and sweat, I see the future. I will win. I will say goodbye. This moment shows me the rest of my existence. It will be one without him. Our love with the climax of my life. Yes, I will write my story. Even so, I'm terrified and certain that it will not beat this. The new morning will not be the beginning, but the continuation of this moment.
My life story beings as my love ends. Or was my love story my life story?
I'll love him forever. I'll never forget him. He's given me so much. He says I gave him a lot, too. I can't complain. Many don't know true love at any point in their lives. I will never regret opening the door to him tonight, or ever.
I feel his arms hold me as he kisses my check. His eyes bore into mine.
"I love you too, Aibou."
Outside my window, the sun makes its presence known with the sparkling of the Nile. We don't move. We prefer the darkness of the night. The sun is relentless, but so are we.
Done! Perhaps not entirely what I wanted toward the end, but this was wayyyyyyyyyy past due. I based some of this after the doujinshi 'Your Funeral, My Trial' which I do not own, but I figured it needed some credit. I'd like to thank the Titanic theme for putting me in the right mental state. Also my boyfriend chizdawg89 for being oblivious to the fact that I take mental notes on how to narrate such scenes as act three of this story. TMI? Oh, if only my readers knew that my talent (or lack thereof) does not come from where you think…
Anyway…
Please review! No flamers, but constructive criticism is welcome.