Chapter 1—

Tick. Tock.

The leather texture imprints itself on the lines in the palm in the palm of my hand as I grip it harder. Sweat breaks through the skin. I find myself slightly perspired. Be cool. Be calm. Be collected. Be unfazed.

Who the fuck am I kidding?

With one swift movement, I throw the camera out the window. Loaded with film, with memories, with the past. Nothing can contain her. I certainly have learnt not to do so any longer. It is beyond my control.

Fuck it.

I stare at the glass shards lying on the ground. A moment ago, it was connected. And something clicks in me. Snaps. And I run.

I start tearing through my darkroom. Red is all I see. Red is what I am now. I rip every ounce of memory I have of her. It is beyond my control.

Fucking bitch.

My fingers feel the glossiness of recent photos, of old ones, of long buried ones as I let the red take over my fingertips. Fuck you. Fuck the both of you. To think you were naïve enough to hope. Well fuck that.

Memory after memory start disappearing before me. Evidence of moments are now fucked up. Like the two of us. It was never meant to stick.

I grab a nearby box and start throwing every single frame I have of the two of us, the ones I deemed important and shoved them in. The hinges come off the door as I head back into my room and throw them in my fireplace. Red comes forth on the paper after a few seconds and I set to work on my bed.

I frantically tear the sheets off, the comforter, the pillow, the pillowcases. Every fucking thing. I make a gigantic mess, light a match and throw it.

I turn to my shelves and zone in the middle one. Machines, those goddamn tools that took all those goddamn photos. I loved them, took care of them, made sure I would murder whoever took them from me. They were a cathartic sanctuary for me, ignited power and control in my veins whenever I held one. I could no longer feel my fondness for them. All I felt was anger and betrayal. Fuck it.

I shoved them all off of their places onto the floor.

And just then my door opens and I see her. She takes a look around at the chaos I've created and dares to speak.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing you little whore?! Get the fuck out of my room."

I can tell she's livid but I don't give a fuck. She doesn't move, doesn't move a muscle and stares at me.

"Fine, have it your way. I'll leave. I can't stand to be in the same room as you. You disgust me." I muster with as much malice as I can at this point. The energy was quickly draining out of my system.

I stride towards her direction and almost make it to my escape when she stops me with her hand on my chest.

"Sebastian, don't leave."

I grimace before pure red takes over my eyes.

"It is beyond my control."

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