Under Feet Like Ours – Chapter 1
What am I doing?
The elegant building seemed to leer back at her—baiting her to answer.
Why am I here?
The building continued on being imposing. Quinn continued to look like a deer in headlights, even though she walked here on purpose. She walked to NYCDA. On purpose. With purpose.
Quinn took out her phone and queued up the text she had typed up since she got to New York. All she had to do was hit "Send".
I'm in town. Do you want to meet for coffee or something?
It was brief. It was to the point. It wasn't quite HBIC, but it wasn't quite floundering puppy either. It was totally acceptable. Or at least, it would have been—if she had sent it when she had first moved to New York…two months ago. Yeah, about that…
Forget it.
The blonde dejectedly threw her phone back into her bag, turned around and headed home—a floundering puppy with her tail between her legs.
Rewind back to graduation. Or rather, the post-graduation party at Rachel's house. Quinn sat on the Berry basement floor, watching Rachel sing a flawless rendition of Love is a Battlefield for no other reason besides Finn saying, "We are young!" in response to Rachel pressing him to at least apply to community college. Quinn simply watched her, mesmerized, nursing a soda. She was amazing.
Rachel and Quinn were no longer enemies, but Quinn wouldn't call them friends. Even though Rachel was nothing but kind and open with the blond, Quinn could barely muster more than the absolutely essential conversation and a shy smile every now and then. She didn't understand why. She didn't understand anything when it came to Rachel. All she knew was that Rachel was amazing, and Quinn did not want to lose sight of her.
Quinn didn't even notice Puck had sat down next to her until he nudged her shoulder.
"Hey, Fabray."
"Hey, Puck," she responded, not taking her eyes of the tiny brunette before her, now trying to convince Kurt to sing Celine's That's the Way it Is with her.
"So are you going to tell Rachel tonight? Because it would probably be the best time."
"Tell her what?" Quinn played dumb, still watching the star.
"That you are going to NYU. I mean, what if you run into her next semester? That will be way more awkward than simply telling her where you are going to college now."
Puck had no idea. However, in his defense, neither did Quinn.
"I don't think so."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
It was true. Quinn was leaving for New York, just like Rachel. She had secretly applied to NYU and, by some work of God, was accepted with a decent scholarship. When she got her acceptance letter back in February, she ran around her house about four times before her mother stopped her, completely unaware as to why her daughter was celebrating and/or undergoing a mental break. Unable to form words, Quinn simply thrust the letter in front of her mother's face. Once it sunk in, Judy began to celebrate and/or undergo a mental break as well. The two of them went to Breadstix to celebrate.
Many breadsticks later, Quinn sat in her room with her phone out. She didn't know who to tell. Her mom was so excited and proud. Would any of Quinn's friends feel the same?
She knew who she wanted to tell. She wanted to tell Rachel Berry. After all, she would be in New York too, right? She had been officially accepted to NYCDA last week. She should know that Quinn would be just across town. Quinn would certainly know that Rachel would be just across town.
But that would be weird though. Texting Rachel would be weird. Telling Rachel would be weird. Of course, applying to NYU almost solely because Rachel would be in the same city is also weird.
Why did she do that?
Why did she want to be in the same city as Rachel Berry?
The answer was obvious. It was because Rachel Berry was something to Quinn. Something she didn't want to lose quite yet.
So maybe the answer wasn't obvious, but it was all she had.
So instead, Quinn told Puck. He might seem like a strange choice, but having a baby with someone changes your relationship. No matter what happened, Quinn knew she could always count on Puck—for comic relief, if nothing else.
Puck, guess what!
What?
I got accepted to NYU!
U serious right now?
I would not lie about this!
AWESOME! Does ur mom kno?
I know, right? Yeah, I told her as soon as I got the letter!
Freakin sweet! Then i guess i have something to tell u too.
At this, Quinn was slightly surprised. What could Puck have to tell her?
What?
I GOT ACCEPTED TO FORDHAM!
WHAT? Since when?
Yesterday! Got in AND they offered me a football scholarship! They dont even care that im a Jew!
Wait…why does your being a Jew matter?
They are a catholic university or something but i guess im just too badass to turn away ;)
Puck that is so great! I am so proud of you!
Thanks Quinn! I guess we should tell Berry huh?
Quinn froze. Even Puck thought that they should tell Rachel. And Quinn knew that she should tell Rachel. She WANTED to tell Rachel. That was the whole point! But she just couldn't.
You go ahead. I think I'm going to keep this to myself for awhile.
What? Why?
Noah, please, just don't tell anyone, okay?
She was sure Puck was confused by this, but she had to hope he would just go with it. A minute later he responded.
Alright whatever Quinn.
Quinn threw her phone down in a sudden bout of frustration. What the heck was she doing? There was no denying that Rachel was at least fifty percent of the reasoning behind applying to NYU, so why couldn't she just text the diva? What the fuck, you know?
Puck knew that Quinn had a thought process behind keeping this from Rachel, but in that moment, he would have given anything to know what it was. Still, he stopped trying to read the blonde's expression and focused on Rachel instead. At the same time, Quinn knew she was practically torturing the boy, but she also knew he wouldn't pry. Puck truly was a nice guy. The mohawk just threw people off.
"What is it about her, Puck?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why can't I stop watching her?"
"The same reason no one else can, Baby-Momma. She's amazing."
"Yeah, I guess." No, totally wrong. Quinn's reasons where completely different from everyone else's reasons. They had to be. "She is completely amazing."
Then Rachel's eyes met Quinn's. She didn't hesitate in delivering a huge smile. Quinn could only offer one of her shy grins, and then she quickly got up to throw away her soda can. It was practically full. Still, she went over to the cooler to get another. After picking a can at random, Quinn turned around to continue watching Rachel only to find the girl in question standing right in front of her.
"Jesus Christ," Quinn said through clenched teeth.
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to startle you Quinn!" Rachel said hurriedly.
"No, it's fine, I'm just…yeah." They let both let out nervous laughs and fell into an awkward pause.
Rachel took notice of the soda in Quinn's hand. "Ah, grape, my favorite!"
Truth be told, Quinn had no idea what kind of soda she was holding in her hand, but thankfully she did enjoy grape. "Oh, really, mine too." She let loose one of those shy grins.
"So, here we are—high school graduates. Daunting, isn't it?"
"A bit."
"Oh, I don't think I ever asked you! Where are you going to go?" Rachel practically beamed with excitement.
It would be so easy just to tell her, but then she would have to tell her why she chose NYU. And sure, it would be equally as easy to lie and simply say, "It's a great school with a great program." But even though that's true, it's still a lie because it wouldn't be the truth. Quinn was pretty sure that the line, "I don't want to lose sight of you," wouldn't really go over well with Rachel Berry.
"Uh, I'm still actually looking over options, so…" she trailed off. Quinn knew this was a stretch. What sane person wouldn't know what college they were going to after graduation? Now she just looked like an idiot. Fantastic.
"Oh," Rachel said, a small frown falling on her face. They entered their second awkward silence. Quinn examined the nutritional information on her still unopened soda. Grape. Rachel's favorite.
"Quinn," Rachel ventured.
"Yeah," Quinn answered, meeting her gaze. It was like Rachel's eyes trapped her right where she stood so Rachel could open the floodgates.
"I know we aren't exactly friends, but at least we aren't enemies. And I know I'm going to NYCDA and you are going…wherever you end up going, but," she paused to take a breath. Quinn took one too. "I hope we can still keep in touch." She concluded with a confident smile.
Quinn's heart soared. "Of course, Rachel. You think I'm going to let you become this huge Broadway star without keeping tabs on you?" She managed to quirk an eyebrow for emphasis.
"You mean that?" Rachel practically squealed.
"Absolutely."
And yet, Quinn was now making her way to the subway to return to her apartment. She hadn't spoken to Rachel since the party. She was breaking her promise. It's not like she wanted to—she just couldn't bring herself to do anything else.
As she walked onto the subway, Quinn realized that it was finally starting to become chilly. Fall was upon the city. She made a mental not to grab cardigan the next time she left her apartment.
Rachel.
Rachel Berry.
Why did that name run on repeat in Quinn's brain?
Why did she make her way to NYCDA every day only to turn back?
None of this ever made sense to Quinn. None of it. Ever. But it was how she lived. In fact, aside from her seemingly pointless trips to NYCDA, life was pretty good. She loved everything about NYU—her classes, her teachers, her freaking textbooks—she loved it. She saw Puck every few weeks. She had a great apartment and her roommate was literally the happiest accident she ever experienced.
Yeah, it was definitely better than the life she had cooked up for her and Finn in Lima. So much better. And she had Rachel to thank for that.
Rachel.
God dammit.
Quinn fished out her keys from her bag, let herself in and put her keys on the hook by the door.
"Heeey," she yelled through her home.
"Whaaat?" came her roommate's reply. It was coming from the room they both deemed "the study". It easily could have been the living room, but considering two of the walls were completely made up of windows, they both decided that "the study" was much more appropriate.
Quinn made her way to the study to find her roommate, Gabby Connor, comfortably reading Moby-Dick a black leather loveseat.
"Moby-Dick? Is this for class?"
Gabby did not look up from her book. "No. Just trying to make my high school Literature teacher proud." Not missing a beat, she added, "How was your trip to NYCDA today?"
"Fine. It's getting chilly though."
"Am I ever going to meet Rachel?"
"Yes."
"When?" Gabby smirked at her.
Quinn grinned back. "When I finally tell her I'm here."
"Oh, so I'm not meeting her?"
"I guess not."
This was routine. It was their dynamic as roommates and friends. Quinn had only known Gabby for a little over four months, but they both felt completely at ease with each other. It was okay to talk about the elephant in the room with them. Gabby had to be completely upfront with people, so she expected the same from everyone else. Quinn was happy to oblige.
Gabby put her book down on the side table next to her chair, crossed one arm over her chest and leaned her head on the other thoughtfully. "Quinn Fabray, what are we going to do with you?"
"I clearly have no idea."
They both grinned at each other before Gabby asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
Quinn had met Gabby during her campus orientation visit in June after being accepted. Her mother was sitting on a bench, busy looking through a campus map, trying to orient themselves, and Quinn was pouring over boarding options, trying to figure out where she wanted to live. Everything was so confusing, and even with her scholarship everything was so expensive. She was so focused on her housing packet that she literally walked into another human being. As soon as Quinn realized she had collided with someone she jumped back, dropped her packet, just in time to see the girl she ran into fall flat on her ass in front of her. Apparently, the girl had been carrying a bunch of papers because they were now strewn about the area.
"Oh my goodness! I am so sorry!" flew out of Quinn's mouth and she immediately offered a hand to the girl. "Are you alright? I am so, so, sorry!" The girl smiled reassuringly. "Hey, no worries, it happens." They both bent down to pick up the abandoned papers.
Once all the papers were gathered, Quinn took a moment to actually look at the girl she had just plowed over. She was short and stocky, with a round face and dark curly hair. She could have been a teen Shirley Temple. The girl thrust out her right hand, smiled and said, "I'm Gabby Connor."
Quinn took her hand and replied, "Quinn Fabray." They shook.
"Well, Quinn, you starting here next year?"
"Yes. Are you?"
"Yeah. Major?"
"Literature. Minor in Theatre, too, I think."
Gabby lit up. "Film. Minor in Literature. Our paths were certainly meant to cross!" They both laughed. Quinn liked this girl. Then Gabby gestured to Quinn's housing packet, "Looking for the housing office?"
"Yes, actually. Have you already signed up for housing?"
"Oh, no, I'm living off campus." Gabby held up her papers. "Roommate Wanted flyers actually." She paused before speaking again. "You know, this might seem strange, and probably too forward, but would you consider being my roommate?"
This girl was charming. Quinn was intrigued. She quirked an eyebrow. "That is strange, but why would you want me as your roommate—we are strangers."
Gabby laughed. "Well, whoever it is, they will be a stranger. So it comes down to how I meet the person. If it's through Craig's List, these flyers, or being knocked flat on my ass, being knocked flat on my ass seems as good a choice as any."
"I see," Quinn said with a smile.
"Besides, you seem clean and pleasant. That's good enough for me. Plus, you should know, I can cook, so you know my food is going to better than whatever they have in the dorms. And if that doesn't convince you, I can guarantee my rent cost will be cheaper than boarding." She smiled convincingly.
Quinn laughed and put on a mock-shy tone. "This is all so sudden! We haven't even shared a meal yet! You haven't even met my mother!"
"Then get your mother and let's go have lunch—my treat. How do you feel about pizza?"
"I love it."
And from that moment they were friends. It was weird, but they didn't question it. They wouldn't argue with success. Even though Gabby was from Kansas, she had spent a great deal of time in New York. Apparently her father was some sort of publisher. Gabby was the one who explained the subway system to Quinn and showed her the way to NYCDA. Quinn told her about Rachel and Gabby immediately wanted to meet her. They even went together the first time because Gabby was completely expecting to make friends with a singing phenomenon. But when they got there Quinn simply stood in front of the building with her phone out.
"Quinn?"
"Hmm?" she replied, staring forcefully at the building before her.
"Are you going to call her, or text her, or what?"
Quinn didn't know. She didn't even know why she wanted to come here.
After a moment or so she said-, "No. Not today. Let's go get Chinese."
Quinn didn't explain, and Gabby didn't ask. Quinn had told Gabby a lot about Rachel Berry. And it had very little to do with what she said, and a lot to do with how she said it—practically gushing over the little startlet. Gabby knew that Quinn had some sort of hang-up with Rachel Berry. It was a thing, and Gabby very much enjoyed things. So instead of being a douche and interrogating her roommate, Gabby simply walked with Quinn to their favorite Chinese place and reveled in a night off from cooking.
Of course, that was two months ago.