Hi! I'm Arutenshi, or Aru-chan. This is a very strange Fruits Basket story, and it is also one of my first fanfics, so no super-harsh reviews.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Fruits Basket series!
Shigure: Welcome to the all new game show, Furuba Panic! And here's your host, me! And over there operating the camera is Hatori!
Hatori: Why did he have to mention me...?
Shigure: Anyway, here are our contestants! First up, we have Kyou Sohma! Please excuse him if he does anything overly stupid...
Kyou: -twitch- I could say the same for you!
Shigure: Next, we have the wonderfully cute Tohru Honda!
Kyou: -double twitch- Okay, you know what? You! Me! Right here!
Shigure: Sigh...security!
Ayame runs in and hits Kyou in the head with a stick.
Kyou: OW! What the...!
Tohru: Oh my! Kyou are you okay? Kyou answer me! KYOU! OH MY GOD HE DIED!
Kyou: Um...no I didn't...
Shigure: Our third contestant is Yuki Sohma! ducks behind table
Yuki Fangirls: OMG YUKI!11!1!1!1!1!11111111! tackle Yuki WE LUV U!1!1
Shigure: ...is it safe? Okay! But does anyone else find it strange that Kyou hasn't been able to beat Yuki even though Kyou has more fighting experience?
Kyou: YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE!
Shigure: Now now, don't be silly! Our fourth and final contesant is Momiji Sohma!
Momiji: OMG HAHAHA CANDY N STUFF
Kyou: O...kay...
Shigure: Okay, let's get started. First question. What is the eighth planet from the sun?
Kyou: -pushes buzzer- Neptune!
Shigure: I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
Yuki: -pushes buzzer- Neptune.
Shigure: Yes, that's correct! Points for Yuki!
Kyou: WHAT IS YOUR FREAKIN' PROBLEM!
Shigure: Ahem On to question two...
Kyou: That's it...you...are...DEAD!
Shigure: Security!
Ayame hits Kyou on the head with a stick.
Kyou: DAMN YOU!
Shigure: Anyway, question two: who is the king of your life?
Kyou: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!
Tohru: -pushes buzzer- Um...my mom?
Shigure: No.
Yuki: -pushes buzzer- Me?
Shigure: Nope.
Momiji: -pushes buzzer- CAAAAANNNNNDYYYYY
Shigure: Incorrect.
Kyou: -pushes- buzzer Shut the f--- up?
Shigure: No, I'm afraid the answer was pie. You all suck.
Kyou: -explodes-
Tohru: OH MY GOD KYOU JUST EXPLODED! SOMEONE GET THE FIRST-AID KIT!
Yuki: Just forget it. Kyou is disqualified because he exploded.
Kyou Zombie: Oh no I'm not! I may have died and turned into a zombie instead of going to the afterlife because of my unstoppable determination to beat Yuki at this, but that doesn't disqualify me!
Shigure: Whatever Kyou, do what you want. Uh...question three! If it's raining on a Sunday afternoon in April and you're sitting in your kitchen eating a chocolate cake while football in on the TV in the living room and the volume is at level 6 and the remote is under the pillow on the couch 3 degrees away from the armrest of the couch, what is the exact cost of a loaf of bread from the grocery store 3 blocks down?
Tohru: -pushes buzzer- 5 cents?
Shigure: Wrong!
Momiji: -pushes buzzer- THREE GUMBALLS AND A BELUGA WHALE
Shigure: No...
Yuki: -pushes buzzer- No one cares?
Shigure: Incorrect.
Kyou Zombie: -pushes buzzer- You're an idiot?
Shigure: Wrong again! I'm afraid the answer was–
Hatori: Nothing, the Grocery store is closed on Sundays.
Shigure: ...
Everyone Else: ...
Shigure: ...The cameraman...DOES NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS! Ayame! Super attack maneuver 17!
Ayame: GYAAAAAH! glomps Yuki
Yuki: AAH! Dear Lord, HELP ME!
Shigure: No no no! Maneuver 17! Not 16!
Ayame: Oh, sorry. -attacks Hatori-
Hatori: Gah...! So...if you get rid of me, who will run the camera?
Shigure: Simple. That random guy in the audience.
Random Guy: R-really? Me? Oh, I never thought this day would come! It's my dream come true! I've always wanted to do this!
Shigure: Well, that's too bad, because we're out of time! And the winner is...me! See you next time! runs
Kyou Zombie: COME BACK HERE YOU! I'M GONNA EAT YOUR FLESH!
Tohru: The world is a big happy ball of cotton candy
Momiji: ZOMG NO WAI
Yuki: I'm surrounded by idiots...
Ayame: Let's spend quality time together, brother!
Yuki: Oh god, no...runs
Hatori: I'M the one who's surrounded by idiots...
The End :D Thank you for reading!