Okay so here is my newest story that I have been working on foreverrr. It's two parts and I didn't want to post the first part until I finished the second this way I can get it all done without stress. I'm fairly proud of how it turned out, but we'll see what you guys think.

Thank you to Dawn and Jessie for reading it, and also Jen, Kayla, and Marit. You are the best!

So anyway, this was supposed to be a one-shot but it ended up being way too long so I split it up into two parts. I posted both so I didn't have to worry about updating. This story is finished and I worked super hard on it so I really hope you like it.

It's a bit different than my other stories. It's completely in Nathan's POV, and it's OOC for him. He's not the normal cocky character, but rather, he's really shy and timid, but I think it's cute when boys are shy around girls they like. I don't want to give away too much, so you'll have to read to find out what happens! enjoy...! :)

Whoah.

My first thought when I saw her for the very first time.

Haley James.

The beautiful, adorable, smart, caring, honey blonde haired girl who sat in the first seat on the left in my Algebra class.

I will never forget the first time I saw her. I couldn't forget, even if I wanted to.

It was the first day of my senior year. I was new to the school- more specifically, new to Tree Hill.

It's a long story, but let's just say my mom has an alcohol and drug addiction, so she had to go to rehab. As far as my dad is concerned, I'm pretty sure he forgot he even had a son.

My parents got divorced when I was 14.

I haven't seen my father since.

Whatever.

I was never close with him in the first place. He was always on "business-trips"- which I guess soon became his excuse for going to bars and meeting women- all the while he was married to my mother.

Well, my mom soon found out about his little games, and she sure as hell wasn't happy. Well, what person would be happy to find out their spouse cheated on them? I know, one thing is for sure, I will never cheat on my wife. I will never be Dan Scott.

Anyway, when my mom found out, that's when she started drinking. Or maybe it started when my father actually did leave us to go on overseas business trips. Who knows.

Actually, I'm not even sure when the real business trips turned into 'screwing-women-who-weren't-my-mother'... for all I know, it could have been happening every time. Considering my jack-ass of a father, it probably was.

So, over the years my mother's drinking got worse. Then one day I came home from school to find her passed out in her bathroom will several pills scattered around her.

She said she became addicted to pills for Depression.

They say she tried to kill herself.

I felt like a horrible son. I should have been there for her more… I had no idea she was even thinking of suicide, or taking drugs for depression.

And so, she went to rehab, and I went to Tree Hill to live with my Aunt Karen and Uncle Keith.

I grew up in Charlotte, which is not too far from Tree Hill, but I haven't been here many times. My Uncle Keith is my Dad's brother- which thankfully, he is absolutely nothing like Dan Scott (My Uncle actually has a heart)...

Unfortunately, my father hates Uncle Keith which prevented me from ever actually becoming close with Uncle Keith, his wife, and their two kids- Lucas, and Lilly. But once I got to Tree Hill, I decided I wanted to change that. I want to become close to the only family I have left. Despite the fact Lucas is a year older than me, and is attending the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, we have become closer.

Life is going great for Lucas. He's got an amazing family, a full ride to his dream school- due to his basketball scholarship- and he could basically get any girl he wanted, without fail. In fact, he told me girls actually FIGHT over him.

Now don't get me wrong…

I'm happy for him, I really am.

It's just…

my whole life, I've always secretly envied him. He's got everything anyone could ever want.

It's not that I hate him or anything, because I don't- sometimes I wish he was my age so that he could help me get through my senior year at Tree Hill High, so I didn't have to feel so alone all the time…

Anyway, I don't envy Lucas for his scholarship, or the fact girls fight over him, or even that he could get any girl he wants- I only want one girl.

One girl, who he happened to be friends with.

The other night, I heard my Aunt Karen on the phone with Lucas and she said something about Haley. Instantly my ears perked up, just like my heart races just at the mere thought of her…

I couldn't hear what they were saying, so when she got off the phone, I tried to subtly ask her about it. I didn't want to make it obvious that I have the biggest, most pathetic crush on Haley, but I was genuinely curious about how Lucas and Haley knew each other. She just smiled and told me that they had been life long friends, but unfortunately grew apart once they started High School. I then asked her if they had ever dated, in which Karen laughed immediately. Thank god, the answer was no. Apparently, they were more like brother and sister, or something.

I probably would have died if they did date. But still, they were good friends, which is more than my relationship- or lack thereof- I have with Haley. I'd be lucky if she knew I even exist…

That's just one more thing Lucas has. He got to be friends with her, plus he has the perfect family.

Karen and Keith are the nicest, most caring people I have ever met.

And Lilly… she is my favorite person in the world.

She's always so happy, that just seeing her smile, brightens my day. I'm not afraid to admit I have her wrapped around my finger. I'll do whatever it takes to protect her. She's only four, but I never want to see her hurt. I love her as if she was my own sister.

I'm not mad about having to move to Tree Hill. Some days I'm actually happier here than I was in Charlotte. Not much has changed other than the environment, really. Back in Charlotte, I was still the shy, awkward loner, guy that I am now. It's not that I'm weird or anything, but I never had many friends to begin with. That's why leaving was easy. I didn't have to leave anyone important. I'm sure people will barely even notice I'm gone, considering they barely knew who I was when I was there.

I like it here.

Karen and Keith actually care about me. When I come home, Lily always runs to me, and there's always dinner on the table. I still enjoy my solitude though. In school, I'm usually always quiet and only answer questions when the teacher calls on me. I'm not dumb, but I'm not a genius either. I guess I'm just average. I'm not an outsider, but I'm not popular either. I'm just kind of just... There. Well, now in tree hill I'm mostly known as "the new kid" or "Lucas's cousin" but even then, no one tries talking to me unless needed. I usually just eat lunch in the library by myself. I'm not a complete loner, or loser, I just like my solitude. I hate having too much attention drawn on me. I usually embarrass myself by saying something stupid because I'm awkward and I've always just been better off keeping to myself.

So I was kind of excited to go to Tree Hill High. I thought maybe I'd meet friends and I'd be able to start fresh. Well, it turns out, it's a small town, and everyone already found their friends group- which means there was no room for me. I was fine with it. I'm not a complete loner though, I have met a few guys who are actually pretty nice to me. There's this one kid, Jake Jegelski, I met. He's kind of like me... he keeps to himself, but he's a nice guy. Jake's pretty private, but I don't mind. I'm not looking to become best friends with anyone anyway. I'll be going to college next year, and I don't need the attachments when people end up leaving in the end- but he's still good company. We usually just hang out at the Rivercourt, but mostly we just talk in school. He's only in three of my classes- including Algebra, so he was the one who told me all about Haley. Apparently he caught me staring. I don't think I was that obvious though…

Maybe I was.

I don't know.

It's hard not to stare at her.

I can't even describe her, because how do you describe perfect? I don't want to undervalue her looks. Everything she does is just so cute. I've never really had a crush on anyone before. Obviously I thought girls were pretty, but I've never actually been drawn to someone. I don't know what it was that drew me to Haley, but the minute she walked into the classroom on the first day, my eyes were just glued to her. I think it was her smile… or maybe her beautiful, warm brown eyes, that I first noticed about her. As cheesy and pathetic as it sounds, my heart actually skipped a few beats when I first saw her.

She was wearing a simple jean skirt, matched with a pale yellow v-neck shirt. It was simple, sexy, classy, and cute. The first words that came to mind when I laid my eyes upon the honey blonde haired girl.

I think she saw me staring, and I could swear I saw her smile widen. Perhaps, it was just a figment of my imagination- of which often wanders when I think of her. Like right now, I'm staring at her in class imagining her and I making out on top of the teachers desk. God that would be so freaking hot! She would be a sexy teacher...

Whoa, okay I'm in class. I need to calm down. Crap, I really hope this isn't obvious. I swear, I'm not a perv. It's normal for guys to fantasize about the cute girl who sits diagonal from them in class right? Oh shit! She just dropped her pencil and she's leaning down so now I can see her cleavage. I need to look away. Oh my god. I need to go to the bathroom. Shit, no I can't stand up. I hope no one saw me staring. I need a cold shower. Oh god.

See? This is what happens. Somehow all I think about is her. And now I can't even pay attention in class because I'm thinking about the first time I saw her. I think about it a lot. The first time I saw her was like a blind man seeing the sunset.

I was just sitting in my seat, the only student in the class. I remember I got there early because I was worried I'd get lost, and I wanted to introduce myself to my teacher. She told me where to sit, and I sat there quietly waiting for the other students, hoping maybe I'd blend in, and no one would notice the new kid.

Anyway, about a minute after I sat down, I was fiddling with my pen cap when in the corner of my eye I notice another person enter through the door.

I kept my head down for a few seconds until I saw the yellow shirt getting closer.

My curiosity got the best of me, and that's when my eyes landed on her. Her eyes scanned the classroom, as she donned a beautiful smile. Then her eyes met mine, and I think I forgot how to breathe. In the millisecond our eyes locked, I felt my cheeks flush as I immediately turned my eyes away from her friendly stare, and went back to pretending my pen was the most fascinating object in the world. Of course, once she sat down in the seat diagonal from mine, my eyes fell back on her, and I couldn't look away. I can't even explain the force that was pulling me towards her. God, I didn't even know her, and I was like under some freaking spell or something. I felt like a fool just blatantly checking her out. People were piling into the classroom, and here I was, on the first day of school, practically drooling over a girl I didn't even know. Smart move, idiot.

I was lucky she couldn't tell I was looking at her, but I had the best seat in the house. Second row, second seat back. Haley's seat was first row, first seat. She would never know I was gawking at her... unless she turned around, but why would she ever turn around to look at an idiot like me?

So anyway, basically I stuck out like a sore thumb. It's a small down, obviously these people would know when someone didn't belong. I finally tore my eyes away from the insanely beautiful girl, and realized that almost everybody was staring at me. Great, so not only am I new, but I'm the weird kid who likes to gawk at girls.

The seat in front of me was empty. No shock there.

The seat to my left was empty too.

Now there were barely any seats left, so one kid who walked in late, literally looked at me like I had twelve heads, before realizing he just HAD to sit in front of me. Jeez, it's not like I had the plague or something.

I turned to my right- the person who sat behind Haley, and glanced over at the brown haired guy that occupied the seat. He seemed pretty chill, so no worries there.

But to make it worse, my teacher introduced me to the class and said that I was new, so everyone should give me a "warm welcome" and show me around, or answer my questions, yada yada yada.

I tried desperately not to roll my eyes. Her intentions were kind, but I was just not in the mood for that crap.

Then I felt Haley's eyes on me, and I gulped nervously. The room must have increased in temperature by another ten degrees.

My cobalt blue eyes danced into her friendly gaze, as she looked over her shoulder and smiled. I'm pretty sure, she, and the kid behind her, were the only two people who smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

I had to tear my eyes away from her, when I felt someone tap my shoulder, so I turned around. It was some blonde girl asking me if I was related to Lucas Scott.

The first of the thousand times I would be asked that. I simply nodded, and turned back around. I didn't feel like playing match maker. I much rather prefered staring at Haley with no interruptions.

The students weren't mean to me, they just didn't want to bother with me- which was perfectly fine. I just prayed that maybe, just maybe, the girl in the yellow shirt would want to get to know me.

But why would she want that? I'm nothing special. I learned that a long time ago.

So for the remainder of the period, I just watched her- hoping no one was paying attention to me. Despite the difficulty, sometimes I forced myself to look away. I didn't want to seem creepy. So once in a while, I would steal long, admirable glances, just thinking maybe I could learn something about her. She raised her hand, three times that day. She was smart, and she was a goodie-goodie, but not in that obnoxious, teacher's pet, kind of way. I learned that she often bit on the end of her pen, when she was reading something. She even crinkles her eyebrows when she's deep in thought.

Wow, I sound like a stalker. If she could read my mind, she'd probably think I was crazy.

But maybe I am crazy. I mean, it is crazy that I just felt something so strong for someone whom I've never even spoken to.

I guess maybe now I believe in love at first sight.

I never even believed in love.

I don't even think I know what love is.

All I knew was, that I needed to get to know her. I wanted to see her smile. I wanted to know everything about her… and yeah, I'm not helping with this stalker thing, am I?

I swear, I'm really not. I just… I've never been so wrapped up in someone before. These feelings are so new, and I want to explore them.

Then something amazing happened, that day.

She said something to me.

The bell rang, and I was gathering my books when I heard a soft, angelic voice, making me blink several times, because I could have sworn it was a hallucination.

I'll never forget what she said.

She said, "Welcome to Tree Hill."

It was stupid, I know.

But it changed my life.

Yeah, we've already established that I'm pathetic.

And you want to know what I said in reply?

I said nothing.

Why?
Because I'm an idiot.

I'm dumb.

Ugh! I could punch myself. I blew my chance.

Just kidding, I probably never even had a chance to begin with, but still. Haley James said something to me, and I said NOTHING. Well I didn't actually say "nothing", but I didn't respond. I merely blinked at her. Like a loser.

I didn't even smile.

I don't even think I realized she was talking to me. I saw her lips moving, but I couldn't hear anything. She probably thought I was an idiot. Well I am an idiot, and the fact I never said anything to her, proved that point.

My mouth opened, but the air must have gotten sucked out of my lungs, and my mind pretty much shut off. Either that, or every word of the English language temporarily erased from my pea-sized brain.

I just watched her smile, and my moment of bliss ended when her stupid blonde haired friend came up to her and dragged her out of the classroom. I just prayed that we would have another class together.

I remember just sitting there as the rest of the class walked out, and I think I was in complete and utter shock. Why would she talk to me? She actually said something to me.

It's obvious, I don't talk to girls much.

I never really had the desire to. I would usually just fumble over my words, or say something stupid, and then they'd never talk to me again, so that's why maybe it's good I kept my mouth shut in front of Haley, because if my mind actually worked, I probably would have said something along the lines of "Holy Shit, you're beautiful" and that would freak her out.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard someone chuckling beside me. It was the kid who sat behind Haley, and next to me.

"You're going to have to say something to her if you actually want a shot with her." He advised me.

I grew confused. "Wh-what?" I stuttered.

"Haley. You like her, don't you?" He asked with a friendly smile.

"Haley?" I repeated as if I was a parrot. Wow, this must be why I have no friends.

He laughed again. "The girl you were staring at the whole period. Her name's Haley James."

I felt my cheeks redden. "I-" Oh shit. I totally thought he was her boyfriend or something.

"Hey, no worries. She's cute, but I don't like her like that. A lot of other guys do though, so get in line." He said with a warm smile.

I laughed nervously. "How did you know-?"

"Dude, you were practically drooling."

My eyes widened. My biggest fear was confirmed.

"But don't worry, I don't think anyone else noticed." He reassured me.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

He nodded in response. "Yeah, I only noticed because I had the same look on my face when I first saw my girlfriend."

I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm Jake Jagelski." He introduced himself.

"Nathan Scott."

He grinned softly, "What brings you to Tree Hill, Scott?"

"Uh…" How should I answer that? My Dad's an ass who cheated on my mom, who then tried to kill herself? Nah, that's too overwhelming.

"Just family stuff." I replied casually.

"You're related to Lucas Scott, huh?" He asked.

I chuckled sardonically. "Yeah, that's me. Lucas's cousin."

Jake frowned, "Hey, no hard feelings, man. I hardly knew him. He was captain of Varsity basketball last year. We never talked outside of basketball, but he practically ruled the school. He was cool."

"You play?" I asked, referring to basketball.

He nodded as we walked out of the class together. He took my schedule out of my hands, and pointed to a staircase. He seemed like a nice guy, so I trusted him.

"That way to the science wing." He told me, and I started to walk in that direction.

"Thanks man."

"No problem. See you around, Nathan." He smiled at me, and I smiled in return. I wanted to ask him more about Haley, but I didn't want to ruin a potential friendship.

As time went on, we talked more and more. He's the first real friend I've had in a while. We're not best friends, but it's nice to have someone to talk to who's my age. He told me a lot about Haley considering I was too scared to actually try and talk to her myself. He told me she's one of seven. She's the youngest. I also found out she's most likely going to be Valedictorian. Apparently she's also a tutor, a singer, and captain of the debate team, as well as School President. Damn, is there anything that girl can't do? Add to the list of why Haley James is absolutely perfect. Pretty much everyone likes her- but then again, what's not to like? As the days passed, I continued to stare at her in class. Every single day, I looked forward to going to Algebra just to see her smiling face. I swear, the room would light up whenever she walked into it. Everyday the same thing would happen. I was usually the first one there. Haley was second. She would look at me, and we share a smile. I tell myself to say hi, but I never actually do. Jake would look at me, and I'd ignore his stare, knowing he would want me to talk to her. He's the only one who knows about my crush. If anyone else knew, I would be extremely embarrassed. Especially, if Haley found out- she'd definitely think I was a creep. To this day, he still rags about me for crushing out on Haley. He's pretty cool about it though. I try to downplay it as much as possible so I don't seem like a complete pansy, but sometimes I can't help it.

I've been in Tree Hill for about three months now.

Almost three months months of admiring Haley from afar, and still not building enough courage to talk to her. Until today.

I have decided I am going to talk to her.

"Mr. Scott?"

Uh oh.

I look away from Haley, and back at my teacher.

"Yes?" I answered meekly.

"Can you tell me the answer to number six, please?" She asked impatiently.

Crap.

I was not paying attention, and I have no idea.

"Umm.." I mutter, and quickly look down at my paper in which I scribbled a "HJ" in a heart.

Okay, I think I'm turning into a girl.

Back to the problem.

Number six…

Uhhh…

Quick, just make up a number.

"I don't know." I mumbled awkwardly.

She glared at me, and I gulped nervously. I could feel Haley's gaze on my body.

"Next time, you may want to look at the board instead of Miss. James." Mrs. Welldon said sternly as my cheeks burned with mortification. She did not just say that… to the class…. did she?

I heard faint laughs in the back of the class.

Well, I guess that answered my question.

I want to crawl up in a ball and die.

I refused to look up from my paper. I swear my eyes could burn a hole in the worksheet. Haley was still looking at me.

My stupid will power weakened, and my eyes slowly gazed upwards. She was smiling.

What?

Why was she smiling?

I felt a large lump the size of a baseball reside in the back of my throat. I swallowed nervously, and gave her a quick half smile in return.

So maybe I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but she looked at me. That's a start right?

Even better, the next day, I finally talked to her.

I inhaled sharply as I watched her walk into the classroom.

"Morning Mrs. Welldon." She said politely, and greeted her with a lovely smile as she took her respected seat and fished around her pocketbook.

Perfect, right on schedule.

I took another deep breath.

Okay, Scott. You can do this.

I cleared my throat softly, and wiped my sweaty palms on my jean clad thighs.

"Hey um, do you- uh … have a pen? That I can borrow… maybe?" I finally asked as I tripped over my words. I squeezed my eyes shut. Way to go idiot.

At least I said words…

Haley turned around to face me, and smiled. Well, she must want me to die because if she keeps smiling, I will have a heart attack.

"So you can talk?" She asked with a faint giggle.

Oh no. I was not prepared for this.

I thought she would just hand me a pen.

I didn't think she'd actually talk to me.

Holy crap she is talking to me.

Don't screw up.

Say something, idiot.

Anything.

I gulp again, "Uhh.."

"Sorry. That was a stupid joke." She shook her head and laughed at herself.

Okay, so she just got even more adorable.

I laughed anyway. Laughing was good.

"Here you go. You can keep it. I have a million anyway." She smiled as she graciously handed me the black pen. I smiled and accepted the writing utensil as if I had just been awarded a million dollars.

"Th-thanks." I stutter, and she smiles again. I almost stop breathing, so I have to take a sip of my water. It's going to be a long day.

A long week passed and I still couldn't believe Haley had given me her pen. I know, it's lame, but it's a big step for a guy like me. I was trying to think of another way to talk to her, when suddenly I felt two little arms attatch onto my leg. I looked down and laughed.

"Hey Lily!" I greeted my small cousin as I walked into Karens Cafe in preparation to start my shift for the day.

"Nathan!" She giggled adorably as she reached her arms up, which was her symbol for wanting to be picked up.

I happily obliged and spun her around. "How's my favorite girl?" I asked with a cheeky grin.

"I'm your only girl!" She laughed.

"You got that right Lilly. We need to get Nathan a girlfriend." I heard my uncle Keith say from behind me.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "I'm working on it."

"Oh yeah? Who's the lucky gal?" He asked as he pat his hand on my back.

My cheeks blushed with heat. "Uh um... I don't think you know her." I lied.

"Well bring her over here one day!" He advised. "But right now, get to work. Chop, Chop!" He joked as he playfully swat a towel at my back, causing Lily to scream in excitement. I chuckled softly and placed her back on the ground.

"I'll see ya later squirt." I called out as I walked behind the counter and tied an apron around my waist, getting ready to start my shift. It's usually pretty quiet on Thursday afternoons so I often watched people walk past the cafe and daydream about Haley. I was in the middle of sweeping behind the counter, whistling softly as I heard the bell above the door ring, signaling we had a customer. There was only one older couple sitting in the corner, so I was surprised when I noticed another customer.

Oh but no... It wasn't just any customer.

It was Haley James.

In the cafe.

Where I work.

I glanced down at my attire and tried to suppress a groan. Of course she walks In when I look like a homeless person.

"Hey." She greeted me as she stood in front of the counter. "I know you! You're in my math class. Right?"

"Um yeah...hi." I choked out, barely able to look into her deep brown eyes. "Welcome to Karens cafe. How can I help you?" I asked in a voice that barely resembled mine.

"Can I get a small coffe, no sugar, extra milk?" She asked with another dazzling smile.

"Uh um... Sure. Yeah." I stuttered spastically.

"Great. Thanks!" She waited patiently as I turned around and took a deep breath. I needed to keep calm and not act like a total dweeb.

After regaining composure, I prepared her coffee, and threw a scone into a paper brown bag. I gulped nervously and handed her the coffe and treat bag in exchange for the two dollars she handed me.

"What's this?" She asked with a small smile as she looked into the brown paper bag curiously.

"A scone." I replied casually.

Okay dude. Keep your cool.

"I didn't-" she started but I cut her off.

"Don't worry... it's on me." I said with a small smile.

She looked at me and at first I thought she would spit on me or something, but instead, her smile widened.

"Thank you, Nathan."

What the hell?

She knows my name?

She knows my name!

I almost started to dance, but then I would ruin the moment.

Not only does she know I'm in her math class, but she knows my name! She knows I exist.

My life just got a lot better.

"You're welcome. Have a good day." I said as my voice cracked at the end.

What's happening?

I'm actually having a conversation with Haley James.

"Thanks. See you around."

"Yeah. See ya!" I repeated and watched as she exited the cafe.

I was still in a trance.

I couldn't see anyone or anything around me. My mind kept mulling over the fact Haley James knew me and just walked into the cafe. She's like a celebrity to me. The problem is that I don't just want her autograpgh, I want more. I want her.

"Nathan?" Keith called out, and considering I was still in my trance as I stared out at the street in which Haley disappeared into, I didn hear him.

I heard a faint chuckle and felt something swat me in the back, so I finally fell back into reality and turned around.

"What?" I asked as I saw Keith carrying Lily behind me.

"I called your name three times. Are you okay?" Keith asked me with a small chuckle yet concerned look in his eyes.

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine."

Just completely and utterly infatuated with a girl who is way out of my league.

"Did we have a customer?"

I felt my cheeks twinge a slight shade of pink. "Yeah. She wanted coffee." I mumbled.

"She? Is she the reason why you're blushing?" Keith smirked.

My cheeks flamed with hear and I brought my palm up to my face feeling the warm temperature. "Uh- um... No. I-"

"Who was it?" He pressed as he smiled at my apparent love struck smile.

"Just some girl in my math class." I mumbled quietly.

"Ohhh! Nathan's got a crush, Daddy!" Lilly screamed girlishly.

"It's nothing." I answered timidly.

"Doesn't seem like nothing! You seemed like you were under a spell when she left." Keith pointed out with a knowing grin.

"It's not a big deal. She's cute." I shrugged as I fought off a smile.

"Huh..." Keith mused loudly. "You should go for it."

My eyes widened, "Oh no- I can't.."

"Why not?" Keith questioned. "You're a Scott, you know."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Well yeah but-"

"No 'but's'. I'm telling you to go for it." He encouraged with a large grin. Lily decided to jump on the bag wagon too- "Yeah, Nathan!"

I walked over to her and ruffled her pig tailed hair. "Maybe I will, squirt."

Maybe, just maybe, that was the confidence I would need to take a chance with Haley. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? I ask her out and make a complete idiot out of myself, then she says no and throws coffee at me?... Okay, maybe I'll just stick to watching her from the sidelines and pray for a miracle.

My miracle came true. Kind of. Sorta, maybe.

Everyday for the past week, Haley has come into the cafe and ordered her usual no sugar, extra milk, coffee. And everyday I would have it ready for her at exactly 4 o'clock- including a free scone. Maybe now she knows me as the nice guy in the cafe who gives her free scones instead of the creepy kid who stares at her in math class.

"Oh hey Nate. You're early. Your shift doesn't start until 4:30." My aunt Karen greeted me as I walked through the cafe door and approached the counter.

"Oh, yeah, well I was bored so I figured I could come early. It's Friday so I know you're busy." I explained and I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck. I didn't lie... I just excluded one small detail. I wanted to see Haley. I know it's stupid, and we basically have the same trivial conversation everyday- she says hi, I ask how she is, she says good, then asks me about mine, I say the usual, she smiles, I almost faint, hand her the coffee and scone, she thanks me and tells me to enjoy the rest of my day, leaves, and I stand there like an idiot wishing the conversation never ended.

Yeah, I know. Pathetic.

Everyday I say I'm going to actually have a conversation with her, but everyday I get really nervous and just stick to the basics.

"Okay well, thanks! You wanna start cleaning the kitchen?" She asked.

"Uh umm I was hoping I could start with tending the cash register." I asked in a hopeful voice, in which she fortunately granted.

"Okay sure! Of course! Thanks so much. I have to go check on Lily but I'll be right back."

I simply nodded with an appreciative smile. "Okay." I replied and glanced at the clock. 3:59. Haley should be here any second.

It was 4:03 when she walked through the door. My head shot up, and an instant smile spread over my face. I swear the room lit up the second she walked in.

"Hey Nathan!" She greeted me as she practically floated to the counter.

I got a little better at controlling my nerves. "Hi Haley."

"What's up?"

I gulped nervously. Maybe I wasn't so good at this.

God, she looked absolutely beautiful.

"Not much." I shrugged, "How 'bout you?"

"Just on my way to tutor someone." She replied casually, as I handed her the small coffee.

"You tutor?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer… This was my chance to have a real conversation with her.

She smiled, "Yep. If you ever have questions about math or something, I'd be more than happy to help, even though you're pretty smart."

I almost choked on air. She was offering help! I might just have to fail my next math test.

"Thanks." I chuckled softly, "But I'm not that smart. I'm definitely going to do bad on the quiz on Monday."

"I'm sure you'll do great. Just remember, believing you'll do well is half the battle." She advised me with one of her perfect smiles.

I gripped onto the counter to prevent my knees from snapping in half. "Hmm, okay. I'll remember that." I grinned boyishly, and for a second it looked like her cheeks turned pink, but it was probably just because of the lighting, or my imagination.

"Well I better get going. Thanks for the coffee and scone." Haley said never stop smiling.

I nodded as she handed me a five dollar bill, and was about to give her back the change, when she shook her head. "Keep the change!" She called out, and waved as she made her way out of the cafe.

Once again I stood there like a statue reveling in the moment that just took place.

Come Tuesday morning, I sat patiently in my seat as I waited for the bell to ring. Haley was usually the second person in class, but the class was almost full and she hadn't shown up yet. My teacher was busy handing out the quizzes as I fiddled with my pen cap, when the bell rang and Haley came running in a second later.

"You're late, Miss. James." Mrs. Welldon stated coldly.

"Sorry." Haley replied weakly as she fell into her seat, and sent me a quick smile. "Good luck!" She mouthed.

I smiled in return, and silently repeated what she said to me.

Believing you'll do well is half the battle.

That was all the confidence I needed.

I got a 100 on that test.

Haley hadn't come to the cafe in a few days. I was disappointed the first time she didn't come, but I knew she was busy. It's not like she came to see me anyway… I would never let my hopes get that high.

She was just a kind person. She would never go for a guy like me. She deserves the best.

Anyway, I was really enjoying her visits, and I'm pretty sad they ended, but like I said… I can't let my hopes get too high. Maybe it's good she doesn't come. The only thing it does is make me nervous, and give me false hope that I actually have a chance with her.

Hah!

What a joke.

Now the only thing I looked forward to was seeing her in math, but we hardly got to talk. Some days she would smile, some days she says hi, and one day she even asked me how I was.

That's why I liked her visits to the cafe. It was more personal, I guess.

A small part of me hoped she only came to see me. I know I would go see her where she worked. Actually, no, I'm not a stalker, I promise.

I just really, really, really like her. A lot. And I really wanted to get to know her.

If only I had a pair, and actually asked her out.

Like that could ever happen…

Even if I did, she'd say no anyway, so it's not worth it.

"Nathan!" Lily shouted, peeling my from my deep thoughts as she ran over to me behind the counter at Karen's cafe.

"Hey squirt. What's up?" I asked as I leaned down, and wrapped my arms around her small frame, to lift her up and place her on top of the countertop.

"Nuthin'. But guess what?" She asked giddily.

"What?" I replied with a bemused smirk.

"I won my drawing contest at pre-school!" She exclaimed with an excited voice.

I laughed and held my hand out for a high-five. "That's awesome Lily! I am so proud of you, kiddo."

I was so busy talking to Lily, that I never even noticed the honey blonde beauty walk into the cafe until Lily turned in Haley's direction.

"Oh, hey, uh, sorry to interrupt. I was just hoping I could buy a coffee." She said as she timidly tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her ear.

I smiled, "Sure, of course. Sorry, I wasn't expecting you today." I said before I could stop myself.

Sometimes my mouth has a mind of its own.

She smiled shyly, "Yeah, I haven't really had time to stop by."

"That's okay." I answered mirroring her smile.

"Who's that?" Lily whispered loudly, causing me and Haley to laugh softly.

"Oh uh, Haley this is my little cousin Lily, and uh Lil's, this is Haley James." I explained nervously.

"You're pretty!" Lily blurted.

Haley blushed softly and smiled down at Lily. "Thank you. So are you. I love your bows!" She said referring to the pink bows in Lily's hair.

Instantly, a giant smile lit up Lily's face. "Thanks! My mommy did it for me."

"Lily Rose Scott! You better not be sitting on top of the counter!" I heard my aunt scold as she emerged from behind the kitchen.

"Sorry. My fault." I mumbled shyly as I picked up Lily off of the counter and swung her over my hip as she hugged me tightly.

"It's oka-" Karen started, but stopped mid sentence as she looked over at Haley. "Haley James?"

"Karen! Oh my gosh! I haven't seen you in forever!" Haley shrieked excitedly as she ran over to Karen and enveloped her in a hug.

Wow, I really wish I was karen right now.

My aunt pulled away from the hug and smiled. "My gosh! You are beautiful."

Haley's cheeks flushed, "Oh, thank you!"

You got that right.

"So I see you've met my daughter, and nephew-"

Haley's eyes widened, "Wait, that's your Lily? Oh my gosh, the last time I saw her, she was so little!"

Karen chuckled, "I know, she got so big. I guess it goes to show how long you and Lucas have gone without seeing each other."

Haley smiled, "Yeah! I miss him! How is he anyway?" She asked, and I don't know why but I felt a pang of jealousy flush through my veins.

"He's good. You guys should definitely meet up when he comes home. I'm sure he'd love to see you." Laren suggested.

"Yeah that would be great. How's Brooke? Are they still together?" Haley inquired.

"Yep, still going strong. He really loves her." Karen gushed.

Haley smiled proudly, "That's so great! I remember he always had a crush on her, so I'm happy they are together."

Karen nodded in agreement, "So what about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

Haley blushed as she fiddled with her pinky ring.

My stomach twirled with anticipation as I nervously awaited her answer, and my ears perked up.

"Um not really." She giggled nervously, and I let out a small sigh.

Wait, what does 'Not really' even mean?!

"Well, my nephew Nathan is single." She smirked.

"Aunt Karen!" I intervened exasperated.

This is the most awkward moment of my life.

I can't believe she did that.

I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Please.

My mouth literally fell to the floor as I stood there in which I'm sure my face was a firetruck red.

"I'm just saying Nate. Haley's a pretty young girl, you're attractive and single. When was the last time you had a girlfriend?"

My eye's doubled in size and I swear I wish I was anyone but me in that moment.

"Aunt Karen-"

"Nathan why are your cheeks all red?" Lily asked.

I love her, but I really wish she didn't state the obvious.

I looked over at Haley who was smiling in her most adorable way, which only made things worse.

"Wait so you and Lucas are cousins?" Haley asked, changing the subject in which I will forever be grateful for.

"Yeah." I answered shyly.

"Wow! I'm so stupid. I had no idea…" She said laughing at herself.

"You're not stupid." I blurted out. Once again my mouth spoke before my brain could think.

Idiot.

Haley smiled shyly, "Thanks."

"I'm his cousin too." shouted a delighted Lily, causing us to laugh.

"Yeah, Nathan will be staying with us until he goes off to college." Karen further explained.

I could tell Haley was a bit confused, so I decided to do something I never did: share my story.

"Uh yeah, it's kind of a long story. I don't really talk to my parents anymore."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Haley said genuinely sounding upset. "I didn't know…"

"It's okay. I like it here better." I said as a small smile stretched over my face. I'm pretty sure she smiled too.

I was hoping that maybe she'd shared information about herself, too. Something I hadn't already known, so we could connect, but unfortunately that didn't get to happen. That was my one and only chance to make a move, and I completely blew it. Sometimes, I really hate myself.

Haley's mouth curved upwards into a friendly smile. "Well I should probably get going. It was nice seeing you again Karen. Hopefully I'll see you soon. You too Lily." She waved at the small girl in my arms, and her eyes diverted back to mine. "I'll see you in school Nathan. Thanks for the coffee." She smirked specifically at me and I gulped down my nerves.

"Bye Haley!" Lily screamed happily as she waved back at Haley.

Haley crinkled her nose in the most adorable way, and once again turned to walk out. Once she was gone, Karen turned to me and gave me a sly grin.

"What?" I asked blankly.

"You two…"

"Oh no, no." I rushed out.

"Why not?" She gasped as she placed her hands on her hips. "You would be perfect together."

I chuckled sardonically. "No, I- she- no." I stuttered.

"Nathan, I saw the way you looked at her. It's as if she was the only girl in here." Karen pointed out.

I felt my cheeks flush, "She's beautiful." I muttered lowly.

A satisfactory smile spread over her face. "I know, and that's why you should go for her."

"Aunt Karen, I can't-"

"Why not?" She pressed. "You like her right?"

I softly bit my lip and nodded after I once again swallowed back a hard lump in my throat.

"So then go for it. I think you'd be great together." She encouraged.

I couldn't not smile at that.

"I like her… a lot. It's just- I don't think she likes me." I said sadly.

My Aunt Karen stepped closer to me and grabbed my arm softly. "Nathan, you know you don't have much time left before you graduate. It's February already, Before you know it, you'll be graduating, and you don't want to look back on your life and have regrets, so I suggest you take a chance while you still have it. Don't doubt yourself. Haley's a great girl, and you're just as great. I could tell you like her a lot-"

"You can?" My eyes widened. Uh oh. I didn't want it to be obvious.

Karen laughed softly, "Don't worry, it's just one of my instincts. I don't think she knows, but you should tell her. You never know until you try…" She grinned, and I felt a sudden urge of courage pour through my veins, as I nodded eagerly.

"Yeah… Thanks Aunt Karen." I smiled appreciatively as Lily squiggled in my embrace.

"Yeah! You should date Haley.. I like her." She smiled up at me and I laughed simply.

If only it were as easy as she thought…

I walked home that night after work. Deep in thought. My Aunt was right. I was graduating soon, and if I don't take the chance, I may never get it again. I don't want Haley to be the one that got away, and even worse, I don't want to look back one day and regret never taking the chance. I was tired of living life on the sidelines. I had spent six months secretly admiring her… so I finally decided that it was time to step up, arise from the shadows, and start living.

I was going to admit my feelings to Haley.

Today was the day.

After much thought and careful consideration, I decided I was going to ask Haley out on Valentine's day. I woke up with a nervous pit in the bottom of my stomach, but the hopeful grin could not be erased.

I made sure to dress my best. Normally, I'm a t-shirt, sneakers, and jeans kinda guy, but today I wore a blue collared shirt, with my new jeans, and basically doused myself with new AXE cologne.

"You smell good." Lily stated as I walked into the kitchen that afternoon. I didn't ask Haley out during school, just in case she rejected me I wouldn't want it to be publicly.

So instead, I came up with the idea that when she walked into the cafe I'd hand her a rose, and write on her coffee cup, "will you be my valentine?'. I don't know much about dating, considering my lack of experience but I know girls are suckers for cute romantic stuff. I couldn't wait. All day I was extremely nervous and when she walked into class I couldn't help but smile. Unfortunately, she didn't see me because she was too busy talking with her group of friends, but I didn't care because later in the period we had to pair up in order to go over test corrections. Jake wasn't there today because he was sick, and so I worked up the nerve to ask Haley if she would be my partner and she said yes. We didn't get to talk too much, but she ended up helping me with one of the problems, and I was so focused on staring at her that I didn't even pay attention to how to actually do the question. Ooops.

"Nathan? Do you get it now?" She asked, forcing me to snap out of my daze.

"Uh, yeah I uh think so. Thanks." I stuttered nervously.

"No problem." She smiled, but to my dismay, turned around to finish her worksheet, leaving me unable to finish my class work because I couldn't wait to finally ask her out.

Now, I finally made it home from school, and was ready to start my shift at the Cafe. As luck would have it, it was a Wednesday, which was the only day Haley ever made it to the Cafe. I preferred when she came everyday, but hey, one day a week is better than nothing. There was a time during the Holiday season when I would be lucky if I got to see her in the Cafe. Now, she would always come on Wednesday's, and sometimes stay a bit longer to play with Lily or chat with Karen. Sometimes she'd even strike up a conversation with me, but it was never much. Usually just about school or the latest gossip. We have yet to discuss personal topics. I hoped that would change real soon.

I planned this for almost two weeks. After my Aunt's words had sunk in, I thought deeply about how and when I'd ask her out. I even practiced what I would say at least a dozen times last night.

I was nervous, but I couldn't wait any longer. I rushed home and fixed up my hair, sprayed more cologne, and was about to walk to the cafe before Lily stopped me.

"Happy Valentine's day Nathan! I love you." She smiled and shoved a hand made card into my hands, as I looked down and felt my heart turn to mush.

"Aww thanks Lils. I love you too, munchkin'." I gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek as she giggled and hugged me tightly. "I gotta go to work but I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay!" She waved goodbye, and I practically sprinted to the cafe. I didn't want to miss her. Luckily, there was a flower shop right across the street from the Cafe, and so before I started my shift I purchased a single red rose to later give to Haley.

The cafe was empty when I got there, thank god. It was almost four and I knew Haley would be here any minute, so just incase she threw the coffee in my face and say I was a freak or something- it wouldn't be in front of people which would lessen the humiliation.

Think positive.

I couldn't fear the rejection.

I wouldn't let my mind go there.

I was too excited to think about rejection.

As I was preparing the cash register, I heard the bell over the door ring, and nervously wiped my hands against my jeans in anticipation.

My head bobbed up, but I sighed in disappointment when it wasn't her. After taking a deep breath to steady my heart rate, I fixed the elderly man a BLT sandwich, and homemade lemonade. He was a regular, too.

"Where's that pretty blonde girl of yours today, son? Don't you know it's Valentine's day?" He asked in his throaty voice.

I smiled politely, "Yes sir, but um, she's not- I mean we aren't…"

"Huh. Well she sure is pretty. I see the way you look at her, boy. You're a complete fool if you don't go after her." He advised me with a quick smirk.

"I know, sir." I nodded at him, but inwardly started to freak out. Great, so now random old men could tell I had a thing for her. Is there anyone who doesn't know about my crush on her? Is it really that obvious?

"Well, good luck." He winked at me as he grabbed his food, taking a seat over by the window and silently read the paper. It looked like we had the same thing in common- alone on Valentine's day.

I whistled a low tune to myself as I glanced over at the clock. It was almost four fifteen and she still wasn't here. Great. I knew it was too good to be true.

Maybe things happen for a reason, and she wasn't going to come today, and my plan would be ruined, and I'd be alone for the rest of my life, and-

I was just about to throw away the rose, when the door chimed, signaling a new customer, and my eyes widened when I saw her.

I didn't think could get more beautiful, but she just proved me wrong. I swear it was like a scene from a movie. She looked so damn good when she walked through that door. She had on a knee length black skirt, and a classy red top that dipped lowly in the front, emphasizing her perfect amount of cleavage but not in a trashy way. My jaw cracked and almost dropped to the floor. I'm surprised drool didn't start flowing out of my wide open mouth.

Every ounce of confidence I had completely flew out the window, and once again I reverted back to my infant state of mind as the English language was erased from my brain.

"Hi." She smiled up at me as her brown eyes bore into my blue ones.

"Hey." I choked out nervously as I prayed for her not to hear the thundering thumps of my irregular heartbeat.

"Happy Valentine's Day." Haley stated sweetly, further dehydrating the Sahara desert that resided in my mouth. "You doing anything special today?"

Here was my chance.

"Um… well.." I stuttered awkwardly.

Do not screw this up, idiot.

Be confident.

I cleared my throat softly and went to grab her usual coffee and a marker to write 'Be my Valentine', but before I could do so, she quickly spoke up, stopping me in my place.

"Actually, I won't be getting a coffee today." She said biting softly on her lower lip that was painted a faint pink color.

"Oh uh well it's on the house-" I started.

"Thanks but someone's actually joining me today-." She smiled dazzlingly, and for a second I let my hopes get the best of me and thought she wanted to drink coffee with me…

As if.

My eyes widened, "Oh um okay. You sure you don't want coffee?"

"No thanks."

Crap, crap, crap.

"Can I get you anything else?" I ask in a shaky voice, hoping she can't tell I'm really to shit myself with nerves.

God, I'm a pansy.

"I think I'll just wait for my date."

WHAT?

Did she just say date?

Please tell me, she didn't just say that.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. This can not be happening.

My life officially sucks.

I blinked twice just to make sure I wasn't in some kind of nightmare. I considered her rejecting me, but I did not even factor in the part that she might already have a freakin' stupid Valentine.

I tried my hardest to cover up my pained expression, but I'm pretty sure she noticed it, considering her frown.

My eyes diverted over to the elderly man who was giving me a thumbs up, probably assuming I was about to ask her out. If only that was the case..

Once again, I cleared my throat and pretended that my heart was not severed by a samurai sword.

"Oh, okay, well you look great." I tried my best to give her a reassuring smile, but it was a failed attempt.

"Thanks." Her smile reached her eyes, and despite the pain I felt throbbing in my heart, I still got those butterflies. "So why are you working here on Valentine's Day?"

I let out a deep sigh and ran my fingers through my raven black hair, as I shrugged softly, "I don't have any plans."

"Really?" She asked, actually sounding surprised.

I laughed softly, "Yea."

"Well then who's that rose for?" She asked with a high eyebrow. I felt a wave of sadness flood through my heart.

"Lily." I lied as quickly as it came to my mind. I couldn't go through with my plan. She was going on a damn date for God's sake… I guess I ruined my chance. Just kidding. I can't believe I thought I even had a chance. I guess the joke's on me, huh?

"Aw! That's sweet. She's a lucky gal." She winked playfully at me, and I tried my best to smile, but I wasn't feeling exactly happy in that moment.

Before I could even reply, the bell chimed once again, and I noticed a tall lanky dude with spiky hair stroll in with a cocky smirk stretched over his stupid ass face.

"Chris! You made it." Haley cheered happily, as I watched her run over to the punk and embrace him in a tight hug.

"Of course I made it, babe. I wouldn't miss this for the world. Damn you look hot, Hales." He smirked as he ran his grimy hands over her perfect ass and pulled her flush against his body.

I never hated anyone more in my life than I did with this stupid prick. What does he have that I don't?

Haley apparently.

Ugh god. She deserved so much better than this stupid tool bag. Hell, I'm way better than him. He's like the lowest of the lows.

My stomach jaw clenched tightly, as I felt the bile burning up my esophagus, my stomach clenching and unclenching repeatedly.

I felt the white haired man's eyes on me, so I forced myself to look away from gut wrenching sight.

He gave me a pitiful smile, and I smiled sadly in response.

I can't believe this happened to me.

It's like life played some sick joke on me- only it's not funny… at all. Seriously, this feels like some stupid tv show plotline, only I don't think I get the girl in the end.

It's time to face the music- We just aren't meant to be together. I hate myself for actually believing I had a chance.

I was jealous. Angry. Upset. Hurt. Shocked.

I never saw this coming. I think I'd actually rather Haley say no and throw coffee at my face. That would probably hurt less.

I had no idea she had a boyfriend. But now I guess it makes sense.

A few weeks ago, my school had a talent show, and Haley sang one of her songs she had written. I can't even begin to explain how amazing she was. Actually, amazing is an understatement. It's indescribable how great she was. I couldn't take my eyes off of her the entire time. The second she belted out the first lyric I was captivated under her spell- as if I wasn't enough already…

She sounded like an angel- Hell, she looked like an angel.

She was magnificent. Beautiful. Stunning.

All I saw was her on stage as she strummed the sweet melody on her guitar and sang her heart out. I didn't even realize the tool next to her on stage. Apparently he was an 'up and coming' musician. Ugh. What a loser.

He played the guitar and sang backup, which, if you ask me, was unnecessary because Haley could do more than fine on her own.

I never linked the two together because I never saw them together besides that night. I guess they started working on music together and began dating. If only I knew this sooner…

I really wanted to punch him. I glanced over at the couple who were now sitting in a corner booth kissing. My stomach twisted into a tight knot, and I wanted to vomit all over Chris Keller's stupid face.

Unwillingly, I shuffled over to their table and fought the urge to hit Chris when he smirked up at me.

"Hey, do you mind?" He grinned as he pointed to Haley when I interrupted their kiss.

I bit hard on my tongue. I couldn't hit him. Not in front of Haley.

"Chris! Be nice!" Haley scolded him and looked over at me with a pleading smile. "Sorry."

"Wait, you know this kid?" Chris asked her. I wanted to roll my eyes.

"Yeah, he's in my math class." She explained softly.

I just wanted to get this order over with. I couldn't do this anymore.

"So what can I get for you tonight?" I muttered with a blank expression. No way was I going to be vulnerable and actually let my jealousy surface.

"Can I have a cherry choke and some Mac 'n' Cheese, please?" She asked me with a polite smile.

"Mac 'n' Cheese?" I asked with a soft chuckle. I never pictured her being the kind to like five year old foods.

"What? It's food of the Gods." She laughed, and for a second I actually chuckled until I realized Chris was glaring at me.

"That's pathetic Haley. Order something different." He snorted, and I was growing closer to edge of personally ripping his smug smirk off of his face.

"One mac 'n' Cheese comin' up." I stated, pretending not to hear that idiot. "What can I get for you?" I asked faking sincerity.

"You got any steak?" He asked. Once again I was tempted to roll my eyes.

"No. Sorry." If I had balls, I would have replied with a witty response like, why don't you go next door to Miller Steak House. But I wasn't that type of person.

"Haley, you said this place was good." Chris groaned.

"It is!" She smiled and gently grabbed a menu. "Why don't you order a double cheeseburger? That's delicious!"

Chris rolled his eyes, "Okay, whatever. I'll have that and a Pepsi." He snapped at me, and I simply exhaled deeply, nodding. I couldn't bring myself to speak, afraid of what might actually come out of my mouth.

So instead, I walked back into the kitchen and almost spit in his food. But, I wouldn't do that; number one, I don't have the balls to, and number two, it's Karen's Cafe, and I don't want to disappoint her. I'm better than him anyway- even though I really, really, really hate him.

Can you tell I hate him? Because I do.

I would do absolutely anything for Haley. Some guys get all the luck. Can't she tell he's no good for her? She can do way better. She deserves someone like me.

It's not fair.

Life sucks.

And so, I carried out their food, much to my delight, they weren't kissing this time, but still, they were together, and she was laughing, and it hurt like hell.

She was never even mine… I don't know why it hurts this much.

I guess because I'll always wish she was mine, and I'll always wonder about what could have been.

But I have to stop thinking that- she never was mine, and she never will be. I have to get over this stupid crush. I mean really, it's pathetic.

I am pathetic.

I'm standing behind a cash register- on Valentine's Day- watching as the girl I am head over heels for, is on a date with another guy. Really, it doesn't get more pathetic than this.

I couldn't even look over at them anymore. It hurt too much.

It was unbearable.

What did I do to deserve this?

All I wanted was a chance.

All I wanted was Haley James.

And now I couldn't have her.

So as I heard Chris make stupid jokes, and make Haley laugh, a tiny piece of my heart broke. Just knowing I'd never be THAT guy, hurt like hell.

I looked over at the elderly man who seemed to be looking out at the street. It was getting late.

White fluffy flakes of crystallized snow were falling slowly, almost magically. It was ironic, because this night was anything but magical.

I shuffled over to his small table, and watched quietly for a minute as he seemed to be in a trance.

"Are you finished, sir?" I asked softly, breaking him from his trance.

He looked up at me with pity reflecting through his deep blue eyes, as he nodded, and I sighed quietly to myself. Just as I grabbed his plate and was about to walk away, he gently grabbed my arm, and I turned to look back at him.

I'll never forget what he said to me next. It was permanently painted in my mind.

"Don't worry, son. People who are meant to be together, always find their way in the end." He smiled reassuringly, as I felt the corner of lips curve slightly upwards. I wanted to believe him, but one look over at Haley and Chris, and that hope was shattered. Just like my heart.

I knew I needed to get over Haley, but I couldn't. Everyday in math she'd walk in, smile softly at me, and I'd fall for her all over again. I didn't even notice any other girl. Haley was all I thought about. I knew no one could ever compare to her. It sucked because her relationship with Chris had finally gone public, and the whole school knew about them. The worst part was everyday walking to third period, I'd have to watch them sucking face by her locker. Oh god, how I wish that was me. I can't even count the times I would think about kissing Haley on a daily basis.

Stupid Chris had it all. He didn't even know how lucky he was.

I couldn't even avoid it. Her locker was right outside my classroom. Sometimes I'd even see them holding hands in the hallway. One time, I overheard a small bit of their conversation, and she said she hated PDA, but Chris kept kissing her. If it were me, I would do anything she told me to do. I'd respect her wishes, even though it would be hard. If she was my girlfriend, I wouldn't be able to stop kissing her, but still, Chris practically molested her in the halls. I can't understand what she see's in that guy.

Every time I would see them together, it was like a knife would go straight to my heart. It was just torture. I already knew Haley and I would never be together, but having the reminder of her being with another guy… that was the hardest part.

I wish I could just get over her, and forget about her, but I couldn't. I was just a pathetic boy, hopelessly crushing on a girl who barely even noticed me. Sure, she would come to the cafe, and she'd smile at me in class, but that meant nothing. She was just a nice person. I'm sure she probably never even thought of me as anything other than the awkward kid from math class, or the guy from Karens Cafe. To her, I was a nobody, but to me, she was everything.

A few months had passed, and her weekly visits to Karens Cafe were extremely limited. Perhaps it was a good thing that I hadn't seen her much lately. It would probably hurt too much. Ever since she had gotten together with her stupid boyfriend, I had pretty much been moping around, acting all depressed. I couldn't help it.

Jake tried cheering me up, but nothing really worked. It was the same shit every day.

I'd wake up, go to school, stare at Haley in math class, day dream about her for the rest of the day, come home, do hours of homework, work at the cafe, come home, study, shower, go to sleep, and repeat. Sometimes I'd even head down to the Rivercourt and shoot some baskets. That was really the only thing that kept me sane. I haven't had time to play in a while, but whenever I did have time, I'd go there. I loved basketball. I still do, and I've always dreamed of someday playing in the NBA. I told my Dad that once, and he just laughed at me. Yup, he laughed. So, I gave it up. I knew I'd never be good enough. He would tell me that every time he had the chance.

That might be the reason for my lack of confidence.

Anyway, today was pretty much the same as usual. The only difference was that Haley was not in math class. That didn't keep me from day dreaming of her though. Today's dream was different, too. Normally the day dreams consisted of Haley professing her love for me, or us making out, and going on dates. But today… today I had some weird day dream, flash forward, of us when we are thirty and I walked into a house where she was waiting for me along with a small boy and little girl, and I'm pretty sure she was pregnant, too. It was the strangest thing. I'd never thought about something like that before. I mean, obviously, being a teenage, hormonal boy, I thought about well… I guess to put this lightly- the ways to actually make her pregnant, but I never thought about actually settling down with her. If it was up to me, I know I'd marry her and have a gazillion kids with her, but obviously that kind of stuff only happens in my daydreams. Still… it was a content thought.

Even now, at the cafe, I was still thinking about it. That is, until, the girl of my dreams walked through the door.

A giant smile graced my features as I looked up at her. She always boasted a dazzling smile, so I expected her to be wearing her best accessory- her smile. But she didn't. In fact, as she got closer, I noticed her eyes were red, and swollen- it was apparent she had been crying.

My smile immediately fell from my lips, and I know she noticed it, because she attempted to smile, but it was clear that it was fake considering it didn't reach the light in her eyes like it normally did.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly as she approached the counter.

Haley cleared her throat softly and wiped away a tear threatening to fall from her eye.

"I'm fine. How are you?" She asked, desperately trying to avoid the question.

"The usual." I shrug softly, "What can I get for you today?"

Haley sucked in a deep breath, "Um, can I get a hot chocolate and some macaroni and cheese?"

"Food of the gods?" I retaliate with a soft chuckle, and although it was small, she smiled for real this time.

"Yes please." She giggled before her frown returned.

"Anything else?" I asked reluctantly, not wanting her to leave just yet.

"No thanks."

"Would you like it to go?" I asked trying to keep my cool.

She nodded softly, diverting her gaze from mine. It looked like she was about to cry again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I pressed. I knew she wasn't. I was worried about her.

Her head dropped and she looked down at her feet as yet another tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

"My boyfriend umm… we uh… broke up." She whispered so quietly that I almost never heard her.

YES! YES! YES! YES!

Wait.

No.

She'd sad.

When Haley's sad, I'm sad.

But still…. SHE'S SINGLE.

I tried desperately to hide my excitement. Clearing my throat softly, I offered her a sorrowful smile.

"I'm sorry-" I started, but she once again looked up at me and this time more tears were falling freely down her cheeks.

"...He cheated on me." She said emotionlessly as she blinked softly.

My jaw immediately clenched as I tried to take a calming breath. I went from being depressed, to happy, to pissed in the matter of seconds.

How the hell could someone cheat on someone as perfect as Haley? God, I really freaking hate that guy.

My eyes widened, "Wow, I uh… I'm so sorry." I said truthfully. I can't even imagine how hurt she must have been-

"It's fine, I'm sorry." She said wiping the tears from her pink cheeks. "God, I'm such a mess." She laughed through her tears. My stomach flopped in response. I never wanted to see her like that.

"You're not." I reassured her with a small smile as I handed her the hot chocolate.

She smiled softly, "I don't mean to burden you with my problems, you probably don't care-"

Oh how she was so wrong. I cared so much.

"It's fine." I repeated her words, and once again smiled shyly at her. "I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but you deserve better." I said, hoping I didn't step out of my boundaries.

She sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Thank you."

I nodded in response and went to fetch her macaroni and cheese. I'd do anything to see her stop hurting.

I still couldn't believe that jack ass cheated on Haley. He really must be brainless.

I could never cheat on anyone- especially not Haley James. No one gets more perfect than her.

"Here you go." I declared, handing her a bag filled with a bowl of mac and cheese. She grabbed it gently and almost smiled. "Feel better." I added kindly.

"Thanks-" She began and handed me a ten dollar bill, but I refused to accept it.

"It's on the house." I smiled.

"But I-"
"Don't worry about it. Enjoy."

Once again, another smile spread over her face, and my knees grew weak. I had to admit, it felt damn good being the reason for her to smile again.

The next day, I expected to find Haley depressed in math. But what do I find? As I was walking to class, I saw her and Chris freaking Keller, freaking kissing by her freaking locker.

What the hell?

I thought they broke up?

You've gotta be kidding me.

Haley is way too smart to forgive his scrawny ass.

I was pissed.

No, pissed off was an understatement.

I tore my eyes away from the disgusting sight and fell into my seat. I listened closely to the daily gossip queen behind me. Apparently, Chris begged for Haley's forgiveness, claiming it was an 'accident' and he 'didn't mean to', and Haley gave him another chance.

Only she would be the kind of person to do that- forgive someone after hurting her.

Although, I know she deserves a lot better. She deserves someone like me. I would put her on a pedestal. I'd never hurt her.

I'm mad she forgave him, but that's just the type of person she is. She forgives everyone. She's just too kind. I wish she gave me a chance, and for the slightest second, I actually thought I did have a shot. Especially last night, when I thought she was finally single again.

I didn't think I could hate Chris Keller anymore than I already did, but I guess I was wrong, because I absolutely despise his guts.

Haley then practically skipped into math class and I wanted to puke. How does she not realize she deserves so much more than him? Better yet, how does she not realize I am practically in love with her? I'm sure the whole world knows it by now. I don't get how she doesn't know it. It's so obvious, I might as well write it on my forehead.

Perhaps, she does know, but chooses to ignore it because I'm a loser.

Who knows.

I'm sure half the guys in my school like her. How could they not?

Maybe she's oblivious to it, because she doesn't even know how beautiful she is. Just like Chris doesn't know how freaking lucky he is.

And so that's how it was for the rest of the year. Everyday I'd be reminded Haley is dating Chris and not me. She pretty much stopped coming to the cafe and I don't even think she ever really noticed me again. Some days she would smile, and some days she'd barely realize I was there. I was starting to get used to it. Sometimes, I'd feel special. Everytime she'd smile at me, or talk to me in the Cafe, I felt worthy. And now… I felt like nothing. It was amazing to have someone like Haley James notice me. Just one smile from her, made my day. That was my favorite part of the day. But once again, I was drifted back to the shadows. I was reminded that I really don't know Haley, and Haley doesn't know me. I crushed on her for the entire school year, and now, the school year was winding down, and I'd probably never see her again. That should be good though, right? Maybe I'll finally get over her.

Today is the last day of school. I'm pretty depressed because it's basically yet another reminder that life is probably laughing in my face because I never got to tell Haley how I felt about her. I thought about telling her, but I know it wouldn't do anything. It's not like she'd break up with Chris and come running to me. No, she'd probably just laugh in my face and think I was a loser or something. And so, I decided to bury my feelings, just like I had for the past year. I know there will come a day when my feelings for Haley will finally dissipate, but I will never forget her. She was my first crush. And although I hardly know her, I feel like I do. She may not know it, and she may not feel the same way, but I will always have a special spot in my heart for her. I'll forever be the boy who has a hopeless, pathetic crush on a girl he never had a chance with. But for the first time in my life, she made me feel worthy. She changed my life. She gave me something to believe in.

I didn't have a chance, and it sucked I had to watch her be in love with someone else, but it was a pleasure having the opportunity to be graced by her presence.

I never had the confidence to tell her how I felt, but after pining over her for almost a year, I needed to at least get something. So I worked up the nerve to ask her to sign my yearbook.

After math class, I took a deep breath and slowly walked up to her desk where she was gathering her things into her bag.

"Hey Haley, um, do you think you can sign my yearbook?" I asked her nervously.

She looked up and smiled, "Of course! Only if you sign mine." She joked lightly.

I chuckled slightly and handed her my yearbook and a pen. "Okay. Thanks."

I watched as she scribbled lightly over a page, and I contemplated what to write. I could either pour my heart out, or just go with the typical standard "Good luck with life". I decided to do a little bit of both.

"So what college are you going to?" I asked.

"Stanford. It's been my dream since I was like five." She laughed lightly.

"Awesome. Congratulations. What are you going for?"

"I think English, but maybe music. I'm not sure yet." She answered with a small smile. "What about you?"

I inhaled deeply. This was a question I was asked often, and I hated it.

"Um I'm just going to go to North Carolina University, I'm still undecided about my major though." I shrugged. I'm sucha loser.

"That's okay, but hey, good luck with everything." She stated with a small smile and handed me my yearbook.

"Thanks. You too." I replied with an anxious smile. I had very little time to write what I needed to write.

"Take your time." Haley said as she noticed the blank page I was staring at.

"Sorry. I'm not very good at this." I muttered awkwardly, and she simply smiled. After taking a reassuring breath, I discreetly wiped my hands on my jeans and gripped the pen tightly.

"Dear Haley,

Good luck at Stanford. I know you'll go very far whether you go with music and/or English. We haven't known each other for a long time, but thanks for always being nice to me- you made my transition to Tree Hill a lot smoother. You definitely made math more fun, and I appreciated your visits at the Cafe. (You're never too old to enjoy some mac 'n' cheese!) I hope we'll get to meet up again sometime. You're truly amazing, and you deserve the absolute best. Have a great summer! I'll miss you…

Wishing you the very best,

Nathan Scott (aka, that awkward kid from math/ Lucas's cousin)

P.s- Congrats on being Valedictorian!

I finally finished, and looked up to find Haley smiling down at me.

"Thanks Nathan." She said sweetly.

I wanted to hug her, but I figured that might be a little weird.

"So uh, are you doing anything fun this summer?" I asked nervously. I didn't know if this would be our last conversation, and so I wanted to make it last.

"I'm actually going to Stanford for a summer internship. I'm leaving the day after graduation."

Yep, it was official. I was never going to see her again…

This was it.

My heart sunk low in my chest. I would never get Haley James. I missed my chance.

"Oh well, good luck." I smiled despite my sadness.

"Thanks. What are your plans?" She asked as we walked out of class together. For the first time, it dawned on me, that we felt like friends.

I shrugged, "Probably just working at the cafe, playing with Lilly, or hanging out at the River court."

I saw her eyes widen in recognition, "You play basketball?"

I nodded in confirmation, "Yeah, I'm not that good though."

"I'm sure you're great."

I smiled widely. "Thanks."

We approached her next class, and a sinking feeling started to set in my heart.

"Well I better go. Good luck with everything, Nathan. I'll see you around, maybe?" She smiled hopefully, and I nodded like an idiot.

"Okay, yeah. See ya, Haley."

"Bye!" She waved, and I watched her walk into the classroom and walk out of my life.

I should have felt happy that I would soon get over this pathetic crush, but I couldn't help the sadness that flushed through my body. I was really going to miss her.

Rushing to my next class, I quickly sat down and flipped through my yearbook to find what she wrote to me. I prayed it was something meaningful. Something to give me hope. To erase this empty feeling in my heart. I finally found her neat handwriting, and my heart thumped wildly in my chest as my eyes lingered over her words. A large smile graced my lips as I read it about one hundred times, letting the words sink in. I would probably soon memorize it considering I kept reading it. Maybe I didn't lose hope…

"Dear Nathan,

First of all, thank you for all the free stuff from the cafe. I totally owe you! I really wish I could have gotten to know you better. You're a really sweet guy, and I wish you the best of luck with everything! Know that dreams come true, because they do, every day. (:

Sincerely,

Haley James"

So that was part one, next chapter is part two, and it takes place three years later. I decided to post two parts because it would have been too long, but I originally planned on just making it one.