Disclaimer Don't own them even if I do love them.

A/N I know I should have finished my To Where You Are First but this popped into my head and wouldn't go away. Darn REM for putting it there. (Based on their song At My Most Beautiful)

Warning Sexual themes. Yaoi. Boys love. Gay themes. NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN RATED R for a reason

My Most Beautiful

I watch him stretch out lazily on the bed. My bed. Now you'd think I'd be all weird about it. I've never had sex with a man before. I always thought that it would be just wrong to do what we have just done, but I don't regret it. In fact, I'd say it was the purest thing I've ever done with anyone. Even now, in the morning there's no façade of love. What's there is real. Is this love? Do I want it if it is? What has love ever done for either of us? I catch a glimpse of my scars in the mirror and cast a glance back over my shoulder at Hakkai's stomach. Shit. What now?

"Hmm…Now I make breakfast," he says from behind me. Didn't realize that I'd said anything. I turn just in time to watch him slide his pants back on and start the hunt for his discarded monocle. "How do you want your eggs?"

"Not burnt, not raw," I answer. I can already feel myself hardening staring at his slim body. Damn.

He's so beautiful. His pale skin and long, thin body remind me of a marble statue. It's those eyes that really get you though. Pure emerald green with no brown or blue to them. Looking at him, I know Kanan must have been a real hottie if she looked anything like him. God knows one of him is enough for me though. Last night was….last night was amazing.

I turn on the shower and let the hot water run down my body. It should be a cold shower, but I don't know if I want to kill this feeling just yet. I let a little moan escape as I remember.

He was sitting in the kitchen reading a battered paper back. I can't say for sure why I did it, but I stood behind him and began to rub his shoulders. He got up and stared at me for a moment and said my name. From there on it was all instinct. My mouth meeting his. Clothes being shed. It was the most erotic night of my life. Who would have thought it would be with a thin, shy man with a monocle? Hakkai. Beautiful Hakkai.

A whoosh of cold air hits me as the door opens. "Gojyo? We're out of eggs. Is there anything else you'd like?"

"You!" It comes out of me as a grunt.

"What was that?"
"You! In here now!" I hear him laugh as he closes the door and doffs his pants. He's going to kill me if this keeps up.

After our shower, it's back to bed. After the bed, it's to the kitchen. Then to the couch. I've never done anything like this with anyone. He slumps back against the couch with his hair tussled and his monocle still missing. I've never asked about the monocle. His eye was torn out, but there's no evidence of that now. He looks at me with both eyes. There's no hint of the fakeness of a glass eye. Maybe I don't want all the details.

There's another question I have to ask. "Hakkai, is this love?"

He laughs. "I'm not so sure, but I think it is. You're my best friend and…"

"Don't even think of saying I'm like your brother! That 'all in the family' shit doesn't do it for me," I scoff.

"I was going to say that you're my lover. Is that offensive too?" He's still got that smile plastered across his face, like he's so damned pleased with himself.

"That's ok. I kinda like the sound of it." I take a hit off my cigarette and stare at him. Damn, he's beautiful. I look away. "I like the thought of you being mine. I've never said that about anybody before. But I guess you've got me beat in that area of expertise."

A strange look flashes over his face. Maybe I said something wrong. "Not really. You're only the second person I've been with. Kanan…well, she was…she was." He shrugs. "That was different."

"I guess it was." I wrap my arms around him and he leans his back against me. It's odd feeling the flat hardness of a man instead of the soft curves of a woman. Odd, but more enticing. At least with Hakkai, I can't picture another man I'd do this with. He's the only beautiful man I've ever seen. My hand finds the puckered flesh stretched over his rock hard abs. When I found him, he was almost dead. I'm partially responsible for bringing him back to life, but he did the same for me. The feeling I've been waiting for my whole life, is this it? Is that look in his eyes what I've wanted to see for so long? He knows what this life has been like for me.

"Hakkai, I need you."

"Again?" he sighs. He's looking into my eyes. Does he see it there? "Gojyo, I love you, but there are things that I'm going to need time to get over."

"I know. I can't say it yet, but you know how I feel, right?" I swallow the lump in my throat.

"I do." Damn, he's beautiful.

I caress his cheek and kiss him one more time. The most beautiful man in the world, and he's mine.