A/N: All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, however I do own the plot and Miss Sanders ;)

Emmett Cullen wanted to be a party animal.

He'd been born in a time, when parties were only for the rich and famous, where people like him, with farms and ranches didn't have time for such frippery. They had land to till, seeds to sow, seedllings to protect, crops to harvest, horses to feed, eggs to be collected from the pen and numerous other little jobs that can only exist in a farm. The only past time a boy like him had was hunting. And Emmett loved hunting until it lead him to a ferocious bear who mauled him and was about to have him for lunch when he was saved by his angel, his Rosalie. But that was a story for another time.

Right now, he wanted to see what the fuss was about. Why young, hearty men wore flashy clothes and why pretty girls wore almost none at all and went to discotheques. Didn't they have farms to tend? All of them couldn't be that rich. Ah, but he forgets sometimes, that times have changed. But not one to linger on sad thoughts for too long, Emmett resolved to go see for himself what this 'disco thing' was actually about.

His next task was to actually convince one of his brothers to go with him. Asking Carlisle would scandalize the ladies of the neighborhood, after all the 1970's were not when one went to a discotheque with their parents! Jasper coolly refused him, when he asked for he couldn't bear the scent of human blood and when placed in such closed quarters with a bunch of hormonally charged, sweaty humans, he was more likely to massacre the whole lot of them than be of any real use to Emmett in his quest of discovery.

Finally, after much coaxing and blackmailing, he managed to convince Edward to accompany him to the nearest discotheque. They dressed in those open button leathery shirts and bell bottom pants that were the rage among youngsters in those days and finally proceeded to The Three Musketeers at a respectably late hour in the evening.

Edward immediately caught the fancy of many ladies and was asked to dance by most of them but he refused them all. Emmett couldn't see the harm in dancing with a pretty lady especially since Edward was unattached but he had to concede that with their heightened sense of smell, these sweaty humans did smell pretty bad and to be actually in close quarters with one while dancing, was quite a challenge.

Anyway, he doubted that Edward would like to dance because the boys and girls in front of him were either contorting their bodies into weird shapes that amazed even him the consummate sportsman and gymnast but also shamlessly gyrating against each other is scandalously provocative moves. He would love to dance with Rosalie like that.

'Emmett, for God's sake, don't think about that! I've enough horrible thoughts coming from these idiots to deal with you too!'

Ah. Sometimes Emmett forgot that his brother was a mind reader.

'Sometimes? How about every five seconds?'

Edward really needed to loosen up. Any other boy would've loved to be in his place. There was a reason Playboy was so popular. He hoped Rosalie hadn't found his latest copy. The last time she did, they had had a huge fight and he had been banned from their room for a month. A month!

'Some of us can think of something other than fornicating too, Emmett.'

Oh, yes, your prudish majesty, it's only because you haven't-'

Emmett was interrupted by a pretty girl who sidled up too him and said, 'I'm quite tired of looking at you from so far away, come dance with me so I can see you properly!'

Shocked by her blatant invitation (Girls had really changed in his forty years as a vampire) and very much wanting to dance but scared of Rosalie's wrath, he scrambled to think of an excuse.

'I'm lame.' was the best he could come up with at such a short notice. He tried to ignore Edward's poorly disguised laughter.

'Oh you poor man! How did that happen? Were you in the war?' she came closer as she talked.

'Er..yes', he replied, digging his hole deeper, all the while trying to back away.

'Oooo, do you know John Sanders? He's my brother, he was stationed in Vietnam too!' She had literally and figuratively backed him into a corner now.

He just looked at Edward pleadingly and thought, 'Help me, and I won't tease you for five months!' which was a pretty good bargain by his standards.

His brother came to his rescue and hissed, 'Just say yes, she won't ask for details.'

'You're Sanders' sister? Nice to meet you Miss Sanders!' he fibbed.

'Oh believe me, the pleasure's all mine. Now won't you tell me your name?'

'I'm Smith, Captain Cody Smith,' he said desperately, unable to see a way to drive this clingy woman away while Edward tried to cover his laughter with coughs and failed once again.

'So Captain Smith, what do you say to a dinner date tomorrow? We could go to the promenade for ice-cream laters. You must really make up for not dancing with me, you know.'

I'm not dancing because I'm supposed to be lame, you daft woman. And I should make up for that?

'Er..I would Miss Sanders, but you see, I'm leaving town tomorrow-'

'Oh no! Captain Smith, you will break my heart. Then what do you say to a late night movie tonight?'

Even he was not so dumb to not understand the implications of that statement.

'Thank you Miss but I have to leave early in the morning.'

There, he could not think of a clearer dismissal. Edward really needed to stop laughing, it was getting on his nerves.

'You are bent on avoiding me, Captain. I shall make do with your handsome friend.'

With a whoosh of air, Edward was gone before she completed her sentence.

'But where did he go?'

THE END

A/N: Sorry, I couldn't see it going anywhere after this, since Emmett is after all, lame. If you liked it, please review :D