Klaus,
My knight. You have endured well.
It will be a long time before you forgive yourself. I hope you understand that this was far beyond your reach. I hope you understand how much it meant to me that you tried nevertheless. I saw how much you tried every day and how much it took from you.
We both carried our burdens. Yours was mine. And mine was the fear that by dying, I was slowly killing you. In mind, if not in body, you were wasting away. For a while, I had no hope.
And then one day, he appeared as if by magic among the golden stalks outside.
As I'm writing, you are outside instructing Haruki on the harvest. The sun is blinding on the swaying fields and he has just thrown his pack to the ground for a rest, despite all of his bravado only twenty minutes ago. You are standing with your hands on your hips not far from where you first encountered him a few days ago. There is a smile on your face that I know well but have not seen in recent memory. Though it is hard to explain why, your laughter makes it so that I can finally feel the breeze that has moved these stalks for months.
In only a few days, young Haruki has lifted my burden. It may even appear that he has lifted yours, though I fear in reality that yours is yours alone to bear.
Forgive me, Klaus. Forgive me for being unable to give you more. Whether by design or by circumstance, even at our closest, I was always far away. There is a terrible power in words and deeds, in the commandments carved in me since birth and the vows that have shadowed my every footstep even as far as this soft, golden land. It is so strong that I cannot conclude whether it is a force from within or without – a lightning strike from the Gods themselves. Whatever the case, I could never give myself to you the way you wanted. The way I wanted.
But already I can see in him all of what I could not give. There is more in him than even he knows. You have to help him find it.
The days are changing. I can feel it now in the murmurs on the street, murmurs which have been carried on the wind from my land where a great change is taking place. Commander Haruki Yamamoto will not have the same fog woven around him that I had. He will see with the eyes of the young. He will see it all clearly. You and he will be able to build a new world together.
Please listen, my knight. For these are my last commands to you:
You will want to stay on these fields and die with me. You cannot.
You will want to deny him because of me. You must not.
You were born to be a knight. You were born to be at your commander's side.
And you must know, though I could not express it before, that you have made me happier than I ever thought possible.
It is your turn now. Go to him.
Yours,
Taki
Suguri took a step back when he noticed the letter was shaking in Klaus' hand. He was still hunched over it, a thatch of hair keeping his face hidden from view. Out of nowhere, it made Suguri think back to a day when he called him a hulking lout.
Very slowly, almost as though a divine string was being pulled against his will, Klaus looked up. Suguri held back a gasp. The wild anger in his gaze was something Suguri was used to. The streaming tears were not.
'How?' Klaus began in a low rumble. 'How could you keep this from me for two whole fucking years?'
The shed was silent. It sat discreetly amidst cicada trills. A feline shadow skirted over the cracked shingle roof.
Somewhere far in the distance, the first grenade tore the air apart. Having travelled miles to reach the shed, the sound was reduced to a dry, unassuming thud. Both men knew what it meant as clearly as if they saw the explosion before their eyes. But neither moved.