It is believed that those who draw forth breath and life, those who refer to themselves as human beings are more than just physical manifestations. Legend speaks of a strange and unique force intwined within both mind and body, never seen, but always valid, always ascendant, and always there: In some languages, both dead and not, it is called l'ame, ka, akasha, psyche...soul. But regardless of what it is called...it is precious.
For Within each soul lies a diary of momentum, expectation, and desire that combine to create meaning...
And With each meaning...there is purpose
with each purpose...there is interaction...
with each interaction...there is change...
with change...there is born Causality.
And combined...they forge Destiny
And into this world, there shall be born those rare souls with momentum that astounds creation,
Desire that will incite passion,
Expectation of nothing less than than the Universe Itself
And interaction that will inspire the Soul of the Very Earth Itself.
These are the Souls who burn so fiercely for something beyond mere grasp...this is the story of such a soul...this is the story of
Eternal
-Scorpious Marse Antares
Involvement I: Clairessence
Chapter One: The Lord's Prayer
Water.
Water has to be the cure. They say it not only cleans the body, but that it also makes renewed the soul. If I can just wash this filth away...I can start over...I can start fresh. I've tried everything else...everything a human being can do to achieve redemption...but this is it...
this is all I have left...
Flowing through his thought is a scene. His pain is clear as glass, and just as fragile. The moment plays without end.
Two boys...kissing...fondling...groping...devouring. The young boy whose mind is in question...the force of it...the sensations that flow through him are ethereal...unbridled...addictive
His senses spark to ultimate awareness... of "his" cologne..."his" eyes..."his" touch..."his" passion. Of something beyond words and contemplation. They were wrong, traitors to their God...blasphemers to their religion. Every touch of flesh, every taste of salt and mouth felt so natural. But it was wrong... No, beyond wrong. It was abomination...it had to be wrong... To lay with man was sin...to feel this way was sin...he just didn't care. He had had a choice before it even started to resist, to follow the words of God Almighty, and rebuke such foul temptations...but these feelings...these wants...this euphoria... It was as if his heart would no longer be denied.
"God...Dear Father...Please forgive me..."
I can't scrub enough, he thought. By this time, he was sitting on the shower's floor, his arms red and covererd in welts...he had tried so hard to scrub the shame off of him...hoping desperately that the water would be his salvation, to clean him of not only dirt and grime...but sin is a permanent stain...nothing but nothing can clean it . And my stubborn mind won't let me forget how for those brief moments, I felt special, wanted, worthy, beautiful...He made me feel, for once...a tear slid down his cheek...human. He shook those thoughts out of his head. He then looked up at the crucifix right above the bathroom mirror with narrowed eyes...he dried off.
He put on his clothes, and headed downstairs. He quickly stopped halfway...but continued again just as suddenly. He rushed down the stairs past buzzing relatives who soon became silent with his appearance.
No matter.
He walked passed them as if they were all non-existent.
"Baby," he heard his Mother, "please tell me what's going on. Sweetie, don't leave it like this.. What happened today...your father...he didn't mean to do what he..." she could barely hold back her tears as she was reminded of the swelling under his left eye. "Baby, let me help you...talk to me...you ain't never kept me out before..." his Mother said.
He stopped her . "Don't worry, Momma. I'll be fine. I just need some time alone." he could barely get the words out himself.
The moment was interrupted by a gruff, menacing voice. "You ain't goin' nowhere."
Matgen turned toward the door and said drily, "go fuck yourself old man."
Matgen heard furniture and dishes clattering and people shuffling. Matgen spun around again to see his father desperately trying to get at his son, being held back by his family members,
"Geoge, baby, please don't!" yelled Matgen's mother.
Matgen could no longer hide his fury. "Just give me an EXCUSE, Old man. You touch me and heaven be my witness, I will make your wife a widow...Just make your move...GIVE ME AN EXCUSE!!"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!" George screamed
Without answering, Matgen ran out the door. He could hear his mother's pleas for him to come back. But as much as it killed him to hear the pain in her voice...all he could do was cry as he ran...
Looking at the crucifix back at home inspired him to come here...to the church he had known his entire life...to confront the God who thought this was a joke. God had to be a sick, practical joker.
"Okay, God...very funny...we all got a big laugh out of this. My father hates me, my siblings think I'm a freak...I'm probably going to lose every friend in the world I've ever had. You pulled the ultimate joke. Ha!...fucking...Ha! Now stop with the jokes. I wanna wake up! Bring me back into a world that makes sense, a world in which I was born normal. No more jokes...change me now."
He looked up at the powerful bronze depiction of Jesus on the Crucifix. But the statue spoke nothing but pure silence. "I SAID CHANGE ME!!!" the boy balls his fist and his echoes are so loud the church itself becomes startled with vibration. He falls down to his knees. Make it go away...tears stream down his face. A half an hour passes before he turns to leave, an empty shell. The statue to whom he pleads gives no hint of what His response was...or will possibly be. As Matgen walks across the street. His dulled senses don't notice the sudden appearance of headlights, or the three thousand pound object with four wheels that smashes into him. All he knows is a shock going through him as he flies forth into the air, and lands square on his back. The sound of a screaming woman and a distraught man and a car alarm slowly fade.
What is this? It's becoming so quiet. It's strange...I...I...feel myself...this makes no sense...I feel myself separating from something. I think it's from my body...I think I'm being taken from the world. Mommy...Daddy...where are you?...I...I...I don't wanna be alone...
Complete silence and darkness...
Gabriella rocks back and forth, on her knees, humbled before her Almighty God, and before the crucifix and Jesus, to whom her soul owes its' salvation, for He is said to have made it possible for her soul to receive the gift of Salvation.
Heavenly Father, I'm so confused. I know Your All-Powerful Mind has a plan for my baby...and I'm tryin' to have hope...Dear Lord... but my family...she pats her hand on her chest as she rocks...shaking her head at the wound so deeply carved into her essence...my family is falling apart at the seams, and I wanna scream out Your Name. Oh, Heavenly Father, Please, I beg You, please, wherever my baby is, protect him Dear Lord. Give him life, give him strength...and give to him the Mercy that only an Almighty God of Your Power can give him...Hallelujah, Dear Jesus, Hallelujah...Hear my plea, Oh, Lord.
Tears stream down her face as she looks up to the ceiling, still rocking back and forth on her knees as she prays the prayer she has known ever since she drew her first breath
Our Father, Who art in heaven...
Alicia, call an ambulance...Oh, dear God there's blood everywhere!!!!...
Hallow be Thy Name...
Yes...yes...This is Alicia Banks...me and my husband, we accidentally hit a young boy
Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven
Ummm...Uhhh...we're on Camblewood Road and 21st Avenue...oh God hurry, there's so much blood
Give us this day our daily bread...
Everybody stand back, we're the medical team...just stand back
And forgive us our trespasses...
Oh, Shaun, hold me...
As we forgive those who trespassed against us
It's okay baby, we're gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be just fine.
Lead us not into temptation...
Get him into the ambulance
But deliver us from evil...
We're losing him
For Thine is the Kingdom...
We're losing him!
The Power and Glory...
Oh, shit!
Forever and Ever...
He's flatlining
Amen.
TO BE CONTINUED...
NEXT: CHAPTER 2: SEE YOU YESTERDAY