A/N This a a complete stream of conscience piece. I was inspired by the stills from 5x17. Probably AU since its just what I want for Alicia right now. just a friend to keep her afloat.
A/N ok so me and fan do not get along, this is suppose to be a story about Finn and Alicia not Finn and Kalinda...here's the right one I'm pretty sure I got everything all fixed now...please just kill me if it's not...
In the absence of facts you have to create your own conclusion…
It's what Alicia does as she stumbles through the haze that has been her day since she got the phone call from Kalinda. She's been to the courthouse, she has seen the shattered glass on the floor and remnants of the windows. She's seen the blood on the floor. Will's blood… She's talked to Diane, she has listened to the voicemail. The voicemail is what leads her to the judge, Judge Politi leads her to Finn Polmar a new ASA they brought in from New York.
Finn is a hero in her eyes, she's never met him, not until she's standing in his hospital room talking about the love of her life's last moments. But he is her hero. He tried to pull Will to safety and got shot in the process. The words thank you will never be enough. Finn will never understand what his actions in that courtroom will mean to her. She will owe him something for the rest of her life, she never got to make it up to Will, she never got to pay him back for what he did for her, but she will Finn. She will make sure that she shows Finn that what he did that day did not go unnoticed.
It's been a downward spiral since that day. Most days all she wants to do is drink. Wine helps, A LOT it dulls the pain to a manageable level. She doesn't find a reason to get out of the ratty clothes she's wearing and they are starting to hang more loosely than when she first put them on. She crawled into them when she got home from the funeral. She had forgotten she had borrowed the sweats from Will after they had gotten caught in the rain while walking around the lake one weekend that Peter had had the kids. They were buried in the bottom of her drawer lost to the sands of time. It's the closest she can get to him now. She can't even visit his headstone since his sisters took him back to Baltimore. And she's vowed to stay in them until she can breathe again, she's staying in them until she can look around the room and not see his face. She will stay in the only thing she has left until the tears dry for good. Sometimes she thinks she's drowning she can feel the water closing over her head and she wants to just let go and let the current drag her wherever it may.
That is until she looks up to see Finn Polmar standing in her bedroom. When he asks for her help he doesn't know it but he's throwing her a life line. He's paving a way back to the land of the living for her. Suddenly there's a fire left from the love Will left behind. Everything is not better but it's easier, and she's got an anchor now. Finn pulled her off the cliff and for the first time in a while she has hope. Now she owed Finn twice.
It's funny how the unseen forces in the world put you where you need to be no matter how hard you fight it.