ATTENTION: this is 100 MY STORY. I used to be the author Stitch My Mouth and I posted this story a few years ago. I began to lose interest in anime so I stopped writing but when I decided to come back I forgot my entire log in information so I made a new account. I would like to finish this story because I find it one of my better works from when I younger so I'm reposting it and updating it. Thanks

Porcelain Doll

Disclaimer: I do not own RK, never have, never will, if I did I'd be rich and wouldn't be wasting my free time here.

Summary: The fact that she would do anything for him meant nothing, the fact that she'd given everything up just in hopes that he'd talk to her meant nothing. According to him, he did not love her; she was just a child trying to be an adult, nothing more, nothing less. So she married a man she did not love, and he stayed isolated away from society, frozen forever in his own shame.

Rated: R for violence, swearing, abuse, depression, murder, suicide, and possible lemon/lime stuff.

Genre: Romance/Angst/Drama

Note: READ THIS! Please do not tell me how I have so many grammar mistakes or any such things, I write like that on purpose to show you can have a good story without the period in the right place.

Turn back now if you know you're going to hate this fic, flames are not excepted when warnings have been posted.

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Drip, drop, drip, drip, drip, drop.

Rain, rain used to make her happy, a lot of things did to be honest with you, she loved the sound of water as it fell from the heavens and onto the Earth. That's why she had chosen a rainy day to tell him her feelings for him . . . But now she despised the rain, almost as much as she thought she did him, for it only brought her sadness . . .

She greeted the world with a smile, open eyes, and a heart full of love, she knew today would be the day, the day she truly became happy . . . or at least she really, really hoped it would. She was nervous as hell of course, but she quietly assured herself that nothing but the positive would happen. I mean it HAD to right? With the small signals he put out she HAD to be right!

She had walked into his room when the sun had set and most everyone but them had fallen asleep. She could hear light drizzles of rain coming from beyond the walls. Looking like an angel she walked slowly over to him, his eyes opened slightly to her presence.
"Is something wrong?" He asked.
"Yes."
"What?"
"I find it wrong to keep something like what I'm going to tell you."
". . . . ." He waited for her to continue, she sighed.
"I . . . well" the words were lost only for a second, "I love you."
If she had expected him to be happy she would have been disappointed; his face remained still, no emotion, except a small sigh of what? Happiness? Sadness? Sleepiness? Anger?
"All it is, is a small infatuation, you'll get over it." He said, "I cannot love a child."
She bit her lip to stop the tears threatening to fall.
"You're the child!" She screamed, "Always denying everything around you for what? For repenting so called sins that no one gives a fuck about! Get over yourself! You should be glad someone, even if it is a child, is telling you they love you! Do you think this is what they would have wanted you to do with yourself? Freeze yourself away from all the people who actually want you to be in their lives and to be happy?!"

"What would you possibly know?" He asked, "You could never . . ."
"Understand?" She said, "Oh I understand, I understand you're a coward to scared to face reality!"
"Then why love me?"
"Because" She said her voice softening, "I hope the man I used to know, the one who was brave and kind could possibly still exists inside of this doll you've made yourself to be."
"Like I said before, I cannot love a child."
"A child who happens to have lived 18 years, whose happened to see what you once were and what you became, no one ever thought you'd become what you have did you know that? We all thought you'd live to be great, instead you've lived to be empty." She said, "But yet here I am, telling a ghost of a man that I love him."

Ever since that day he had avoided her and she had avoided him all except one time when he had to go to the market with her. He was probably forced to, I mean after all who would want to go shopping with the child? Certainly not him.

So in the end, sick of waiting and lusting and crying she met a man who comforted her and who loved her even though she was just a so called child of 21. He loved her, however no matter how hard she tried, she did not love him. Her heart belonged to the man who did not love her, her heart would always belong to him even if he didn't care or wished it didn't.

She would never tell, instead she would smile happily to her two sons and kiss her husband and pretend the world was in order and pretend that her husband was the man she really loved. She pretended that night never happened and instead replaced it with a fantasy that he had told her he loved her back.

But she prayed her husband would never find out she loved another and never loved him, for he would kill her and her only love. And silently she wondered to herself if he had ever been in love with someone his entire life, if maybe he was using her the same way she was using him. The thought almost made her laugh, she wished it was true.

He didn't know though, which was thankful for, he also didn't know she had to silently cry herself to sleep every night, or that the sight of their children made her want to jump from a cliff, or that they meant nothing to her.

She also wondered how he was doing; it had been around 3 years since that night and approximately 2 years, 6 months, and 25 days since she had seen him. She wondered if he missed her, she wondered if maybe he ever did love her, and she wondered if she were to run away from the house she was trapped in and to him if he would welcome her with open arms.

Most likely not. He probably send you back where you came from. He let you suffer.

How she wished and prayed her thought was wrong . . . Yet for some reason, it felt as if it were right.

"You should eat your food." Her husband said.
Slowly she realized where she was, she was inside her house, and eating dinner with the man she lied to the world about claiming she loved him.
"I've lost my appetite." She said in a frail voice.
"Well at least try to eat." He offered her a smile, he was kind.

Who was she kidding? She had a kind man, a loving man, a loving man who loved her of all things, a man who took care of their children, a man who'd do anything for those he loved. So why could she not let go of the other and love the man who loved her? It made no sense.

Perhaps she was meant to be miserable, perhaps god hated her for reasons she did not know.

All she knew, however, was this:
If she could change history, everyone would be much happier.

Note: Sorry for the shortness, this was just a prelude. R&R please.