Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the scene idea.
Innocence
I was sitting on the porch, playing a game of chess with Holden Caulfield that afternoon. It was pouring down rain, which was really the only noise to be heard. It was enough, though. It was pounding, it was dominant, and it allowed my thoughts to be focused solely on the innocent game, blocking out the other things in my mind demanding attention. That's what I needed right then, an innocent distraction such as that. Holden was always good for things like this. Sitting there, silently on the porch, it was nice.
It was nice. Till about half way through the game, when the quiet safe haven was broken. Shattered, and not even the rain really managed to drain out the cool reality that had crudely, unknowingly appeared. Banging the screen door open, the bastard stood there, asking me for the cigarettes. I stared at the chess board, trying to block him out. Concentrating on the tip of my king's crown, I pretended he didn't exist. He asked again, a little more persistently. The smell of scotch started to seep into my senses, mixed with old, stale smoke. It disgusted me, but I ignored it. It didn't exist. He didn't exist.
Finally the bastard left, slamming the screen door behind him. It bounced a couple times on its hinges before settling still once more. The silence returned, broken only by the constant stream of the downfall. Unlike before though, the rain didn't help block out anything. It was merely background noise to the river of horrid thoughts running through my mind, unrelenting. Vaguely, I was aware that Holden was talking to me, but I barely noticed. My brain was too clouded with the memories of the yells and the screams and the scotch and the smoke.
I hadn't been aware it happened until I saw it hit the board. I just stared at the spot where the tear sat, silently disgusted with myself. I was stronger then this, I knew I was stronger then this. It was pathetic. I couldn't let him get to me like this.
Silently, I whiped the tear away, smudging it into nothing.
Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. Quickly looking up, Holden was looking down at me, confused as hell, and just as worried. He indicated for me to get up, and guided me to the glider beside the table, hand still on my shoulder. The thoughts continued to run through my mind. Different memories flooding through, filled with spite, loathing, and sadness; none too nice. It was enough to make the strongest person crack, I'm sure.
Perhaps that's the reason I finally broke down on the glider. Or maybe it was the fact that the dam had been breached by that single, weak tear earlier. Maybe it was both, I don't know. What I do know is that it hurt like hell, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop the tears. They just kept coming. It was humiliating, but at the same time relieving.
Then, out of nowhere, Holden started pressing light kisses all over my face. Everywhere, from my eyebrows to my chin. It was a peculiar feeling, but not really unwelcome. Feeling his small gestures of support were comforting in a way, and it helped. It was innocent. It was care. It was proof that I wasn't alone, and it was just enough strength to close my eyes, and blink away the tears.
--End--
A/N: I had to write a monologue for one of the characters in Catcher in the Rye for my english class a few weeks ago, and decided to post it here. You like? You no like? Please review and let me know:).