Disclaimer:
I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, these belong to that wonderful author JK Rowling and the various publishing companies used to publish her works. I am however borrowing them, no not to make money but for fun and fun only. Only JK Rowling, her publishers, Warner Brothers and who JK Rowling says can make money and she has not given me permission for that, so no I do not make money off this, again it is for fun!
Alastor Mad-eye Moody has been through several Wizarding wars and now peace reigns over the land. The remainder of the Order of the Phoenix are at Malfoy Manor, cause its large and well it annoys Lucius Malfoy and Mad-eye is bored, poor Lucius Malfoy….
He was bored and had scouted the manor fully, he knew every last part of the manor as he was an Auror and as this was the new headquarters he had scouted it out so fully that well there was not a place that any of the Malfoy house could hide any dark dangerous or nasty things. He found Draco's stash of muggle comics and he found Narcissa's stash of what he presumed were torture items to use on her husband, they looked harmless enough so he went on and found nothing much on Lucius, only a book on "1000 Ways to Annoy a Muggle", some muggle artifacts and a motorcycle manual.
It was a hot summer to boot after the war and so a lazy time as well. Which is why he found the master of the house, master of a household that included eleven very smart capable house elves, his wife (who was really in charge) and smart and now humbled son and of course the order. Now the master of the house was on the balcony of his large library looking down on the main floor of the library and the master Lucius Malfoy was asleep in a comfortable chair a book in hand on his lap. It was hot enough that he was clad in a pair of black breeches and white shirt and not much else. His shirt was not buttoned very much and so his strong pale chest was visible (with a scattering of white-blond hair) and his long platinum locks framed his hansom pale face. Moody saw him and he knew exactly what to do to him. He walked up, bent down to the other man's ear.
"Hey pretty boy." He growled and Lucius slept on and let out a grunt. "Pretty boy wake up." Moody said and took out his wand and grabbed a lock of that very famous hair. "Hey Lucius uncle Auror Moody here."
"Oh hello." Lucius said waking up and smiling still half asleep. The smile lasted 4.3214576 seconds and then he jumped up.
Downstairs in the dining room where the order was meeting at the large dining table the sound of a scream was heard. Mr. Weasley was reading a muggle magazine, Hermione was trying to free the house elves and Harry was polishing his broom. Sirius had just turned back from a dog again to the amusement of Draco and Narcissa was writing down in her neat clear writing the notes. Lupin and Tonks sat by the windows and Lupin who's senses were so acute knew exactly who had screamed and he thought he knew why. Fred and George looked up and grinned and Bill moved a chess piece to put his brother Ron into checkmate. Fleur was tending to a phonograph and she looked up and knew the scream had something to do with Moody.
Meanwhile Lucius had run, out of the room, and down the hall with Moody moving after him. He did not want to be near the man, his wand or near the mad Auror and so he ran, terror in his face and eyes and he jumped down the stairs (his wand helped) and ran into the dining room. To say his leap over the long oak table was impressive would not have done it justice. Mr. Weasley watched with interest as Lucius landed right behind him and Draco disappeared in fright out of the room entirely. Moody came in and saw Lucius who was trying to hide behind Mr. Weasley but Mr. Weasley helpfully moved out of the way.
"Oh I see you now laddie!" Moody roared pointing his wand at Lucius.
"Help someone help me!" Lucius cried out terror on his face. "He is mad!"
"And that is why he is called mad-eye." Tonks said rolling her two normal ones. "Not because of his magical eye, he is mad."
"Very." Fred said.
"Oh yea." George said.
"Come here boy I am gonna teach you a lesson." Mood roared.
Lucius ran from the room and Narcissa could not help but laugh, she collapsed against the sideboard laughing so hard Draco came out of hiding. Everyone looked at her, did she want her husband killed? Meanwhile Lucius was being chased through his own manor by a very un-bored Moody. It was amazing how fast he was considering he had one good leg and a wooden other leg. Finally after about half an hour Lucius ran back into his dining room and Moody cornered him. Whimpering Lucius held out his wand to defend himself.
"Don't make me duel you!" Lucius said.
"Oh as if you could win." Harry said. "Let him get it over with, I think he is bored."
"Arthur for the love of God help me!" Lucius said.
"You know for such a rich wizard Lucius you are not very bright." Mr. Weasley said. "Do I look stupid to you?"
"Someone help me!" Lucius said. "He is going to kill me!"
He saw a break and made a run for it but did not get far, but it was not Moody who stopped him, it was Mrs. Weasley who had been in the kitchens talking to the house elves and sharing recipes with them, Lucius coward in fear, between Moody and Mrs. Weasley he did not know who he feared most at that moment. Fred and George were watching this intently, well everyone was now. Even Hermione had broken away from her knitting to watch what was going to happen. Draco was by his mother who was trying so hard not to laugh as she was having a beautiful day now. Mrs. Weasley had her wand out now and she looked fierce.
"May I ask what is going on?" She asked looking at Moody.
"Ma'am he is trying to kill me!" Lucius said.
"Oh come on Molly I was just having a bit of fun." Moody said. "I cannot help it if I want to have a talk with Lucius and he takes it the wrong way."
"You stuck your wand in my face!" Lucius said. "You were going to….."
"I see." Mrs. Weasley said softly.
"Oho,." George said.
"Here it comes." Fred said.
"Oh no." Bill and Ron said at the same time.
"So Alastor you thought that it was fine to disturb the peace and quiet of this day why?" Mrs. Weasley said her voice raised slightly.
"Um I was bored?" Moody said.
"You were bored." Mrs. Weasley said and the twins went for cover as did most of the people around the table, all but Harry, Sirius and Mr. Weasley. "YOU WERE BORED SO YOU HAD TO CHASE LUCIUS AROUND THE HOUSE AND DESTRIB THE DAY? IS IT NOT BAD ENOUGH WE JUST GOT OVER A WAR AND YOU HAD TO DO THIS?"
By this time everyone had cleared out of the room, and Lucius stood in his entry hall looking a bit calmer now, he buttoned his shirt and strode into his drawing room the rest following him. He poured out a large glass of firewhisky and downed it in one gulp and offered a shot to Mr. Weasley. Finally Mrs. Weasley was done and the meeting went on again. Moody was sitting looking pleased but he did not do anything to Lucius for six months, and it was winter. Once more he was bored and found the master of the manor in his study napping by the fire, clad in warm robes and boots. Moody walked up, got close to the other man's ear and woke him up. Lucius saw him and once more a very girly scream was heard through the manor house….