Title: For Everything There Is A Season

Author: Half-Human

Summary: post "Didn't We Almost Have It All." After the wedding drama, Derek makes some realizations. Addison/Derek/Pete.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously. This is Shonda-land property, I'm just borrowing for entertainment. Title and Chapter titles/section headings are from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

A/N: I put my Challenges piece aside and my others. Just wanted to post this :P Please R/R and enjoy!

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For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born

Laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, Derek contemplated the events of the night. After the wedding fiasco, he left the chapel and went straight to his trailer. He had run into Richard earlier at the hospital, only to find out that he and Adele were giving it another go-- trying. Actually trying. He missed having someone there for him all the time and he missed not having to fight for a relationship. As he thought about his efforts with Meredith, his mind drifted off to what Richard had told him earlier,

"But remember Derek, that was your problem, you never fought, you were never there, and now you find yourself in Addison's shoes, fighting, struggling, just as she was. Karma Derek, Karma."

Derek rolled over on his side and tried to push back all the words his mentor had told him.

Had he really behaved just as Meredith? Was he that dismissive and unmindful?

"Derek, don't you dare think yourself more innocent than Meredith, because she has reasons for being distant, unlike you. Meredith has lost two people in her life, and she herself went through a life-threatening ordeal. What was your excuse for being so absent when you were with Addison?" Richards's words echoed in Derek's ear. They continued to reverberate in his thoughts until he finally managed to get a couple of hours of sleep, which proved useless. In the morning he felt as tired he did the night before and he had work in two hours.

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Walking over to the small alcove where he'd brush his teeth and shave he let the hot water run until the mirror above the sink fogged up and his reflection disappeared.

"Where have I gone?" He asked out loud, still wondering about Richard, Meredith, and the events of his entire stay at Seattle. His sisters had warned him, his mother had suggested it, and Richard just told him it would pass. Derek thought they all turned against him and he ignored them. It wasn't until yesterday that Derek finally realized that they were true. He lifted a finger and traced in the fogged mirror:

Midlife Crisis

Midlife crisis. The words which Derek hated hearing finally seemed to hold so much truth. Looking back at his rash decision to move out West and buy some trailer in the middle of the woods, 'midlife crisis' seemed to sum up his behavior accurately. His relationship with Meredith was even more of an indication.

"What have I done?" he said, as if finally awaking after a long and dreadful slumber. More than a year had gone by. A year, and he had completely changed his life. He grew out his hair and he started dating a young woman. He was a rebel in a sense, but he couldn't help to think of all that he lost.

"Addison," he whispered, suddenly thinking of his ex wife and how he had driven her out of his life. He walked over to his bed and plopped himself down. Slumped over and reviewing all the events of the past year and a half, he kept thinking of his family and what they had to put up with. His thoughts returned to his best friend, the one person he thought was the love of his life, and he suddenly felt guilty. "Addie," he repeated, raking his hands through his hair and cursing himself. "What have I done?"

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A/N: I know, short, but there's more. Ok, so I want Addek back or at least some Pete/Addison or Derek-jealous drama. I'm excited about Private Practice, but depressed Dempsey needs to guest star in PP or something b/c I need some serious closure w/ Adds and Derek.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Please R/R

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