This is my absolute first fanfic ever, and I aim to please. I truly have no idea whether this is trash, or at least moderately decent. I'm saying right now, I guarantee it'll be quite fluffy, I loathe unnecessary character deaths. I'm writing what I would want to see in a FF, no more no less. Please, please please let me know. Thanks! Onward!

It's all Fred and George Bloody Weasley's fault. Who else could manage to mess everything up so fast that I had no idea what happened. Bloody twins. I swear, they do everything in their power to convolute. You must be thinking, "Oh, that must be it: Hermione Granger has finally gone bloody nutters." NO, I have not gone nutters, thank you very much.Let me explain. It all started... Bloody Hell, I have no idea. it's all happened so quickly!

I'm an writer at a magazine,called Eunomia. I'm assistant editor, so I mostly write whatever tickles my fancy, but if there's something that needs to be written about, and no one else wants it,it goes to wonderful, dependable Hermione. Jolly good. The rest of the time, I'm getting tramped over. No, that's not true, I do love my work, and it doesn't hurt that one of my closest friends, Cho Chang, is Editor-in-Chief. Yes, I know, talk about a surprise friendship, but once I started as a fact checker/test subject for beauty products, she surprised me by taking me out to lunch, and then a night on the town. She's truly a wonderful person, and it's because of her that I am where I am. She's also the one who's responsible from my semi-transformation from the know-it-all, to the socialish, prettyish, wealthyish person that I am today. I adore her, and I suppose she could be called my best friend. At the moment, she is currently dating Adrian Pucey, ex-Slytherin. Match made in hell? No, not as you'd think. Cho's devious side goes very well with Adrian's suaveness. Is that even a word? Whatever, they still make a damn good-looking couple.

What of everyone else? Harry, unsurprisingly enough, is married to Ginny

Weasley, and they they have been married for 6 years. They dated for quite a while after Ginny graduated. Harry is an auror who also plays Quidditch with the Wimbourne Wasps, much to Ron's chagrin. Now that Voldemort is gone, there's not as much necessity for aurors. They are on their 7th, SHITE, 7th child. I guess constantly being on a broomstick doesn't slow down... never mind. Stupid Myths. Anyways, their names are: Sirius and James (twins), Lucy, Oliver, and then Emma, Eleanor, and Eloise (The triplets). Oh Merlin, my biological clock is ticking. Oh Merlin, I'm starting to think about my biological clock. Whatever... I'll find a man... eventually. Maybe. I'm the Godmother of every single one of those monst- I mean, wonderful, beautiful children.

RON! Ron is currently attached at the mouth to none other than Neville Longbottom. I can't say that any of us were surprised, and we're all thrilled that he finally admitted it to himself. Molly wasn't to thrilled at the idea of missing out on more grandchildren, but I say that Harry and Ginny are easing her worries quite nicely.

Percy is dead to all Weasley's. Nothing more to it.

Charlie actually found himself the sweetest girl I could possibly think of for him. Her name is Madeleine Chevalier, absolutely gorgeous, and the best collection of handbags I've ever seen. They are engaged, but are in no rush to marry. I simply must ask her if I can borrow her Chloè bag for going out. Focus Hermione!

Bill is happily married to Fleur for my goodness, 10 swift years and they are on their 3rd child, who's names are Celeste, Amelie, and Aidan. I promise you, no one can pop out babies quite like Ginny and Harry.

Remus and Tonks are now engaged, and the marriage will be coming up shortly. We hope. Last time she said that, Tonks turned herself into a Fleur, attempted to seduce Bill, and got herself chased down by half the village locals. There were 4 people in the household not to muck around with that weekend. Her fear of commitment is really quite disturbing. It isn't that she doesn't love him, it's that she's too independent for her own good, and Remus understands the need for freedom as no one else could.

Severus died fighting for our side, and his Order of Merlin, First class, went to his widow, Luna Lovegood. Yes, Loony Luna. It was an odd couple, but they were so in love, it was beautiful. It was heartbreaking to be around Luna after Severus dies. He was a good man. He killed Dumbledore to protect everyone, it was an agreement that the two of them had. I believe they signed a wizarding oath.

Oh, I almost forgot my two favorite guys in the world! Blaise Zabini, and Draco Malfoy. Ahh, Draco has not lost his sluttish tendencies, while Blaise is a little more of a homebody. They're not exclusive to each other, but my guess is that they will be soon. It's quite apparent that they love each other on many levels.They've told me many times that the only girl they would ever go straight for was me. Both of them. Together. I admit, I've gone to them. Once. Twice. Every other weekend for 6 years. What, you thought I'd be a virgin at 27? Not bloody likely, I'll tell you that much. God help me, they are excellent at the art of love. Blaise is probably the best guy friend a girl could ask for, and Draco always knows just how to make me feel like I'm dead sexy. I couldn't ask for better friends, not possibly. Oh, my god, even my sex life is routine.

At last, we come to those damn twins... Fred and George. Joke store owners,Uncles, husbands, and the banes of my existence. They now own 4 Weasley's
Wizarding Wheezes, including one is Transylvania, where they apparently make a roaring trade on Blood Lollipops that are apparently better than those at
Honeydukes. I wouldn't know, I just go there for the never ending Chocolate Bar. 8 galleons, but I tell you, worth every knut. They are married to Alicia Spinnet(Fred) and Katie Bell(George). Those poor girls. Although, I hear sex with a Weasley is phenomenal ... Anyways, it's entirely, or at least mostly, their fault as to why life has been so painful recently. It all started when...

I know, this was more of an introductory chapter, but I swear on my dead Parakeet Sky's grave that this FF will only get better. Hermione has gotten a little bit more used to her skin, she's in no way perfect, but she has some charm. She needs a little bit of change in her life, and it's up to Fred and George to deliver, as we know they will. It'll only get better. Keep reading and review. I'll love you if you do :! Pleaaaaase?