"H-honoka-chan... It's getting late, shouldn't we go home-"
"Come on, Umi-chan! We still have some time!"
"B-but... With Kotori-chan not here..."
"Mmm, it does suck that she couldn't play with us today... But still Umi-chan, we can play hide and seek before we go home right?!"
Every word of reasoning that I tried to give this cheerful orange haired girl just flew by her, she just stood in front of me with a large grin.
Kousaka Honoka, she was a girl that I suddenly met when she and her friends were playing tag. I was a shy girl, who was always by herself because I didn't have the courage to make friends. Then one day, this orange haired color girl, who was a drastic contrast of myself, suddenly approached me...
"What are they doing?..."
For I was a meek child, I hid myself behind a large tree as I awed at a group of girls playing tag with one another.
I knew it was weird, to spy on them like this. But as I continued to overlook their game of tag, I couldn't help but think that it would be fun to play with them.
As I meekly shook my head, small tears started to form in my eyes,
"I-I can't though... I've tried many times to make friends but... I just run away all the time."
I didn't know why, but I was a very shy girl. I wondered if it was because of the way I was raised? To be a responsible, mature, and to be a girl worthy enough of the Sonoda name. But I was none of those things...
"Even mother and father are starting to get worried for me..."
I always hated it whenever my parents asked me if I made any friends yet, for whenever I answered them that I haven't, their worry for me was shrouded with pity.
I didn't hate them for it, more like their pity was motivation for me, motivation to try to make friends.
As I continued to gaze at the group of girls playing tag from behind the cover of the large tree, I did a small sigh,
"I-it's impossible..."
Even if I tried so hard to tell myself, "Today is the day I'll make friends!"
It was impossible for someone like me, since look at me now, I was hiding. All I needed to do was approach them and ask If I could play with them, but to me that was the most impossible task for me to do right now.
The small tears that formed in my eyes started flowing down from my face, they were meek tears of frustration,
"I hate being like this..."
I wish I could change, why did I need to be so shy and scared? If I continued to be like this, I will never be worthy of the Sonoda name..
"Hey!"
I then hear someone shouting to me, pulling me from my dark state of mind. The voice sounded to be of a girl that was my age.
Could it be one of the girls that were playing tag?...
Oh no... Someone saw me... Now they're thinking I'm some creep!...
This was the worst possible outcome yet, because when you want to make friends, the last thing you want the person to think is that you're some weirdo.
Quickly hiding myself behind the large tree, hoping that the girl who noticed me wouldn't find me, I covered my head in fear, hoping that they would forget about me, but as my teary eyes were staring down at the ground in fear, I felt the presence of someone standing in front of me,
"What's your name?! Mine's Kousaka Honoka!"
Turning my gaze from the ground to the source of the voice, I knew it had to be the girl that noticed me spying on them while they were playing tag with there friends, since I recognized their voice when they called out to me.
She was the same age as me, a girl that had bright orange hair tied up in a right side ponytail with a pink ribbon, her eyes were a bright blue that they were almost like gems compared to my amber colored eyes.
She stood there looking at me with a big smile. I knew that she meant no harm but in all honesty, all my anxiety from being found out brought one simple thought,
"SAVE ME~~~~~~ I'M GOING TO BE BULLIED!"
Sure many people wouldn't have come down to that conclusion, but I was a child, and a meek one at that, with no friends. And my cynical belief was that whenever a person approached someone like me, it had to involve bullying.
I wanted to run away, but I had no means of escape, this cheerful looking orange head just continued to stand in front of me.
I cowered in fear, awaiting for the name calling, but as I continued to cower in my meaningless fear, I felt her hand extend towards me,
"Do you want to play with us!?"
"Huh?..."
She just did a cheerful smirk at me, I was surprised by her actions, instead of bullying me, the action that I so much believed that would happen in this situation, she asked me to play with her?...
"You're it!"
As she poked me with her index finger, she ran from me, as she started a new game of tag with me being "it",
"Huh?..."
I was at a loss, I just simply stood there frozen, in shock. Shocked by how fast paced this girl was, she asked for my name, then she asked me if I wanted to play tag, and then suddenly decided by herself to make me play tag without me agreeing and without me giving my name back to her?...
"I KNEW IT! I WAS BEING BULLIED!"
I cried many tears of despair, this was it, this was the moment that told me it was impossible for someone like me to make friends, all my hard work was all for naught, fate itself showed me that I couldn't make friends.
As I continued to cry, I then hear someone running up towards me,
"Hey! Are you OK?! Did I do something?!"
It was that orange haired girl again, Kousaka Honoka, she looked at me with her sapphire colored eyes in worry,
Why does she look worried?... Wasn't she bullying me?...
"Oh! I forgot to get your name and asked if you wanted to play with us! Sorry!..."
The orange head scratched her head in embarrassment while doing a small chuckle,
I had many thoughts flowing through my mind in this moment, many ways that I wanted to respond to her. But the only way that I could right now was with a tiny giggle,
"Sonoda Umi..."
"Eh?"
"My name... Sonoda Umi..."
As I did a meek smile at Kousaka Honoka, I was happy that she wasn't actually bullying me but really did want to play with me...
"Ohh! Umi-chan!"
"EH?!"
SHE'S CALLING ME BY MY FIRST NAME RIGHT OFF THE BAT?! How impolite! I would be scolded by my parents if I ever did that!
"Oh? You don't like it if I call you that?"
Kousaka Honoka looked down with disappointment, knowing that she did something that I didn't like.
In Japanese culture, calling someone by their first name signified that you were close to one another, calling someone by their given name without having a close relationship was rude, I was taught this by my family, but was Kousaka Honoka taught this as well?...
She looked really guilty when she realized that I was shocked when she suddenly called me by my first name, so maybe she was taught about it but she was what some people call, a "My Pace" sort of person.
"My Pace" people as the name suggests, were people who followed their own thoughts rather than others, sure many would call them selfish, and reckless type of people but many also say that they are determined, never giving up until they accomplished their goal.
I continued to gaze at the guilt filled Kousaka Honoka, having a gist of her personality, she was the polar opposite of me, someone that I would never imagine talking to or being approached by.
So why did she even approach me? I did know that she wasn't here to bully me, she just asked me to play with her, but still...
"Why me?..."
"Eh?"
In a meek voice, I let out the question that was in my head all along,
"Why play with me?..."
Kousaka Honoka gazed at me with confusion as I brought my gaze down to the orange colored earth that was colored orange from the evening sun, clarifying my question, I was confused. Confused to why someone like her would suddenly want to play with someone like me?
I was shy, weak, a coward. and even if we did play tag I would never be able to catch anyone...
Small tears started forming in my eyes from my thoughts, from her shadow I then see that Kousaka Honoka was thinking.
"Hmm... Why huh?..."
The tears in my eyes started to become larger, I knew it, It was hopeless. Even if this was my chance to become friends with someone, I ruined it because of the person I was...
"Oh! I know! Because you looked like you wanted to play!"
In that moment, I turned my gaze to her, she was doing a cheerful smile, certain that her answer was correct, I just giggled from her expression,
"EH?! Was I wrong?!"
Wiping my tears, I shake my head at her, "No... You were right... Honoka-chan..."
As soon as she heard me call her by her first name, her cheeks became flushed with red, she then did a cheerful smirk at me.
I CALLED HER BY HER FIRST NAME!
I knew that if my parents saw me right now they would have scolded me, but they weren't here... So I didn't need to worry... Sure I was embarrassed and almost wanted to cry from how embarrassing it was to call her by her first name but...
"You're it..."
With a small smile, I poked Honoka with my index finger, Honoka surprised, finally realized that she was tagged again,
"Whoa! Umi-chan! I didn't know you were so good at tag!"
Shaking my head meekly at the surprised Honoka, I do a small smile at her,
"You're just too easy to catch..."
And that's how I became friends with the "My Pace" Kousaka Honoka, a girl my age who was the polar opposite of me. I also made friends with a girl named, Minami Kotori, who always seemed to like being around Honoka, signifying that the two have been friends longer than me. Sure I was intimidated by their relationship, but the instant she saw me, she became friends with me too, so I guess becoming friends with Kousaka Honoka really did bring many good things.
"Muu~ Come on, Umi-chan!"
As Honoka continued to pester me to play hide and seek with just the two of us, I honestly wanted to yell at her "No!" but knowing my shy demeanor, I just couldn't suddenly shout that out...
"I-I already told you... It's getting late, we should be going home now-"
"Just one tiny game! I know you're really good at playing anything Umi-chan!"
That's because you're way too easy to play with...
I knew I couldn't say that aloud, since I would break Honoka's pride, her pride of believing that she was good at everything, which she was, only if she put all her effort into it.
Usually with games though, she would just have mindless fun, which was fun, but It was tiring whenever she pestered me or Kotori to play with her over and over again.
Doing a small sigh, I knew I couldn't reason with her.
So, hoping that my belief that she was really too easy to play with , I finally give in to Honoka's plead to play a short game of hide and seek.
"F-fine... But you better promise that this will be a short game, OK?..."
"Oh! No need to worry! I'll make sure that you can find me easily, Umi-chan!"
As Honoka grinned at me me with a thumbs up, I did a small sigh. Walking up to a large tree, and turning my face to it, closing my eyes. I started counting down from ten to start our game of hide and seek,
"10... 9... 8... 7..."
As I was counting down from ten, I could hear Honoka running from the area, quickly looking for a place to hide,
"6... 5... 4... 3..."
She always chose the most obvious places to hide, so usually anybody would be able to find her within the first few minutes, so the reason why I decided to play this game of hide and seek with her despite it almost being time for us to return home. Was because I knew I could find her quickly.
"2.. 1.. R-ready or not... Here I come..."
Turning my face from the tree to the orange colored forest, our short game of hide and seek started. As I walked to the first obvious place Honoka might have been hiding, I walked towards a small bush, bushes were places that Honoka would always hide, believing that they were the last place anyone would look due to how obvious it was.
"H-Honoka-chan?"
Moving the leaves away with my hands, I didn't see her orange hair, or the light pink shirt she was wearing,
Doing a small frown of disappointment, I was hoping that we could finish this game right away, because I would hate it if my parents scolded me for not coming home by curfew. Since they would blame my friends being the reason why I wasn't on time and I wouldn't be able to go out anymore.
I then decided to look at another hiding spot that she would usually choose, walking towards the tree were I counted down, I looked up towards the branches,
"Honoka-chan, a-are you there?..."
No response was given to me. Honoka also liked hiding at the last place people would look, the place were the game began, she usually climbed up the tree quickly, hoping that no one would find her, but to her dismay, her snickering usually got her caught.
I knew she wasn't there, because Honoka would usually poke her head out from the tree, surprised that I could find her at the last place she thought anybody would look.
"Where is she?..."
Now I was starting to get worried, usually I would find her right away, but I didn't.
This wouldn't have been a problem if it was still early, but the evening sun was about to set, it was getting dark, and it was almost time for my curfew.
Tears of frustration started forming in my eyes,
"Geez! Why am I even her friend?! All she does is get me in trouble!"
I cried out in frustration, I shouted in a voice which was so unfitting of my character. But I couldn't help it... Being friends with Honoka had it's risks, and I would always have to deal with the trouble that came along with those troubles.
"B-but this is..."
It was too much trouble for this day, I would have found her within mere minutes.
"I told her just one short game but why..."
Did she lie to me?... Did I do something to her that made her mad?...
Just that thought was enough to make me have the thoughts of, "I guess we really aren't friends." And if we weren't really friends, I could just go home right now, leave her here and spare myself some harsh scolding from my parents...
Shaking my head and slapping my cheeks to ignore the thoughts I had, I clutch my fist, trying my best to hold back my negative emotions.
"I just can't leave her..."
As I gazed at the orange shaded trees that were colored from the setting sun. Even if, maybe if I did something to make her angry that made us stop being friends with each other anymore...
"I have to go find her, because she's my friend."
Putting on a brave front, I was really scared to be honest, what if she already went home and I would be left looking for her in the dark?
"GEEZ! HONOKA-CHAN, YOU BIG IDIOT!"
I then run into the small forest that Honoka could be in with all my bravery, despite shaking down to my legs, I needed to find her, I needed to do it before the sun set and nightfall came.
"Honoka-chan!"
I was no longer playing hide and seek with her, I was actually looking for her, because no longer the thought of being scolded by my parents for not coming home right on curfew bothered me, it was because I needed to find Honoka before it got dark, and prevent the both of us having to go home at such a dangerous time.
"Honoka-chan!? Where are you?!"
My shout became more worried as the sun started diving more into the horizon.
Why was she doing this? Did she get lost?
We did play a game of hide and seek in a small forest that was beside the park we would usually play at, but suddenly the realization of the possibility if the sun set and it was night fall... I would have to look for her in a dark forest...
"NOOOOO!"
I fell to my knees, sobbing in fear. The thought of looking for someone alone in a dark forest brought about many horrors from my imagination.
"W-what if... A monster or a bad man gets me..."
Monsters were probably a less likely outcome, but a bad man was the most likely outcome to happen. Since I was a child, and who knew if some random person found me and offered to help me but in reality actually wanted to kidnap me?...
"I WANT TO GO HOME!"
My fearful cries only became stronger, I knew it, this was a bad idea. I should have never thought someone like me could be brave, look what happened. I ended up putting myself in a worse situation than I was before hand.
"Well... At least I won't have to get scolded by my parents..."
I didn't know if that was a good reason to be relieved by or a terrible reason to. All I knew being scolded by my father and mother was better than potentially being attacked by some forest monster or being kidnapped by a bad person...
"STUPID HONOKA-CHAN!"
I knew that it was my fault for giving in to Honoka's pestering, but I couldn't refuse. Since what would happen if I did?... Would she no longer think of me as a friend?...
"It's my fault... Not Honoka-chan's..."
My fear was the reason why all of this happened, if I wasn't scared of saying "No" to playing hide and seek with her and making her go home, this wouldn't have happened.
My tears of fear then became tears of frustration, I was so frustrated with the person I was, sure it was a big step for me being able to become friends with Honoka and Kotori but that wasn't enough...
"I hate being like this... I want to change..."
I so wanted to stop being the meek fearful girl I was, if I wasn't, I could be worthy of the Sonoda family name, make more friends, and stop putting myself in situations like these...
Amidst my thoughts of self-loathing, I hear someone making small sniffles,
"Huh?..."
The sniffling wasn't audible enough for me to make out who it belonged to, but I followed the direction it was coming from,
"Hello?..."
The sniffling led me to a tree, covered with many bushes, as I called out to the person making them, I then feel the presence of somebody sitting beside me,
"Honoka-chan?..."
"Umi-chan?"
I then see that it's Honoka, as soon as she sees that it was me calling out to her, she wipes her eyes with her arms quickly, probably trying to cover up tears that she cried before.
"You found me?... Wow! Good job! I knew you were good at this, Umi-chan!"
Sure, I would have been relieved that I finally found her, after looking for a long period of time, but my response to her cheerful grin was a different outcome...
"HONOKA, DO SEIZA!"
"EH?! UMI-CHAN?!"
Honoka was shocked, shocked to see my sudden change in personality, my voice was so loud, that birds who were resting among the trees flew away into the horizon, I just stood in front of Honoka with my arms crossed, while my gaze at her grew in anger,
"HONOKA, I TOLD YOU TO DO SEIZA!"
Seiza was an action in Japanese culture, were the one that was told to do it had to sit in the traditional Japanese form, it was a way of showing discipline towards the one that told you to do it.
"WHY?!"
"YOU HEARD ME! DO IT NOW!"
Honoka was shocked by my loud voice, she almost looked like she was shivering in fear, but with a small pout she finally does seiza.
"Honoka-chan, you told me that this was going to be a short game of hide and seek, now look what time it is!"
"Maybe you didn't look hard enou-"
"HONOKA."
"Yes Umi-chan..."
As I glared at Honoka in rage, Honoka put her head down, gazing at the forest floor while pouting,
"Now tell me, why did you decide to hide in a place like this?! You knew I told you this had to be a short game! Don't tell me you got lost!?"
Honoka suddenly shook, almost signifying that I hit the bulls eye, shaking her head frantically to save her pride she tries to convince me,
"I didn't! Maybe you got lost Umi-chan!"
My expression only became darker in rage. I can't believe this girl! Trying so hard to save her skin just so that she wouldn't have to admit doing something so embarrassing for her.
"DON'T PLAY THAT GAME WITH ME! I HEARD YOU CRYING!"
"I WASN'T CRYING!"
Honoka's eyes looked like they started to get more watery than they already were.
Was I going too far? But she needed someone to lecture her! I can't let her just get away with this- Ah...
I then realize that from my actions so far, that this could risk the friendship me and Honoka had.
As I gazed at a watery eyed Honoka, I knew from the way I was yelling and lecturing her, this is something that no friend would do, my rage then became full disappointment.
"I'm sorry..."
"Umi-chan?..."
I could have just found her and end this game of hide and seek and head home, but now I was prolonging the time we were out and what's worst, I was lecturing Honoka, something that no friend would do...
"I'm sorry for yelling at you like that... If you want to stop being friends that's fine..."
My hands were shaking in fear, tears started flowing from my eyes. I knew that from all my actions, this was the end of our friendship...
I knew it... It was impossible for someone like me to make friends-
"Eh?! What are you saying Umi-chan!? I'll never stop being your friend!"
"Eh?..."
As Honoka did a small chuckle at me while scratching her head in embarrassment,
"I know, I'm sorry! I totally deserved being yelled by you... It was my fault for not listening to you in the first place, and thinking about your curfew..."
Even if Honoka was chuckling, I knew that she felt guilty, but her statement, that she'll never stop being friends with me, formed a large smile on my face,
"Yes, it's your fault! Now you're going to have to walk me all the way home and explain to my parents the reason why I came home past curfew!"
"Eh?! No! Umi-chan please don't be like that!..."
As Honoka wrapped her arms around me, begging like child to their mother to do something they wanted, I just continue to cross my arms, not budging at all,
"Nope! This is your punishment for not listening!"
"Muu~ Umi-chan you meanie!"
As the orange head pouted at me as she continued to hang onto me, I just started giggling.
We were two polar opposites of each other, two people who no one would ever expect to become friends. You could say that Honoka was the one that practically forced me into becoming her friend, but she didn't... I agreed to become friends with her, despite the many troubles and dangers it brought from becoming her friend the reason why I could put up with all of that was because... I believed being her friend would change me into the person I wanted to be...