Dan was scared. He didn't know how to feel, exactly. Tonight was going to be special. Something nether him or Phil would ever forget. This could be a flop in so many ways. Phil could be seeing someone else. He might not even be gay. But that couldn't be possible. Phil told him that he was gay, many months before. Dan shook as he fixed his bowtie and buttoned his shirt. Tonight, Dan was going to tell Phil how much he loved him. Even if it meant destroying everything they had together in the first place. But he had to do it. He couldn't hold it in anymore.
They were going out to dinner with PJ and Chris. Then afterword, he was going to bring Phil to the park, just the two of them. Then he would tell him.
He didn't want to think about it anymore. He would get to scared and chicken out. He just wanted to get it over with.
"You ready Dan?" Phil peaked through Dan's open door. Dan jumped a bit at the sound of Phil's voice, just thinking of him.
"Yeah, almost." Dan said. He walked over to his bed and sat down. He took his shoes and started to put them on.
"You ok?" Phil asked with concern in his voice. "Yeah, I'm fine." Dan said, trying to act as natural as possible. "What makes you said that?" Dan asked in return. "I don't know, you've just been acting strange lately." Dan looked confused. "Like when?"
"Well…" Dan gave him a curiose look. "You didn't yell at me when I eat your cereal yesterday." Dan laughed. "Thats what you consider to be strange?" He sinckered again. "Phil, maybe I was just trying to be nice and not yell at my boy-" Dan stopped before he could say anything more. But continued quickly. "Best friend." Phil laughed and walked out of the room. "I'll wait for you in the lounge!" He yelled from across the hall. Dan quickly closed his door and sank to the ground. That was to close. He almost called Phil his boyfriend. If he sliped up like that again before he told him, it would be bad. Dan, instead of crying or having a melt down, he started laughing. He remembered that this was just Phil. Adorable little Phil. He shouldn't be this scared. If he did get rejected, they'll just forget that this ever happened.
They arrived at the restaurant at about 8:30. PJ and Chris had gotten there slightly before Dan and Phil did and reserved a table. Phil spotted them quickly and proceeded to sit down. As for Dan, he quickly told Phil, "I'll catch up with you in just a second." Phil nodded and sat down with PJ and Chris. Dan ran to the bathroom. He proceeded to just stare into the mirror. He ran his fingers through his hair and felt he was starting to sweat. Why was he so nervous? He wasn't going to tell Phil until a few hours later. Dan took a big breath and looked into the mirror one final time, and walked out.
Dinner went by in a flash. The four boys laughed and talked about video games, youtube stuff. Even their love lives. Thankfully, Dan was able to stay alive during those few minutes of silents.
Before they left, Dan decided to use the bathroom one last time. He entered, walked up to one of the mirrors, fixed his bow tie, had a quick fringe check, and turned around to see PJ, staring at him.
"When are you going to bite the bullet man?" said PJ. "What the hell are you talking about?" Dan said in return. "I can tell how much you love Phil." PJ said with a smirk. "What makes you say that?" said Dan, clearly petrified. "Well let me just start with the venue. You seriously think that this was just a casual diner with your friends." Dan just rolled his eyes and snickered. "So what. I just wanted to have a good time with my friends. Is that illegal?"
PJ just rolled his eyes back. "Phil told me about how you didn't yell at him yesterday. Never in a billion years would I ever hear of Dan Howell not yelling at Phil for an entire day-" Dan quickly interrupted. "Fine, fine, fine. I'm sorry." Dan was on the brink of tearing up. "I don't know what to say. I love him to much to ever want to ruin what we already have." PJ took a deep breath and put his arm on Dan's shoulder.
PJ looked deep into Dan's brown eyes. "Would you rather just tell him or have this giant weight on your chest the rest of your life?"
Dan took PJ's hand off of his shoulder. "Thanks" said Dan.
Dan and Phil arrived in the park around 10:00. They sat down at one of the benches. There was an awkward silents at first, but Phil broke the ice.
"Why are we here Dan?" Phil said with confusion on his face. Dan looked down at his shoes for a second, then back up at Phil.
"Theres something I need to tell you." Dan said slowly. "What is it Dan? You know you can tell me anything."
Dan looked down again. "This is something harder than I think you could understand."
Phil looked dumbfounded. "Why do you say that?"
"I don't know." Dan said.
"Well why did you take me here then?" Phil said will a little annoyance in his voice. Dan just looked down again. His heart was pounding out of his chest. Phil rolled his eyes and stood up.
"Well if your not going to trust me, then I guess theres no reason for me to be here at all!" Phil said. He started to walk away, when Dan grabbed his arm and stood up.
"Phil wait. I'm sorry." Phil just rolled his eyes again and tried to walk away, but Dan's grasp tightened on Phil's arm.
"I'm just-" Dan tried to speak but was to scared. "What is it Dan? You can tell me." Dan started to attempt to talk, but only small pieces were able to escape his mouth. "You're just- I'm so- I can't- You're to-" Dan wanted to keep talking but simply couldn't. He turned around and put his hands to his face. Phil attempted to talk to Dan.
"Dan-" Phil got cut off by Dan. He turned around with tears in his eyes. He looked up and down Phil's body and sealed his eyes on Phil's lips. Phil attempted to talk again, but was cut off by Dan speed walking towards him and saying something, "Just, stand still."
Without another word or breath, he kissed him.
Dan's lips were shaking out of fear, but remained smooth and perfect while kissing Phil. A single tear ran down his cheek as Dan separated his lips from Phil's and murmured something.
"I'm sorry-" He was quickly cut off by Phil. "Shut up." Phil said. He pulled him in for another kiss.
This kiss lasted longer than before. They got lost in each other's love. Passionate, and incredible. Phil was the first to pull away, clearly not wanting to stop.
"I was always wondering when you were going to make the move." Dan giggled as both of them took their hands from each others wastes and shoulders. They started to walk towards the street, holding hands and laughing.
"Did you know I was into guys?" Dan asked curiously. "Of course I did." Phil said. He laughed again .They called a cab to bring them home and shortly arrived. Without speaking a word, they quickly ran into their bedrooms to change out of their tuxedos and into their pajamas. Then, separately, they went to bed.
Around 2:30 AM, Phil heard his door open. Dan walked in and crawled into Phil's bed with a slight grin on his face. Without any explanation, he laid down next to to Phil and whispered, "I love you AmazingPhil". Dan put his head on Phil's chest and put his arms around his torso before quickly falling asleep, leaving Phil awake. "I love you too." Phil rested his head on top of Dan's and put his arms around him. And the two fell asleep, breath by breath, wrapped in each other's arms.