Longing For Redemption
By Bakaness
Disclaimer/Warning: Not mine, nope nope… well… it's a POV…
Depression is like a dark wave that washes over you when you least expect it, enveloping you and dragging you down into it's depths without a chance to fight it, to claw your way into the light. It is all-consuming, all-powerful, a raging monster that eats away at the soul until there is nothing left.
And so I find myself drawn to you, to the light that surrounds you. You have that which I have longed for longer than I can remember. I am drawn to your inner peace like a moth to flame, but, unlike the moth, I fear the searing, purifying heat. And so I fight to stay away from you, to remain platonic, no matter the pain of my bleeding heart.
I know that you are the only one who can help me, but you scare me. Your inner light threatens to expose the shadowed corners of my spirit, bringing all my hidden demons to life. I fear they may overwhelm me – hacking at my soul like lumberjacks at a tree, wrenching my support from under me. If that happens, I would die. Maybe not physically, but all that is left of my withered being. Unless...
Unless... you were there to catch me, to keep me safe from myself. But that is more than I dare to hope, for I don't deserve salvation – I don't deserve you. I keep myself away from you, and I watch you from the shadows, longing for redemption.
Notes: It's Heero, just so there isn't any doubt. ;)