Yes, I should be in bed sleeping off this migraine, or working on Not All That Is Over Is Past, but after watching The Bucket List (a movie that everyone needs to watch) and listening to this song closing it off... I just had to type this up really quickly.
Disclaimer: Don't own Alex Rider (because if I did, he would've been in much more action and a lot less romance) or this song (because I can't sing worth shit) or anything else you might recognize. Except maybe your soul. ... But escaping the transition I'm attempting to do from this disclaimer to my Halloween cosplay as Crowley from Good Omens (NightmareWorld was Aziraphale!)...I give you the reason I never try to write one-shots or humor.
"Say" — lyrics owned by John Mayer
Alex ran through the narrow hall, with a sheen of sweat on his brow and the feel of lead in his chest, throbbing with a heavy thump in his ears. "You might be taking this a little too seriously, you ever thought of that?"
"I'll be the judge of that," a voice growled as he felt the tug of the long handmade rug being pulled out from beneath him. While he hadn't seen it coming, it didn't take him completely by surprise.
It was in his job description after all. Handling surprises, that is.
With a single graceful gesture, the teenager latched his fingers around a locked doorknob and swung through the fall. His feet touched lightly against a carpeted surface, and as they regained friction, his bare toes latched on to the fabric. He spun into a casual roll and wound up back on both feet like a spry cat. "Really, it was just—"
"Just nothing. You're a spy right?"
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations
There was a dead silence, followed by a thud loud enough to sound over his heartbeat.
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
What sort of ammunition was this guy holding? And of all the things…all the things that he had ever done, of all the missions he had done to earn the only perfect record in MI6, of all the incredibly stupid decisions he had made, and of all the crazy evils he had made those horrible judgement calls about, why was this one the one that was going to end him?
"And? How does that change things? Aren't you in the same profession?"
Booted footsteps clunked against the ground as he got up from his pajama striped knees and dived into a dark room. He took something from the ground—too light to be much more than a distraction, but that was all he needed at the moment—and swung it with a soft thump at the man entering the halo of the doorframe. The tall, dark-haired figure beat it off with barely a flick of his wrist. "Rider, I'm new to this job. How have you managed your sterling record if you can't even steal from me?"
"Hey!" he protested. "'Stole' is a strong word. And you can't honestly consider that little thing as—" Alex was cut off as a gloved hand grabbed his collar and dragged him up so the tips of his toes were barely skimming the ground. "I c-can't…"
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead
"Can't what?" he purred.
If you could only…say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Alex pulled the hands and collar away from his throat. "C-can't-t breathe!" The fists didn't even loosen until the teenager pulled his knees up and lashed them into the man's stomach. He curled his legs back up to his chest as he fell loose, tumbling with a small bounce back down to Earth. The shadow lurking over him faltered slightly.
Taking the opportunity presented to him, he grabbed a piece of cloth—a blanket—from what felt like a bed and whipped them over the tall man's head. It worked better than he could have hoped. When his attacker slipped and became entangled in the bed sheets, Alex leapt on to his back and jumped off towards the door. In doing so, he purposefully knocked the man's head back into the bed with a muffled 'oomph' as he made his escape.
The man, in his flowing trench coat and wet trousers, didn't miss a beat as he stuck a free leg out. The teenager tripped, but managed to slam the door shut behind him. With a flick of his finger, the bedroom was securely locked.
In the ominously quiet hallway, he raised his hands up behind his head as he fought to regain his breath and leaned against the off-white frame. A gust of air whipped through the house through the open door, forgotten and abandoned in their sudden scuffle. If it had been any colder, Alex expected that his breath would have been small puffs of mist in the just-above-freezing weather.
Unfortunately for him, the sudden cold breeze knocking the door back against its rusted hinges supplied cover for the steps of his approaching opposition. He didn't even realize what was happening until his hands were pinned to his back, his cheek roughly scraping against the bare floorboards, and the cold feel of steel was pressed against his neck. "You think that just because you're younger that I'll let you get away with such things? Under my own roof?"
He let out a nervous laugh. "I guess not."
"You guess not?" The metal was pushed harder against his neck. "I can assure you, spy boy, that this will be the last time you try to get away with these things. Any last words?"
Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
His heart dropped as he realized there was no escaping this. He had been living on luck for so long, and even his lady had run off on him in the end.
Even if your hands are shaking
If the blood hadn't been cut off to his wrists, his hands would have been trembling like a small earthquake.
And your faith is broken
He wondered if his father and uncle would still be proud of him, knowing how low he had sunk.
Even as the eyes are closing
Alex turned his head to better see the brunette using his knee to interlock his wrists—
Do it with a heart wide open
—and opened his mouth. "I'm sorry, but…"
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
"…I just couldn't wait for them to get into the oven. The cookie dough just looked so good, and I wanted a little taste."
"You took half the batter," Ben hissed. "Half of the batter. That's petty theft!"
"Petty theft?" The spoon against his neck let up as Alex flipped over to kick the spy's knees out. "I'd hate to meet the poor teenager who decides to toilet paper your house. You'll try to get them in the nearest penitentiary for attempted murder!"
"You stole my cookie dough! Chocolate chip cookie dough!"
"I think we need to reconsider this situation," the teenager muttered halfheartedly as the spoon dug painfully into his jugular again. And here he thought he was getting to bed early for once in his life.
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
"Oh yeah, I should probably mention that those cookies you had cooling on the counter… Well, I might've eaten those too."
This was one mission that Alex wasn't escaping in one piece.