Author's Note: As per Dailenna's advice, I decided to write a second draft of my fic "Right Here Waiting," because the changes in their decisions happened too fast. In the end, however, this fic was so different I didn't feel it should be called the same thing, so I made it be separate. Look at this as an alternate retelling, if you will.
"No."
He had come to her, arm completely blown off and leg so bashed in he could barely limp through the door. She had immediately knocked him on the head with a wrench, then set to work as soon as she had given him a spare leg to use in the meantime. It was just like always, as she focused on her work and shut out all else.
But at the same time it was different, so vastly different. This was the first time Winry Rockbell had had to do the job without her grandmother's comforting presence at her side. It felt wrong, somehow, to arrange the wires and weld the metal, then turn and see only empty air where her little granny should have been standing, pipe clutched between her teeth as she watched Winry work.
Winry tried to ignore the strangeness, but it seemed to pervade the entire house. Conversation around the table was scarce, but that was probably because it was just the two of them. She realized later that Al's absence should have alerted her that something was up, especially with the state Ed was in. Winry didn't like the strange silences that stretched between them, so she excused herself early and returned to her work at the back of the house. She didn't know what he did after that; she assumed he was probably reading, for there was little else he could do with one arm and a spare leg.
She pulled an all-nighter as usual; Ed hadn't said anything about needing to get back to Central in a hurry, but she assumed he did anyway. He always did. Especially if Al was waiting for him there. Thankfully, she didn't have to start everything completely from scratch; now that Ed had stopped growing, she always kept half-finished limbs on hand, so he could get them faster.
Last time he came here, she thought, he called me a life saver when I had his arm finished in a day.
Shortly after breakfast the next morning, she attached his automail and began the final adjustments. He lay silently on the operating table and let her do her work, not even complaining about the pain of the nerves attaching. She wondered at his strange silence, but didn't ask any questions. When he was ready, he would speak up, and it would be little use asking until he was.
She had finished his leg and had him lie on his stomach so she could adjust his shoulder when he finally spoke up. His left arm pillowed his head as he looked in the opposite direction from her – out the window, which sparkled with melting frost in the still-rising sun. "Winry," he said softly, voice barely above a whisper, "I love you."
Winry froze halfway through tightening a screw. She stared at the back of his head, at the long golden hair he had pulled over his left shoulder, out of the way. She felt her heartbeat quicken, but all thoughts seemed to be erased from her mind. She wasn't even sure what the emotion pumping through her veins was. Finally, she managed to find her voice. "I...I love you, too." She found her hand searching for a part of his back that wasn't covered in metal, and let it rest just between his shoulderblades. His skin was cool, and she realized it was slimy with sweat...but somehow, she didn't care.
It was immensely freeing to have finally said that. She had loved him for years, but had never told him, for one reason or another. Now that she had, it was like an enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt tears building up in her eyes, and when she blinked one fell with a ping! onto his metal shoulder.
Ed craned his neck around in surprise, but Winry smiled to show him that she was happy. With a peaceful little smile Winry didn't think she'd ever seen him use, Ed lay back down and continued gazing out the window. Winry hastily wiped her eyes and continued with her work.
When she told him in a soft voice that she was finished, she quickly turned away and busied herself with putting away her tools. Everything was different between them now. They had admitted it to each other, but now what? Winry wasn't sure. Was there something he expected her to do? Something she needed to say?
She was acutely aware of the sounds of him pulling his clothes on again, and she found a blush creeping up her neck. Her hands were rapidly running out of things to do, and soon she would have no excuses to keep her back turned to him. Part of her wished he would just leave the room so she could try to figure out how she was supposed to act around him now.
The rustling of clothes had stopped behind her, and now the tell-tale thump of his footsteps drew ever closer. They came to a stop behind her just as she snapped the lid of her toolbox shut. "Winry...." he said in a strange, choked voice, as if he needed to clear his throat.
Taking a steadying breath, she slowly turned around. Her eyes were drawn, not to his face, but to his left hand. Her blood pounded in her ears, till she wondered if she was going to faint. In his hand was a velvet box, opened to reveal the diamond ring inside. "Ed...."
"I...." Ed squeaked out. He mouthed soundlessly for a few moments, then seemed to give up and lowered himself onto one knee, refusing to look at her.
Winry found that she had to take several deep breaths; she had forgotten to breathe in the last few moments. With an immense effort, she gathered her wits about her; she took his hand in both of hers, shut the box, and curled his fingers around it.
"No."
He whipped his gaze back up to her, something akin to fear in his golden eyes.
Winry took another deep breath. "I...I'm tired, Ed. I need to sleep, and...and think about things. I want to make the right decision."
"Of course," Ed said quickly, rising again and shoving the box back into his pocket, cheeks flushed.
"Give me twenty-four hours," Winry said softly, and when Ed nodded she headed straight for the stairs, her heart still pounding because she knew Ed was watching her leave.
"No."
He had cornered her after breakfast that morning, not saying anything, lips pressed tightly together as if he was afraid he was going to be sick if he opened them. A desperate question hung in his eyes, but he kept the rest of his face studiously blank. Only his eyes and his automail fingers rubbing against each other with a metallic rasp betrayed his nervousness.
The constant srp...srp...srp of Ed's fingers distracted Winry, so she said abruptly, "Let's go for a walk." They pulled on their coats, and Winry wrapped her neck up in the last scarf her granny had knitted for her. It was a soft shade of lavender, one of Winry's favorite colors, and it still smelled like her granny. Only after the two of them had left the house and started to meander down the hill did Winry realize she had forgotten to wear gloves. She balled her hands into fists and shoved them into the pockets of her coat, watching her breath curl gracefully out into the crisp autumn air.
Neither of them spoke as they strolled aimlessly along, feet crunching through the brightly-colored leaves that littered the ground. The air should have been peaceful, as it usually was in Risenpool, but instead it was taut with a tense silence. Ed seemed loathe to break that silence, but Winry didn't want to either. She tried to stave off the moment when she would have to; she tried to pretend they were still nothing more than childhood friends. She tried to forget their confessions of the day before.
The two of them came to a stop on top of a little hill that overlooked a copse of trees coated with vibrant red and orange leaves. Winry could remember climbing in them when she and the Elric brothers had been small. She tried to concentrate on that image, but even as she concentrated harder, Ed broke their silence at last.
"Winry?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper. "What's...your answer?" It sounded as though he had been building up his courage to say these few words ever since they had left the house.
Winry closed her eyes and took a deep breath, knowing what she would have to say and hating herself for it. Then she opened them and said, her breath puffing out in a little cloud, "No."
"Wh-What?"
Winry glanced over at him; his face was white with...shock? Dismay? Winry turned her head away, mumbling into her scarf, "You heard me." Her heart was heavy, but she knew she had made the right choice. She had thought about it carefully every minute she had been awake since they had parted the day before, and her mind had seemed to carry on without her while she slept. She knew she had made the right choice.
So why did it feel so wrong?
The silence was back, but Winry refused to look at Ed. She was afraid that if she did, she might break. Finally, Ed's voice shattered the silence again. "You said you loved me," he said, sounding hurt and almost accusatory.
Winry pressed her lips tightly together and managed to whisper, "I do." She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push her tears back.
"Then why-" Ed began desperately, but then he checked himself. After a strained pause, he said softly, "It's because of me, isn't it? Winry, I...I've changed in the past five years, you know. I'm not the way I was when I was fifteen."
Winry let out a shrill peal of laughter that sounded nothing like her, accompanied by a wave of anger that covered up the pain in her heart. "Changed?! You haven't changed a bit! You're still a State Alchemist, charging all over the world and being a hero and not even coming back home for one day!" She turned swiftly to face him, her anger halting the tears about to be shed. "And then when you do come back, you don't even so much as call or tell me why your arm is in pieces!"
Ed frowned crossly. " It's not like I try to get hurt so I can make you worry; it's just part of my-"
Winry turned away again, resisting the urge to cover her ears. "Just stop."
"Stop what?"
"Stop...Stop saying those things. You're always saying something. Something to keep me right here, waiting for you to come back. And you always succeed. I'm always waiting for you, Edward Elric! But I'm not going to wait for you anymore."
"That's why you refused?" Ed sounded outraged. "Because of your emotions? Winry, love isn't about emotions; it's-"
"I know," Winry cut in bitterly, each word stinging her lips like acid. "Love means you're there for someone when they need you. But Ed, you're never there for me. You aren't there when I need you most; you weren't even there when Granny...." Her voice broke and she desperately wiped away the wetness forming underneath her eyes.
And he did nothing. He was silent, and he didn't even reach out to comfort her. She didn't turn to see his expression; she was afraid that if she did, she would regret her words. So she turned around, not looking at him, and began to crunch her way through the leaves back up to the house.
"Wait!" Ed called after her, his voice sounding choked and desperate. "Winry, please, I'm sure we can work this out."
His words brought Winry to a halt, and she spun back around to face him. "'We can work this out'?" she asked disbelievingly. "How would it ever work? Me staying here and you traipsing all over the place.... How could I know you didn't have a lover in Central or something? How could you be sure I hadn't just ditched you and run off with somebody else? You'd leave me right here, waiting for you, not even calling to tell me if you were alive or not, and then you'd show up one day when you needed repairs. And we'd be together for a few days, but then you'd leave again; you'd leave me all alone! Does that sound like a happy marriage to you?!"
"I...."
"Happy for you, maybe," Winry snapped, turning on her heel and stomping away. "I'm never going to marry someone like that!"
This time, he didn't call after her. Her anger only lasted her the rest of the way to the house. As soon as she had ripped off her coat and scarf, she found tears building up behind her eyes. With a sob, she raced up the stairs, slammed the door to her room, and threw herself onto her bed. And she cried as if her heart would break, because she knew it would as soon as he left.
She found him in his room, quietly packing his suitcase with his back to the door. She hadn't been hungry enough to eat breakfast that morning, and his appetite seemed to be absent as well, for there had been no dirty dishes in the sink when she had come down. She had known that his train left at noon, but she never could have anticipated how horrible that knowledge made her feel.
Winry wasn't sure what she had intended to say, but Ed began to talk instead, not pausing in his packing. "You know, Winry, you're right. I always make you wait for me, not even caring how that must make you feel. I say I love you, but then I just leave you here in the dark and the cold, all alone, waiting and waiting for me to come back. I never come to see you except when it's necessary; I never even call you just to tell you that I'm okay. I make you worry, and I make you wait, and...nothing I say is going to make up for that."
He paused, closing his suitcase and latching it. He remained kneeling in front of it, still refusing to look at her. "But...the truth is...I don't think I can live without you, Winry. I can see it's not going to work yet...but one day, it will. I'm not going to give you up. I'm going to be a better man, someone you can trust. I'm going to be there for you, until the day we can make it work. I'll call you every night. I'll come visit once a month. I'll do whatever it takes...."
He kept on talking, and Winry stared at the back of his head. The same conviction that had been in his voice when he had spoken of returning Al's body to him was there again, and he was talking about her. And then she realized that he was already becoming the man he was describing. She could trust him. She knew she could, because she had heard that conviction before, and she knew the result of it.
Winry came softly into the room, but Ed didn't notice. He was still talking, clutching the handle of his suitcase with both hands as if, somewhere deep down inside, he was terrified. Winry knelt down behind him and wrapped her arms around him. He stopped talking immediately and craned his neck around in surprise to look at her. She kissed his cheek, and he flushed bright red.
"Yes."