Pairing: Makoto/ Haruka

Rating: M

Warnings: Probably some grammatical errors; angst; suicide attempt; yaoi .

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Free! and never will I own it. If I did MakuHaru would have been canon.

Amor vincit omnia.

-Maria Z.

「Numquam periit amor.*」

That day had been a cold day and everything had been white. Unfortunately, that is the only thing he remembers. He remembers the shivering of his body, and not feeling his legs and hands due to the frostbite. But he doesn't remember anything else. Not only about that day, but about his whole, damn life. He doesn't know who he is anymore.

He only knows two names: Nanase Haruka and Tachibana Makoto.

His name is supposedly the first one, while Tachibana Makoto is the name of the person, who took him in, when he did not have any reason to live anymore. Makoto is a tall guy, with piercing green eyes and loves swimming. And he is so kind that the word kindness is not enough to describe him.

Makoto told him that they are best friends, that they've been best friends since they were little children. But he doesn't remember anything and it hurts him. A person who can't remember anything is worthless.

He does not want to live anymore. He does not need to live anymore.

A person like him is even worse than worthless.

That night Makoto was sleeping after an exhausting swimming practice at school, but Haruka could not sleep. Whenever he tried to close his eyes, he always dreamed of that deadly cold day, but in his nightmares no-one would come to save him. He silently stood up from the couch and went to the bathroom. Even though he did not know why, he knew that if he stood under the water, it would calm him down.

And so he got into the tub and turned on the hot water. It was definitely refreshing feeling the hot water run against his pale skin, but that couldn't stop the tears from falling from his azure eyes. He closed his eyes abruptly, just wanting to feel the watery mix of his salty tears and hot water running down his face.

After a while he stood up and searched the bathroom in order to find anything sharp enough to cut. And then he found it. It was a small razor, sharp enough to bring him to his death. So, he sat once again at the bottom of the tub and brought the razor against his left wrist, slicing it slightly. His eyes closed instinctively at the sudden cause of pain but he kept driving the razor deeper in his skin, causing even more blood to fall from his arm.

Then the bathroom door opened and Makoto rushed to his side, pushing the arm holding the razor away from his injured wrist, causing its fall.

"Ha…ru …what are you doing?"

Haruka did not answer and just stared blankly at him.

"Why do you want to take your life?"

Haruka clenched his fists, while feeling the anger overpowering his senses.

"Because a person like me, who does not remember a single thing is just worthless. Nobody needs someone like me. I can't help anybody, but at the same time I am in constant need of help from others. I am just a burden to this world. So why do you care so much?"

Makoto let a tear slip from his eye.

"Because you are my best friend."

"That is not enough reason. Especially, since I don't even remember being friends with you in the first place."

"I don't care about you not remembering our friendship. I just know that I nearly lost my senses when I saw your body lying on the snow and I don't want to ever feel like that again. And I am sure that you will soon remember everything."

"I won't. So it's better for me to just die here."

"But I won't be able to live without you."

Haruka snapped. "You are just overreacting! I can't possibly be that important to you."

"You mean the world to me!"

[…]

「Tu es meus mundus, omnis mea vita. Ego non possum sine te vivere, quod sine te nihil est vita.**」

[…]

"My life can't possibly be that important." Haruka only manages to whisper.

Blood was still uncontrollably flowing from his left wrist and his whole body began to shiver. That until he felt two strong arms around his now frail, quivering body. Haruka's eyes widened at the sudden, intimate touch.

"I don't care how many years it will take you to remember me. I can handle that pain. But I don't think I could ever keep on living if you died. I would be far too devastated if anything like that happened. I know this is selfish request but please, bear this pain."

Haruka raised his one arm and wiped off the tears falling from Makoto's eyes. The green-eyed man had not even realized that he had been crying.

"You don't have to cry for someone so useless like me."

"You are far from being useless, my Haru."

My Haru? What is he saying?

And with those words Makoto raised his hand, bringing it close to Haruka's face, cupping his soft, wet cheek, while bringing their faces closer, closing any possible distance between them. And then, with one plain movement he attacked Haruka's soft lips with his rougher ones. To that movement Haruka's eyes widened and his memories, which he thought he would never regain, came back to him, hitting him like a train.

With just one blink of the eye images of his whole life 'attacked' his brain, making him remember his deep and true love for no other but Makoto Tachibana. The one and only person he had ever loved with his whole heart. And he had forgotten this person. How could he forget him?

Pushing those thoughts for a little bit aside, he started kissing Makoto back. Passion, need and desperation were apparent in his lips's movements. Makoto's tongue licked his bottom lip asking for entrance and Haruka softly parted his lips granting him access.

And Makoto gladly accepted, sliding his tongue inside Haruka's hot mouth, tasting every curve of it, desperately wanting to remember the feeling of kissing him, to make him moan. Haruka's hands found their way around Makoto's neck, bringing them even closer, subconsciously trying to erase all the memories of the past few days. When Haru couldn't remember him. When Haru wanted to kill himself.

Haruka was the one to break the powerful kiss.

Once he caught his breath back, he said "How could I ever forget you…Makoto?"

Makoto brought a finger against his lips "Shh…it's okay…"

And with those last words he kissed him again, this time even more passionate, letting his tongue dance with Haruka's, battling for dominance. And as expected he would be the one to win.

He started planting kisses on Haruka's cheek, going all the way down to his neck, sucking on the pale skin, leaving love marks at his way, which screamed "mine" . Haruka's head fell back, while huffs and soft moans escaped his lips. Makoto started kissing his collarbone; licking his smooth skin, utterly intoxicated by it. Then he broke contact from Haruka's skin only to suck at his earlobe and whisper "Fuck, I missed you".

Makoto started taking Haruka's soaked T-Shirt off his body and so did Haruka, who was now caressing Makoto's body, trying to memorize every curve of it, never ever wanting to forget it again.

Haruka leaned in to kiss him once again whispering "I missed you too." And with those words he kissed him once again, his hands traveling against his well-build body. How could he forget about his breath-taking beauty. Because Makoto is beautiful in every single way and he will always be beautiful no matter what.

Makoto started taking of Haruka's boxers leaving him completely naked, his hardness apparent. His tongue started travelling against Haruka's chest, where he stopped in order to lightly bite his nipple, causing a soft sigh to escape from Haruka's lips. Makoto kept exploring Haruka's body with his tongue, teasing all the parts of his body that he knew they would make him squeal in bliss. When he reached his cock he planted a soft and teasing kiss upon his tip.

"Ngh… Stop teasing me, Makoto."

"With pleasure."

And with those words Makoto took it all inside his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, making Haruka's moans by each suck even louder. Haruka's trembling hands found their way to Makoto's boxers, which he started taking off.

Once they were off, he impatiently threw them away somewhere on the floor. Makoto stopped sucking, understanding the meaning behind Haruka's actions. He leaned closer to Haruka's face kissing him fervently, while sliding one finger inside him. Haruka's eyes closed even tighter at the sudden intimate touch, but soon he adjusted to the finger moving in and out of him.

Once three fingers were inside him, he realized he couldn't take it anymore and through his unsteady moans he mumbled.

"God, I want you …. Now …"

Makoto took out his fingers slowly and while sensually kissing his neck, he slid in slowly, overwhelmed by the hot tightness. It felt good being one with Haruka. Too good for his own good. But he did not mind losing his mind, if it meant he would feel so ecstatically happy. Haruka started chanting Makoto's name over and over again once Makoto finally hit his sweet spot, overwhelming him with bliss.

"Makoto, Makoto, Mako-"

"I love you, Haruka."

And with those words their minds became complete blanc, when they hit their highest peak of pleasure. Makoto collapsed on top of Haruka, still inside him, hugging his body protectively never wanting anything to happen to him again.

Makoto started planting butterfly kisses against Haruka's spine, trying to show him how much he missed being with him like that.

"Never forget me again, Haru."

Haruka just smiled softly. "I won't."

"Good."

With those words Makoto kissed him once again, swearing to himself that he will always protect Haruka, to always be beside him and to always show him how much he loves him. Because his love for Haruka –his Haruka- is eternal.

「In aeternum te amabo.***」

The end . Xx

Fuu, I am finally done with this story. It took me quite some time to write it. I hope you liked it. Never forget to review, it's the only thing that motivates me the most.

*Love never dies.

**You are my world, my whole life. I cannot live without you, because without you life is worthless.

*** I'll love you for all eternity.