Um, thought dump?
Rather dark, not for vivid imaginations...
Disclaimer: Yeah, cause I'd so be failing French right now if I owned this...
"Stop it! Please just stop!" She was crying, screaming, begging for someone to listen. Silently, wordlessly she begged. "Don't do this! Please just stop!"
-
It was flowing away again, that energy, the heart stopping terror that was filling her from head to toe. Soon she would be asleep again, moving away, drifting away. Perhaps she might even have a dream.
Perhaps...
She might even...
See...
-
"Stop! He's right there! Why can't you see him?"
-
It was unlikely, she wasn't allowed to have dreams
Or emotions
Or memories
She wasn't allowed to be happy
Or sad
Or angry
She was allowed to be nothing
See nothing
Nothing but what she was told
-
"Sarah stop! It's for your own good!"
-
They said that if she dreamed she would have a relapse
She wanted a relapse
Just to know...
Just to feel...
Something!
She was so tired of being told who she was, day in and day out
What to believe
Whom to trust
Whom to trust and believe in
What words to say
-
She was sick of everything
That everything she lost
Fought for
Regained
Cherished
And lost again
She raised the object, slash, slash it went.
And it went away...
It came back stronger again, slash, slash. Deeper!
Slash, slash!
Nothing... just crimson, useless worthless crimson!
Slash, slash
Please something anything!
A feeling
Any feeling!
Slash, stab, carve
Nothing
'Gobli...God someone just make it stop!'
-
"Give him back! You have no power over me! Please!"
-
There she was again, trying to dream, to imagine
She was useless
Nothing
She was useless at everything
Maybe he was right
-
"Such a pity"
-
She was a pity
Nothing
She'd done nothing to stop him from taking Toby again
Nothing
She deserved to suffer
So...
Slash, slash
Again
And again
Till she couldn't breathe for the pain
That intolerable pain that choked her
She vomited and spewed till only bile came up and the acid had scarred her throat.
She stuck her cut in the acid
She just wanted to suck it back up
To feel it burning
Something
She didn't want to lose
She lost
The champion lost
She didn't even deserve him
Slash, slash
-
"Dear god, look at what she did to herself! How can she have any blood left?"
-
Just one dream
One
Then she could sleep
One last time
And something shifted
-
She was in a Room. The Room sparkled like crystal in winter, and smelled like moonlight. In this room she was with someone, dancing. Familiar yet so surreal. The dress was beautiful, all white and perfectly fluffed.
Magic, pure unadulterated magic...
And then she woke up...
-
She awoke again
She was tired
So very tired
She looked at herself
And the crystal
Bubble
Dream
She dreamed
A beautiful
Surreal
Dream
-
And now she had to pay the price
She sat in the bathroom, unbreaking porcelain hitting her skin.
She lifted the knife one more time...
And her reflection was caught, skin pulled tight by wear, hair brittle from pain and worry and her eyes as soulless and relentless as the never ending nightmare her own dreams subjected her to.
-
She was so tired
Too
Too
Tired
And sick and weary of being used
Her bleeding wrists were useless
Her rotting carcass was useless
Everything she was and had was useless
She was sick of dreaming
Of wanting to dream
Of wanting something
-
And as yet another haunting melody stroked across the sky Sarah watched as her crimson covered bathroom burned and the scent of burning flesh filled her.
Slash slash
And the nightfall rained crimson...
Very Dark...
Yay! For dark fics! And as always you have to guess...
Please Review, I really like reviews...