This was originally written as a back-up gift for GG Secret Santa on LiveJournal. Like before, I thought I'd post it here. The giftee wanted unrequited love, and I did my best! I hope you guys enjoy.
As always, this is dedicated to my beautiful, amazing girl!
A little side note: Don't be an asshole. If you don't like femmeslash: don't read it.
"Jenny, hold this."
Jenny Humphrey almost missed those wretched times, the sounds of Blair Waldorf's ruthless calls. At least back then she could actually talk to Blair without having to provide a reason why. Now, there was no excuse. She couldn't even begin to conjure up some sort of explanation.
Her time with the Girls of the Steps was both a dream and a nightmare. Hazel, Penelope, and Isabel were nothing but pushovers. Their loyalty was fleeting. They jumped ship whenever the tides began to turn. Though, Jenny couldn't say that she blamed them. She would have done the same at one point in time.
Things were different now, however. She had committed the ultimate crime: treason. Jenny had committed it time and time again.
Blair would never forgive her.
She wasn't sure if she wanted her to, though.
Nevertheless, Jenny had come to realize that she was running in circles. If she had learned anything from tagging along with the stir-crazy, mentally unstable model, Agnes, it was that she was hardly one to settle for the average.
She needed intensity.
She didn't need a doting accomplice.
She needed attention.
She needed Blair.
* * *
"Little J."
Blair's voice was sharp and uneven; she wasn't happy.
At an instant, Jenny whipped around, her eyes narrowed guardedly. She felt herself recoiling from disgust at Blair's public demeanor; however, she held her own. All eyes were on her as Blair parted her sea of minions and stepped toward her.
"What, Blair?" Jenny managed quietly, her arms folded over her chest.
"What do you think you're doing here, Little J?" She asked the blonde brazenly, her perfectly shaped eyebrows raising in question.
"Just walking to class," She supplied impatiently, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.
"Take another route. You, of all people, should know that you're unwelcome in these halls," Blair's eyes narrowed viciously suddenly. Jenny didn't flinch, however. She knew this expression; she could see directly through Blair's hollow visage.
Suddenly, it was a question of morals. Jenny could back down, citing her lack of desire to deal with Blair's antics, or she could stand her ground and push through Blair's publicly impenetrable walls.
The latter left a better taste in her mouth.
Pursing her lips in a tight and sardonic grin, she glanced aside before holding Blair's dark gaze.
"Right," Jenny shrugged her handbag back on her shoulder and shoved past Blair. "I'll see you later, then, Blair." Her voice was low and threatening.
Blair's lips parted in aversion, and she turned harshly as Jenny walked past all of them, down the hallway. She huffed in annoyance, her lips pressed tightly together.
"Blair?" Hazel spoke her name uncertainly, demanding her attention.
"What?" Blair countered prickly, a glare now affixed on her fox-like features.
"Why did you let her go?" Penelope scowled.
"I didn't," Blair insisted, sending Penelope a look that knocked the girl right back down to her place. "Let little Jenny Humphrey think that she can get what she wants from us. Let her get comfortable for now. You know that they always fall harder that way."
Seemingly pleased by their leader's answer, Hazel, Penelope, Isabel, and Nelly all grinned to one another.
"Now, let's go," Blair instructed the girls, her fingertips curling at her sides. "I need a drink."
* * *
Hours passed, and school was long over. The night was chilly, and the air was thick with cold. However, that didn't matter, as everything of significance was transpiring inside the Waldorf penthouse.
Little Jenny Humphrey found herself pressed up against the wall, her back arched, her lips parted, as a pair of skilled, demanding hands brushed over the sharp curves of her body. She sighed softly, her chest rising and falling quickly with her ragged breathing.
"Blair," She whispered her name roughly.
The brunette glanced up piercingly at the other girl.
"What is it this time?" She commanded.
Jenny was hardly taken aback by Blair's rude and unwarranted cattiness. She merely narrowed her eyes, her fingertips curling at her sides.
"What was the deal with you in front of Hazel and the others today?" Jenny ventured firmly, her gaze darkening. "That game's getting old, Blair."
"What game?" Blair responded charmingly, her sarcasm thick. "You know the rules."
Jenny rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.
"What? That you're a bitch to me in public, but then in private you're a completely different person?"
"Exactly, Little J," Blair grinned and brushed her thumb over Jenny's cheek, only to have it viciously shoed away.
"Don't call me that," Jenny grumbled irritably, before heaving an exasperated sigh.
She absolutely hated this. Blair was living a lie, and it was difficult for Jenny to follow through with it without winding up entirely damaged and cast aside in the end.
"Watch it, Jenny," Blair reminded her briskly. "You don't—"
"I don't 'what,' Blair?" She snapped back. "Know that you're living some stupid lie? Kind of hard to lie to yourself for long, huh?" Jenny's eyes blazed. "What? Are you scared that they're going to think you're some freak because you're with me? That you're a lesbian?"
"God," Blair growled, her eyes igniting a flame of fury. "You're so damn needy, Jenny. Ugh!" She pulled away, her chest heaving as she scoffed and sighed. "I can't believe you."
"Excuse me?" Jenny retorted, her eyes wide with incredulity. "I'm needy? Well, then, you're the patron saint of—"
"Shut up! Jesus, you talk more than anyone I know."
"Oh?" Jenny chuckled contemptuously. "Blair," She caught her bottom lip with her teeth and sighed. "I can't do this anymore… not if you're going to be like this."
"Jenny," Blair was getting aggravated; Jenny could tell. It wasn't terribly difficult when her eyebrows furrowed and her lips creased with the utmost unsatisfied of frowns. "Stop being so overly sensitive. You knew the conditions when we began meeting each other in private like this. You said that you understood the circumstances."
"Really, Blair? You want to go back to that?" Jenny couldn't hide the amount of hurt and anger that defined her features.
"It is what it is, Jenny," Blair shrugged. This was all a game to her—a quaint night of pretend romance.
"Well, I'm done," Jenny announced. "I'm done with it."
"Don't you—"
"Blair," Jenny paused, her voice breaking. She ran her tongue over her lips, desperate to keep her words at bay. She didn't want things to end like this; the thought of pouring her heart out to Blair made her stomach churn with nausea and disgust.
Blair didn't deserve to know the depth of her feelings. Jenny was too far gone, and there was nothing she could do about it. Just like countless others, she had lost her heart to Blair Waldorf. She was now a historic part of Blair's unforgivable catastrophes.
"I love you," Jenny murmured, her vision blurred by tears as she held Blair's unrelenting and purposefully daunting gaze. Her knees felt weak, but not in that wonderful, fairytale way. Her world was crashing down around her, and only Blair held the key to redemption.
It seemed like hours before Jenny witnessed any sort of substantial reaction. Blair merely stood there, her eyes wide with shock and what appeared to be revulsion. Jenny's heart couldn't take much more of that look. She knew that she had to leave with haste, lest she reward Blair with the opportunity to tear her down even further.
"You should go… Jenny," Blair offered her awkwardly, her hands wringing together in front of her. Jenny wet her dry lips with her tongue and scoffed, sniffing in order to prevent unearned tears from falling.
"Yeah," Jenny whispered back, roughly wiping her eyes with the back of her right hand. "I should," She paused, ready to turn on her heels at the drop of a dime. "but first, I have something to say to you."
Blair feigned ignorance to her opposition. She simply stood, slowly, but surely recoiling.
"I always thought that maybe—one day—you would grow out of your stupid games, that maybe you wouldn't always be so completely ridiculous," Jenny began edging closer to Blair before stopping short. "but I was wrong. You'll never change," She bit back sharply. "Have a good life, Blair. I hope you had a great time screwing around with me, because I sure as hell didn't," Jenny turned, pursing her lips. She made it halfway out the door before stopping, her hands forming slight fists at her sides.
"You know, one day, I'll stop loving you," She spoke resentfully, her voice barely above a whisper. "but you'll never stop being a heartless, selfish bitch," Jenny swallowed and glanced briefly over her shoulder at Blair, who stood with an indignant expression. "So, I guess that means something."
Jenny left the Waldorf penthouse, walking away from Blair and their late night rendezvous for good. Yet, she still couldn't shake the feelings that Blair had imprinted on her. That violent and pleasant churn of her stomach with each kiss and touch, that spectacular sensation and rush of emotion each time she locked eyes with her: Jenny knew that they would haunt her incessantly.
She loved Blair, but she knew that she would never have her. Blair was a free spirit, damningly so. It was that, and she was too prideful for her own good.
She was a bitch. All she cared about was her social position, money, her reputation, and—oh—of course: Yale. Where could Jenny ever fit into that equation?
She couldn't.
Jenny was at a loss.
How could she possibly even begin to stop loving Blair? Her looks were evocative. Her eyes were unforgettable. Her voice made Jenny trip all over herself.
She was everything; she was perfection.
But she was still Blair Waldorf.